Addiction

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Ch4: Clean

A month later... I've been 'fresh' for five weeks. Jenny calls it being fresh she laughs when I call it being sober. Jenny and I have been on five other dates and we haven't slept with each other. However after every date I feel the urges come back in full force and are stronger each and every time.

"Nick what do you do when you feel these urges?" Greene asks

"I lock my door. I push my ottoman in front of the door and drink until I pass out"

"You realize that you are substituting one addiction for another?"

"What do you want from me, doc?"

"What if you stop seeing this woman?"

"She's not the reason... If anything she stops me from going out and relapsing" I say, it's weird talking about Jenny and me in front of Jenny.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why does she stop you? Nick your addiction is different because yours is more about the connection you make with a stranger. You take the connection to the extreme by bringing a stranger home and being intimate. I feel like you're afraid of being alone Why does she stop you?"

"I don't want to be alone it's something I can chose, be alone or be out and social able I guess"

"Why are you scared?"

"I'm not sure..." I lie being alone is like being in that damn box or lying on the floor feeling my blood pool onto my face and neck.

"Think about it. Jenny you have been quiet these last couple meetings. What's going on?" Greene asks I smile but quickly hide it.

"I have entered a new relationship with this guy..." I love her accent it makes me think of better times back home "I was wondering... How do I know when is a good time to take it to the next level?" she asks playing with her hair.

"In terms of?"

"Doc, I think I want to have sex with him" I feel my blood start to pump faster my heart starts to race.

"Oh... Well it's a tough place. You have to make a decision if you feel like you are in a comfort level with each other. But it has to feel right... Not just a fix like it was before. And don't go crazy; everything is good in moderation"


I am on my way to ask for a DNA sample from a possible female suspect, this woman is truly rude and bitchy. She is a young business woman I respect her only because she is successful. However my respect will be short lived if this DNA matches the sample I recovered from her late business partner's body.

"Ugh it's you again... I'm going to file a harassment suit against you and the whole city!" Mrs. Phelps says, I see that threat at least twice a day.

"Mrs. Phelps all I need is a DNA sample and I'll be out of your hair"

"Why do you need my DNA?"

"To exclude you. If you refuse I have to get a warrant which means I'll be back"

"Do what you want?" she starts to walk inside her office I follow, the uniform officer that is with me, leaves to the restroom.

I put my kit on her desk as she lowers the blinds I start to watch her intently making sure she is never out of eye sight. I'm not getting shot again.

"I don't need rumors starting in my work... Are you going to take a blood sample?"

"nope just a painless swab in your mouth" I swab the inside of her mouth and then smile at her "all over" with people who are just going to be rude to no end it's important to just show politeness it frustrates them more than anything. "Have a good day Mrs. Phelps"

As I leave her office I see Officer Bryant leaving the restroom.

"You alright bud" I say hitting his shoulder in a friendly gesture.

"Sorry man... I let Sergeant Yonkers talk me into trying the new India food from down the street from the department... Everything work out with the suspect"

"Yea"


Catherine comes into my office as I'm on the phone with Jenny. Yesterday was her first day in the night shift in the emergency room.

"Nick this is crazy I have never seen so many alcoholics in my life... I swear I will never touch alcohol again. This is just too much"

"You'll be fine... I know it"

"Thanks Nick"

"No problem... I got to get back to work" I say not wanting to hang up but I don't want to talk in front of Catherine. I told Jenny the somewhat truth and said that I worked in law enforcement but didn't get into too much detail.

"I'll text you later"

"See you later" I hang up my phone. "What's up?"

"I need a reality check, Nicky my boy"

"Ok hit me with it"

"I have a teacher, female, sleeping with her teenage male students"

"Ok sounds pretty black and white"

"The case came about because the boys were bragging about it. They aren't traumatized, it's making it hard to find people to talk"

"They are they just don't know it... How old are the boys?" I ask but before she could answer...

"Stokes!" I hear Ecklie yell I feel knots on my stomach. I look at Catherine who looks confused too.

"Ecklie..." I stand Ecklie comes in my office with two officers.

"Stokes, you are suspended! I have it on good authority that you were inappropriate with a witness!"

"What?" is all I can say

"Dana Phelps says that you touched her inappropriately while getting a DNA sample earlier"

"That's a lie I never touched her!"

"She has a bruise on her arm and I have her statement!"

"Its lies I never touched her!"

"IAB will be running a thorough investigation but until then you are suspended and are not allowed to return until cleared!"

"I never touched her!" I slam my fists on my desk, my rage and anger overflowing in my veins.

"Stokes, if you don't leave quietly these officers are prepared to bring you out"

"Ecklie I never touched her!" the officer tries to grab me but I immediately shake off the grip. "This is bs I didn't do anything!" I hand him my id and sidearm.


I sit on the curb in front of the coffee shop, which is closed, that Jenny and I had our first date. I can't believe I am suspended...

I texted Jenny to meet me here. I don't know where she lives or her last name and she doesn't know my last name or where I live. We felt it was better this way.

"Nick!" I hear her yelp I stand and she hugs me. "What's wrong?" I slowly sit as does she.

"I haven't been completely honest with you... I'm not some security rent a cop"

"You're not..."

"No I'm an assistant supervisor for a crime lab.. I'm a CSI"

"What if I told you I already knew?" she says hiding a smile, I look at her in a mix of emotions.

"What?"

"I saw you in the paper, Nick... CSI Nick Stokes dusts for fingerprints on Wednesdays suspected home invasion" she says

"You've known?"

"I didn't want to confront because I knew you would tell me if you wanted to"

"Thanks..."

"What is wrong?"

"I'm suspended..."

"Why?"

"A woman claims I was inappropriate and that I tried to touch her... She's the prime suspect in her business partner's murder"

"Did you touch her?"

"No..."

"Then what's the problem? Why don't they believe you?"

"Because the officer who is suppose to be my back up was getting sick in the bathroom. So it's my word against hers after everything I've been through with the department I can't believe this" I feel myself start to cry

"Nick I believe you" I smile trying to compose myself, I wipe my face.

"Thanks for coming over... I can drive you home" I say.

"I'm staying at the Tangiers my apartment was broken into.. I'm waiting for my super to change the locks"

"Oh... Um... You can stay at my place if you want? I mean only... If umm..." she pulls me into a gentle kiss quieting my babble.

"I would love to stay over I can't think of anything safer then sleeping over at a CSI's house" she smirks at me.