Chapter 4: Finally knowing
By: Miss. Writes-it-all
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It took a moment to register my surroundings.
I had to blink to get the white blur of the muggle hospital from my view.
The contrast from the muggle hospital and a wizarding hospital was quite clear at that moment, especially after the near panic caused by the young boy that lay very still in my arms.
Immediately after the shift in the world had rightened itself, I was only mildly shocked to find a waiting bed to lay Potter down in as well as several medical witches and wizards awaiting to hear of his condition.
I quickly overcame the shock of it all and informed the staff of the boy's condition.
"The boy has been induced with muggle anesthetics and he is slowly dying as we speak."
My words rendered the lot of them into action quickly escorting us to a private room to the side which expanded the moment the first witch stepped over the threshold.
None of them spoke for a moment only assessing this boy's careful condition.
Many potions would surely be involved, I thought vaguely all the while watching their every action taken on this boy who had possibly taken too much and simply given in to his ever pressing darkness.
I could only wish otherwise, this boy needed to survive this, to come out on top.
I couldn't help but feel a slight sense of hope upon seeing the process however slight being made to this situation.
I also realized the boy had all but taken my mind's train of thought since I found him immensely injured. Only now could my mind travel elsewhere probably due to the new-found hope, that or the fact that I was no longer alone in this eventful occurrence.
I now had Albus who I knew would help take care of everything as well.
For the first time I thought of all that had happened so far and tried in vain to decipher how I know felt for James's-and Lily's son.
'My hate for him has gone on for far too long to simply feel sympathetic towards him, nor could I hate him for his arrogance and pitiful adoration from his relatives- however now I know were non-existent.'
'Perhaps I could say I felt mutual in my feelings towards him now, but I would not know exactly how I will feel until he awakens- if he awakens that is, I thought bitterly.'
It will surely be a bitter-sweet moment for me if-when he does finally awaken and speak to us once again, whether he wishes to speak to me or not.
If he does awaken there will be much to answer to not only for him, but for all of us as well as there may be some problems with his relatives now-particularly one Vernon Dursley.
I had all but forgiven Petunia and who son considering the circumstances under which they lived
I can honestly say I don't know what I would do were I to meet face-to-face with him again. I could not fell much of anything that night I first meet the large man who at the time had merely wished to further harm his nephew.
I suppose I should hate him not Potter, but I could not simply bury years of animosity however wrong it may have been.
I was snapped from my deeply-implanted thoughts when I heard voices speaking to Albus and I from a near-distance.
I looked up and realized one of the doctors who had been working on Potter was speaking.
His dark eyes showed a unique kindness behind them when he spoke to us behind his tan complexion.
"We will simply have to see- if he makes it through the night then I would bet he could make a physical recovery that is, however mentally… well from what I have heard it must be tough for such a young kid to go through."
"All I ask you two to do is be there for him, though I'm sure you already had that in mind's eye."
"Oh yes of course." Albus responded casting a worry-filled look to Harry.
"If you wish you may spend the night here-he could wake at anytime, but I must warn you not to take this as a false hope." The man then hesitantly continued.
"He may never wake up."
His eyes showed an immense sadness at these words though his voice conveyed well hidden emotion.
I'm sure with a job like his these types of situations unfortunately were quite frequent however advanced the wizarding world was in this field.
That did not however make them easier to bear.
"I'm sorry, but it's always possible…I'll just leave you to it then." With that he turned and walked away, his staff following closely behind each giving us reassuring glances and sympathetic smiles before retreating.
I then slowly unsheathed my wand and turned conjuring a rounded armchair and pillow and sat suddenly extremely tired and ready to finally sleep.
At this point I could care less of proper decorum.
I watched as Albus matched my own tired expression only his wizened features made him look a bit sick and slightly pale as well.
If I were to say I was not even slightly worried for Albus- Potter as well, well then I would be lying.
Even my Slytherin traits could not hide that fact it would be a lie.
"Albus" I began slowly fighting through my exhaustion "Go get some sleep I will stay." He looked down-right defeated.
"You will call me when he awakens?" He inquired softly.
"Of course," was my equally quiet reply.
Without another word he stood wearily and within seconds he was gone. The soft wind that licked my face only relaxed my tired muscles more and I felt my eyes slowly drifting close.
The last comprehendible thought I remembered before I fell asleep was, 'I hope Potter is awake when I awaken- tomorrow.'
Moments later I drifted into a welcomed sleep my last sights of the boy seemingly sleeping in his bed, in the darkness of the quiet room.
ss
It's a bit different, I slowly realize, but I know it's real.
The edges are frayed a vague and unimportant fact at the moment, I thought and quickly turned to more important matters.
Surely there was-something important, but it was quiet, strangely quiet.
I seemed as though my thoughts echoed outside my mind's well constructed walls.
I watched in relief at the boy who lay asleep in his bed seemingly unaware of my presence though I expected no less.
I waited for something to happen as if that was all there was to do. I was perfectly fine with it though.
Suddenly something shifted and everything flew out of proportion all at once.
I felt a difference in the air or some sort of unforeseen substance I could not quite place.
I only watched as if feeling I should wait.
Suddenly Albus walked in, his face impassive, though his eyes dark.
Immediately I went to him concerned at his appearance. I had never seen him like this before. I frightened me considerably.
Anyone who has ever known Albus would know that no sight had ever adorned the older man's face, not even in the worst of circumstances like Voldemort's war raging ever present in many life.
Not even when he asked me to spy for Voldemort.
He looked at me with an immense sadness in his eyes and I could not help but wonder why.
"Severus- Harry is dead, he died in his sleep last night." "I thought you ought to know."
I was shocked into silence though by how little emotion he displayed in his words only his eyes held sadness.
No this was not true, it could not be he was right there he looked like he was sleeping-merely sleeping.
"Albus what are you talking about Potter is –right there…wait where did he go?" and he will not return
"He is gone Severus- he was speaking in his sleep moments before he died." "He was speaking Severus- speaking to you."
I missed him speaking to me- to anyone for the last time? No this could not possibly be, but I felt the pain should I not feel the pain if it weren't.
"No Albus-this is impossible, it is…" Albus' expression though cut off my remaining words, his eyes boring into mine.
"He said good-bye Severus- he said Good-bye." Albus now shed tears of a glistening white and cried continuously and mercilessly until he to disappeared and I was alone or so I thought.
The floorboard creaked softly next to Potter's bed when I looked up I was shocked to meet Potter's eyes which looked dead and they stared deeply, blankly into mine.
His face was a deep shade of an unnatural blue hue and his hands shook unsteadily. His mouth widened only no words were produced, his jaw now slackened, hanging loosely.
He stood though he looked the picture of death and I found myself unable to move afraid if I did he would act as well.
This was the only time I can ever say I was afraid to act against Potter.
His features changed suddenly and his skin darkened and his eyes became inscribed into his bone hardening around the rim, a deep scarlet color staining the skin on the side of his lip.
His eyes showed a sudden sadness though only momentarily before I watched in horror as they became inflamed in hate pointed directly towards me.
He did not advance merely held my gaze as a cold overcame my insides as though several dementors had entered the room with every intention to suck out my soul, and I shivered violently.
My physical actions caused Potter to move as I watched in extreme unease.
Though he did not advance a step, no instead he crumbled, limbs sprawling in a final attempt to compose himself before failing.
His head hit first the floor and a horrific sight overcame me as a desperation filled his eyes before his skull connected sharply to the hard floor below and all turned to a dark dust, his entire body following shortly after.
There was nothing left to claim the boy- who-lived had died and crumbled in this spot except the few dust particles the recent reoccurring wind had yet to disturb.
The wind that had suddenly appeared without a warning, the wind that held my screams of horror at the sight I just witnessed, the image forever ingrained in my mind.
Potter the boy I swore to protect, dead and I unable to do anything but sit and watch, helpless.
This time it was different, there was no way to bring him back, no way. As the cold gently pulled me down, I closed my eyes and awaited my own end.
Then everything turned dark as I sat up and wiped what I had thought would be blood from my forehead, only to find it as sweat instead.
My heartbeat was erratic and I felt sick as I felt it pounding loudly and violently to the inside of my chest. My breathing only coming in short rasps of air and I felt my hands shaking spasmodically.
I pulled my wand when I realized I was still in the hospital room in St. Mungo's, but felt slightly more reassured when a natural light streamed through an open window lighting the room and announcing the start of the day.
I was alone in the room with only Potter as company.
My eyes followed the lights rays as they hit Potter's faint colored face and I steeled myself for anything to come, but was relieved when a spell cast on the boy reassured me that he had survived through the long night, and I through mine.
I pulled my chair carefully to prevent any sound closer to the boy if not hesitantly still expecting him to disappear again.
I slowed my heartbeat and sighed trying to calm my sporadic nerves. With an added gentleness to my touch I slowly lifted my still shaking hand and placed it gently against his cheek, taking in his still too pale features.
My hands then trailed hesitantly down to his chest hoping these spells were accurate as I pressed my ear next to his chest and with new found relieve listened for a peace-filled moment to his calm heartbeat.
After the night I had experienced I knew I could not let Potter die, not after he survived so long on his own throughout all of this.
I sighed knowing now it had only been a dream, none of it had actually happened, thankfully enough though I did wonder why I would dream of such a thing especially knowing it had been Potter he had dreamed about in such a horrific way.
Now feeling calmer than he had since Albus had come for him in his rooms at Hogwarts he relaxed back into his armchair with a deep sigh simply staring at the boy who had come so close to leaving everything behind too many times already.
'He looks more at peace as well' I thought openly still taking in his features, and feeling as though this boy would recover from this ordeal.
Though something odd caught my eye as I looked over him for any extra bumps or bruises they may have neglected to cure upon trying to revive him.
In a panic I brushed the fringe from his forehead and sucked in a breath at the sight I beheld.
Upon his small forehead lay his legendary scar given to him by He-who-must-not-be-named cut lightly on the left side of his face. Though what left me in angered shock was the identical one that was marring his skin on the opposite side of his forehead.
It was obviously cut by something sharp and looked out of place on his pale skin, the red, irritated skin raised and hackled around the cut. It seemed a recent cut by the looks it gave, and I knew who had done it- Vernon Dursley.
The man who was supposed to care for the boy though that was obviously not the case. Albus would need to know about this and I planned to put that man behind bars for the rest of his miserable life, and longer.
No human should be capable of hurting a child. To do so is an inhuman act to hurt a child in such a way.
I tenderly traced the scars path on skin feeling immense sadness knowing how this child must have felt going through that and as I was pulling my hand away eyes I had never thought would open again, opened and stared at me transfixed, and confusion filled the pupils they held.
I knew that Potter must know I had seen the damage by the hurt look that slowly replaced the confusion.
