chapter 4

'thoughts'
"speech"
actions
time line
straw hat luffy and crew has just entered the grand line

ages: robin,28 naruto,23 zoro,19 sanji,19 nami,18 luffy,17 usopp,17 vivi,16

naruto pov

'i wonder if robin would believe me if i told her i was in a house inside of a whale staring at that rookie pirate crew with one of those 'D' she wants to know about as their captain, although he doesn't seem to be with them at the moment. sigh! where the hell did vivi and that flipping idiot go, oh well I'm in the stomach so as long as she isn't in here she should be fine'

a few moments ago

this crocus guy is chilled as always i swear he didn't even look when i came in.

"yo, crocus laboon holding up alright ,i brought today's paper and restocked your medicine as per our agreement." i say sitting at the table giving him the paper.

"not bad all things considered, i need stronger sedative though he is still growing after all, that troublesome pair going to try something soon." he replied not really caring.

"why yes, but they are nothing someone from the king of the pirates crew can't handle, right"


me and crocus came to an agreement rather quickly after i explained everything to him his impression is strong, lazy, noble and mischievous all things i can get behind besides what marine is going to listen to a lighthouse keeper. the agreement is simple he lets vivi and the flipping idiot try to 'kill' laboon and i or him stop them, they get sent back here to finish the mission, she gets kept out of the way and he gets supplies fair trade. i also get to hear a story every now and then i could take his memories but apart from the medical knowledge i already have and the knowledge of the grand line is something you just don't want to spoil.' i am going to see the world first hand anyway why settle for a second hand point of view. '


"last time they came here i had to repaint the walls not exactly easy work for someone my age" he gave me a stink eye, i didn't react i was used to it i even learned to do it for jokes. "i forgot my brushes "he finished and goes straight back to reading, yes me and him get along well.

" i still think you should add a distant island and just watch people sail into the walls but that's just me, oh and it seems we have visitors so be nice, if i remember right they belong to one Monkey 'D' Luffy who knows he might be his legacy." i reply while looking out the window.

"oh, i might get a couple of laughs in before the pair come and try anything." he waits for something to attack them, from what he told me about what laboon eats, something will defiantly attack them.

normal pov

the straw hat crew have just finished confirming this is a dream or they are all dead already, then a giant pink squid comes out of the water zoro is the first to react holding a sword slightly out of its sheath with his thumb, his other hand hovering over it. zoro is a tan, tall, green haired young man with beady black eyes he is muscular and holds three swords on his right side held there by a green haramaki with three gold earrings on his left. he is wearing a white shirt with the first three buttons undone with a black bandana on his left arm, dark green to black trousers and black boots finish the look.

the next was sanji tensing and lowering his legs with his hands in his pockets ready for a kick. sanji is a slim, long legged young man with straight blond hair covering the left side of his face yet leaving the right side free showing the same eye colour as zoro's, 'holy crap is his eyebrow a swirl, how in the hell did he manage that and why doesn't he trim it, i wonder if the other one is a triangle and that's why he hides it' naruto thinks amazed. he is wearing a black suit with a blue striped undershirt with a black tie, with black rounded shoes. 'dudes jacking my style' naruto noticed idly.

before anything else could happen the door shot open and three harpoons was launched out of the house piercing straight through the body of the squid, it wobbled to and fro before toppling backwards. the crew tense as a shadow appear in the door way as a man comes out wearing a flower headdress and a pink shirt with white shorts, 'flower, no bunny' the crew thought with a sweat drop as he is indeed wearing white bunny ears naruto stuck on him before he left the house.

"no its a person, did he save us or was he fishing" sanji said shocked that a old man strong enough to do that wore bunny ears 'this truly is the vastest sea' he concluded.

crocus slowly started walking to his left will keeping his stink eye locked with sanji's as he was the one to talk, it helped that he was a bit pissed that naruto stuck damn bunny ears on him, the tension building until sanji was about to snap. when suddenly crocus sat down on a lawn chair and continued to read the paper naruto got him acting like they weren't even there, more pissed that the tension was for nothing and almost losing a stare down with an old man wearing bunny ears.

sanji yells "say something you bunny bastard" the result crocus turning calmly only to get threatened by is tan, skinny and quite tall for his age with round eyes,thick lips and a long nose, black curly hair covered by a olive green plaid bandana wearing brown overalls with a white sash belt and a blue and white stripped arm band on his left along with a yellow satchel.

"you bastard, you want to fight we have a cannon, i will shoot ." he shouted courageously, from as close to being inside as he could get without opening the door.

"i wouldn't, if you do... someone's going to die" crocus intoned like it was a fact of life, his stink eye now on all of them. Tensions building faster and to new heights at the clear threat.

"eh, and who's that" sanji said an unsure smile and sweat starting to build on his forehead.

"me" crocus finished like it was obvious and went back to reading, naruto barely holding in the laughter as he watches a master enjoying the reactions he gets from the straw hats.

naruto pov

after watching crocus finally finish his running gag and telling them that the shaking is from laboon ramming the red line, he dives into the stomach acid to help easy his pain with the sedatives i brought, i decided to make myself known by coming out of the house .

"oi , if you want to get out of here you might want a guide, i was about to leave anyway so let me tie my ship to yours and we can be on our merry little way." they jumped at my voice as i came from behind the house on my own little raft 'no real need for a big boat when you are a good stow away' i thought to myself smiling.

They look confused, crocus said this is a one man resort then who was this guy, nami is the one to ask knowing someone with 'sticky fingers' when she sees one.

"who are you" she asks, nami is a mid to late teen age girl of normal height with short orange hair with big round light brown eyes and a heart shaped face. she is wearing a sleeveless blue plaid vest with no buttons and a dark blue pencil skirt with two rings on the side, she also has a tattoo of a tangerine crossed with a pinwheel over slight scaring.

i give her the stink eye not caring that the joke has run its course, it seems to be working cause i might actually be a threat this time and reply straight faced

" i am ... a real estate agent".the result was good, i think they are a bit worn out from crocus but i will take a face fault as a win. i was on the boat by the time they recovered.

"so, thank you for having me aboard and it seems crocus has finally came out of that acid and should be calming laboon down soon" i said while thinking if i should erase myself or not, 'first i should get their impressions, besides they seem like fun and i can always do it later'. they turn to see a strange sight, a orange haired man with a crown and a women with a high blue ponytail flying through the air both holding bazookas and a teenager holding his straw hat to his head."there you guys are, that's good. by the way ,save me!"said luffy,but alas he was too late with the warning and they made a magnificent cannonball together.

'so that's Monkey 'D' Luffy he seems as childish as his wanted poster makes him seem' i smirk. 'why would he need help, i wonder if he is a devil fruit user' the moving moss goes to save the man and luffy , while captain swirl goes after Vivi 'did his eye just turn into a heart and what's with that smile its creepy, is he a horn dog or does he just fall in love easily'. all the while crocus just continued on his way 'just ignore random things' i guess.

normal pov

The strangers and luffy were thrown on deck with luffy landing on his ass on the railing just behind where the figure head should be with his back to it facing the crew, with miss Wednesday or vivi and Mr.9 or flipping bastard as naruto calls him landed on their knees in front of him, he doesn't even seem to notice naruto or doesn't care yet.

crocus after returning from treating laboon see's who it is and decides to play his part receiving two cannon balls at once to save his painting 'still the sturdy bastard i see, impressive at your age old man' naruto thinks idly. luffy not liking the way they are laughing at his effort to save something punches their heads together 'i wonder if he would apologise if he knew who she was ... probably not, i don't think he would get it anyway' naruto concludes his own thoughts on the matter. after returning to crocuses island with the two tided up their memories of naruto already blocked when he tied them up, crocus is explaining the story of laboon and what the duo want with him, with naruto planning how to get the impressions he needs.

naruto pov

luffy is trying to climb the tree with only the long nosed guy there to stop him. luffy is around the same height as long nose but with a lighter tan and short black hair that spike at the fringe big oval eyes with black beady eyes with a scar under his left 'seems to be a common trait on this crew i wonder if i am weird having a different eye colour' he wears a sleeveless red buttoned up vest with baggy blue shorts.

i touch his arm to help long nose get him off the tree 'how stupid is this kid that the impressions i got aren't even traits a person has, what the hell would MEAT mean in a personality test' sigh 'there is also naive, loyal, promises and straw hat. not bad means he would die for his crew, something i can respect' testing a theory i place the knuckles of my gloves against his skin. with a pitiful wine of "i am hungry, sanji meat" he hits the ground on top of the other guy, seeing the chance i help the nose guy up.

'what a strange guy he is like a living contradiction, the first feeling i get from the impression is cowardly the second is courageous, truly strange.' the other feelings are no confidence if that could be a feeling and a strong desire to help people. 'if i told him what was really happening right now, i think it would kill him from shock and then the ghost would run away then act big from afar to help. What a fun person robin will enjoy scaring the shit out of him, she always did like to scare people.' after getting him of the ground i turn to the others looking for any reason i could use to touch any of them. 'strange they don't seem to have a log pose, i know it's only the start but didn't they stop at logue town to get one, hopefully the navigator isn't someone i touched yet'.

"which one here is the navigator" i ask nervously 'i am just an estate agent after all'

"that would be me." the orange haired girl said nicely. "wait we never did tell you our names did we?i am nami the navigator , that's sanji the cook, zoro the first-mate, usopp the gunner and luffy the captain." she finished pointing with a cute smile.

"oh how rude of me i am Naruto Uzumaki, a real estate agent as i said previously, nice to meet you all."i said reaching for a hand shake, nami gave her hand as i pulled it up to my lips as i lean down a bit i said in a slightly quieter voice "especially you nami-san" i finish with a gentle kiss to her knuckles while keeping eye contact with her, i see the slightest blush before i took a kick to the head for appearances sake 'that was a good kick, nice form, speed over power, if he turns out to be a douche i will take it then kick his ass with it. might do it anyway the look in his swirly eye would be funny.'i think tomyself while taking a look at nami's impression while getting up.

'wow she wants to be free like a lot, did she used to been a slave or something ,sad past, strong family values, treats friends like family, strong morals if a little tweaked but hey robbery is hardly the worst thing to do, more cautious than cowardly and generally strong emotions.' smile 'i like her and it will be good for vivi to hang around another girl her age for now at least. god knows she doesn't get the chance often.' when i finish getting up, i stare at sanji with a bit of blood coming from my bottom lip.

"my sanji-san , what seems to be the problem?, that was a common greeting to those of the fairer sex as a fellow gentlemen i am sure you can understand that" i finish in a lazy droll with half lidded eyes as i take out a book that I had written but never published under threat of being 'lost in history' from robin in the past, i told her the character was completely random the fact it was named Nico Swallow and looks like her was just a strange accident, yeah just an accident.

"you're the damn problem you bastard, keep your hands off nami-chan" sanji yells at me with his flaming pupils, glaring into me 'how is he doing that, did he eat the eye-eye fruit or something, snicker what a perfect power for a pirate.'

"hmmm, you say something?" i ask in that same lazy tone with sleepy eyes not even looking at him. 'never fails to please. 'i think to myself while smiling internally as his hair starts to rise.

"bastard , making a fool out of me I'll kick yo... is that the new one in the series". 'how the hell did this naruto bastard get that book' sanji thought finally taking a closer look at the book showing the icha icha logo on it but with a different back ground colour to the ones he owns. 'the writer said it would come out in three months is he friends with N.U.N-sama, that must be it'. sanji thought.

'Ah, the power over thousands of perverts at my finger tips, i miss using it.' a smile working its way onto my face. 'what everyone needs a hobby mine just so happens to get me paid.' thinking back to the response i gave to robin when she found out i wrote them. 'ah that reply just pissed robin off more, her face didn't change but the air around her sure as hell did. Good times'.

Turning to sanji i replied "no this is just a limited edition one, the new one in the series is in my pocket, why do you ask" ignoring vivi's glare and nami's twitching eye at seeing the book in my hands. 'hmm it seems sanji can't handle the glares, i don't think he can handle making a women sad or in this case angry, i bet he will fold' i think to myself seeing sweat glide down his face.

"so you have the next book in the series, is it as goo..."he stops feeling the glares move to his back." i mean evil as the prequels" sanji catches himself from saying his true thoughts and grounds out the rest.

seeing some fun to be had i smile sadly"yes it is I'm afraid, so much filth i think i should just destroy it, i already finished it anyway, i was going to offer it as fee for my trip as you could sell it at the next town but, oh well."i finish taking the book out of my pocket and reeling back my arm facing the stomach acid just as i am about to throw it, i feel two hands clamp onto my hand stopping me i turn to see in my own surprise zoro and sanji and it looks like nami took a step forward as well. 'now this is strange, i didn't feel anything about this book in her impression so why does she care if i throw it, i know she likes money but to just sell it'.

'well sanji, it's safe to conclude you are a breast man or you secretly want to be a women from how BOOBS somehow became a personality trait, good god is this guy horny he needs to get laid full stop. well let's see what else he is chivalrous, a good trait may cause some problems later though, respects food, always repays his debts, quite loyal and dreams big. altogether not a bad guy just horny.

'holy crap zoro, 'refuse to die' isn't that supposed to be how opponents think about you how can this be a trait, ugh i give up the only normal one is nami and i think she used to be a slave, all these guys are just so weird i mean what's up with his sense of honour it's like he is one of those samurai i heard about. huh he is chivalrous but he will still fight with a women unlike sanji, loyal to those he respects, cares for or owes and takes his life seriously with some battle lust thrown in.'

'these guys don't really seem like pirates more of adventures with a talent for pissing the world off and finding corrupt people and that's without counting finding vivi that will lead to all kinds of shit. they seem loyal enough, i will wait and see how they act to vivi's problem and if they are strong enough to help, if they pass i may have just found a new family for me and robin if i can get her to believe me that is. i can always just beat Crocodiles ass with my gloves if all else fails. well it seems i am going to stick around with them for a while so they get to keep their memories for now.'

turning around still in my throwing stance i stare them both in the eyes "can i have my hand back?, i don't do well in love triangles." they look confused for a second until they notice the other and then where their hands are. watching the horror stricken look at the thought of what i implied appear on their faces and what looked to be sanji's soul leave him for a second. i take the chance to remove my hand the book still in it, and ask with a straight face "oh i thought you wanted me to destroy it, why did you stop me then?"

"for the money" nami said with a warm smile on her face, eyes closed and a dark aura around her "right?."

" yeah, i owe you some right?" zoro replied truthfully just wanting to get out of nami's debt before he got sucked dry by the interest she keeps adding he didn't care where the money came from money is money after all.

"of course nami-swan, i was just going to make sure it is kept safe until we get to the next island then we could sell it at a higher prices, its condition matters after all" sanji says with a charming smile and a bloody nose. no one believes him for a second at all, okay maybe luffy does.

"well then here you are sanji-san i am sure you will take good care of it, won't you?"i smile peacefully while sanji takes it from my hands on one knee the light surrounding us making it look like i am bestowing a holy gift to a mankind.

"now that that is finished, i asked who the navigator was as i couldn't find anyone wearing a log pose, does this mean your group is lacking one nami-san" i said honestly, completely ignoring the giggling in the back ground 'he reminds me of that old guy that kept bothering tsunade.'

"log pose?, what's that and where do we get one?"nami replied brow arched.'well i guess that means i was right they are idiots and the one that isn't is clueless'.

"nami-san a log pose is a wrist watch looking compass that only work on the grand line, if you bring out your own compass you will see it doesn't work anymore." informing her with a helpful and caring smile while bring up my sleeve to show her my red strapped version.

"eh, why isn't it working any more it's like we aren't even on the same planet as before" nami whined looking at the compass in betrayal.

"nami the weather sea currents and even the island themselves here defy logic and the compass no longer works thanks to the magnetic field generated by the island, while the log pose locks onto a frequency of magnetic force that leads to one island, after a while in that magnetic field it will sync to another so on and so forth till you reach the end of the road, Raftel only gol 'D' Rogers crew has ever made it to there." i inform her and offer her my spare wooden one.

with that out the way i ask "is everyone ready to finally leave laboon?".'ah it seems everyone forgot we are inside a whale stomach.' i think seeing everyone's slowly widening eyes.

"crocus if you please" i bow with my hand in the direction of the gate.

sigh" fine but take that pair of annoyances with you" crocus replies pointing to the flipping idiot and vivi.

once we we're outside luffy decided to have a heart to heart/beat down with a whale and then painted a promise on his head in the form of their jolly roger that was drawn badly 'that poor whale getting graffitied like that, hopefully crocus will have a heart and redo it.' luffy found a spare log pose and gave it to me as thanks for the one i gave nami, after that me and usopp helped repair the ship, explaining i am a jack of all trades but a master at none.

i noticed a certain otter and vulture coming with a package in claws these animals are the un-luckies, when i saw them i hid below deck and watched through one of the windows as they blow up part of the sea i was wondering why they did that as i came out from below deck only understand when laboon came up with vive and the idiot, it seems they tried to escape. a little begging and ending the deal with crocus later and we are on our first journey together going to meet curly idiot and super Barbie at whiskey peak.

normal pov

on the deck luffy just finished his Mr. snowman with badly done eyes, cape and barrel hat as is tradition, usopp laughed at the craftsmanship while saying "behold! the art of my soul, my snow queen" showing a dainty women on a snowball like chair one hand holding her own cheek.

"my, what good craftsmanship usopp, but you must understand art is eternal." naruto states sitting on a deck chair with a pair of snow glasses on, all made of hardened snow with him sun bathing with one of those sun reflectors in hand made of ice he is in nothing but a pair of black with red flame designed swimming trunks on.

this showed heavily toned muscular physique with brick pectorals along with the signs of an eights pack, he even possessed muscle tone on the outside of his ribs while still holding the look of a swimmer. his lightly tanned skin marred by numerous scars, his long red hair being freed from its bandana is pulled back and braided into a mid back length rope that huge of the back of his chair.

behind him a beautiful woman with delicate features and long, straight waist length hair tied in two thin pigtails with jaw length bangs framing her face, a rhombus on her forehead. she wore shin length trousers, with high heeled sandals of a similar designs to nami, she is wearing a open haori with a kimono styled blouse that is closed low on her person displaying a huge amount of cleavage, she also possessed a ludicrous sized pair of breasts. her arms folded under her breasts for support she wore a proud and slightly cocky look on her face. she too was made of snow with too much detail to be a made up person.

'here stands tsunade' was transcribed under her with 'she was too stubborn to just lie down and rest 'just below that.

nami was looking at luffy and usopp playing and having a snowball fight with naruto protecting his chair and whoever it was he made, 'what the hell is up with that body and scares is everyone this tough in the grand line and how does he know when they are getting close, he is still wearing those god damn snow glasses'. with a sigh she thinks about more pressing matters. 'it was warm not two seconds ago, you weren't kidding about the weather was you naruto.' shaking her head to clear those thoughts, she goes to get a warm drink in the kitchen.

Vivi or Miss Wednesday laughed at the confused face of Nami when she walked in to the kitchen where she and Mr.9 or flipping idiot were trying to stay warm "now do you understand the error of your foolishness, thinking logically in this sea will only lead you to insanity, just trust the log pose and maybe you won't die from getting lost at sea at least,that reminds me are you sure you should leave the helm alone" she taunts nami while Mr.9 makes some hot drinks for himself and Vivi

"what are you going on about and i only left the helm for like five minutes" nami finishes then looks at the log pose only to see it pointing in the other direction 'what the hell is wrong with this sea, i didn't even feel the ship turn.' nami thinks with wide eyes until she hears a laugh only an evil duchess should have. quickly looking up with an eye twitch to see Vivi laughing at her about to drink what could only be a cup of hot chocolate, her hot chocolate.

"stop laughing and get your asses out there to help steer the ship, you're not guests so start working." nami yells grabbing the hot chocolate while kicking the two out the door.

"nami-swan how long should i continue with my snow shovelling of love" sanji says when he saw nami coming out of the kitchen with a drink. thankfully he hasn't seen what naruto made or he properly wouldn't of even noticed it was just made of snow.

"stop and go to the helm we need to turn around." nami half heartedly answered sanji. not even a minute after getting back on course the weather changed from snow to but zoro and naruto helped out, naruto sleeping in the rain in nothing but swimming trunks while sitting on his snow chair. the chair, glasses, and statue somehow still standing strong, for the next few minutes it stayed like this weather constantly changing between the extremes everyone rushing around to help apart from zoro and naruto.

when zoro woke up he couldn't help but sigh telling the crew off for just lounging around wasting the day away completely ignoring the fact he just had a nap himself, this only pissed the rest of the crew off even if they are too tired to yell out at him. they sigh holding it in to use it later when they have energy, that is until they notice naruto still sleeping on his snow chair, statue guarding him the only change being he is now wearing winter cloths.

twitch 'wait, how is he still asleep and how come his snow hasn't melted, wait a minute why is he wearing winter clothes when it is sunny no wait there is something wrong here' then it hit them all at the same time.

"you bastard you are awake you fucking changed clothes, how did you do that while sleeping?" yelled the crew that worked through the storm jumping to their feet demanding answers. they watch as the guest they are carrying to the next island jerk in his sleep, then still for a second only to stand up discard his coat and trousers showing his trunks once more , whip out the ice sun reflector from somewhere and start sun bathing again, all with a snort bubble and snoring. the guy's sweat dropping at the pointless skill displayed with nami being too feed up at the annoying feat to care if he wakes up or sleeps forever.

zoro remembering something from before went to confirm his theory the two whale hunter.

"so what are your names again" he says with piercing eyes looking at both of them in turn.

" M..Mr.9" the orange haired man said with a stutter not liking the look in zoro eyes.

"Miss Wednesday vivi replied her voice getting weaker at the end.

" i see, you know I've been thinking about those names since i first heard them, and i can't help shaking the feeling I've heard them before" zoro said facing away from them slightly but still keeping a piecing eye on them" you wouldn't mind telling me why that is, right?"finishing with a blood thirsty grin.

they were about to crack only for the atmosphere to be destroyed as nami came behind from behind zoro, finally recovered enough to hit the jack ass and hit she did with enough force for his head to bounce back up after hitting the deck.

"i hoped you dreamt about something nice while you slept, it would be a shame if you left this world on a bad note" nami said standing over him a battle aura practically oozing out of her.

"huh" was zoro one word reply as he stared back at her angry she wrecked the atmosphere just as they were about to crack.
it was over before it even started zoro now nursing a triple stacked bump with nami feeling refreshed to her core 'haaa, it's the little things in life' she thought to herself before becoming serious.

" i now understand the fearsomeness of this ocean but i will not give up, this ocean hasn't even begun to see the power of my navigating skills" with nami vowing not to lose to ocean the others start standing and looking to nami for order about what to do to the ship, only to see her pointing in front of the ship a smirk on her face.

"i told you i could do it, this is it our first island whiskey peak." the others turn to see and just as she said, there it was an island shaped like a giant cactus.