Hey people I redid this cause I reread it and saw it wasn't what I wanted. Everything's the same but how it went when Sasuke picked Naruto up from the get together at little 'Sora Kage' pond and Sasuke's thoughts. The next chapter should be up in like 30 mins or so. Review please because if no one reviews I will never get out of my own self puddle crawl over to my computer and type. ;)

And it went on! Yes just like Naruto predicted Sasuke hadn't stopped his late night antics and this only worsened Naruto's mood. Not to mention that he'd found Sakura sleeping with him…..YES SAKURA! Ugh….the memory was…disturbing. He predicted that the culprit for his deteriorating health was probably the whole ordeal with Sasuke. He'd been feeling like crap lately ALWAYS throwing up in the morning and suddenly having piss poor social skills. His abdomen felt funny too… and so he found himself waiting to be examined by Hinata chan.

"Naruto kun ready to start?" speak of the devil.

"Huh….Oh sure whenever Hinata chan." He cheerfully answered. She nodded and proceeded. In the end nothing was found wrong with Naruto and Hinata noted that all the ramen he ate was probably getting to him. She suggested rest, a good diet and some decent sleep.

"I can't sleep in my own house Hinata Chan…" Naruto commented uneasily.

"Why not..?" she asked worry evident. "Are you suffering from insomnia or something of the sort?"

Naruto lay down on the examination table and hiccupped. This surprising Hinata she rushed over from her desk over to his side.

"Naruto! What's wrong? Please tell me!" she said desperately while clinging to his arm. Naruto opened his previously shut eyes and looked at Hinata with an unsure look.

"Can you keep a secret?"

●ῳ●

I sat there in Naruto's living room and battled with myself. What was my relationship with Naruto? It sort of appeared as if he might feel something for me. I….didn't feel anything for the dobe. Lust. That was it. No love. Maybe I should move out? It is kind of cruel for me to lead him on. I sighed and walked into the main bedroom. Naruto was the only person who understood me. When I'd left Konaha I felt a strong urge to bring him with me. He deserved more than what the people there were giving him. But even if I'd asked he would not have come with me. He was too strong. Too strong of a will and heart to ever betray his home. His people. Sadly all of the people in Konaha had too little of minds and patience to work hard enough to see him smile. To make him happy. Nobody had enough patience. Even if I tried I would not have prevail as my feelings for him weren't of love but of possessiveness and empathy. I needed to talk with him. And I mean really talk. It'd been a while since I had an actual conversation with him. I missed the Naruto I could talk to. I also missed all the expressions he had the privilege to show. When I grew up my view on Naruto changed. I wanted to make him happy. When I was around the person he seemed to be infatuated by ignored him so I thought if I left he'd become their hero and him and Sakura would have a happily ever after. Unfortunately Sakura had a little mind too.

●ῳ●

"Oh Naruto Kun! You poor thing!" wailed Hinata dramatically.

"HINATA!" Naruto groaned. "Don't smother me!"

"But Naruto Kun….that's sad…"

"Yeah well…I'll be going home now…" he said smiling nervously. After that little emotional breakdown I rushed home but suddenly stopped. Why was I hurrying….he probably at MY house with some other whore…..who would it is someone I know...? Maybe Sakura again….? After all they sempt to have fun. Maybe it was the violet haired slut Byaaki or maybe Momochi, Ryoka, Aya, Aoi, Sabrina, Keiko, Seija , Bara, Tora, Izumi, Shien, SHIZUKA, RIN, WATABE, YOKO, YUIKO, MIKU, ERI! Ugh! I've got some serious problems….AH! I'll go to Kiba's!

Later at Kiba's….

"HE DID WHAT? I'LL KILL HIM!" after about 2 bottles of vodka, 2 of wine and 6 cans of beer Naruto told his sad little shoujo tale to Kiba who drunk off his ass started blabbering about kicking Sasuke's ass. As things got off hand for some crazy reason Naruto began teaching Kiba his 'Sexy no jutsu.' After trying and failing they got the brilliant to go get Shino. On their way back they bumped into Ino who asked if she could come along and with her came Chouji, who suggested Shikamaru should come who dragged along his boyfriend Asuma (HE DIDN'T DIE HERE) who brought Genma who thought it'd be funny too see Iruka's reaction who at the time was giving Kurenai and Anko relationship advice and so the trio joined too. Now they were all very drunk at little 'Sora kage' pond. Kiba bet Naruto that he couldn't beat him in his specialty, Naruto pissed and offended said he could and they engaged in their little competition but not before Genma butted in and joined as well along and they competed for at least 2 exhausting hours in their tournament of 'Naked butt diving.' The premises of the game were to get naked and dive in butt first and see how big the splash was. You didn't have to be totally naked but you got extra points if you did it in your birthday suit. After that Shikamaru passed out while a VERY drunk Asuma sang about some cloud shit and sort of danced with Shikamaru who woke up at least 6 times cause Asuma kept dancing their way into the water without even noticing. On the other hand Genma thought he was Tarzan and swung from tree to tree STILL naked while Iruka chased after him. Surprisingly Kiba managed to perfect his 'Sexy no jutsu' or as he now dubbed -due to the fact that his female transformation had cat ears and a tail- 'Sexy kitty no jutsu.' Shino turned out to have a low alcohol tolerance and had now started murmuring stuff, flushed as butterflies, fireflies (and probably glitter) came out of his ears. A now horny female Kiba took notice of him and started dry humping him and later after Naruto's crude suggestion dragged him into the forest to rape him unbeknownst to them Anko and Kurenai weren't too far behind. Now the only sane ones were Naruto Ino and Chouji who'd fallen asleep on Ino's lap while she snoozed against a tree.

"Well…at least I got my mind off Sasuke…."

●ῳ●

WHERE THE FUCK IS HE! It was 2:14 and the dobe hadn't come home. Convinced that he was going to talk to Naruto he dismissed any of his 'bed warmers'. 'What if he's hurt? Or the Akatsuki or some other organization obsessed with him got him!' With these thoughts running through his head he rushed out with only shorts and a white tee. He rushed to the PINK area and stopped to ask some of his 'bed warmers' if they'd seen Naruto. Thankfully it turned out Seija had seen Naruto and his pals heading for 'Sora Kage' pond while going on a home call. And faster than you can say "Chidori!" he arrived at the pond only to be utterly frightened by the fucked-up-ness of their little get together. Ignoring everything else with the accuracy of a falcon's eye he spotted Naruto and began dragging him home.

"Where the fuck were you!" Sasuke asked angrily. "Do you think you can get away from me that quickly!"

"Sasuke, let go what's your problem!"

"MY PROBLEM! NARUTO YOU'RE NOT SOUPOSE TO GO OFF LIKE THAT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY! LET GO OF ME AND GET OUT UCHIHA!" as Naruto struggled to try and escape Sasuke's vice grip, the other's rage seemed to grow and he absentmindedly slammed Naruto into the wall hitting his head against the hard buttress and driving him into unconsciousness. Panic filled Sasuke as reality daunted on him and all he could do was cradle Naruto as blood ran down his face.

●ῳ● BONUS~! THE AFTER EVENTS OF THE GET TOGETHER TO GET YOU SORTA HAPPY SINCE THE LAST PART WAS DEPRESSING….

WITH SHIKAMARU AND ASUMA~! (A fav of mine ^^)

"Shika Chan…?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

It seemed that getting dipped in freezing water by a drunken dance driven Asuma resulted in Shikamaru having his ears filled with water. It was so bad that he could hardly hear. Asuma sighed and took a drag of his cigarette. Right about now him was mentally kicking his own ass. To get Shiki distracted Asuma suggested they have a picnic in- Shikamaru's favorite cloud watching spot- a flower field. Shikamaru sensing the guilt in Asuma's aura gave a quick sweet peck in Asuma's cheek. While Asuma was dumb struck Shikamaru hurried getting his notebook and pen out and wrote his message. Leaving it on Asuma's chest Shika got up and started walking away. 'It's late. I should get home.' He thought. Getting back to reality Asuma look at the notebook and grinned at the writing.

DON'T YOU EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN! BECAUSE IF YOU DO I'LL SHOW MY NICENESS BY PHYSICALLY KICKING YOUR ASS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT MENTALLY.

-LOVE SHIKAMARU

WITH ANKO AND KURENAI~! ^^

"Your head still hurt?" asked Kurenai in a concerned tone.

"Like a bitch!" answered Anko frustratedly. They shared a laugh and Kurenai returned to the kitchen. After 5 minutes she returned and gave her lover a cup containing a strange looking liquid. She picked up the dirty dishes and returned to the kitchen to deposit them in the sink. As she emerged into the living room she found looking curiously at the drink while sitting the large black leather couch.

"What is this stuff, Kurenai?" she asked with a glimmer in her eyes of that of a child.

"It'll help you with your hang over." The older female informed as she took a seat with her lover pulling her into a soft embrace.

"But it looks gross!" Anko said pouting.

"Just drink it!" Kurenai ordered frustrated.

"Fine!" she said exasperatingly murdering something along the lines of 'Stupid meanie abusing authority!' before chugging the whole thing.

"BLECH!" she shouted exaggeratingly! "That tastes awful…." She said as she laid the cup on the coffee table and leaned into Kurenai. The cycle of Anko gagging was cut off as Kurenai kissed the top of her head. Saying the one thing that ever made Anko blush besides booze.

"You're such a child." She said in a soft silky voice.

WITH INO AND CHOUJI~! (BEWARE THE FLUFF!)

"Yo Chouji wake up!" Ino urged as she shook Chouji. The only result she got was him grumbling something and turning only to put MORE of his weight on Ino.

"DAMN IT, CHOUJI GET UP YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!"

"Huh!" Chouji rolled off Ino and nervously started apologizing. While everybody somehow had awakened and gone home the two of them had stayed there in 'Sora Kage' pond.

"Just stop apologizing Chouji! It's okay. I don't mind…" she said her voice minimizing its tone as she blushed more and more.

"Umm…well I suppose we should head home huh…? Suggested Chouji who now resembled a tomato. (In both color and shape) he started walking but was stopped when Ino reached forward and caught the sleeve of his shirt.

"Chouji san….." he looked back and flushed even more (if possible) as he was met with an equally flustered Ino.

"I CAN'T WALK!" she accidently screamed while hiding her face in her palms. "I…since you were on top off my legs they fell asleep….I can't walk…" she explained nervously.

"Oh!" Chouji said as if he'd gotten an idea. Ino yelped as she was caught off guard as Chouji picked her up bridal style.

"Chouji!"

"Umm well….I worked out the logic that it's my fault you can't walk so….I said 'Hey! Maybe I can help her home! Heh Heh…" he responded. Ino snaked her arms around his neck and hid her blushing face.

"Thank you Chouji….most guys wouldn't be half as nice as that….thank you really..." she commented meekly.

"Any time, Ino!" he said smiling brightly and rather proudly.

WITH IRUKA AND GENMA! (This one's sort of crack and fluff! CRACK –FLUFF! )

"Well this is…..awkward." and so true it was because thanks to Tarzan Genma they were stuck in a tree all tangled together thanks to the vines and the thing that got to Iruka the most was that he currently had the other males 'junk' pressed to his stomach.

"You gotta admit…this is kind of romantic!" commented Genma cheerfully.

"GENMA IF I COULD HIT I WOULD SO DON'T PISS ME OFF MORE!"

"But I love you so much Iru-hime!" He said pouting.

"I know…that's the biggest tragedy….." Agreed Iruka.

And they went on cuddling for about two days till they finally came to the fact that they were never going to be rescued Iruka used an escape jutsu got Genma off the goddamn tree and ignored the shocked stares from everyone as they walked home with himself being awkwardly pulled by Genma who proudly made their way back home even with his mini him standing up proudly!

AND…..FINALLY! TIME FOR SOME SHINO X KIBA LOVE!

The 'Sexy kitty no jutsu wore off during foreplay and surprisingly they still proceeded. Now that they were for some unknown reason in Shino's room. They were enjoying their time together just reading up and it was all ruined by Kiba's pretty little mouth.

"Shino since bugs live in you and you came in me can I expect to be pulling Beatles and stuff out of my ass?" Shino almost choked on his drink flabbergasted for the first time ever and to top it off pink as a freaking flamingo.

"WHAT!"

"Well….I want know!" he shouted defensively.

"Kiba….answer me, when I sneeze do bees come out!" he asked.

"No…." he said.

"Then of course not! I may be a human hive but I can transport them temporarily out of my body with my chakra. This is what I did last night…" he said blushing.

"Does it take a lot of your chakra…?"

"No."

"AWESOME! Then last night is defiantly repeatable!"

"Wha!" and so Kiba dragged Shino into bed and raped him. Tenderly.

THE END~!

NOT REALLY.

Yes be prepared for many odd pairings! I don't like it when I read fics and the entire male cast is gay so I decided to shake it up! Hope you liked! Review please~!

LOVE UMS AND FUNNY UMS- D.C