Chapter 4
She walk quickly outside of the building, holding her sobs in for as along as she could, she didn't want to show weakness...she knew that they were keeping tabs on her...and were probably even watching her now. To see her crying, would just make them come after her...more quickly. She held her head high as the crisp breeze ran through her hair, pain grew from deep inside her...she was alone. Her heart swelled up as images of his cold face, and his harsh words ran through her mind.
She walked further down the dark, empty street... her body becoming heavy... she needed to stop walking...she couldn't hold herself up any longer, not without him. She leaned towards a closed gift shop. She grasp against the rough brick wall trembling... she slowly she fell against the hard cement...not too long after...she burst into tears. Broken. That's how she felt, he was the one that held her together, who held her through her toughest situations, who accepted her...and loved her for who she was, Courtney Mattews. He brought so much light into her life, and he really made her believe that she was special. Now that Jason was gone...he left her heart shattered into countless of pieces.
Pain...that was all that consumed her. Her sides still ached from her dispute against Jeff...her heart aching over the loss of the one person who she counted on, and loved so much. Her hands trembled as she reached to wipe the tears from her eyes. She was scared...she had never felt so neglected in all of her life. She didn't like feeling this way...it scared her. But how else was she suppose to feel? Her world fell all around her and the one person who knew how to pick her back up...and bring her world back together, didn't want to help her.
She knew what she had to do. She had to get out of here, she didn't know how but all she knew was time was running out for her, she needed help...and as far as it looked for her she was the only one who can help herself. She held her side gently as she got up from her spot on the wall, she tried to ignore the pain that consumed her. Wiping tears from her eyes, she slowly headed back to her loft. She turned to look back at the building that held many unforgettable memories for her, a building that kept Jason's presence away from her. "I love you Jase..." She slowly turned and kept walking towards her loft.
"You should've seen the look on her face Carly...Goodness it was priceless I almost felt sorry for the girl, but then again...she did deserve it." Bobbie glanced down at her drink on the table. "Megan should've known better, Jessie has a girlfriend and I was so glad that Maxie caught her when she did." Bobbie looked across her seat at her daughter who was staring intensely at the center of the table. "Hey Carly...Carly..." She pushed herself closer to her daughter. "Carly!"
Carly shook herself from her thoughts, "I'm sorry Mom...I just was thinking..."
Bobbie nodded in understanding, she knew what happened between Jason and Courtney had a great impact on Carly and Sonny's relationship as well. "Did you talk to Sonny about how you felt about his decision on his sister?"
She chuckled, "Oh not only did we talk...we yelled...and hollered for a little bit, I just don't get it Mom. Courtney has always been there for Sonny, and the boys. Why can't he see that was she did was out of the goodness of her heart. She doesn't want to see the boys grow up without their father...Then Jason had to...Oh you know what." Carly pushed her chair back and crossed her legs. "I don't even want to talk about this right now...the whole situation just upsets me."
Bobbie nodded her head, as she reached out and gently squeezed both of Carly's hands. "I'm sorry for bringing it up, but If something's its bothering you...then just let out. I'm your mother...I'm use to hearing you yell."
She smiled up at her mother. "Thank you," She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Mom...I ruined our night out together over my problems...again." She stared heavily against the ground. "I just can't help but..." She paused. Something was wrong...she was a having a bad feeling that something was going to happen... she's been having this feeling ever since she left Courtney's loft. She leaned forward against the table.
"Carly...are you o.k?"
Carly shook her head as she pulled herself from her seat, "I'm sorry Mom...I have to go check on someone...something doesn't feel right. I'm really sorry..."
Bobbie waved her hand in the air, "Carly...it's o.k. we can always do this another time, are you alright? Carly...what's going on?"
Carly shook her head as she pulled on her coat, "I don't know...but I'm hopefully going to find out. Thanks for everything Mom." She quickly ran out of her club leaving her mother watching her from her seat.
She tore through her closet, pulling as many clothes as she can off of the hanger's. She quickly stuffed them into one of her many suitcase's that were scattered all across the room. She was desperate...she needed to get out of here, there was no way she was going to be pushed back into that life again. Clothes, picture's, hangers...and many other accessories were spread all over her loft. She was trying to keep organized but just the thought of them coming after her again had her running all over the place. She quickly zipped up the suitcase which was stuffed with several of her clothing. She quickly ran into the bathroom, she ripped open one of her cupboards and grapped an arm load of lotion's, shampoo's and body wash. She turned around and headed for her room, she let out a startled scream.
Carly jumped at her friend's reaction. "Geez...you scared the crap out of me! Don't do that ever again..." She held her hand against her chest.
Courtney leaned against the wall. "Carly...it's just you." Let out a sign of relief, she had never felt so glad to see her best friends as she did now.
"Courtney..." Carly said as she looked at the mess that was spread widely across the loft, "What's going on here...how come you got all your stuff...packed up?" She saw her friend hesitate; she walked closer to her and saw pain shining through her eyes.
"I'm leaving, for awhile I just have to get out of here Carly...its too much for me to handle." Courtney felt tears coming down her cheeks, "I thought that he would help me...protect me or something...but I-I was wrong." She ran her hands angrily through her hair, "I'm such an idiot Carly...I actually thought...no I believed that he would listen to me but he doesn't want to.-" She fought back against a sob, "God I wish I could stop crying..."
Carly watched her best friend...her sister in law break in front of her, she felt her heart ache for her. "Courtney...sweetie, It's o.k take a deep breath it's o.k." She gently squeezed her friend's shoulder. "Now...please tell me-"
"I can't" Courtney shook her head, "I can't tell you what's going on Carly, I'm already in trouble and I don't want to bring you into it. Jason's either not ready to help me...or he doesn't want to, Carly. Please don't bother him either...he has to want to help me himself."
"So you asked Jason to help you...and he said No?" she felt anger flow through her veins.
"Carly...its along story and I don't want to get into it right now." She walked past her best friend only to be grab by the arm. She cried out in pain.
Carly watched her friend hold her arm, wincing in pain, ignoring her friend's protest she pulled the sleeve up on her arm to revel an ugly bruise. "O.k...no more bull...you need to tell me what's going on now..."
Courtney pulled herself from Carly's grasp on her arm, she turned away from her and crossed her arms gently across her side's. "I need help...I'm trying to fight against my past and at the same time...I'm running from a broken heart." Courtney paused as she turned to face her. "I'm having issues with my past Carly...and I'm trying to deal with them and at the same time I'm broken. I just need to get out of here, try to find some place where I can be safe and hopefully I can find myself again."
"Does your past by any chance have something to do with the note that I found earlier today?" Carly crossed her arms and stared closely at her friend.
Courtney nodded her head, "I'm leaving...tonight I know it's sudden but I really have to get out of here Carly." Courtney looked at her friend in hope of seeing some sort of understanding. "I know your going to be mad at me and I know that your confused. I'm sorry but I can't say anymore to you, and Please...don't go to Jason for this things are just too confusing."
Carly stared at the ground, Knowing that there was no way she could change Courtney's mind about leaving, she began. "You better call me Courtney, and if you don't call me at least once a day...I will go to Jason. I don't know all about your past, but I get the feeling that the bruise your wearing on your arm expresses a lot about your past. You better keep safe Courtney...so help me you better keep safe." She gave her friend a hug, she pulled away holding back tears. "When its safe to come back...please come back." She watched her nod her head, "I hope you know what your doing." She quickly walked out of the loft.
Courtney stood still for a moment as she watched her friend leave. "I hope so too Carly...I hope so too."
