A/N: Here is another chapter for you! I think chapter five will be pretty much all Lokane feels! Prepare yourself! Thanks for your continued support!
Disclaimer: All content of Marvel is not mine. I enjoy writing Loki and his journey without monetary compensation. (:
"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not;
and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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"OW!" Darcy whined as Jane tended to a mild wound on the other woman's abdomen. "This is not what I envisioned when I signed up to be your intern."
"Yet you never did leave," Jane countered, her face placid while Darcy winced as she stitched the infliction.
"Where did you learn how to do this sort of stuff? Or are you just an encyclopedia for everything in existence?" Darcy inquired, trying to divert her thoughts to a more lighter topic.
Jane lifted a corner of her mouth briefly, stealing the chance to glance up at the younger woman playfully. "Ha ha," was all Jane said.
Darcy raised her brow, sighing impatiently, "Well?"
Frustrated, Jane almost threw down the medical materials over Darcy's paled flesh. Eyes dancing with mystery, Jane shook her head. "I had to."
Darcy sighed when more silence ensued. "Care to explain?"
Jane grabbed the needle and continued stitching her up. "Not entirely."
"I thought by now we'd tell each other everything," Darcy softly noted, her voice soothing, yet winded.
The chestnut scientist bit her lip and slowed her pace, "You shouldn't push yourself so far. You'll grow weak, and believe it or not, I still need your help."
Darcy scoffed. "Have you taken a glance in the mirror? You're a mess."
Jane cut the string and knotted it for security, careful not to inflict additional discomfort to her friend. "I take care of my own first. You know that."
"At the cost of yourself? Are you trying to be a hero or just plain stupid?"
Jane stood up and turned away, facing a large opening resembling a window overlooking the city. For a moment, she stood there in wonder. This place seemed to have that effect over her. She kicked at the wall below the opening lightly and exhaled peacefully. "Back in containment, I did what I had to do in order to survive. I saw what really went down behind closed doors. The things that base taught me were invaluable to other people. I tried to signal the Avengers with no reply. I realized that this was up to me.
"I taught myself how to win and stay alive. I'm tough for someone so...small, I guess. I don't like reflecting on my family because of the way they decided to leave me, but I haven't had a true reason to succeed until I found science. Yet it gives me more problems than even I can handle. I stay alive and help others live, too. I'm good at that," Jane explained, arms crossed over her chest protectively.
"And I get that. But Jane, the things you know are things others will kill you for. You should be less reckless and more cunning," Darcy suggested.
Jane shook her head, closed her eyes, and chuckled. "I've always been halfway between madness and sanity: between being reckless and being cunning."
"I'd argue that it's not a good balance. I mean just look at what madness made Loki into. He betrayed everyone for what? Power?" Darcy countered spiritedly.
Slowly, Jane shifted on her feet to turn back toward Darcy. "People do strange things for strange reasons."
Distinctly, Darcy scoffed, "He's not even a person."
"That's not fair."
"You're defending him now?"
"Of course not," Jane mumbled.
Both women chose silence as their companion for a few moments. Jane never gathered the courage to return Darcy's stare. Meanwhile, the other mortal simply grunted aloud. "Honestly? How can you even think good things about that god? When we were back in the garden, you should have seen the way he stared at us: like we were beneath him or his prey."
Jane tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear shyly. She swallowed and nodded. "I'm not unaware of who he is. I'm choosing to give him a chance."
"Peanut butter, tabasco sauce, mustard, and tartar sauce deserves a chance. Loki has had plenty with everyone else. Why should you be the one to be the exception?" Darcy fought.
Jane scrunched her features in disgust. "Oh, that's disgusting."
"Thank you!"
"Not the latter topic, but the condiment mix. How on earth did you come up with that, Darcy?" Jane retorted. She moved the back of her hand over her mouth and squinted her eyes appropriately.
Darcy snapped and followed by clapping once. "Focus!"
Jane looked up and shook her head in helplessness. "I can't get that taste out of my head."
Frustrated, Darcy grunted and thought for a moment, looking down at her hands. As soon as her eyes brightened, Jane knew her next choice of words would not be as pretty. "What if those condiments were on Thor's abs? Can you say rock-ing! He's so ripped."
Jane fanned herself, features contained to the center of her face. "I think his sweat wouldn't mix well with those condiments."
Playfully, Darcy plucked a pillow from her bed and threw it no where near where Jane stood. Hysterically, she giggled. "Why are you focusing on the condiments? It was a metaphor."
Jane sighed slowly and gathered the thrown pillow, setting it back toward the headboard next to Darcy. "Be respectful of their things here."
"Yes, mother," Darcy snapped sarcastically. When Jane became slightly irked, the youthful woman just smiled. "Look, Thor came to our world and smashed a cup against the floor and destroy a small town in the process of trying to save it. Loki nearly destroyed New York City. I think I'm allowed to throw a harmless pillow. Lighten up."
Jane drew back her head, quite angered. "I can't just lighten up! Have a look around, Darcy. We're not on vacation or in the middle of some sex tape with Thor's abs. Until this mess is sorted out, we're in hell. At least we'll be there soon, I expect. I feel like I am the only one in all the nine realms that wants to fix the problem before more things spiral out of hand again."
Darcy reached for a nearby bowl filled with fruit. Taking a bite, she haphazardly said, "You're being dramatic."
"You're the one fantasizing about Thor's body. I'm trying to work to solve the problems of the end as we know it to all forms of civilization. Someone has to," Jane pointed out.
"What did Thor's abs ever do to you?" Darcy asked abruptly. When Jane broke into a bright flush over her skin, Darcy lit up. "Or didn't do to you? Jane, are you telling me that that walking piece of something hasn't ever banged you?"
"I'd like to point out that I would never bang or be banged by anyone: human or god alike. That gives me weird images about his hammer, now."
"Well, has he or hasn't he?" Darcy repeated.
"What?" Jane stalled.
"Oh, my. Please tell me you've been-" Darcy began.
"Shh!" the chestnut haired mortal warned menacingly.
"Well, have you?"
"No!" Jane whispered.
"Why?" Darcy questioned, staring at Jane as if her ears had grown leaves. "You're already twenty-seven, right?"
"Closer to twenty-eight, but does it really matter?" Jane inquired, not really seeking any answers. She hoped Darcy would just drop the matter entirely so she could hide behind something very massive forever.
"Yes, it matters! Have you really been that busy with your research?"
Jane shook her head slightly, irritable. Lowering her voice, Jane stifled the pronounced blush across her flesh. "For your information, I have been too busy all my life to do much. Maybe that's why I couldn't keep a relationship for longer than a few months. Maybe that's why I can't look at Thor the same way I did than in those three days back in New Mexico."
"This is so sweet, Jane."
Brows furrowing, Jane scoffed, "It is not! It's not like I'm waiting for my hero or some sort of fairytale! I'm just waiting for the right time."
"The right time or the right guy?"
Jane shot up and placed her clenched fists on either hip, "I'm leaving this conversation. I hope you're feeling better before I find a way to throw you across the room."
"You say such repetitive threats, do you not, mortal?" a deeper, airy voice called from behind them.
Turning, Jane was flushed, nearly matching Thor's costume color. "Loki!"
"Go away. We don't want you here," Darcy warned, clearly unhappy of his presence.
Loki simply proffered an indifferent smirk. "You're in Asgard, human."
"Meaning what exactly?" Darcy countered.
"Only that your opinion matters not to anyone here. Especially me," Loki retorted, nose held high.
"I'm leaving," Jane announced. She couldn't take much more of these petty, childish opinions.
"I will escort you, mortal," Loki declared.
About to object, Loki mirrored Jane's pace as she stormed out of the room. "What could you possibly want?"
"I informed you of my intentions."
Rolling her eyes, Jane groaned. "Stop calling me mortal. The name is Jane."
"Mortal, the day I oblige you will be the day I call Thor brother," Loki snorted, cheeky.
Jane looked up and couldn't help but smile softly. Clearly, he had family issues. Who didn't? Suddenly, Jane stopped, grabbing at her abdomen and wincing. "Ah," she murmured softly.
"You should heed the human's advice and learn how to take care of yourself."
"Trust me when I say that I'm fine," she insisted, trying to progress forth without success. "It must be all of the movement. I got hit when they were here, but the adrenaline was too high in my system for me to have noticed."
"You are too careless. Have you no one to care for you?" Loki inquired, suddenly vulnerable and open.
Jane met his gaze weakly, but still managed to stand firm in her place, "I've only got myself. For now."
Loki grinned sickeningly, bothersome Jane's opinion. "And what of your mighty Thor?"
Beginning to limp toward her room, Jane bit her lower lip and squealed slightly at the first step. "I can't trust someone who I've only known for a few days. So far, he's too busy with his duties to rebuild any sort of relationship. I understand, though. He'll be king someday. I just wish he was as dedicated in actually living life instead of defending it."
"That is quite possibly the most selfish notion I have ever heard anyone speak about him," he commented uncharacteristically calmed. His eyes hinted toward entertainment, while his feature alluded indifference. Jane couldn't make out which was his true intention. And that really bothered her for some reason.
"I'm not afraid of saying what I mean," she told him, hardening her own features.
"I like you."
Jane smirked aimlessly as Loki's arm extended toward her for support. Taking her attention to stare at his arm, she lifted her head and rose her brow. When he nodded, eyes wide and quiet, she conceded. He guided her toward her quarters in silence. Eventually, she replied, "You said that when I slapped you."
"That I did."
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"Be silent, Lady Sif," Odin ordered with quiet contempt.
Still kneeling, Sif reluctantly sighed. The goddess of war had truly hoped the Allfather would see her point of view; instead, he was blinded with the same hope in Loki as the day he'd brought the Jotun here, save the mischief maker was nine times the more mad. Sif silently conjured her rather scandalous opinion of the miniature Frost Giant.
Loki was selfish, cruel, vain, and entirely insufferable. He fought admirably enough, but he could never quite hold the blade as well as his brother, nor defend his friends like Thor. In retrospect, the true heir of Asgard was valiant, courageous, albeit a bit prideful, but all the more forgiving of others.
Sure the goddess was naturally quiet, more of the follower sort—especially under Thor's lead. Such a trait was equally as dull as it was admired by her comrades; but, Sif was her own living nightmare. She had been bred to hold her tongue on political circumstances. She would never be involved in the actual decision-making, but the defending of such decision-making.
The goddess was seen in most scenarios as a blind and loyal follower. Growing up, the Allfather had paid her many compliments, including that she had more in common with his son, Loki. The two, he compared, were both placed in Thor's shadow. The only difference between them was how they used it and how the recollection affected them.
Loki was determined to undermine and best Thor; meanwhile, Sif simply admired the golden boy's courage and generosity in most situations. Sif submitted herself to the shadow, while Loki resisted it. The warrior biasedly thought that the shadow was a good place to be in. It wasn't unbearably dark, nor was it inconceivably bright.
In plain terms, the place behind Thor was honorably complacent. It was safe. For someone who had fought alongside the heir since practically birth, safety was comfortable. At least in her opinion. Sure she would never receive full honor for her participation and deeds under the shadow, but at least she would participate in the benefits.
"Sir, Loki is as mad as a cell rat unexposed to the sun. I have fought against him with the crowned prince. His character is not one of honor, but of pity. He only craves attention," Sif reasoned.
Her arguing with the Allfather was so unnatural for her. Where Loki was concerned, she would defend the nine realms with or without his blessings. She had seen the cruelty in his eyes from the very moment he'd received the Allfather's staff not so long ago. To think she had ever resorted to kneeling for the bloomer repulsed her so.
"Silence!" Odin raged, eyes warlike and hot. She did not fear him, however. She did not cower. But she would always listen. "My son is of what we discuss. He is still a prince of Asgard. Though traitorous, he is family to the high ranks of our people. Though esteemed with great contempt, I will not have him waste away any longer, Lady Sif."
"What sort of message will Asgard receive upon his release?" the lady warrior countered with just as much passion.
Odin sighed, saddened. "I am of ancient touch, Sif. Please understand that when one assumes age as mine, life is given a different lens. No matter how flawed my reasoning, I am still the Allfather until Thor can situate safety for the nine realms once more. Although my son, I cannot trust Loki. I have given the mortal his custody. Thor greatly cares for her and by that notion, I give my trust to her."
"Entrust that I won't stand for this irrational injustice. Neither you nor Thor should be connected to someone who has blatantly tried to defile two realms altogether. I will not act against you or the royals' wishes, but upon the first instance of treason, I will be the first to slay the maker of mischief," Sif warned, escorted herself out of the throne room.
Stalking down the hall, the lady sighed sadly. She was caught between justice and orders. She stood for justice, but had vowed against breaking orders. Where would her morals stand in the event of both choices upon the instance of treason? She knew not.
"Lady Sif! How please I am to see you. The servants did tell me that you'd likely be around the throne room. I thought I would seek you out. My father has decreed us and the Warriors Three depart from Asgard on the morrow to Midgard. We must defend that realm at all costs. He says until a lead arises elsewhere regarding the attacks here, we must defend the defenseless," Thor proudly spoke. Their steps altered to sync into their privately unconscious pace.
Lady Sif lowered her lashes and sighed, "Who will be here to look after Loki?"
Thor's smile dimed. "You are wary of my brother?"
She only nodded in reply, biting her lip. Her gaze equaled his again. "What of Jane?"
"Her place is here for now. Asgard is in as much danger as the other realms, but there are more venues for protection here," he told her, his voice deepening.
"Thor, I wish to remain behind. I cannot shake away this gnawing feeling regarding Loki's freedom."
Thor's features darkened, "Your place is by my side, Lady Sif. Neither my father nor myself would be too pleased otherwise."
Sif's eyes moved forward onto the path lay before them. Still in sync, the pair stopped even as their attention was fixed on different objects. Thor turned his body and made sure she met his gaze. "Sif, you fought beside him as long as you defended by my side. You have seen him under normal conditions. Jotunheim was an unnatural occurrence. He has served his penance tenfold. Forgive."
Sif bit her lip, her hues noticing Thor's move down to gaze over her mouth. She felt an odd, familiar clench in her belly. Cautiously, she released her worried lip. Curiously, Thor's chest released a heavy breath. Lifting a brow, she angled her chin so she would appear defiant. "Friend, I will abide by my convictions, but I will heed your wishes. Nothing changes in my opinion of him, but for your sake, I will back off. I'm sure there are more important subjects to cast worry over."
Thor smiled, genuinely pleased. "Exceptional."
"When shall we depart from Asgard?" Sif questioned.
Thor rested a hand on her shoulder, appearing quite dissatisfied with the explicit change in topic. Either Thor wished to privately speak of something, or he desired to continue the subject of Loki. Either way, neither option was appropriate for her to venture. She was his comrade. They'd grown together, played to together, yet they would never be equals.
"Sif, we shall expediently depart to Midgard with the high sun."
"I will see the Warriors Three fit for combat. Until then, I shall leave you to your endeavors."
Thor appeared rather put out. "Of course," he smiled, eyes bright like blue fire.
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Review please?
