The Tears We Cry

"Crying is the only way you can speak when your mouth can't explain how something broke your heart."


Rain and sweat run into his eyes, mingling with the tears. There's the taste of salt on his lips, but he lets himself pretend that it's just left over from dinner.

It's not that he's ashamed to cry. No, that's not it at all. It's just that if he starts – really, truly starts -, he might never stop.

So he keeps sprinting along the rooftops, pushing himself harder and harder until his legs ache and his lungs burn, until his blood pounds and his vision is fuzzy from lack of oxygen.

And then, just for a moment, with the rain pounding on his face and neck, with his heartbeat in his ears, he can make himself forget.

But all too soon the moment is gone, and the images and sounds flash in his mind again. The crunch of bone and the wet squelch of steel through flesh. His father, hunched over with a look of shock and pain on his face. The dull thud of a body hitting the concrete.

This time, he can't push past the rage and the sorrow. It swells inside him, culminating in a scream that tears itself from his throat. He falls to his knees, crushed by the realization that his father is really and truly gone. There will be no more meditation sessions with him, no more family movie nights. No more retelling of the mutation day story in their father's rich, smooth words.

His lip trembles and his fists clench. "I am not going to cry. I won't."

"Tears do not show weakness, my son. It takes a special kind of strength to cry for someone."

The voice comes from nowhere, nearly startling the ninja out of his shell. His head jerks up, bloodshot eyes searching for the owner of that voice, that beloved figure in a red kimono. But the rooftop is empty save for the rain.

"Take courage, my son. It will be all right."

At those words, something in him settles. A strange peace washes over him, relieving some of the weight that had settled on his broad shoulders that awful night.

With new resolve in his mind, he stands and wipes the tears from his face. Taking a deep breath, he starts towards the Lair, where he knows his brothers will be waiting anxiously to see if he will return or not.

When he gets there, he will grin and act as if everything is just fine.

He will be strong because they need him to be. Because they deserve it.

"Take courage," he echoes softly. I will, Dad. I promise.