Chapter 4: The First of Many Trials
"Dear Valentine, These are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right, but I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye..."
It was still dark out as Arthur left Gwen's house and made his way back to the castle. He avoided the guards and patrols as he walked back to his room. Once back and safe inside his room Arthur leaned against the door. A huge smile covered his face. He had experienced the most amazing night. He had spent the night in Gwen's embrace, something he had only dreamed about. He loved that her scent was still on him and his clothes now. He never wanted the clothes he was wearing to be washed no matter how impractical it was.
He went over to his bed, lay down, and closed his eyes. Later, when Arthur opened his eyes it was because the sun was shining on his face. He sat up and rubbed his eyes hoping it would fully wake him up. He had a long day ahead of him.
"You came home late or should I say early." A voice said that Arthur knew too well.
Arthur looked across the room to see his father sitting at his table. "Good morning."
"Morning." Uther said with a scowl on his face. "Is she with child?"
"Excuse me?" Arthur said acting confused but in reality he was offended and his blood boiling.
"This girl you seem to care so much about. Is she with child?"
"No." Arthur said walking over to the cabinet and getting a clean shirt out.
"Good."
He stripped off his shirt and threw it on the bed. "Why do you ask?"
"You were gone until early this morning, I'm the king and you are the heir to my thrown it's my business to know." When Arthur said nothing, Uther asked: "Arthur, do I need to deal with a bastard child and its mother?" The question was harsh.
"No."
"I'll see you downstairs in twenty minutes."
Arthur was hesitant in asking the next question: "What would you do if she was with child?"
"It would be none of your concern." Uther said standing up.
Arthur grew stiff and shuttered at the ideas that infested his head. He did not know what to do. "Father, I love her but I won't share a bed with her until we are married."
"Well, that's a relief. Get dressed. You have a big day ahead of you." Uther ignored the first part of Arthur's comment. His son was young this was just a phase.
Uther moved towards the door and had opened it when Arthur said: "You could be happy for me."
Uther closed the door and glared at his son. "Happy?" He snapped at Arthur. "Where would you get such a silly idea?" His eyes were icy and his tone coarse. "This girl is just a fling. After you are done with her, you will throw her to the side. It is how things are done. Why should I be happy, because you are jeopardizing everything I have built? You are behaving like a child and a fool! I thought higher of you. Obviously, I was wrong."
Uther left the room and Arthur speechless. Arthur always tried to make his father proud. He had always needed his father's approval but now…now, things were different. Now, Arthur did not need let alone want his father's approval. Want and need were different. No matter how hard Arthur tried to be tough, the words still stung.
Leon watched as Arthur swung his sword and hit the target once again. He was happy that the target was just a practicing dummy and not an actual person. The person would have died a painful death and suffered serious injuries. Leon flinched as Arthur blew the dummy another blow.
Leon stopped Merlin as he was carrying new supplies for Arthur. "What's wrong with him?"
"I don't know." Merlin said. "He woke up this morning and was in a bad mood."
"That's not from waking up on the bad side of the bed." Leon said. Like Merlin, Leon knew about Gwen and Merlin's relationship. "Where was the prince last night?"
"In his room." Merlin said with uncertainty. Merlin and Leon exchanged a knowing look. "Well, you know what they say. Love will make you do crazy things." Leon and Merlin looked at Arthur who was delivering a final and deadly blow to the practice dummy. The wooden figure split and fell over. "Apparently dangerous as well."
"I'll deal with the prince and you…go do something." Leon said.
Merlin disappeared leaving Leon alone to ponder the best way to approach the prince. Leon looked around for any ideas. He looked down at his belt and saw his sword. He sighed and looked at Arthur before going out onto the field.
"Do you care for a sparring partner, My Lord?" Leon asked Arthur.
Arthur looked at Leon surprised. "I'm not sure this would be your arena." Arthur said before turning his back to the knight addressing him. The prince was not dressed in his regular practicing apparel instead he was wearing a trousers and a shirt that was drenched in sweat.
Leon shed his cape and vest. He stripped down to a trousers and a shirt just like Arthur. He watched Arthur and waited for the correct moment to put his plan into action.
The clash of metal against metal was usually not a startling sound to Arthur. This time it was because he had not been expecting his sword to hit another knight's let alone Leon's sword. Leon shoved Arthur's sword off and swung hitting Arthur's sword. He continued to advance towards Arthur until the prince decided he did not want to play defense anymore.
Arthur took the chance and switched up his maneuvers. He changed his tactics and started to advance on Leon. His blows to Leon's blade were fast and hard. He did not give Leon a second to recuperate from any of the strikes. Arthur kept on advancing. Luckily, Leon was a skilled sword master and able to handle the blows Arthur was sending him.
The swords clashed against each other and Arthur put all of his weight on the blade. Leon struggled but was able to push Arthur off. Arthur looked at the sword in his hand and then at Leon. He was not mad at Leon and attacking him would do no good.
"Another round my lord?" Leon asked Arthur.
"No." Arthur said.
Leon had to be careful about how to address the situation with Arthur as he was the future king and Leon was just a knight. He had no right to talk to the prince about certain issues but he was also Arthur's friend. "I know."
"You know what?" Arthur asked.
"About Gwen."
Arthur slowly turned and looked at Leon. "What do you know?"
"I know you love her. I also know that your father would never approve. I assume from your sparing session that something happened." Leon treaded carefully. Arthur may not have shown it easily but he was fragile and his temper was known to get the better of him. "I know we aren't best friends but you can trust me. You can talk to me and…Merlin." Leon was smart enough to know that Merlin was a good friend to Arthur even if the prince would not admit it.
"There is nothing to talk about."
"Great." Leon said but he did not believe Arthur. "If there is nothing to talk about than why are you trying to kill me out here?"
"I'm not trying to kill you." Arthur said.
"Then why are you in such a bad mood."
"I…" Arthur wanted to open up but he could not. He was a prince. He could never really have a friend no matter how much he wanted one. "I'm just frustrated about this war." Arthur said.
"Of course." Leon said, knowing that what Arthur said was true but that was not why the prince was sweating and attacking the target.
Arthur knew he was being watched. He knew his father was keeping a close eye on him so Arthur could not take any chances of being caught with Gwen. He did not just fear for her safety he worried about what would happen to Gwen to general. Arthur knew his father to be a determined and stubborn man. Once something was set in the king's mind, there was a very small possibility of it changing. Arthur knew better than to tempt his father with the opportunity to destroy what happiness he had found with Gwen. Therefore, he kept quiet and resisted doing anything brash.
Arthur walked into his room hot and sweaty from a workout with his knights. He took of his armor and placed it on the table. "Merlin…" Arthur looked up at the figure that was standing in his room and said: "You aren't Merlin."
"No, I am not." Gwen said she had been in Arthur's room changing the sheets as a favor to Merlin when the prince came in the room. "I was just leaving sire." Gwen said moving past Arthur and heading for the door.
The word sire burned Arthur's ears. "Guinevere,"
Gwen stopped and turned. "Yes, sire? Was there something more you needed?"
Arthur looked at Gwen confused and frustrated. "It's Arthur. You know that."
"I am not sure what I know my lord." She said through gritted teeth. She was mad and it was starting to show.
Arthur gave Gwen a stern but knowing look. "Can we start over because I am not sure what has happened?"
"You want to start over?"
"Yes, please." Arthur said. If eyes could have daggers, Gwen's most certainly did. She would have taken his head off in a matter of seconds if it were possibly.
"I don't know if that is possible."
"Why do you say that?"
"I am too upset with you to give you a second chance at the moment and what makes it worse is that you are clueless. You have no idea why I am even upset with you." She felt like crying but the anger she felt restrained her from doing so.
Arthur's voice was gentle and calm. He approached her slowly but Gwen backed away from him. Arthur kept his distance and asked. "Will you tell me what I have done to make you so angry so that I may repair the damage?"
"No,"
"Please,"
"Why should I?"
He was speechless. He had never seen Gwen like this. It was foreign to him. "I am sorry for whatever I have done to offend you."
"You haven't offended me. You've been avoiding me."
"No, well, yes but I have a reason for it."
"I'm listening." Gwen said holding a basket of linens on her hip and refusing to look at Arthur.
Arthur could tell that he was not going to have it easy. "How have you been?" Arthur asked.
"What?"
"I haven't seen or talked you. I've missed you."
"You have a strange way of showing it. You do realize that it has been a week, right? You have not talked to me in a week! A week! For someone who says he loves me you have a funny way of showing it." Gwen reached into her pocket. "I think you should take this back." She said holding her hand out with a small trinket in the palm of her hand. "This belongs to you."
Arthur closed the gap between him and Gwen. He looked at her hand and then at Gwen in shock and pain. He felt a pang in his chest and his breath fell short. "It was a gift." He closed her hand around the ring. "Keep it." He turned away and went over to the table.
"Arthur,"
His back was still turned to her. It was too painful for him to speak of the reason for his behavior and face her. "I haven't been to see you because my father is keeping a twenty-four hour surveillance on me. For some reason he does not trust me and I did not want to put you in danger." He turned and faced her. "I could not live with myself if you were hurt because of me. I am sorry that I did not have Merlin inform you. I thought it best not to aware you of the situation clearly I was…wrong."
"Is that you apologizing?"
Arthur shifted uncomfortably. "Yes."
"That's a horrible apology but a good explanation."
"I know." He was a prince. He was not accustomed to apologizing. He tried again: "I am sorry for all the distress I've caused you with my actions. Although my actions contradiction my feelings for you they have not wavered."
"That was better." She said cracking a smile.
"Was this our first disagreement?" He asked leaning against the table.
"I believe it was."
"I didn't like it."
Gwen laughed. "I don't think you are supposed to."
"Come here." Arthur motioned Gwen to come over to him. Gwen put the basket down and walked over to Arthur who took her in his arms and held her close. "I am sorry. I hate that my father came between us."
"I should have known something was going on. All of the gossip about you not being yourself did ring true after all."
"There was gossip?"
"There always is."
"Anything new or interesting?"
"No."
"Good." He breathed in her scent as he held her and her head lay on his shoulder. It was intoxicating and comforting. It brought him back to the night they spent together.
"When are you leaving?" Gwen asked even though she did not really want to face reality. She knew that Arthur had to go. Camelot was still at war and Morgana had not been found yet.
"Too soon."
"When?"
"In a couple of days. I don't want to go."
"You have to."
"I know." Arthur let out a sigh. "Wait for me?" He asked although he already knew the answer to the question.
Gwen smiled. "Yes."
"I don't want to say goodbye." His grip tightened on her.
"It is not goodbye."
"What is it then?"
"I don't know."
"I'll miss you."
"I will miss you too. Don't let go of me."
"I won't. I promise I won't." Arthur said.
It was early and the sun had yet to rise but for Arthur it the day had already begun. He walked down the hall dressed and ready to leave. It was easier to leave before everyone else was awake. It was easier than saying goodbye.
He had already said goodbye to Gwen the night before but seeing her would make it harder for him to leave. They both knew that this would not be the end. It was just another obstacle in the way but it too would come to past. It was just one of those things they had no control over. There would be many things like that.
"Arthur,"
Arthur stopped and turned to face his father. "Yes,"
"You're leaving now?" Uther asked.
"Yes, it's easiest to leave now." Arthur said.
"I see." Uther said. He was unsure of how to address what was on his mind. He was a king but he was also a father. Finding a balance had always been difficult for Uther.
"Was there something else you wanted?" Arthur asked unsure of why they were awkwardly standing in the hallway not talking.
"I…I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you. Don't ever forget that." Uther put his hand on Arthur's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze before letting go. "Good luck."
Arthur looked at his father with uncertainty and astonishment. He needed to tell his father the truth. He needed his father to know that he was not going to say goodbye to Gwen and that his feelings were genuine but this was not the time or the place. "Thank you."
"Hopefully, I will see you soon."
"Hopefully," Arthur nodded and continued to walk down the hallway to his unknown future.
Gwen looked at the envelope that was on her table with a single rose lying on top of it. She knew from whom it came but a part of her did not want to open it. There was so much uncertainty in her future that it was scary to think about.
She put the letter aside but it did not stay there very long. Curiosity and need made her open it.
"Guinevere,
I do not know what to do to make the time speed up so that I might see your face once more. I do not know what to say to ease the nights and days away from you. I know little about the future and of what is to come for I have much to learn.
Although I have much to learn and do not know everything here is what I do know. I know that my love for you is more powerful than anything I have ever experienced before. I know that love is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing for all the happiness that comes with it and a curse for all the sadness and pain.
You have already taught me many things and yet I still feel clueless at times. You have taught me the importance of being a true and just leader. You have taught me that love does not have a price and that I somehow am blessed enough to receive it from you. I thank you for it all.
There is so much to write down but I cannot find the right words to format it in. I wish you were here with me or I was there with you. Everything is easier and better when you are around… The words flow when I see you because I am not afraid of what is on my mind…I will miss you. I love you now and always will. Do not ever forget that. Until I see you again.
I remain yours,
Arthur"
Days and weeks would pass but their love would remain strong. It would change with the trials of time but for the better. Hope would help guide them through the hard days and eventually it would all work out.
The End
A/N: I have been looking at this for the last week feeling something was missing but I concluded that I like where this ends because it is similar to the series. Anyways, that is the end. Who else was happy about the premier? Personally, I cannot wait until the next episode. Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
