Calvin and Hobbes, meanwhile, had gotten a scooter of their own and were on their way to Wal-Mart to find Jason and Marcus and bring them back to camp. And if they found Charlie Brown, that would be alright, too.

"Okay," said Calvin, "we find them, I say I'm sorry, and we go home."

Hobbes narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to tell them the whole truth?"

"Uh...if I have to, yeah. But it probably won't come to that, right? Right. Let's roll, Hobbes!"

As they sped down the road, Hobbes wondered to himself, "Whatever happened to all those villains we were fighting...?"

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Almost two hours later, Jason and Marcus were still hiding in the clothing rack. It had been almost humble, a home. Well, as much home as a clothing rack can provide. Still, they both knew they had to leave sometime. After all, shirts are hard to digest if one has to reduce their diets to strictly clothing items.

"Do you think they're still out there?" whispered Jason.

"I don't know," Marcus whispered back. "Why don't you check?"

Jason stubbornly refused. "Hey, it was my idea to hide. Someone needs to think about responsibilities."

"We could flip a coin," suggested Marcus.

"I'm broke."

"Gee, you sure had money for that Gamecube game!"

"Well," reasoned Jason, "you can't flip a dollar bill! There. I win. You look."

At that moment, Charlie Brown stuck his head in, to their surprise. "Uh...guys? The Kankers are sort of out here right now, listening. It's pretty interesting, but you should probably run."

Before they could, two pairs of arms (belonging to May and Marie) shot in through the shirts and yanked the startled boys out. May squeezed Marcus. "Look what we found, girls!" she giggled.

Marie tossed Jason over her shoulder. "Let's find a warm, cozy, place to kiss 'em!"

"Wasn't the point of this to make the Eds jealous?" asked Jason.

Lee shrugged. "It's more of a principal thing now."

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Meanwhile, Calvin and Hobbes finally reached the Wal-Mart entrance. Unfortunately, it was a pretty big store.

"Where do you think they would be?" asked Calvin, scanning the isles.

"Probably with the video games," said Hobbes.

"Okay, let's find them and...Hey!" Calvin's eyes lit up. "A gumball machine! And me without a quarter! Okay, apology mission on hold till I find some spare change."

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As Calvin searched for spare change, Jason, Marcus, and Charlie Brown were having more serious problems. The Kankers had easily dragged them into a changing booth (they were too scared and to resist), tied them up, and hung them on the wall.

"Okay," Lee told them, "we've got it all figured out. Me and Marie will do the kissing, and May's gonna do the filming."

"Hey!" whined May. "How come you get to have all the fun?"

"Come on, you always talk about how creative you are!" She cuddled up to a disturbed Jason. "Get some good angles of me with my new boyfriend!"

"Wouldn't you rather kill me?" shuddered Jason.

Before the fun could start, there was a knock on the door. "WE'RE BUSY!" The Kankers snapped.

"I'm giving out free lipstick!" called the voice outside.

The Kankers eagerly opened the door to find the Volleyball of Terror smiling up at them. "MORONS! Volleyball of Terror, Volleyball of Terror!" He happily bounced from person to person, singing all the way. "I'll hit you and you and you and you and you and I'll hit you twice and..."

At that moment, Eugene burst in with yet another gun. "Everyone freeze! Give me the prisoners!"

"What kind of gun is that?" asked Charlie Brown.

Eugene looked at it. "I can't remember. Let's find out!" He shot at the Kankers, forming a cage around the three of them.

"A cage gun?" whined Eugene. "Aww, I thought I grabbed the bazooka!"

"Yeesh," said Jason, "learn your weapons, buddy! Everyone knows the difference between THOSE two!"

"Did he just say he has a bazooka?" Marcus whispered to Charlie Brown.

Wanting to save whatever face he had left, Eugene regained his composure. "Now, then. Should I destroy all of you now, or release you and hunt you again?"

"Why not flip a coin?" said Charlie Brown.

"I'm broke," called Jason.

Marcus glared at him. "Gee, you sure had money for that Gamecube game!"

"Well, you can't flip a dollar bill..."

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" cried Eugene. "I have a quarter!"

The Volleyball of Terror suddenly bit the ropes holding the boys and sent them running.

"No fair!" complained Eugene. "I couldn't flip! Why did you do that?"

"For chaos," smiled the volleyball. "I live for this stuff! Actually, I live because of my creators. I should be thankful." He paused, as if in deep thought. "Well, time to pummel 'em."

Calvin dashed over a snatched the quarter from Eugene, not paying attention to who he was. "Hey, a quarter! Can I borrow this? Thanks."

Eugene gasped as the boy ran off. "What the?! Who...oh, never mind. I'll get you yet!" He dashed off.

With everyone gone, the Kankers were left lying alone in their cage. Lee calmly pulled the bars apart with her bare hands and stepped out. "Well, that was fun."

"Yeah," said May, "but I miss Big Ed. Think we should go back?"

"Totally," nodded Marie. "Forget these nerds, our REAL boyfriends are waiting!"

"Besides," added Lee, "security's probably gonna be on their butts in five more minutes."

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Calvin and Hobbes were back at the gumball machine. "Didn't that kid look familiar?" asked Hobbes.

"Not now, Hobbes. I have to concentrate and pray that I get a blue gumball."

"Why?"

"Everyone knows blue ones are the best!" explained Calvin.

"I like white the best."

"What, are you racist or something?"

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Jason and Marcus dashed through the foods section. "Forget everything, that doesn't involve running!" cried Jason.

"I'm right behind you!" called Marcus. "Well, technically, I'm in front of you by an inch, but..."

They screeched to a halt as Eugene dropped in front of them from a nearby shelf. "This is the end," he hissed.

"Arm yourself!" shouted Jason. "It's time for a produce battle!"

The three boys grabbed some cucumbers and began to smack each other.

"I'm sorry," said Marcus, "this is just stupid."

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Charlie Brown was running down a different isle when he came to one of the scariest sights he would ever see...a floor covered with volleyballs!

He heard a familiar high-pitched voice. "That's right, Mr. Brown...volleyballs! But which of us is real? I shall give you one chance. There is a needle next to you. Make your decision quickly. Stab the wrong one and I attack!"

Charlie Brown stood, trembling, in front of the balls, carefully considering his descision. After a second, the Volleyball of Terror jumped out of nowhere and attacked him. "Ha! None of the balls were me! I'm just nasty like that."

Jason and Marcus drove by in a shopping cart and grabbed Charlie Brown, yet again.

"How many times have we had to rescue you like this, again?" asked Jason.

"Where's Eugene?" panted Charlie Brown.

"We got him with a watermelon," Marcus said proudly.

Eugene suddenly jumped into the cart and smashed a watermelon over Marcus's head. "You mean THIS watermelon? I'll teach you three!"

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Calvin, meanwhile, was still waiting for his gumball to come out.

"It sure takes a while," commented Hobbes.

"It builds the anticipation."

Eugene, Charlie Brown, Jason, and Marcus suddenly crashed the cart through, spilling gumballs everywhere.

Calvin happily scooped up the candy. "It's a miracle!"

Jason struggled to his feet. "Calvin?"

Calvin ran to his friends. "Jason! Marcus! Charlie Brown! ...who's the guy with the gun?"

"How can you not know who I am?" cried Eugene. "I'm the one, the only..."

The Volleyball of Terror bounced through. "Volleyball of Terror!"

"We're a family again," Hobbes muttered sarcastically.

An alarm went off. "Security's coming!" cried Charlie Brown.

"What took them so long, anyway?" wondered Jason.

Eugene freaked out. "WHAT? What will my mom say? I'm too young to go to jail! I won't last!"

"Every kid for himself!" announced Calvin. They started running, yet again.

Hobbes rolled his eyes as they sprinted towards the worker's exit where all the carts went. "'Every kid for himself'? You wouldn't have said that if you were General Calvin."

"Hey, when I'm not wearing the hat, sunglasses, and boots, he doesn't exist. Lay off!"

But just as they were reaching the warehouse exit, they saw a large garage door lowering. Security was going to capture them!

"We're never gonna make it!" cried Jason.

"Retreat!" agreed Marcus.

As they ran the reverse direction, Eugene flew at them, wearing rocket shoes strapped to his feet. "I have no idea why I didn't use these earlier!"

The villain looked up to see the garage door, too late. He smashed into it, leaving a Eugene-shaped imprint. "Oh yeah. They have trouble turning."

Meanwhile, Jason, Marcus, Charlie Brown, Calvin, and Hobbes were sprinting towards the other exit, with a certain Volleyball of Terror bouncing after them.

"I swear," exclaimed Charlie Brown, "there's a talking volleyball behind us!"

"Obviously, this ordeal has done things to you," Jason said sympathetically. "Now, dive!"

They dove under another garage door. The Volleyball attempted to follow them, but got caught in the garage door, which squeezed. And squeezed.

POP!

"CURSE YOU!"

Everyone sat on the ground, panting. It took them a few seconds to realize what had happened. They had won.

Calvin rushed to his friends. "We made it! Aw, guys, I missed you!"

"Someone actually missed me?" Charlie Brown smiled hopefully.

"Let's go home," Jason sighed, relieved.

Whipping out the fishing rod from earlier, they hooked onto a car and rode after it in a shopping cart. "Just hope this thing's going the right way," said Jason.

Marcus turned to Calvin. "So you came just to get us to come back?"

"Well, also to apologize. You see..."

Before Calvin could finish, someone riding on a car roof behind them made his presence known. Eugene was armed and ready. "You're not escaping this time! Take THIS!" The villain aimed his cage gun at the startled boys, who were all caught off-guard.

But not Charlie Brown.

He had been repeatedly chased, captured, kissed, bullied by talking volleyballs, and talked down to throughout the day. His life was full of people like Lucy making him miserable. Now he was taking a stand.

He jumped and grabbed the gun, struggling to twist it towards Eugene. Thankfully, Eugene wasn't the strongest boy in the world, and he was soon on the wrong end. The trigger was pulled, and Eugene was sitting in a cage a few seconds later. The cage toppled down a hill, into a small pond.

Charlie Brown panted, relieved. He could hear his friends cheering. "Yay, Charlie Brown!"

Unfortunately, the car was getting farther and farther away, and they hadn't noticed that Charlie Brown wasn't riding with them, anymore. With a groan, the round-headed kid took off after them. "Wait! WAIT! Oh, good grief!"