Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Lupin, Remus!"
--
'Quiet, studious, polite, eager to start classes…werewolf?!'
What has that got to do with anything?
'Nothing, sorry, Mr. Sensitive…'
Please don't tell anyone.
'I'm a Hat. Who would I tell? Other than people I Sort into Houses, so, technically, I suppose I could blab it to all of Wizarding Britain…'
I'm taking this Hat off. Maybe I could give it to the Slytherins, they look mean and angry enough to rip a priceless magical artifact in half…
'That's quite enough of that, young man. Where was I? Ah, yes, your House—after that little threat, perhaps I should send you to join the Slytherins…'
If you think I can learn best there.
'I don't, more's the pity: no, it's either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. No way am I putting you in Hufflepuff—what a waste of potential that would be. Well? Got a preference?'
Not really.
'Come on…no prejudices you learned at your parents' knees? No new friends on the train who I've already Sorted? Just pick one.'
It really doesn't matter?
'Not to me. Of course, to you it will matter enormously—but either should do the trick, as far as your school years go.'
And after that no one will care what House I was in.
'Boy, do you have a lot to learn…'
I don't know why you're still in a huff—you started it. But, if it's up to me—I pick Gryffindor.
'Excellent choice—after all, it was quite brave of you to threaten me, Godric Gryffindor's own Hat. Go on—
"GRYFFINDOR!"
---
"How'd it go? Lupin, right? You were up there for a long time."
"I don't think the Sorting Hat likes me."
