Hey guys! I'm back with Chapter Four!

Thanks to:

Rusher Driver

winterschild11

KiBoy

And a special thanks to Anonymous Skrtle and ButterYUM for helping me up when I was down. You guys don't realize how much your kind words and advice help me. Just thank you so much for everything you guys have done. Without all the support and love from you guys, I probably wouldn't be where I am today. So thank you.

DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN BIG TIME RUSH!

And remember that constructive criticism is always welcome, but please remember to be nice about it. I'm human too, with feelings and the things you say can hurt my feelings.

Chapter Four

What It's Like

"Big brother, why do you keep looking over your shoulder?"

Kendall was brought back to reality at the sound of his little sister's voice. He'd been so preoccupied in his thoughts and walking Katie home that he'd unconsciously ignored her.

"Because, since I left Logan's I kept having the strangest feeling like someone was following me, but every time I turned around there was no one there!"

Katie shrugged and Kendall shook it off. He was definitely losing his mind.

Kendall looked at his sister and sighed. "You know Mom's going to kill you for getting all muddy, right?" He warned, not really realizing that he'd changed the subject.

Katie shrugged. "Kendall, why won't you tell me about that boy at the park? He was mean and I want to help!"

He could swear that sometimes Katie was worse than Carlos with all of the badgering she'd been doing.

When Kendall didn't reply, she sighed, just about ready to give up. She couldn't understand why so many people were being mean to her big brother. First the kid that Carlos was asking about, then-?

She stopped, her eyes becoming wide with realization.

"That was him, wasn't it?" she muttered in a low voice; she wondered if Kendall could even hear what she'd said.

Her question was answered when Kendall turned around and stared at Katie with a blank expression. "What?"

Katie looked up at him; her expression transforming dramatically from shock, to anger to disappointment in a matter of seconds. "That's the kid; the one who was messing with you, wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah but-?" Kendall stopped, backpedalling when he realized just who he was talking to. "Wait a minute- how did you know about that?"

Upon realizing she was about to get caught, Katie tried to backpedal too. "Well I-uh- heard you talking about it. In your sleep." Smooth. She reprimanded herself for lying- and badly at that- the last thing she wanted was for Kendall to think that she was some kind of weirdo that watched him while he slept. She would have sighed in relief when she found that Kendall seemed to be buying the lie for now, but that would have given it away that she was lying. As Kendall turned back around and proceeded to walk down the nearly deserted sidewalk, Katie tried again. "So who is he, anyway? And why is he messing with you?"

Kendall groaned in exasperation. He threw his head back, running his fingers through his hair before looking back at his little sister. "Katie, for the last time, he was no one! Besides, what could you do to help? He's bigger than both of us put together!"

Katie, who seemed to be taken back, continued hesitantly. "I-I could tell Mom; she said we aren't supposed to keep secrets from her and she could talk to his mom and-?"

Kendall stopped dead in his tracks, spinning around so faced that he feared that he would have whiplash. He stepped in front of Katie, halting her mid-step, glaring daggers down at the preschooler.

"No," he began darkly, wagging a finger in the younger girl's face like she was a dog who had just barked at nothing. "you cannot say a word about that to anyone."

"But-?" Katie tried to protest, but before she could say anything, she was cut off by Kendall.

"No! Listen to me, Katie, you are not to tell Mom about this, understand?"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm handling it on my own! I don't need my four-year-old sister fighting my battles!"

Katie's face displayed a mixture of hurt, fear, and worry as she stared up at her brother with big pleading eyes. But Kendall's expression was like stone, refusing to be altered in the slightest- not even by his baby sister's cute, yet frightening, eyes.

Katie was very smart for her age- most four year olds were too innocent to understand what was going on. But Katie did and she had never seen anything like this in her whole life... Well, at least not in real life; only in TV shows; and when the bully was mean to the hero on TV, they would always told an adult. So why didn't Kendall want people to know? Was he embarrassed? Was it his pride?

"Katie," her big brother's voice brought her back from her thoughts. She looked up at his solemn face and instantly knew what Kendall was thinking.

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. "N-no."

"Yes."

"No." Katie fired more forcefully, shaking her head more furiously.

"Yes," Kendall flared back, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. "Katie I want you to pinkie swear." He ordered, holding his hand out with his extended pinkie for her to take.

Instead, she crossed her arms defiantly. "No!" she emphasized the word and made sure to punctuate clearly. She even stomped her foot for good measure.

"Do it or you'll never be allowed in my room,"

"So?"

Kendall continued as if she'd never spoken. "I'll never let you play with my toys again..."

"Oh, please." Katie scoffed, seemingly unfazed.

Kendall would have glared, but an idea popped into his head and left a wicked grin on his face. "AND, I'll tell mom about the online poker."

Katie's eyes suddenly were like saucers; big and wide and full of fear. Katie had watched her mother playing online once and somehow managed to figure out how to play. She loved it, but never told her mom; she was afraid that if she did, her mother might not let her play.

"You wouldn't."

Kendall laughed humorously. "Try me, pal! If you ever want to play it again, I suggest you pinkie swear now that you won't say anything to Mom."

"Okay." Katie grumbled. She sighed and looked down at her feet.

"Say it,"

"Say what?"

"Don't play dumb! Promise that you won't tell nobody."

"Darn it!" she figured that she would just say ok- that would mean that she never necessarily agreed to anything, right?

Katie sighed, preparing to say what Kendall had told her to say what her mother had told her to say. But she paused...there was something about the way he said it way he said it. It sounded strange. "Wait, what did you say?"

"Say 'I pinkie swear I won't tell nobody.'" Kendall said; by the sound of his voice, she could tell his patience were wearing thin.

Katie arched an eyebrow, confused. "I... I pinkie swear that I won't tell nobody." She repeated him perfectly, then she snapped her tongue, resisting the urge to scrunch up her nose when the words came out. It didn't sound like she was saying it right; but she just couldn't put her finger on what was wrong.

She tried to shrug it off when they walked down the street, him leading the way and her following sluggishly behind.

He noticed her sudden silence and wondered if he had maybe been a bit too hard on her. He shook it off; deciding that he would talk to her later after everything was back to normal as he and Katie made it to the front door. Before opening the door, Kendall made sure to look his sister square in the eye, making sure that he saw the seriousness in his eyes, making sure that she understood full and clear to not say a word to mom.

When he was certain that he'd gotten his point across, he went to grab the doorknob when she stopped him.

"You better be right about this." she muttered, and with that he pushed the door open and they slipped inside.

"Hey guys; you're back from the park early!" Mrs. Knight called as she came to the door.

"Mommy!" Katie squealed as she ran and jumped into her mother's arms.

"Hi, sweetie!" Mrs. Knight cooed as she lifted her youngest up off her feet and held her close. She pulled away from the hug just long enough to look her over; needless to say, she wasn't the least bit happy about what she was seeing. "Katie, you're covered in mud! Didn't I tell you you could go to the park with Sam if you stay out of the mud puddles.

Sam was the son of the next door neighbor; he had all but begged Mrs. Knight to allow Katie to accompany him on a trip to the park. She'd agreed on two conditions; that Kendall was to pick Katie up and bring her home after an hour and that Katie steered clear of the mud puddles.

"Yes, but the mud was so much fun and I just had to jump in it!"

Mrs. Knight sighed, looking down at her own newly, mud stained clothes. "Well it looks like its bath night." She said with a humorless chuckle. She looked down at Kendall, who had yet to say a single word since they walked in. "What about you, Kendall? How was Logan's house?"

Kendall looked up, trying hard to mask the look of fear in his eyes with a reassuring smile. "Fine." He said, nodding his head. Then, without another word, he turned on his heel and shuffled towards the stairs.

"Where you going, buddy?" His mother called after him, concern evident in her voice.

With a sigh, he stopped halfway up the stairs, turning to look at her face. "To my room." he answered simply, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm-uh- tired." He wasn't lying; the whole ordeal with Anthony had left him a little weary.

"Oh." she mumbled, taken back by the answer. She chanced a glance at her watch and then up at her son. It was still pretty early yet; normally, the only time either of her kids wanted to go to bed early was if something were wrong. She silently shook off the feeling that Kendall wasn't telling the hold truth and tried her best to smile at her oldest son. "Um, ok. Keep your door open and I'll call you for dinner."

"Got it." He mumbled. He trudged up the stairs, listening as Katie began to talk.

"Mommy! I have to tell you something! It's real important!"

He assumed she was going to talk about something stupid like a butterfly she found; in a four year old's mind that kind of stuff is important.

Kendall pushed his bedroom door open, dragging his feet as he maneuvered around his scattered clothes and discarded toys to get to his bed. He checked the phone in his room and saw that he had missed several calls, a great majority of them from Carlos.

He sighed; he hated how much he was worrying his young friend. He placed his phone back on the dresser next to his bed, making a mental note to call them later.

he lied down on his bed and thought about everything that had happened.

He thought about Anthony and how he picked on him in front of his own sister. He thought about his friends and how worried they were before he left. He thought about Katie, and how she'd found out about everything that was happening.

Kendall sighed in a fit of frustration. "Unbelievable! What else could go wrong!" He huffed as he threw back his covers and laid his head down on his pillow, wondering how things had gotten so out of hand. With that thought in his mind, he closed his eyes and drifted off into a much needed sleep.

Kendall pumped a handful of soap into his hands. Gosh, this is the last time I chug two waters before class! Carlos had dared him to do it, and being the stubborn kid that he was, he ignored Logan when he advised him not to and guzzled it down... only to really have to go to the bathroom fifteen minutes later. He was incredibly lucky that the teacher had let him go, otherwise there would have been some problems in Ms. Olson's fifth grade class.

He shuttered at the memory of running as fast as he could to the bathroom as he lathered his hands and carefully turned on the faucet. He tried to scrub his hands as well he could, getting his knuckles and making sure his palms were squeaky clean. He remembered not being able to stop the chuckle in his throat as he thought about how much he sounded like Logan.

He looked at the mirror, checked his hair- a habit he picked up from James- and did his signature hair flip. When he was sure that he was composed enough to go back to class, he shut off the water and shook his hands over the sink.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a slam coming from right outside the bathroom door. He let out a small squeak of fear when he heard someone on the other side yelling. What the heck?! Unfortunately, he let his curiosity get the better of him. He snatched up a piece of paper toweling, dried his hands, and tossed it into the garbage bin.

He slowly pushed the bathroom door open and peeked out. His eyes practically bulged out of their sockets! He couldn't believe what he was seeing!

There stood Anthony. Even though the boy was only a year older than Kendall, the eleven year old boy still stood about a foot taller than him, easily towering over him. Anthony's thick eyebrows were knitted together in anger, but his eyes were wild with amusement. He sneered at the smaller boy; he could see Anthony's yellow teeth were bared together inside his mouth.

Anthony was a bully; not only was the biggest, most terrifying bully he'd ever met in his life, but he was also the captain of the hockey team. Anthony was known for his bullying tactics- some of the kids he went to school with changed classes because of him, some even moved to different schools because they didn't want to be bothered by him!

Anthony must have found himself a new victim and - by the looks of it- was holding him by the collar of his shirt up against the lockers.

Kendall shook his head to clear his thoughts, watching helplessly as the bully held the younger, defenseless boy up by the collar of his shirt. The other continued to scream words that seemed incoherent to Kendall. The whole world seemed to be moving in slow motion as he stepped a little further out the bathroom. He felt his heart drop into his stomach and he froze, unable to look away at the scene taking place right in front of his face.

Kendall didn't know what to do; should he go and find a teacher to come and break up the fight? What if he couldn't get to one in time? What if Anthony hurt this kid before he'd have a chance to get him help? Surely, he couldn't just stand there! He had to do something and fast!

SLAM! Kendall found himself cringing as the sound erupted in his ears. The poor victim had been jerked about like a rag doll until finally he was slammed into a locker door. Kendall felt his limbs tightening up as he made a move to step in; nothing in his body would cooperate with him. Not his mind, not his arms, not his legs. All he could do was stand there and watch. Kendall felt his heart getting lodged in his throat as he watched Anthony raise a hand to strike.

Suddenly, before he had time to react, Kendall was in the air, jumping in front of the fightened little kid. He'd somehow managed to weasel himself in between the bully and his victim, shoving Anthony away. The bigger, bulkier boy stumbled back in shock, his eyes growing dark as he realized just who had pushed him. Kendall's hands were raised high above his head as a signal to stop. Luckily, he'd managed to halt the boy mid punch.

Everyone froze.

No one dared to move a muscle as Anthony and Kendall glared at each other. Kendall could hear the smaller boy whimpering behind him. Instinct told him to turn around and console him, but Kendall didn't dare try it; he didn't know if Anthony would try anything sneaky like punching him while he wasn't looking. So he stood fearlessly in front of the boy, waiting for someone to make the next move.

"Well, well, well," the mere sound of his voice sent a chill down Kendall's spine, but he refused to let it show. "look what he have here, Knight's trying to be the hero," Anthony sneered at them, exposing his stained, yellow teeth.

"L-Leave him a-alone." Kendall cringed, wishing his voice would have come out more intimidating than that. Luckily, while Anthony was distracted, the smaller boy had taken this as an opportunity to struggle free and run.

"Hey! Get back here you little-?" Anthony had gone to chase after the smaller boy, but Kendall bravely blocked his path.

"Hey, leave him alone, man! He didn't do anything to you!"

"You're going to regret that, Knight!"

Every fiber in Kendall's body urged him to run and for once, his body complied with his wishes. He wheeled himself around Anthony before he could have time to grab him and took off in a sprint down the hall. He was hoping that Anthony would just give up and leave them both alone. Boy had he been wrong...

He had managed to make it about halfway down the hallway when a dark and sinister voice nearly made him freeze. "Get back here! You're dead; you hear me? DEAD!"

Kendall released the scream he had lodged in the backing his throat and sprang forward, fear fueling his every step.

Kendall's lungs were on fire. He looked up and he could swear that the class at the end of the hall was drifting further and further away.

Before he had time to think, a hand shot out and he was seized by the back of the shirt and yanked to a halt. His mind was racing a million miles a minute as he tried to get free. With little effort he was spun around and slammed into a locker door. His back cried in agony and wished more than anything to have Carlos' helmet on his head. He grimaced, not daring to scream out. Kendall's breath caught as he looked down and found he was pinned about a foot off the ground. He clasped his hands around the boy's hands, which were holding him effortlessly off the ground, not really able to do anything else at the moment.

"When I tell you to stop, you stop! Got it?" He snarled, getting so close that he and Kendall were practically nose to nose.

"Y-Yeah, s-sure! I-I got it! Now just please let me go!" Kendall trembled in fear as he pleaded.

Anthony let out a loud, hearty laugh; cackling as if Kendall had just told him the funniest joke he'd ever heard. He tossed him to the ground and Kendall yelped as his back collided with the ground.

Kendall tried to scoot away from him, but Anthony- none to gently- stepped on his stomach to keep him from getting away. He couldn't stop himself from wheezing as the wind was knocked out of him. "Anthony, stop! Let me go!"

"No, I don't think I'm going to do that, Knight. I think you're going to pay."

"W-What are you going to do to me?" Kendall asked, even though he really didn't want to know.

"You're going to wish you didn't do that, Knight. You're going to wish that you had just minded your own business." Anthony hissed, taking his foot off the boy's stomach and taking a baby step back.

Kendall, unsure of what was happening, pondered what he meant by "pay". What was Anthony going to do? Then it hit him. But it hit him too late and before he could even have time to think, pain shot through his stomach, then his chest. Kendall gasped as air slowly filtered out of his lungs. Tears stung in his eyes as Anthony punched his stomach and chest repeatedly. Suddenly, a boney fist collided with the side of her head, then again to his legs and arms. He cried out in pain as a fist came crashing into the side of his head again.

Kendall tried his best to protect himself, but the fists were coming all at once and by the time he could get his hands up to his face to block one blow, another one was coming at his stomach, and then his face again! They were just too fast!

"Alright, man, I think you've had enough."

Kendall was breathing hard. His entire body hurt; he didn't even know it was possible to feel so much pain; and that was saying something considering that Kendall was in hockey and had suffered through all kinds of pain.

His dazed mind was not prepared for him to be lifted up off his feet and slammed against something hard. He glanced over her shoulder and found that she had been slammed against a class room door. He bit his lip and instinctively brought his hands up to Anthony's, unsure of what to do.

Kendall cringed as Anthony glared deep into his eyes. Kendall could see that there was nothing but anger, rage and spite deep in the orbs of the bully. Kendall wanted to struggle to get free, but he knew better than to try. "Next time, I'm not going to go so easy on you." He growled, once again throwing the poor, injured boy onto the ground. "And you tell anyone about what happened here today, you'll be sorry."

Kendall was into much a shock to even dare to move. If that was going easy, he didn't even want to know what it would have been like Anthony wouldn't have held back.

Then with one finally kick to the stomach, Anthony straightened his shirt and stalked down the hallway. As Anthony disappeared down the hall, Kendall carefully forced himself back to his feet. He chewed on his lip, his entire body hurt terribly from the senseless beating he'd just received. He attempted to walk himself back to class; he fumbled a bit, but managed to keep his balance. He figured that maybe later he could get Logan to fix him up when they got home.

Kendall sat up with a start. His eyes darted around and he quickly came to realize that he was back in room. Anthony wasn't there, he wasn't hurt anymore and he was safe now.

"It's just a dream. Just a dream." he muttered to himself, but he knew he was lying to himself. Because it wasn't just a dream. It was much more than that. It was real.

Kendall remembered all the times the boys would sleep over. Since they were kids, they always thought they were tough enough to handle scary movies. Consequently, one of them always ended up waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. James was older, so he knew better from experience. Logan was smart and was usually able to talk through his own nightmares. Carlos was the youngest, sensitive, most innocent and he was the most gullible. So often times, it was Carlos who had nightmares. Carlos always liked to come to Kendall when he had nightmares at sleepovers, claiming that it was a death sentence to try to wake up James or Logan early. So when Kendall would hold Carlos and explain to his youngest friend that dreams couldn't hurt him and that they were fake, Carlos would fall asleep with a smile on his face, knowing Kendall was right.

But he couldn't even tell himself that.

The knock on the door made Kendall jump. "Kendall?" a small voice called from the other side. Kendall could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he sat up in his bed. He looked up at the clock beside his bed and realized that he'd been out for about an hour.

Kendall suddenly felt panic erupt in the pit of his stomach. He'd been out for a whole hour! He hadn't stirred or woken up since he fell asleep! What if someone had walked in on him during his nightmare? What if his mom figured that something was wrong? What if Katie told her while he was asleep? What if-?

"Kendall!" his paranoid ramblings were interrupted by his mother calling again.

Kendall quickly swallowed the lump forming in his throat and forced back the quiver in his voice. "Yeah Mom?"

He could hear his mother sighing in relief before continuing. "Hey Big Man! Dinner time!"

Kendall sighed and forced himself out of bed. He dragged his feet as he walked over to where his mother was waiting. When he opened the door, his mother smiled down at him, and he tried his hardest to smile back. He then followed his mother down stairs.

Katie was already seated when Mrs. Knight and Kendall arrived at the table, chewing away at her dinosaur chicken nuggets. When Kendall sat down beside her, Katie gave him a cheeky grin. "Did you have a nice nap, Kendall?" she asked, her voice coming out muffled with her mouth full of nugget.

Kendall scrunched up his nose in disgust, but answered anyway. "Naps are for babies. I was just resting my eyes."

Katie rolled her eyes. "In other words, napping."

Kendall playfully glared at her. "Hey, shut up Katie-Cat!"

Katie sat up on her knees, slamming her hands on the table. "You first, Ken-doll."

"That's enough!" Mrs. Knight chided, and they both instantly settled down. Mrs. Knight set the plate of chicken nuggets in front to Kendall, who simply frowned and started picking at the food rather than eating it.

"Mom, there's something I need to tell you." Katie said, drawing her mother's attention as she set down her fork.

"What is it, sweetie? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know. And what I need to tell you is..." She trailed of as her gaze lingered back to her brother, who's eyes shown with both an angered, yet pleading expression.

You promised. He mouthed, shaking his head over so slightly.

She shook her head, snapping her head back to her mother's worried gaze. "Is that..."

She tried not to look at her brother, staring intently at their mother instead. But Kendall's eyes were drilling into her skull, making it hard for to breathe. She was so nervous that she just blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Is that I play online poker!"

Kendall's eyes widened. Now there was nothing stopping her from telling his secret.

"You play what?"

"Online poker. I saw you playing it once and I couldn't help it. It looked like so much fun. I'm sorry." There was a long awkward silence as they waited for someone to speak.

"Well, that's a new one." Mrs. Knight muttered. "I suppose there's no harm done, but just don't play it when Mommy's not in the room, ok?"

Katie hated herself for chickening out. She really wanted to tell the truth so that she could get Kendall help, but she didn't want her big brother to hate her for it.

As she silently chewed away at her nuggets, waiting for someone to speak, Katie prayed that Kendall would see how good it would make him feel to get it off his chest.

It was a stretch, but it was worth a try.

With a look of concern, she sat down on the other side of the table. "Kendall, is there something bothering you?" she asked gently, her voice laced with worry.

Kendall looked up from his plate and met his mother's eyes. "No, I don't think so." he replied, shaking his head. He looked back at his plate and picked up fork, pushing the corn around.

"Are you sure, buddy?"

Kendall threw down his fork in frustration. "Yeah mom, I'm fine. Who told you I wasn't?"

"No one." she answered, a little too quickly for Kendall's liking. He watched her eyes unconsciously shifted to the small girl sitting next to him and, with a sinking feeling in his gut, wondered that maybe Katie had told already after she promised she wouldn't. Kendall shook it off, knowing Katie would never defy him and his wishes. "You've just been out of it for weeks now." she continued, drawing his attention back to her. "I barely see you anymore, and you've been pensive and-?"

"Pensive? What's that mean?"

"Pensive means thoughtful Kendall."

There was a long silence as Kendall let everything being said to him sink in. He shook his head to clear it and tried hard not to sound annoyed as he began to talk. "Mom, you're a really caring person; and that's one of the things I love about you. And I know you badger me because you care, but I'm fine. Look at me. I'm fine."

When Kendall saw that his mother still didn't look very convinced, he sighed. He took one big bite of his chicken nugget, washed it down with a swig of his milk, then hopped down from the table without another word. Mrs. Knight and Katie didn't dare try to stop him. They listened as his footsteps retreated up the stairs and back towards his room, when they confirmed he was heading when they heard his door closing.

When she was certain that Kendall was out of earshot, Katie sighed. She really hoped that her big brother would open up to their mother and let her know what was going on. She knew that with how stubborn Kendall could be that that was probably never going to happen. She wished that she could just tell their mother herself, but alas she promised not to tell, and everyone knows that you can never ever break a promise.

Suddenly her face lit up...

Kendall made her promise not to tell NOBODY... that meant she was not telling nobody... Doesn't that mean that she had to tell somebody? And Mom was definitely a somebody...

She grinned to herself. Oh how she loved loop holes!

"Mom!" she yelled suddenly, shocking her out of her thoughts. Katie grinned sheepishly, lowering her voice a bit. She had to tell her; at least that what she told herself when that sinking feeling returned in the pit of her stomach. It was the right thing to do. "I have something to tell you... It's about Kendall..."

Well? What do you think? Did you like it? Hate it? Whatever you're thinking, let me know in the reviews, or maybe a PM. If you have any suggestions, thoughts, comments, let me know; I wasn't to know what you guys are thinking.

Well, that's it for now. Until next time, remember:

Keep reading, keep smiling, keep laughing, keep living! :)

Peace, Love and Happiness!

-BrittSmiles4BTR