Fit the 4th
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (as has already been established) is a wholly remarkable book that preys on the fact that the Universe is a big and, frankly, frightening place. Not only does it claim to reassure you with it's use of the words "Don't Panic" on the front cover, but it is inaccurate, or sometimes just inconclusive with it's entries. Take it's entry for the Galactic Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha (More commonly known as the Earth). Harmless. That is how it reads (The editors have still not managed to include Ford Prefects revision.), now, in a Universe with the size that it is, "Harmless" is slightly inconclusive. Is it Harmless compared to the Rafoolines of Trafenex whose idea of "A Good fight" is a flick round the ear? Or is it Harmless when compared to a being in the level of Ultimate God?
This shall not be answered in this fit.
Nor in this Fan fiction.
"Hey Monkey Man," Zaphod called. "Have you see Trillian anywhere? Last, I heard, she was with some dumbass pervert, which I guessed to be you."
"Hey! How was I supposed to know she was a he whose bananas had fallen off the bongo tree?"
"Eh?" Asked Ford, clearly confused.
"Never Mind. Anyway, wasn't Tricia a news reporter or something?"
"Who you talking 'bout monkey features?"
"I think he means Trillian, in fact, I'm sure he means Trillian, if he doesn't mean Trillian then I will personally… I don't even know. Oh god I'm so depressed."
"Oh yeah...Damn. She went all Yankee Doodle on me and left to be some cruddy reporter. Man that sucks. Who wants a Gargle blaster? Hey Computer!"
"Hey guys and Welcome back, I thought you'd all forgotten about me, I think you might just like to know that…"
"Shut up Computer, I just want you to make me a Gargle blaster, k?"
"Sure thing Mr. Beeblebrox, But first I think that…"
"Hey, did I ask for you to chat to me? No. So just get me that Gargle blaster and be on with it."
At this point, it should be explained that, due to Zaphod Beeblebrox's incapability to concentrate on anything other than himself for more that 10 seconds, the starship Heart of Gold is being followed by the Armed Police forces who just so want to lock up Zaphod once and for all. It does not matter to them that here are 3 others on the ship apart from Zaphod; just that Zaphod is there.
They have been chasing Zaphod for quite a while now, and, so as to keep surprise and suspense levels low (due to it being a terrible cause of death in many parts of the galaxy), it shall now be told that, yes, this time, Zaphod Beeblebrox will be caught and put in jail.
Jail;
A place where evildoers are kept, with a shoddy lifestyle. Deserved by many, although only the real bad guys are put away.
Real Bad guys;
Anyone I don't like.
So, that marks the end of tonight's fit.
What will become of the other 3?
Where is Trillian?
And will this fanfic ever seem to have a purpose?
Should I give up and tell you now that this Fanfic will involve the Ultimate Question?
Find out tomorrow in Fit 5.
