Chapter Four: Mortality
Carlisle
I smiled at the sound of a newborn's cry downstairs. Nessie had named her after Edward; Edwina Sue. "I know Edwina is really the feminine version of Edwin," Nessie had admitted, "but Edwardine Sue sounds silly…" Why she was so set on Sue as a middle name I had no idea, but as long as Jacob had no objections I didn't question it.
Little Winnie was a healthy baby, and yet I found myself dreading what I had to tell Jacob and Nessie.
I heard Winnie's cries gradually stop as she fell asleep, and imagined Nessie laying her in the crib in her and Jacob's room. Any moment now, they would be coming up to my study, as I had asked.
The door stood halfway open, but Nessie still paused just outside. "Papa?"
I smiled, standing to greet them. "Come in, Nessie; Jacob." I crossed the room to push the door closed behind them. "Have a seat."
They sat together on the low sofa, while I took the armchair across from them. "I need to talk to you about Winnie."
Alarm leapt into Nessie's eyes, while Jacob's darkened with concern. "Is something wrong with her?" Nessie asked quickly.
"No," I hastened to assure her. "But I think you need to know…to the best of my knowledge…she's mortal, Nessie."
It took a moment for Nessie to understand, and then she visibly relaxed. "That's all right…you'll change her when she's old enough."
I sighed deeply; I had been afraid Nessie might see this as the solution. "No, Nessie," I said quietly, "I won't."
Nessie's face went white. "But…why?" she whispered.
I leaned back in my chair, gazing over Nessie's head as I thought for the hundredth…thousandth…time of the reason for my decision, a decision made long before Winnie was even thought of.
"I changed your father, Nessie, and after the first period of adjustment, he seemed reconciled to the idea of being a vampire. Three years later, I changed Esme." I smiled slightly at this point in the story; Esme was the only one I had never wondered if I had done right to change. "She…was willing to be anything, as long as it was by my side. And so…I hardly thought twice before changing Rosalie. She was dying; I thought your father needed a companion; I was sure she wouldn't mind any more than the others had."
I sighed again, rubbing my hand over my eyes. "But she did," I continued in a low voice. Rosalie would have preferred being left to die, and yet, somehow, she didn't resent me for changing her; it was an odd kind of forgiveness that I felt I didn't deserve. It seemed selfish to wish for more, and yet…I did. "And I decided then that I could never do that to anyone else… I don't have the right."
"But you changed Uncle Emmett," Nessie pointed out.
"Yes. Rose carried him home bleeding, begged me to change him…I had already sentenced her to this life; how could I insist that she live it alone? And Edward told me she was determined to try herself if I refused…how much worse would she feel, if she ended up killing him?
"We made the treaty with the wolves soon afterward," I went on, nodding slightly at Jacob. "It was easy for me to promise never to bite a human; I had already determined never to change anyone again."
"What about Momma?" Nessie asked. "I know Daddy changed her, but…would you have?"
"Yes. She knew what we were; had expressed her willingness to be changed. Changing her wouldn't have been playing God."
"So if Winnie wants you to…"
"She may not, Nessie," I said gently. "She may fall in love with a human and want to live…and die…at his side."
"But if she does want it…" Nessie insisted.
"Only if I'm sure it's really her choice," I said quietly, "not something she's doing because she thinks you want her to."
Nessie scowled at me. "You're not the only vampire with enough control!"
"There's still the treaty, Ness," Jacob put in quietly.
Nessie stared at him in horror. "Jake…you don't want Winnie to die!"
"You're talking as if it's happening tomorrow. She has seventy, maybe eighty or ninety years."
Nessie crossed her arms, glaring, and Jacob put an arm around her. "Nessie…you've always been immortal. But those of us who have been mortal know that mortality isn't always a bad thing."
She looked up at him, a new uncertainty in her eyes. "Jake, you don't…you wouldn't…?"
We both understood what she was asking; Jacob was only partly immortal. If he stopped phasing for any length of time, he would age and eventually die like any human. "Only if I lost you," he said simply.
Nessie sighed and cuddled against him. "But, Jake, what about Winnie?"
"Let her grow up first, Ness," Jacob said quietly. "There's plenty of time to decide."
The End
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