Natsume's Heart
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: What if Gakuen Alice does not exist and they're just ordinary teenagers? Mikan is sick and dying and Natsume is a what! MxN pairing
Author's note: I don't own Gakuen Alice. My very first fanfic so please be gentle with your reviews ok?
Chapter 4
By nine-thirty that night, Natsume had still not come to see Mikan. She kept his disc player under her pillow and listened to the plaintive strains of the haunting classical guitar music until she got a lump in her throat and felt as if she'd cry from the sheer beauty of it. When her mother had seen Mikan with the player earlier, she'd asked, "Where did that come from?"
"I borrowed it from a friend."
"It was thoughtful of Hotaru to bring it," her mother said, making an assumption Mikan didn't bother to correct. "But your father and I can buy you one of your own. All you have to do is ask."
"I like this one."
"Why? I'm certain we can buy a better one. I'll research the different brands, and we can stop at an audio store tomorrow ---"
"This one is fine, Mom."
"But if you like it so much, why wouldn't you want one of your own?"
Because if you buy me one, I have no reason to hold on to Natsume's, she thought."Mom, I don't have to own everything," she insisted. "I just like borrowing things once in a while. It makes me feel like someone expects me to live long enough to give them back."
Her mother hadn't mentioned it again, and now, as the hospital quieted down for the night, Mikan began to doubt that Natsume would come to retrieve his disc player at all. He probably had a bagful and went from room to room giving them out to lonely girls trapped in hospital beds.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Mikan." Natsume ducked inside her room after ten o'clock. "I had to clean an operating room."
All her dark thoughts vanished at the sight of him. "I wasn't worried," she fibbed. "Plus I had your disc player. I figured you'd come back for it."
He came to her bedside. "The player is nothing. It is you I want to see."
Her feelings of rejection did an about-face. "Thank you for letting me borrow the player. I love the music."
He reached into his pocket and withdrew several minidisks. "Here are others."
"But it's your player, and I should give it back. My parents will buy me my own."
Natsume grinned. "Then you will have no reason to let me visit."
She returned his smile, touched that they'd shared the same thought. "You don't need a reason."
He placed the discs in her hand. "I can't stay. I have worked to do, but I could not begin again without seeing you first."
"Will you promise to come back tonight?"
His eyes clouded. "I don't know… Your doctor wants you to rest."
"I rest all day."
"It would be very late, and the nurse on duty ---"
"I don't care. The nurse takes vitals at twelve and three. You can visit between her rounds. Please. I'm lonely here."
His expression softened. "I can deny you nothing, Mikan. Spending time with you is my greatest wish. I never thought you'd consider spending time with someone like me."
"What's wrong with you?"
He shrugged. "I am only an orderly."
"So? Is that what you'll always be?"
"I'd like to go to medical school one day. I'd like to become a doctor."
"Who takes care of girls with paper hearts?"
"Who takes care of girls with beautiful hearts?"
He said such wonderful things to her, unlike the boys in her classes. She'd had crushes on several, but they all seemed to be very much into their own lives --- friends, sports, cars. If any of them had had a crush on her, it was a well-kept secret. "I should be out of this tent in a few days. I'll be mobile soon. Maybe we could go down to the rec room together."
"I have another job. I leave this one, go home, sleep, get up, and work at a grocery store in my neighborhood until it is time for me to leave for this job."
Her heart sank. "I --- I didn't mean to get carried away. Of course you have a life, and if you work until midnight, this must be the last place you want to be in the daytime."
He leaned closer, his eyes full of emotion. "I will cut back my hours at the grocery store if it means I can spend more time with you."
"You'd do that for me?"
"I'd do most anything for you."
"But why? You hardly know me."
"I have seen you come since I began my job here. There was something about you that touched my heart. I know that doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me. People do not choose how they feel about someone. You just one day see that special person, and your heart reacts. Your soul jumps up and you think, 'I've waited all my life to meet this person.' It has been that way for me, Mikan. From the time I first saw you, I cared for you."
She was shocked speechless.
Natsume took a step backward. "I have said too much, haven't I? Forgive me. I didn't mean to push myself on you."
"No one's ever said anything like that to me before." No one ever confessed to adoring her, especially since her heart had gone bad. Few guys seemed even to want to be around an invalid. "I think I like hearing it," she added shyly.
His smile lit up his face. "I have wanted to tell you every time you came into the hospital how I felt, but I did not know you, and until last night I had little hope of meeting you. I expect nothing from you, Mikan. You may never feel for me as I do for you, and that's all right."
"There's not much I can giveback to you, Natsume. But if you'll visit me, you know, give me a little of your time, well, I'd like that a lot."
Their gazes locked and held. Mikan felt her insides turn to jelly.
"I'll come tomorrow afternoon early, before my shift begins," he said. "Is that okay?"
"Totally okay." The air felt charged. She held out her hand and he brushed his fingers across her palm, sending shivers up her spine.
"Until tomorrow,"Natsume said.
"Are you positive you don't want your disc player back?" she asked.
"It's not needed. Now I have music in my heart." He slipped out her room.
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So, what do you think?!
Is it getting too mushy for your taste guys?
Please let me know.
Anyways, I don't have any idea for the ending yet. Hopefully I can finish this fanfic before the semester break ends.
---rei michiru
