We eat at the Cullens and they all look at me when I take my pills. I pretend they don't.

"So." Emmett says after a minute and I laugh

"So what?" I say back, he smiles

I see Jasper in the corner, Bella with Edward across the table and Rose glaring at me. I smirk back and she gives me a look and picks at her perfect nails.

"So, Rose," I start.

She doesn't say anything and Edward smiles. I smile at him and he shrugs.

"Anyone know a good mall?" I hint and she looks at me.

I can tell she wants to tell me all about the best places to get clothes but she's stone. I wonder if I spilled soda on her white tank.

Edward laughs a little and I look at him.

"Nothing." He promises

I shrug and look at everyone, Esme is talking to Alice and I don't know where Carlise is.

When I'm done eating I get up and Edward pulls away from Bella.

"We can do the dishes, you can relax." He smiles, I can see every perfect white tooth.

"So you say." I ask him,

"Yeah, we won't bite..hard." Emmett says, grinning,

I laugh out loud and study my hands for a minute. Black, long, sharp. I remember I gave Jason a huge cut once when he tickled me. Drumming them. A promise ring from the boys on my ring finger. Long skinny fingers, you can almost see the bones and tendons. Scars from needles on the backs. Blue veins run from my hands up my arm.

"Nice nails." Bella says, noticing my stare.

"Thanks. Good for clawing brothers." I grin and she smiles a little.

I sigh and wince. The ache in my chest gets a little shaper with each deep breathe. I hug my rib cage and Bella stares at my pale arms.

"Why did you come?" Rose asks.

I narrow my eyes are her, my eyes snapping up at her voice.

"Because." I mutter.

Bella looks sorry?

"Because what?" She presses, her voice louder.

I wince. "Because I got in some crap at home and need to cool off." I shoot back, muttering almost.

"What kind of crap?" She asks

"You wouldn't care. You are perfect." I tell her

"You think so? How?" She smiles, smug as heck.

"You are beautiful, rich, you have people who love you, you are healthy." I raise my voice a little bit.

She looks stunned. She doesn't say anything and my phone beeps.

My dad called.

"Ah crap." I whisper.

I would be in so much trouble if the boys told my dad what I told them.

"What's wrong?" Edward asks.

"Nothing. Hey do you know where I could get a job?" I suddenly ask.

"Why?" He asks

"I need some money, why else?" I ask

"Just wondering," He shrugs, not talking his eyes off me.

I had to help with the crap at home. We were almost out of money and the insurance wasn't going to cover anything till next month and that was weeks away.

I bite my lip and drum my fingers on the table.

Everyone is gone except Rose, Edward and Bella.

Rose stalks off and Edward smiles a little.

"Sorry about her, she is jealous. Don't worry." He promises me.

I snort and roll my eyes at him. "You think?" I ask

"Yeah, I know. So, Lucy Grace." He says

"So, Edward Anthony." I say back.

He looks shocked, so does Bella.

"Yes Miss Lucy Grace?" He recovers.

"I know Bella hates blood, what about you?" I smile a little.

"Me?" He looks amused

"Yes, you are the only Edward Anthony in this room." He laughs a little

"Good point. I don't really care." He smiles.

"Mh." I mutter.

"You?" He asks.

Over the years I have gotten used to seeing my blood. I shrug

"Don't really care." I say.

His gold eyes burn in my skull. I cough a couple times and sigh.

"What time is it?" I ask

"6." He says weary.

"Dang." I laugh

"What did you say your boyfriend's name was?" Bella asks me.

"James." I smile

Edward tightens his arms around her,

"What did I miss?" I ask

"Nothing." She mutters.

"He's coming next week for a visit, so you can meet him." I suddenly remember, "With my brother too." I add.

Edward smiles as Alice comes back.

"Hey, Edward." She smiles at him and I can't help but miss Jason.

"Hey Lucy" Why is she so hyper?

"Hi, Alice right?" She nods and runs back out.

I look at Edward and he shakes his head. "Don't ask." He explains.

I laugh and he smiles and Bella shakes her head. "Same old Alice." She mutters.

"Same old Alice." Edward agrees.

I smile as Edward kisses Bella and at her pout when he pulls away slowly. I know how he feels. Doesn't want to hurt her but still love her. He pulls away form her face and shoots me a look. I shrug and shoot him a 'It's nothing, don't worry' look and he nods and smiles.

"What Edward, what are you thinking?" Bella demands, worried

"Nothing Bella." He sighs, still looking at me.

"Don't you lie to me." She says.

I laugh a little. "You don't want to know Bella, trust me." I save Edward.

"Oh really? What don't I want to know?" She asks Edward.

"Lucy gets where I come from concerning your safety." He edits slowly, thinking of the right words.

"My safety from what?" She asks

"You're heart." I say simply.

"What about my heart?" She begs almost

I laugh and shake my head. "He hurt you. He can do it again if you let him. You convince him to go a little farther and could cost your sanity." I explain.

Her mouth pops open, staring at me.

"Like you know?" She asks, not as a rude comment but a question.

"It's happened to me. Almost." that word comes out like I'm choking.

"He broke me once, I won't let that happen again." She says.

"So did I!" I yell

I didn't know I was shaking till I saw my arms.

"Wha?" She asks, confused.

"I promised Jason and My dad! I told them I wouldn't leave them or whatever!" I tried to lower my volume. That was like trying to convince a lion to be vegetarian.

She looked lost.

"Let me ask you, have you ever thought you were going to die?" I ask, fighting to keep my voice from shaking.

She looks at Edward and he won't look at her, his eyes are locked one mine.

"Yes." She almost whispers.

"Leave everyone you love behind?" I add.

"Yes."

I looked at Edward and send him a begging look.

"Don't worry Lucy, I won't let you break that promise." He says in a solid voice.

I nod and a few tears fall down my face before I can stop it.

Edward hands me a tissue box and a smile. A huge crash of thunder shakes me.

Carlise comes back.

"I think they need to stay the night, the storm is to crazy for anyone to be driving." He tells us and panic races though me.

"I need to go home." I protest.

"It's not safe." He calm says.

I can last one night with out it. Are you a baby Lucy, need two treatments a day? Grow up, be brave. Just like Jason. If he could, I could too.

"Ok." I fight those tears of panic.

"Lucy, are you ok?" Edward asks in a soft voice,

I pull my head to my chin, letting my hair cover my face and I nod a little and swallow the tears.

I can't do this. A sob racks my thin body and I can't stop shaking.

Pull your self together girl. Jason has to watch you go though all those visits and emergency that drives us to the hospital for a week. He stands there like a good brother and is brave for you. Think about someone else for two seconds, I think.

I cough a bunch and wipe my face.

"Come on Luce, can I have a smile? I know you are scared." Edward says in that soft voice,

I nod and look into his gold eyes and something snaps and I smile a little then grin then lean my head against the back of the chair and laugh.

He smiles and pats my hand

"See, it's ok. It's just a little rain. It will all be ok in the end, I promise." He tells me (My brother said this to me the other day and I hold him to it. He's my big buddy!)

I nod again and sigh.

Bella looks confused. Oops, Bella is gonna hate me.

"Don't worry, right now its just you and me at this table, in this room. Look at me." He says

His eyes give me hope that he is right, it may be fake but it's all I have.

"I trust you Edward Anthony." The words surprise me.

He smiles and nods. "I will do everything to make you better Lucy Grace Elizabeth St. John." He vows.

I vow again, bite my lip and giggle. "Thank you." I whisper.

He won't stop smiling. "How about we get you into a shower and some pj's." He stands up, holding out his hand.

I take it and let him pull me to him, wrapping his arms around my mid section, rubbing my ribs and spine. I sigh in his chest and feel safe. I wanna cry but I can't, he makes me feel so good.

He leads me to a huge bathroom thats bigger than my room and hands me a towel and gives me some time to shower.

After a showering in the big tile shower, I get into the pants and tank someone left on the counter along with a toothbrush, a hair brush and my inhaler.

I smile, grab my inhaler and walk back down stairs. Edward is on the couch. He pats the spot next to him and I sit down.

"Feel better?" He asks.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry for falling apart. I'm normally really strong." I admit.

"Every strong bridge collapses sooner or later." He mutters,

I giggles and lean back.

"Want to watch the SpongeBob Movie?" he asks.

"I love him." I smile and he laughs.

He sets it up and gets comfy on the big couch. We watch and I feel so good.

Somewhere in the middle I fall asleep. He shifts and I yawn and stretch,

"Hey sleepy, I didn't mean to wake you." He whispers.

"What time is it?" I ask

"A little after 11. Go back to sleep." He barley makes any noise,

"I'm really thirsty." I realize

"Here." He hands me a cold glass of water with a straw.

"Wow, thanks." I take a couple sips, two hits off my inhaler and two more sips.

"Sleep." He breaths.

I snuggle against him, he puts his arms around me, holding me to him. He starts humming something and soon I'm out like a light.

Sun light wakes me up, I'm in a big bed. His bed. How did he carry me all the way up here. I weigh like 105.

"Good morning." He whispers form the door.

"Hey." I say, smiling.

He smiles and my heart goes crazy.

It's Saturday! James.

"They are coming today." I tell him.

"James and Jason?" He asks

"Yeah," I say more to myself.

"Let's get you some food." He says as my stomach rumbles.

I laugh and hop up.

After breakfast Edward drives me home. I don't know Bella is.

"She is with Alice and Rose. I convinced her to give me some time to help you alone." He says almost reading my thoughts.

I don't say anything at first.

"She is mad." I note.

"She's jealous." He says

"She shouldn't be. I have James. I need someone to be my rock and you were there." I amend.

He stares out the window. I sit there a minute.

"You know Lucy, if you ever need anything, money, a friend, a place to vent, I'm here." He says.

I nod and try to fight the guilt.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"What for?" He asks

"I wish I could tell you. You seem like a great person, Edward." I say

"You can tell me everything." He whispers.

'Thank you." I tell him and open the door.

There's a silver motorcycle next to Bella's truck. There leaning against it is my shining star.

"James." I breathe and walk up.

"Hey Goosey, fancy meeting you here." He says

I laugh and throw my hands around his neck, crushing myself to him,

"Yeah, no shiz." I whisper, kissing him.

He laughed as I straddled him in the now pouring rain, kissing every inch I could reach.

After what I thought was years he gently leaned away, one hand on my hip, the other pushing my hair back a little.

"Missed you too." He laughs,

I laugh and hug him tight, "I love you," Straight into those green eyes.

He kisses me again and it's good to have him back.

"I love you too." He whispers, his mouth next to my ear.

It's good to have him home.

HOW IS IT? REVEIWS!