So here comes Chapter 4. I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. I might not be able to upload for a while since I will be away on vacation, but until I leave, I will try to update as much as I can.
Thank you for sticking around.
Enjoy.
One week had passed since Jim had woken up in Spock's room. They hadn't talked about Jim's break down again. They had gone to school, and spent the day in silence, both caught up in their own thoughts.
The next day it was like nothing had happened. Jim was his usual cheery self, and Spock had returned to his controlled demeanor. All seemed to be normal once more.
Spock had kept his promise, he was tutoring Jim after school every day, and even though Jim groaned and complained, he secretly enjoyed the time he spent with Spock. The library was always quiet, the smell of old books and soft light surrounding them like a cocoon. It was in those moments that Spock seemed somewhat softer, more relaxed.
Jim couldn't help but treasure the few moments that his Vulcan friend actually seemed human. And yet, he envied him for his self control, for his ability to push away every emotion like pain, hatred and fear.
And yet, they both carried themselves with a small amount of unease. Jim never told Spock in how much trouble he had been when he returned home after spending the night at the embassy, and Spock never told Jim that he had been lectured by Sarek for not only bringing a human into the embassy, but also letting him touch him.
They both kept quiet about their emotional pain, a pain Spock shouldn't be feeling at all if it was up to his father.
Both tried to hide it away, keep it locked in their mind, buried under the facade of happiness or control. Both thinking the other could not help. They were just children. What did they know each others pain?
"Jim, concentrate." Spock scolded quietly as Jim's eyes once more wandered from his text book to the window, sighing quietly as the sun shown and the birds sang.
It was a beautiful day, a day that should be spent outside, not locked away in a library trying to understand something he would never fully grasp.
"I'm trying Spock, I swear. But its so hard. Its Saturday, for god's sake. We should be having fun." Jim frowned, looking at the Vulcan that sat across from him. "I mean, we've been here for hours. Can't we take a break? I'm only human you know."
Spock's slender eyebrow rose as he took a second to contemplate. Jim was right. Humans needed a period of rest every once in a while or they could not keep up with the input. They were so different from Vulcan's.
"We can take a break." he slowly agreed. "What do you want to do?"
"Well. First of all, lets get out of here. I want to be outside. Come on." Jim shoved the book into his backpack, shouldering it with one fluid movement.
Defeated, Spock packed away his book as well, allowing Jim to grasp his wrist and pull him behind him. Jim turned his head to look at him, the grin on his face big enough take up most of his face. Spock still didn't understand Jim Kirk. He wondered if he ever would.
"And where are we going?" He inquired, his inner eyelid closing to protect his eyes from the sudden sunlight. Coming from a Desert planet did have its perks.
"Its a surprise silly. Don't be so nosy. Honestly Spock, it wouldn't kill you to let go." Jim answered, his voice showing all to well how amused he was. "We're kids, Spock. We should be enjoying our childhood."
Enjoying their childhood, Spock thought. Did he ever have a childhood? Did any Vulcan child have one? He had watched the human children in his school. At an age where he had already been studying, achieving academical success, humans were still running around, playing a game they called "Tag". Some where sitting in a corner, drawing. Others were playing in a sand box. Was this childhood? The freedom to do as they wished?
Humans put so little pressure on their young. And yet, some humans achieved greatness. Few, but still. Spock wondered what his life would have been like if he had grown up on earth, not on Vulcan. Would he be like Jim? Would he enjoy his life as much as he did? Did it really matter?
"We're almost there. Close your eyes." Jim suddenly said, stopping to turn to Spock. "And don't do that inner eyelid thing and then say you did, that's cheating."
"Why should I close my eyes?" Spock asked, his eyebrow arching once more.
"I already told you, its a surprise. Just close your eyes. I'll lead the way. Don't you trust me?" Jim tilted his head to the side, blue eyes practically drilling into his.
A good question. Trust was illogical. Why would he trust a human he barely know? What if he wasn't worth trusting? What if he got himself hurt?
Spock scanned the area. They were no longer in the small city. They were on a dirt road, surrounded by fields, and in the distance, he could hear water flowing lazily in what had to be a small stream. This was not a very safe area, he thought to himself. Was it safe to close his eyes and let himself be lead by the other child?
But when he looked at Jim there was no doubt. He couldn't say why, he couldn't figure out what exactly it was about this human child that made him want to trust, to be around him. To be his friend. But it didn't matter. For once in life he decided he didn't need an explanation. That his reasoning did not have to be logical. He could let go in front of Jim. Jim would not judge him for his human side that the other child knew nothing about. He liked him for who he was, wanted to be his friend not because he pitied him, or because he thought it would give him some kind of advantage to be friends with a Vulcan.
Jim was his friend because he liked Spock for who he was.
"I trust you." Spock said, his voice quiet, unsure, but knowing that it was the right thing to say. He could feel his heart beat speed up, pounding hard against his abdomen. He had said it out loud. He had admitted it. And it felt good.
"Great. I trust you too. So come on, close your eyes. I promise I won't let you run against anything." Jim grinned, waiting for Spock to close his eyes, gently taking the aliens hand.
Spock's eyes flew open as he quickly pulled his hand away. Never had he felt anything like that before. Never had anyone touched his hand with such a soft and yet firm grip,and it sent shocks coursing through his entire body. He was shaking, his eyes wide as he looked at Jim, who was staring back, confusion and something Spock could not put a name on seeping into his eyes.
"Vulcan's are touch telepaths Jim. We use our hands very differently then you. They are sensitive." He whispered, taking a deep breath.
"Oh. Did I hurt you?" Jim asked, his voice just as quiet at Spock's. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." The pain in the humans voice was clear, sharp, and Spock couldn't stand to hear the normally so jubilant voice filled with sorrow.
"You did not hurt me, Jim." he answered, shaking his head lightly. "I just did not expect it. You can hold my wrist. I will close my eyes and follow you." He gave Jim one last glance, before once more closing his eyes, waiting for Jim's fingers to wrap around his wrist once more,to take him to the surprise he had promised him.
Jim hesitated for just a second before taking hold of Spock's wrist once more walking beside him, slowly leading him over a field that laid idle, carefully pulling him over the dirt.
Jim's heart was soaring. Spock, the Vulcan, the boy that seemed like a man, that was so much better and stronger then himself, trusted him. He was letting Jim lead him. He was letting go. Handing himself over to Jim. And Jim had never felt so good about himself.
All his life people had been telling him that he wasn't good enough, that he was worthless, that he was a failure. And here he was. With a Vulcan that wasn't only his friend, but that trusted him. Jim was ecstatic.
The sound of water grew louder, and Spock had to fight his instinct to open his eyes, assess the situation he was currently in, and see if he was in danger. If he did, he would hurt Jim's feelings. His mother had told him that friends wanted to see their friends happy. For Spock, it didn't feel like want. It was a need. He needed Jim to be happy.
Finally, when he could barely stand to keep his eyes closed, the water sounding much too near, Jim stopped.
"You can open your eyes now." He said gingerly.
Spock complied, and when he opened his eyes, he fought the urge to smile.
They stood close to the stream Spock had been hearing. Soft, green grass lined the banks of the stream, a gentle wind caressing his face, messing up his hair, and for once in his life Spock just didn't care.
He turned to Jim, who's eyes were sparkling, his features tense as he waited for Spock's reaction.
"It is beautiful." Those words seemed to be enough, for Jim's face lit up with joy as he pulled Spock closer to the water.
"Me and Sam, my older brother, we'd come here every day in summer. We'd swim in it, until we got too cold and could barely move, and then we'd lay in the grass and wait till the sun dried us." Jim said, sitting down in the grass only inches away from the stream, pulling Spock to sit next to him. "Sometimes, Mom would come with us, and she'd bring a bag of food, and we'd just sit here and talk."
"My mother had a garden." Spock looked up into the blue sky. "She would sit with me and read to me. Books she had brought from earth. Father did not like that she was reading human stories to me. He said it would only put ideas in my head. But mother never backed down to Sarek. She kept reading to me until I was old enough to read myself."
"Wait. Your mom is human?" Jim asked, his voice filled with surprise.
"Yes. My mother is human. She married my father and came to Vulcan to live with him." Spock's entire posture stiffened. Would Jim judge him like the other Vulcan children did? Would he call him half breed and turn him away?
"Well." Jim said, pausing for a few seconds. "Your mom must be really brave and special then. I probably couldn't stand up to your father to save my life. He's all sorts of scary. I mean his eyes. The way he looked at me. I honestly thought he could break my neck and not care."
"Father is not violent, Jim. No Vulcan is. You don't have to be afraid." Relieve washed over Spock. Not one comment. No hate. Just acceptance. Nothing had changed. Jim was still his friend.
"Well yeah I know but still. I'm glad you're half human Spock. Your eyes are warm. You may have pointy ears, and green blood, and you may prefer logic over emotion. But.. I don't know. Your eyes are warm. I like that." Jim smiled, suddenly standing and pulling off his shirt, throwing it to the ground, quickly followed by shoes and socks. "I don't know about you, but I'm going for a swim. Enough emotional talk for one day, you might have a heart attack if we keep going."
And there Jim went, dressed in nothing but his pants, diving into the water. He quickly reappeared, his hair sticking to his face, his eyes shining with such unbelievable joy that Spock could barely take it. The young Vulcan could do nothing but watch in awe as Jim dove and swam through the water, fighting the stream and enjoying himself while doing so.
"Come on Spock. Join me!" Jim called, waving him into the water. But Spock shook his head.
"I.. I can't swim, Jim." He said, turning his head to look away from the human. He was ashamed. Ashamed that he could not fulfill Jim's wish, couldn't join him. Couldn't make him happy.
"Right. Desert planet." Jim's voice was still filled with happiness. "Okay, you know what, for now you can stay over there, but I will teach you to swim, and then you have to come and join me, got it?" And with that, Jim once more dove into the water.
How could one single human being be so accepting? So understanding towards all Spock's short comings? Once more, Spock could not grasp the being that was Jim Kirk. And he had never been so thankful for having such a good friend.
The hours passed without Jim noticing. They flew by as he swam, talking to Spock, bringing him stones from the bottom of the stream. He urged Spock to tell him more about his home planet, how it looked, what animals they had. Jim wanted to know everything. Not just about Vulcan. But about Spock as well.
When the sun started to set, he was torn from what he was almost sure had to be a dream. This day had been one of the best in his life, and he wished it never had to end. But he was late, very late, and if he wanted to survive, he needed to go. He quickly pulled on his clothes, his entire body language screaming out his discomfort.
"You are strained, Jim." Spock said, finally standing as well. "Why are you troubled?"
"I uh.. I'm late for dinner. Frank's going to be upset." Jim said, rubbing his face. "I have to go home. I can take you back to the dirt road. Do you think you can make it back the embassy from there? I'll point you in the right direction."
Spock nodded, puzzled as to why Jim's behavior was suddenly so different. Now that he thought about it, Jim always behaved differently when it came to his step-father. But he did not pry. Jim would tell him if he wanted him to know, that he was sure of.
"I will find my way home from there, Jim." he simply said, following Jim as they made their way over the field and back onto the road.
"Okay, just follow this road until you hit the city again. If you hurry, it'll only take you 15 minutes. You'll find the embassy real quick from there. I gotta go. I'll see you in school tomorrow!" And with that Jim ran off into the other direction, leaving Spock behind.
The Vulcan watched as the humans figure grew smaller, before slowly turning and walking into the direction Jim had pointed him into.
He would have a lot to meditate on tonight.
Jim could feel the air burn in his lungs as he pushed his body, kept running even when his legs started hurting, and his heart was pounding against his chest so much it hurt. Maybe, if he was lucky, Frank had already passed out. Maybe Frank wasn't even home. Maybe, just maybe, he would get away with being late just this once.
But of course, Jim had no such luck. His step-father was sitting on the porch, a bottle clasped in his hands, waiting for Jim's return.
The boy didn't even get a chance to speak before Frank had grabbed his wrist, pulling him into the house, roughly throwing him onto the floor.
"You're late boy. What did I tell you about being late?" He asked, his voice too quiet, too calm. Jim was scared.
"I was studying with Spock in the library. I told you that. You want me to get better." He spat, sitting up as he looked at the man his mother had left him with.
"Don't lie to me, boy. I checked there when you didn't show up. Was gonna bring you home. Lady that worked there said you and the alien had left hours ago." Frank's lips turned up into a nasty smirk. "You think you're so smart, boy. Think you're so sneaky. But you ain't nothing but a good for nothing piece of shit that should have been swallowed at birth."
Jim shook his head, trying to calm his breathing, trying to not show the fear and panic he felt.
"We needed a break. We forgot the time. I'm sorry I'm late." Jim said, wanting to stand up, but knowing better. If he did, Frank would just knock him back down. Once more, he wished he was Vulcan. Wished he could be stronger. Wished he could throw Frank around, into that pile of bottles and trash where he belonged.
But he was only a child. He wasn't strong enough to fight him. His legs wouldn't carry him for much longer, so he couldn't run. Frank would just catch him. It would make everything worse.
"Sorry isn't enough, boy. You know you need to be punished. You know you deserve it." When Frank reached to grab Jim once more, adrenalin rushed through the boys veins. Not again. He couldn't take that abuse again. He jumped, stumbling away from Frank,and into his room, closing the door and leaning against it.
His head was spinning, his heart beating so fast he could hear the blood rush through his ears, his legs shaking with the effort to keep himself up, and shoved against the door. He couldn't hold Frank off for long, but he could try. He had to try.
What would Spock do? He thought, eyes desperately searching the room for something, anything, that would help him. Frank was taking his time to come get Jim, no doubt counting on the fact that waiting would only make Jim more afraid.
And then, one hard kick to the door, and Jim was once more sprawled out on the floor. He tried to crawl away, tried to escape, to hide under his bead like he did when he was a toddler and Sam was teasing him, but Frank quickly got a hold of his ankle, pulling him out of his room.
Jim closed his eyes and surrendered himself to his fate.
So, here's chapter 4. Please let me know what you think.
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Yours faithfully,
Akikofuma
