Thank you guys for reading and reviewing! To those that are guest reviewers I have posted in the review section to your reviews so be sure to check in there every now and again! Second there is a link to see what dress I used for Rory, I know my description didn't bring it justice. Third just as a heads up there is a LOT of dialogue in this chapter, couldn't really change it up for what I am leading into for chapter five. Sorry guys! Fourth: Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, nor Sober Saturday Night by Chris Young (it's an awesome song guys if you haven't heard it yet check it out!) nor Dreaming of You by Selena (another of my favorites). I merely borrowed them to set the mood.

As always thank you for reading! I live for reviews so pretty please with fudge on top review! Enjoy guys!


Rory was under one of the gazebos where she had been dragged to and pushed unceremoniously in. She hadn't glanced at who had pushed her yet, she was fuming that they pulled her way from Mitchum in the first place. He deserved to be punched in the face, then torn down like he did to everyone else, and coming from someone that he tried to scare away, who was never really scared of him in the first place would be so sweet. 'Fucking douche' she thought leaning against on of the rails the smell of the roses floating up to her nose, she had a hard time with even looking at roses after Logan left now they were overwhelming her senses.

"What the hell happened to you?" She could tell they were off to her right, probably leaning against one of the poles towards the entrance. Then groaned at the sound of his voice this has been a starry crappy end of day. 'Yeah I should have just stayed in Kokokato at least then I would have had a different ending to my day' she tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling. "Rory." Oh he was getting impatient hm? Rory glanced at him, he was tense coiled like a snake ready to strike at anymore or pace like a caged lion.

"Life Logan" Rory sighed, and put her head in her hands just tired of today. "You walked away from us, from me all because I asked you to wait first. I was not ready and then you throw out an ultimatum that I had no choice in but to say no." She spun around facing him head on "I just graduated! I was taking the job on the campaign trail you were going to factor me in remember that? Instead you didn't want to go backwards regardless of the fact I waited for you while you spent a year in London under Mitchum's orders because he was hoping that would break us so you could find a good trophy wife. I floundered every single fucking day since we broke up because something reminded me of you or something would happen and I wanted nothing more then to call you and talk about my day. But You. Weren't. There. You were off making your dreams come true, without Mitchum's help and you have no idea how incredibly proud of you I am that you made it into a multinational corporation.

"Me however, I was struggling to survive day to day, I threw myself into my work cried myself to sleep countless nights. Then I see an article, not even a full year after we broke up that you were engaged I finished breaking I had already start breaking the day I watched you walk away. I cleaned like someone doped up to much Pixie Sticks and a caffeine overdose, I didn't sleep for days mom's house looked like she hired someone to come clean. The best thing in all honesty though as much as that destroyed me, it was good for me. Hugo had to let me go because of the economy, you were getting married everything just seemed to fall apart. So I used some of the money Gran left me and spent two months backpacking across Spain even though I seriously debated on Asia I couldn't stomach it anymore. I was in Pamplona at the right time to see the Running of the Bulls festival. It was beautiful, insanity and fearless, I talked to a few people and one person that I talked to had to have been fifties, had just lost his wife after forty years to a kid with a gun."

She looked back out at the gardens pausing to take a few breathes he hadn't tried to interrupt her yet. "He was in the festival to prove even though he missed her terribly there was still beauty in the world and a reason for him to keep living even if it seemed insane to everyone else. It stuck with me, because I had locked down me I stopped seeing the world as something beautiful when you walked away it was like you had sucked everything from me and I was just this empty gray shell. I needed to remember what living was and being in politics was not doing it for me, so after numerous lists I started applying to positions I wouldn't normally take. Andrew contacted me at the beginning of year two for an opening he knew I would be great for I didn't think about it, no list, no talking to mom I just did it." She chuckled softly "Mom was pissed and I learned how to live without you in my life. I have done good for myself, sure a little more jaded, a lot more guarded but I am done being what everyone expects out of me."

Rory fell silent after that she could feel his gaze on her and once again she just wanted to be done, go to bed and maybe have a better day tomorrow. She could hear the party still going on, people talking about her and how she needed to learn her place and that someone just needed to glue her to a chair and forbid these unladylike acts. "I'll send you a fruit basket I feel like I owe at least a little bit of what I have built to you" she started walking pass him, since he still hadn't said anything to her apart from the beginning before her verbal diarrhea. "Have a good night." Rory refused to get personal again and walked down the gazebo steps hoping the garden had a path back to the front so she did not have to walk back into the party. Andrew may gripe a little at her but he understood how much their archaic statements pissed her off.

Why was there just something about Logan that made her end up telling him the whole sordid affairs of her feelings and what had lead to her changing ultimately had been him, him moving on. Rory knew she was walking aimlessly not really seeing the garden but hearing the breeze, the crickets chirping the gentle rumble of the ocean as waves crashed gently into the shore. Stopping at one of the benches she sat down and pulled her shoes off, walking along the shore seemed like a good idea there was no one at the party that would look for her, except maybe Finn or on the off chance Logan. She remembered the day Page Six announced his engagement.

Flashback: 2008

Rory had just arrived back at the hotel in Phoenix when her mom had called to ask if she had seen the news.

"Logan Elias Huntzberger is off the market ladies and gentlemen! It appears after the failed try last year to long term girlfriend Rory Gilmore. Didn't stop the Huntzberger heir from finding the lucky lady to spend the rest of his life with." Her mom read in a false cheerful high pitched voice "The question on every ones' minds though was he cheating on Rory Gilmore, with American Sweetheart Cadence Fitzgerald or did he just figure out she was the right one for him? You heard it here first at Page Six that the Huntzberger Heir Logan is off the market."

Rory felt her knees give out before she made it to her bed, a hand came up to her mouth trying to mute the tortured sob that threatened. She took a few deep breathes swallowing the sobs down forcefully, "all I could ever wish was for him to find happiness mom. Hey I have to go and finish up my article but I will call you later okay mom?" Rory needed to get off the phone her mom still didn't understand why she was so heartbroken in her mind Logan was just another rich frat boy who didn't understand the concept of working hard and earning a place in life.

"Okay sweetheart. Love you"

"Love you too mom bye." She hung the phone up quickly tossing it on the bed it had hit the headboard and fell down the gap between the wall and bed. She didn't know how to move on, for her Logan was it and now he was engaged. Like she didn't exist and for all purposes she didn't. She was a robot floating day to day no emotions no feelings just doing what she knew was expected out her and being told she had done a good job. The ground was shaky for her before and now it felt like she was spiraling falling down this nothingness abyss. Something inside of her broke and she wasn't sure how to fix it or if she could even fix it.

End of Flashback

That had been one of the single hardest days of her life, her mom had surprised her at one of the rallies and took her out to try and help bring her daughter back. It hadn't ended well, Rory got drunk and ended up cursing Logan's very name and then sobbing because she still loved him and why didn't he love her. 'Snap out of it Ror, he's probably married her already. Him being here is just coincidence nothing else' she told herself 'I have walked away twice from him.' Rory pondered that both times he stood stock still like if he moved she would vanish from his sight, like he was trying to memorize what she looked like just in case he never saw her again. For her job the latter was always a possibility there were other forces at play that could make something you have done numerous times end in serious injury or death, it was a gamble she played every day she was on the job. Rory kicked the water soaking the bottom of her dress as she walked even now, to far out rip current or undertow could catch and maybe someone would hear her but it was unlikely. How was this her life? How could one person still affect her so much after five years, they have been broke up for nearly twice as long as they had dated.

"Fuck!" She yelled turning and facing the ocean "why do you still have to haunt me?" that part was whispered along the wind as she felt the tears she kept back all night push to the surface, "why can't you just leave me alone and let me finish piecing my heart together?" Rory sighed sitting down, her knees drawn up to her chest. "Why do I still love you?" The tears finally fell, she was thankful for water proof makeup because at least her makeup would still be amazing. She had built a life, maybe not an extravagant life but it was hers. She rented a spacious apartment in Boston, had pictures on the walls, a stupid peace plant her mom had given her when she bought and Lucifer the demon cat she loved. Suzy was her best friend in Boston, and watched the demon cat when Rory had to leave for more then a couple days they went shopping together hung out in Stars Hallow for numerous of festivals. She was happy for the most part and the blind dates from her mom, Paris, Lane, Suzy and her grandparents had finally started slowing down. Rory didn't want to date, her job took her all over the Untied States plus overseas she was barely home for six months out of the year it's why none of her other relationships, if you could call them that, worked. Logan was right to not want to go backwards and Rory understood that but it still hurt that three years together suddenly gone and it still felt as if she was missing half of herself.

She grabbed her phone and opened her music app scrolling through till she found the perfect song to listen too. Chris Young started to sing through her phone speaker which sounded like it was trying to die.

No, I'm not hungover it's true, but I'm still not over you.
All messed up. All strung out. I was sitting at home breaking down.
Not out there getting high underneath some neon lights.
Ain't no whiskey strong enough to make things right.
I'm just getting over another sober Saturday night.

"You hate whiskey. You make this adorable face nose all scrunched up like someone told you had to eat vegetables." he said from behind causing her to jump and her phone to slide off into the sand.

"Dammit" she yelled placing a hand on her chest, "still not a fan of being surprised." Rory watched him sit next to her before turning her attention back to the water trying to ignore how she felt hyper aware their arms were almost brushing against each other. "What are doing out here Logan?" She sounded drained to herself and knew she should get up and just go back to the hotel room and sleep till her interview tomorrow but she was curious as to why he sought her out.

Late at night when all the world is sleeping.
I stay up and think of you.
And I wish on a star,
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

"I think your music is trying to read my mind." Logan joked trying to lighten the mood or at least cheer her up. He watched her, the moonlight encasing her in a soft light that almost made her glow.

Rory smiled softly, "It hates me in that regard. I heard this one night and almost threw my phone out the window, but I was in a ten story building. Could you imagine the headlines: Person Dead! Cell phone was the cause! It would be embarrassing for the person and me."

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

"You know, I tried calling you about two weeks after I walked away" he started, dragging a knee up to his chest "I knew" he paused swallowing hard "I knew I had messed up again and knew I could buy you your own personal array of coffee carts that it wouldn't be enough to make up for how badly I had fucked up this time."

"Logan-" she started

"You said your piece Ace" he heard the slight breath she sucked in at her nickname and watched her "I was shocked to hear you had already changed you number. I knew it was my fault, but I had hoped that maybe you would give me just a little bit of faith to get over myself long enough. It was Finn was reminded me you gave me two weeks after I chose nothing then preceded to get me drunk. The first few months were hard I tried going back to who I was before you, sleeping with a different girl every day. It didn't work, I felt hollow and empty. The thing with Cadence was misinformation; yes I said we were engaged but to protect her till her actually fiance could make an appearance. She had a stalker, dangerous sort stalker that had been following her everywhere the night of the party I happened a crossed it and asked him what the fuck he was doing with my fiance. Should have made sure no ears where around but in the end it worked, Colin got to marry his super girl and have it be a small ceremony that they wanted I get left alone because they think it's a long engagement."

"Colin? Your Colin? I can't picture him married" Rory laughed her head turned towards him.

Logan reached over rubbing his thumb under her eye to wipe away the tear track she had. "Yeah the very same one apparently I started a trend. Theirs said yes but I get where I made the mistake. They've just asked, me I jumped the gun and lost the one woman I love, the only one I am capable of loving who has become this hotshot report who jumps out of planes, off of bridges and the base jumps though I think that one was the one I lost the most sleep on. You needed the time to grow, and so I did. You knew that and just placed the blame on yourself you couldn't see us lasting."

"Logan" she set her hand on his where it was still resting on her cheek thumb brushing over her cheek his hand was warm "I loved you I just wanted time to grow in ways you did through college, find my own place in the world and you know, constantly prove Mitchum wrong is always fun. I never needed time to explore any other romantic entanglements. You are it for me, you were it for me then, you are it for me now. As much as it kills me most days I still love you." She didn't always putting all her cards on the table but sometimes it was a necessary risk even if the risk meant shattering her own heart again.

Logan watched her, noticing the way she had braced herself, the tears in her eyes lingering on the surface making her eyes appear this deep sadden blue. "My way is not working for me anymore, I need you in my life more then I need air to breath, food to survive" his voice sounded hoarse and this vulnerability was scaring him but she laid it on the line for him and fair was fair. "I don't want anyone else, you captured my heart and never gave it back Rory. You are the love of my life, the one person who believes in me even when you were pissed at me you told me how proud of me you were. I love you Ace now, tomorrow, five more years from now isn't going to change that."