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Title: Far Away
Prompt: There really wasn't one. She told me she liked this piece of hers in particular and I winged it. Fight me.
Idea: Based on FreshToxinn's current Tumblr Background
Note: I'm late. I'm sorry. I'm in the midst of moving. Family stuff happened and we had to save my brother from being stranded in Oklahoma and just it all happened the week of your birthday you sweet sweet cinnamon roll child of absolute talent and brilliance. It doesn't make it okay, but honestly I really am sorry I'm as late as I am. I hope your birthday was the best, and that you were able to enjoy it and brighten the room just like you do our fandom. You said this piece was your favorite, and I'm not gonna lie babes. I am in no way good enough to write the absolute complexity of that image and the absolute feelings that come from it. I do intend to redo this one once I get better and can give it the one shot it deserves, but hopefully this is okay for now and it's something you'll enjoy. I ended up completely starting over today, but I'll still post the other one I had started for you since I teased you with it.
Again though dude. Seriously. Happy Belated Birthday, gorgeous. Keep doing you and keep being an absolute gem in the community.
Far away.
It's where she'll be.
It's where he knows he'll be free. A mission, and a choice—it was his and she had agreed. He walks the roads that come and he travels from one dimension to the next. The threat always one step a head. Drenched in sweat one moment, and cold down past the skin and into the bone the next. He's here to stay until the day he completes this mission.
Hopeless—yet, filled with relief.
He won't come out and ask.
Thankfully the one asked to guard continues to spill the smallest of details of her—of them.
Relief—yet, filled with hopelessness.
The sun refuses to shine in this dimension, and in the next it's far brighter than it should be allowed. Just when he thinks he'll be able to get closer and be upon this threat greater than Kaguya herself he's a second too late, and another far behind. Another moment lost, and another day far away.
He won't be free until he catches up. He won't be released from this mission until he's done his job. Far away from where his soul seems to sleep. Nestled from one cave to the next. Some nights spent gazing up above. The drop of the lids comes and it's deep in that world of black.
Far away—where he'll never be.
Hopeless. Relief.
The world looked upon with eyes seeking redemption cannot find it's way into this world entirely made up by him. He's always at the edge of this world with no direction seemingly clear—no light there to tell him where to go. Fingers shaky and palms sweaty. She's far away but it doesn't mean she's not the one that plays in his mind. She drifts in daylight, and yet he can't find away out of this night.
There's still not together even in here—hopeless.
Relief—that she'll still be there with a smile, and their child.
He cannot overcome this longing turning into bitter realization. Even as he sleeps she'll always be too far away. It doesn't matter how he searches for the flower that will bring him to her. It won't sprout from the earth of his dreams, and find strength within the night. Miles, and miles away is where it's kept it doesn't matter how far he travels here—she'll still be out of reach.
There's no doubt she's thinking of him even if she can't reach him. She's sending all of her hope where he has lost his own. It's the mission that keeps him away and yet she'll continue to send her hope, and that love that attracts them as one. This sky they view is so different. The moons are not the same and that sun is far from what spills upon her in that dimension back home.
He's caused this.
He's far away—and it's by his own thoughts.
His own fears.
His own dreams.
Falling down into the bitterness only has made him farther from her. These sins are what he needs release from. A single glimpse of her and a single look at them. That child is growing and he's missing all of it. He's restricted this woman, and he's restricted this child. It would crumble his resolution and his firm place already so deep inside this mission.
One more lock, and key to keep him from turning back—to remain the shadow he is meant to play. That constant reminder he does this for her. He does this for them. He does it for all of them.
Yet, he does it mostly for them.
Far away—hopeless with the smallest of relief.
He's losing it all the more he locks up his heart. He's unable to restrain it the further he travels whether it be here in the dreams, or out on the plains of consciousnesses. That flower meant to bring him back to her—he can only as for it to release him. All the pain and all the hate are building up the longer this threat drags him deeper away from her. Slowly those months, and days had fade away—he wishes he could reset it all. He tells himself it'll be okay but he's always been honest. He's been honest with himself, and he's never not been honest with her.
Here in this world of dark is where he's meant to stay. Hopeless, and without relief. Lingering and accepting that there's more days to separate them still. They're still not together, and it'll be a long time before he's found his way back to her. He won't be free until then.
Acceptance.
Understanding.
Far away—it's where his soul sleeps deep inside this world meant to give him ease.
Fingers pulling tight, and fists heavy. That tightening in his chest, and that drop of his stomach just another moment more. The dryness of his mouth and that longing thick upon his brow. He just wants released—he wants to come back home, and he wants to feel her arms wrap around him—to feel that relief he can no longer seem to keep.
One more step, and the tightening of his jaw. There's no difference from where he's come from and where he heads for. It's as if it plans to keep him eternally locked away and never to find the way out. This is no nightmare, but it's not a dream meant to provide him comfort. It's enough to make him take another step, and then an increase in pace. It's enough to make his heart beat in his ears, and then send this anxiety all throughout.
Running, and heading into the never ending black—deeper and deeper still. He can't find that flower—he cannot even begin to picture it. This longing has turned him against himself. It's made him wish, and it's made him ache. It's made him colder and it's put up another wall around his heart. Trying his best isn't always enough yet he's still desperate enough to find the flower meant to bring him to her.
It won't grow here. It cannot find light in the night to feed from.
Yet, he's trying and he's looking and his lungs are burning.
Heels are digging and it's that look back to see the distance he's covered—it's as if he's walking in one place never to move forward, and never to move back.
Hopeless.
Far away—no where close to where she'll be.
That grind of teeth and that physical shake within his being. He had atoned for his sins, and yet they were creeping upon his being and dragging him back down. He just wants to be lead back to her. He wants that sky to provide him comfort, and that scent is bring him ease—relief.
Fingers dare to raise and it's that press against his chest. That continued tightening deep inside his heart seeks to brings him pain.
Blood splattered.
That scent.
Those fingers.
The death.
It's that flower that he seeks.
It's burst from his chest and out from his heart. She's planted this seed long ago—that's why he could never find it. She's dug the seed deep filled with all of her hope, and all of her love. It's meant to kill his bitterness and silence his longing. It's there to remind him and it's there to shine brightly through this dark. Those petals overwhelm the iron that stains him, and it's those fingers holding him close that he takes. He's reached her at least here, and she's found him even as he traveled deeper.
She's where his soul sleeps.
It's here they'll be together—no matter how far away.
She drifts in the light.
Hopeful and filled with relief.
It's all that love, and all that she is that's tore through his heart, and out from his skin. It cannot be contain and it can't be kept at bay all these miles, and miles away. Another inhale and another moment to just feel the way her fingers press against his skin. That tightening of his hand around her own coated in the blood she's made pour with all of her love.
This death is entirely sweet, and it's what lights the never ending dark. It paints the walls within the palest hues glowing—only for his lids to flutter open.
That earthly smell isn't the one that bursts from his chest. It's the grass padding him. He's far away once more and she's where he cannot be. She's far away where his soul sleeps once more. The dryness of his mouth and that lingering desire to see if her love had truly blossomed forth from deep inside him comes. Fingers run across the grass before running across the cloth of his vest. There's no petals that dared to smell sweet and fill his nose. There's no blood splattered across this fully clothed chest. There's to fingers ghosting across his shoulder and wrapping around his waist. There's no whole where her flowers should be.
A single deep inhale, and that slow drag of his lids closed. He's not there and she's not here. He's here to stay and now without the sin of bitterness washing out like waves. He's got a mission to complete, and her to return to. He's here to put an end to this threat that would dare to threaten not only her, but that child that keeps them connected still.
Tired but still moving he's heading out once more. He has another dimension to hit, and another chance to put an end to this threat. It may linger in the shadows and he may always be a moment behind, but it has to end at some point and then he'll be free.
Far away—it's where she'll be.
Hopeful, and filled with relief.
Endlessly.
