If not already apparent, I don't plan to be very faithful to the book, I was just inspired by the situation. So, if you loved the book you should probably read that again, but I hope you enjoy this too as much as I love writing it :)
And I'm sorry, Molly will not start work in this chapter either, but we'll get there. I promise.
As always, thanks for your comments on the previous chapter, it's really spurring me on.
X
Chapter 4: An evening to forgetIn the evening I bike over to the pub where I'm to meet Smurf, Katie, Sammy and maybe some other friends. Smurf and I have decided to meet a bit earlier than the rest to grab something to eat and hang out just the two of us for a while.
As Smurf is not originally from Bath, he rents a room in a house which he shares with other students. They are five guys living in that house, sharing the bathroom and kitchen and I avoid going there if I can because it is not very clean. I mean, the Dawes house is messy, but five grown up men living together can apparently be completely incompetent when it comes to cleaning away dust bunnies from the floor, removing cooking spill and dirty dishes in the kitchen leaving it overall sticky, or rinsing the bathroom basin clean from stubble and spitted tooth paste - so I prefer not to touch any surfaces in their common areas. Smurf's room is quite okay though and I sleep there a few times a week but sneak home for breakfast and shower. I would rather die of starvation than eat anything cooked in that kitchen. He for his part thinks my home is already too crowded by my family and he has a point there. This means that whenever we want to do something more social, like hanging out with friends or have a meal, we do it in our friends' homes or out, in pubs and cafés. This is the main reason we have our meal in the pub tonight, not that he wants to invite me to dinner. As Smurf is on a student budget I know he expects me to pay for myself. Maybe I would have either way because I have never really understood why the guy should pay, but I must admit that it would be nice if he offered to sometimes, just as a romantic gesture so I could choose to say no or yes. But I guess we are just one of those modern equal couples. Do not get me wrong, I very much like to know I can take care of myself, but every now and then it would be nice to feel that he wants to take care of me. Maybe that is just a stupid outdated girlish thought that belongs in the sixties.
I'm in a good mood after the day with Katie, mum and Bella, and Smurf seems to be too as he greets me with a brief kiss. We find ourselves a booth to sit in and order some burgers, crisps and beer. I would love to tell him about everything that has happened since yesterday, but he immediately gets started talking about his day. He is really excited about the accounting lecture he had today, apparently by a famous guest lecturer and I nod along as he tells me every detail even though accounting is hardly a passion of mine. Sometimes I find it hard to be excited about the same things as him. He is a person who likes to dig into the details of matters, especially debit, credit, revenue and other (boring) accounting stuff. And well, that is not me. I probably ruled out accountant as a possibly future job at the same time as I did nurse.
After half an hour of reiterating the lecture as detailed as one possibly could without completely duplicating it, and me patiently practicing the art of being an active listener, he finds it fitting to ask how my day was. In all his excitement he has already downed two pints meanwhile I only have sipped half of my first and I hope it will not be one of those evenings, but so far so good.
I finally tell him about that I quit the café and was offered a new job. For some reason I change the story slightly when I tell it to him, I'm not sure why. I do not tell him how challenging Mr. James seems to be and I do not tell him that he could be really handsome if he was not such a prick and maybe gained a little weight. In fact, I think I manage to give Smurf the impression that Mr. James is elderly and I do nothing to correct it.
"That's great baby. I never liked the way the Louie-guy looked at you."
We have left the table to stand by the bar as he wants another beer, and when he says it he grabs my arse a bit too hard. I do not appreciate it much, both because it feels rough rather than loving and because we are in public, so I shake his hand off.
"Don't be such a bore Molly."
"I just don't like it when you touch me like that in front of others."
"You're my girlfriend, no one will mind."
"I mind. And anyway, Louie was not the reason I quit. The other job just seems better."
"Taking care of a crippled guy?" he looks amused and can see he is about to make another comment about it, when we are interrupted by Katie and her boyfriend joining us.
Sammy is the pleasant surprise of the evening. One after one he deflates all the prejudices I had about him, like pricking holes in a bunch of balloons. He is athlete and extremely good-looking in the somewhat bulgy-muscled way that is not really my type, but obviously Katie´s. He is also smart and funny like usually only guys who have not been able to depend on their looks are, making him an exception from the rule. The best of his traits, though, is that he seemingly adores Katie. I could have forgiven him many faults just for being in love with her, but I genuinely like him. And they match each other better than anyone would have thought. Compared to his tall, athletic frame she suddenly looks almost petite and being in love has turned her very pretty. I'm so happy for them, but also envious, which may seem ridiculous because I'm here with Smurf – but I know we don't quite have what they do and for a moment I long for another place in time. As usual, I do not allow myself to linger there because it is useless and painful.
As I feared earlier, this turns out to be one of those evenings when I get a bit embarrassed over Smurf. When Smurf is sober, his personality is quite dry. I would not go as far as calling it humourless but he is not the one to make me laugh out loud. After a few pints he is very different. His humour does not improve, but he thinks he is hilarious. Talking he does quite much sober too, but when he is drunk he gets very loud and rude. Also, he gets jealous easily and on occasions even mean. I know he does not mean to be so I forgive him, but as long as I'm soberer than him, which I usually am, it makes me embarrassed.
By the time Katie and Sammy arrive I can see by the glossiness of his eyes that he has already had a pint or two too many. He seems to like Sammy, impressed by his looks and his athletic track record – he is on a few different of the university's sports teams. Smurf attempts male bonding with stale jokes that I do not find very entertaining and by the look on their faces, neither do Katie and Sammy.
Like any newfound lovers, Katie and Sammy have a hard time being separated from one another even by a small space and constantly find ways to touch each other little and when Sammy cannot refrain from giving Katie a long passionate kiss that makes me look in the other direction because I'm a bit embarrassed at witnessing such public affection up close, Smurf loudly says to me so everyone else can hear;
"Look there, Molly, there's a girl who doesn't mind her guy fondling her even with people around. It's only you who are so stiff you won't even let me touch your arse."
"Smurf, please…"
"You're so prudish Molly Dawes." He turns to the bar for another beer, I'm not sure how many he has had by now but he certainly does not need a refill.
"Should you really…"
"DON'T even think about saying it! I'm fully capable of deciding what I should drink myself!"
I do not finish the sentence, I realise he is already past the point of this evening when there is any point trying to interfere. Now it is just a question of how bad it will be. With the new beer in hand, he turns to Katie and Sammy, who look a bit uncomfortable about the verbal exchange we have had but Smurf seems completely oblivious to it.
"Have you heard that Molly got herself a new job? A real top job! She will take care of a crippled old man!" His voice is filled with mockery now.
I look at Katie and invisibly shake my head. She gets it immediately and does nothing to correct Smurf's idea that it is an old person I will take care of. Smurf rants on.
"Oh Molly, you just keep exceeding yourself. You dropped uni to work in a café, and now you leave the café to take care of a cripple. Will you have to wipe his arse?"
I have wondered that too, but the way he says it, it sounds so mean, like he despises me and what I do. He bursts into laughter, thinking himself hilarious and never minding the rest of us finds his comment offensive. Now he turns to Katie.
"But Katie, you're such a goodie good girl, stays on track with uni and now you got yourself a man. He's clearly out of your league but he seems happy, so you must do something right. Maybe you let him shag you more often than Molly lets me."
I see their faces crinkle in disgust and Sammy clenches his fists. He would have taken a swing at Smurf if Katie had not taken hold of his elbow to stop him. I just want to sink through the surface of the earth.
"I'm so sorry, he's had too much to drink."
"Don't talk like I'm not here! And I've only gotten started!" Smurf slurs.
"We should go home, Smurf."
I'm not too far away from crying, why does he have to do this? Why can we not have a normal evening and just enjoy ourselves?
"It's Dylan to you! … I'm not going home. I'm going to stay and have some fun, maybe find some girls who like when I touch them."
Now he sounds like a sulking child, although a mean one, and I know I will not manage to get him to come with me, unless I ask Sammy to throw him over his shoulder and carry him and I would not do that. Honestly, I think I need to get away from him for a while. Get some air and clear my head.
"I'm leaving now, I've had enough of this."
I turn to leave, Katie and Sammy joining me. I hear Smurf shout behind me.
"Just go Molly Daaaawes, get your stiff little arse out of here! I'm anyway only second best to you!"
The worst thing is, he is right.
I said one of Smurf qualities is that he usually does not have higher expectations on my feelings for him than I can deliver, but tonight is clearly an exception to that and even if he has been an idiot, I'm the one leaving with a bad conscience and a feeling I need to make it up to him tomorrow when he is sober and nice again. He would probably not be drinking too much or be mean if I just could give him what he needs.
As we leave, I feel Katie's arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her.
"Oh, Molly you shouldn't have to put up with this."
But I don't expect that I can get any better, not when I'm not willing to invest my soul in it.
Apologies to any fans of Smurf for making him an asshole, but having seen Iwan Rheon in the role of Ramsay Bolton in Game of thrones, it's not that difficult to picture him as a bad guy I think.
