It was 1 pm in Beach City. The sun was still up in the sky, and didn't look like it was coming down anytime soon. A seagull was pecking at fry crumbs on the boardwalk. A crab marched along the shore, getting pushed around by the tides. A pink lion was sprawled out on the cliff by the temple, bathing in the spring sun's rays. A teenage Steven Quartz Universe moping on the couch, glancing at his watch every now and then.
The warp pad burst with light as the Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl returned from a mission.
"Oh, Steven, what's wrong?" asked a concerned Pearl.
Steven sighed. "Connie's still at school and won't be back for another two hours. Who would want to waste all their time at a school?"
"Steven, humans have to go to school." said Pearl as she and Amethyst sat down on the couch next to the teenage boy. "If humans didn't have an education, then they wouldn't last at least a year on Earth. School teaches all the basic necessities of life."
"Why else would Connie be so smart?" added Amethyst, who was fiddling with her hair. "If you ask me, high school isn't so bad. It's actually more like preschool for tall people."
"How would you guys know? Have you even gone to high school? What was it like for you?" Steven said with an eyebrow raised.
Pearl looked very baffled by this series of questions. "Well….uuhhh…ummm…. Garnet? Amethyst? Could you meet with me in the kitchen quickly?"
The gems all went into the kitchen. By the sound of the whispers, Steven knew his guardians were discussing something serious. Finally they came back into the living room.
"Steven," said Garnet, who had an unnatural smile on her face. "Tell us what you think high school was like for us."
The teenager's eyes light up and turned into stars. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Steven was bouncing up and down in his seat. "I have a whole thing prepared! Hold on, I'll be right back."
Steven rushed to his bed and pulled out his laptop from under it. He brought it down to the living room and opened it up to his FanFric account.
"Okay, here it goes…"
Highschool Gems
by Steven Universe
It was a bright sunny morning at Steven High. Steven High was the only high school on earth for gems, good and bad alike. Today started another page in the lives of the High School gems.
"Wakey wakey!" whispered Pearl to a sleeping Amethyst. "Come on Amethyst-chan! Wake up!" The purple one was still fast asleep. "Garnet-chan! Can you help me with Amethyst?"
The tall red fusion put the bagel she was eating down and came to Amethyst. Garnet picked Amethyst up by the sides and gave the sleeping purple gem a long, satisfying kiss on the mouth. Immediately Amethyst woke up.
"Oh, good morning Garnet-chan!" said Amethyst who was blushing dark purple from that lip-lock.
"Come on Amethyst-chan," said the tall red gem as she continued nibbling on the bagel. "Take a shower and get dressed."
The Crystal schoolgirls left their dorm and headed to the courtyard where they would hang out before class started. They sat on their favorite bench under the cherry blossom tree. Pearl took out her favorite trashy romantic manga and started to read, while Garnet and Amethyst finished their breakfast.
Suddenly, a powerful stream of wind hit the gems. Amethyst and Garnet grabbed the bench tightly, while Pearl was knocked to the ground. Her schoolgirl skirt was blown upwards, making Pearl look like an inside umbrella in a hurricane.
"Ha! Wearing the rose patterns, Pearl?" Pearl blushed and pulled her blue down. She looked up to see who and what had caused that giant gust. In the middle of the courtyard was a giant fan.
Behind that fan were the Homeworld schoolgirls: Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, and Jasper. The three of them were cackling like crazy. Jasper, the leader of the gang nearly fell over laughing.
"Looks like we got you guys again!" called Peridot from behind the fan. "How does if feel knowing you only have one big fan?"
"You three better run, or you'll have to answer to me!" yelled Garnet, who rolled up her sleeves.
"Make us, Clod!" responded Peridot.
"Dork!"
"BlockHead!"
"Mountain Dew!"
"Stop Sign!"
"DORITO HEAD!"
"SQUARE MOM!"
The bell rung. It was time for class. Amethyst and Pearl pulled Garnet backwards while Jasper and Peridot grinned smugly.
"C'mon. Let's not waste our time around the "Sailor Scouts" here." said Jasper as she and Peridot started to stroll back to school. "Lapis! You coming?"
The timid Lapis Lazuli stood there, stiff as a board, shivering, with a traumatized look on her face.
"Lapis!"
"Yes, Japser-san." the blue girl murmured as she took off after the other two.
Garnet finally calmed down. "When it's lunchtime, meet me back out here. We're gonna get back at those bakas."
"Oh, can't we meet at the library?" whined Pearl, the smartest gem in the school. "Libraries are the most effective planning spaces." Pearl practically lived in the library.
"Whatever floats your boat." replied Garnet. After a quick group hug, the three gems all rushed to class.
After the lunch bell rang, Pearl was the earliest to the library. This meant more time to read that dirty romance manga at the circle table without being judged. The pale skinned gem tugged on her collar while she explored the page-turner. "Whoo boy…" Pearl moaned. The intriguing literature was making her blush and sweat. Pearl never realized that Garnet and Amethyst had been standing by the table for the past five minutes.
"Pearl-chan." said the fusion with her arms crossed.
"Oop!" The flustered Pearl quickly hid the graphic novel under her chair. "So, what's the plan? How are we going to get revenge?"
"I was thinking a water bucket prank." Amethyst said giggling. "But here's the catch. Inside the bucket, is a, wait for it, CROCODILE(jazz hands)!"
"Amethyst-chan, I'm pretty sure a crocodile wouldn't fit in a bucket."
"Aw man. "Oh! How about we duct tape their door shut, and then tape a CROCODILE on it!"
"Wouldn't we need at least 100 rolls of tape?"
"Oh, right. How about we hide a CROCODILE in their bed?"
"Where are we going to get a crocodile?"
"Aaaaaawww! Quit shooting down my ideas!" Amethyst had a transforming problem, and whenever she got whiny, the gem turned all chibi-like.
Garnet intervened. "Pearl-chan, we need to think of ideas together, and Amethyst-chan, change back before you hurt yourself." Chibi-Amethyst strained and strained to no avail. "Come on. Lemme take you to the nurse's office."
The taller gem picked Amethyst up and walked out of the library. Meanwhile Pearl was pondering what could possibly get back at the Homeworld Gems. Flour? No. Butter? Nope. Pearl flipped through her manga while trying to come up with a plan. Oh my, he turned on the shower? Way to go Mr. Universe, that water must be very hot. Pearl's eye's lit up.
"I GOT IT!" cried Pearl at the top of her lungs. She expected for everyone else to go "Shh!" but realized that no one ever goes to the library anyway. Pearl raced out of the library to the nurse's office to lay out the plan to Amethyst and Garnet.
Later that night in the dorm of the Homeworld Gems, Jasper was getting ready to shower up after beating everyone into the ground during the volleyball game.
"Did you see the look on the other team's face when we won?" Jasper called to Peridot, who was getting in on some online gaming. "The purple runt's face turned all chibi-looking!"
Peridot put down her headset. "Don't you worry that those Crystal gems will be out for revenge?"
"Nah, I'm sure they learned their lesson, isn't that right Lapis?"
The blue girl was watching "Legend of Aquamarine" on T.V. This show was her only escape from the other two gems.
"Lapis," Jasper yelled from the bathroom. "Answer me or you sleep on the floor tonight!"
"Yes Jasper-San."
Meanwhile, the Garnet and Amethyst were in the basement by the Homeworld Gem's water pipe. They had gotten two dozen kettles of boiling water. Pearl was up in the cherry blossom tree in the courtyard with binoculars and a walkie-talkie.
"Pearl-chan," Garnet said into the walkie-talkie. "Give us the status. Over."
"Jasper is about to step in, I repeat, Jasper is about to step in. Get in your positions. Over." As soon as Pearl saw Jasper open the shower curtains, she covered her eyes (I mean who wouldn't? This is Jasper we're talking about) and called the other two. "Now!"
Garnet immediately ripped open the pipe. Amethyst grabbed the kettles of boiling water and started to pour them into the pipe of rushing water. Steam started to fill up the basement as the purple gem continued to empty out the kettles.
From up in the tree, Pearl peaked through her hand covering her eyes to see that the plan worked: Jasper was freaking out and had a huge red mark on her back.
From behind the closed bathroom door, Jasper was yelling at a volume that made Peridot fall out of her chair. She got back up and then started to talk into her headset to the other player, "KeepBeachCityWired478."
"Yeah, something's up again. I'll have to talk to you tomorrow." Peridot put the shut down her laptop to see what was going on. "Jasper! What's going on!"
Jasper grabbed a towel to cover herself and angrily pointed at the shower.
"Oh come on, it's just water. It shouldn't be that bad." Peridot stuck her green detached fingers into the running water.
"Pearl to Garnet-chan. The plan was a success. Over." All three of the gems burst into hysteric laughter. Back in the dorm, they celebrated their victory by making tea from the last kettle that they saved for later that night.
"I can't believe this!" Peridot said as she put her hand in a bucket of ice. "This has to be the work of those Crystal clods. We have to come up with a revenge strategy at once, but first..."
"Hey Lapis!" Peridot called to the blue gem. "Your turn to shower!"
"Yes Peridot-chan." The green and orange gems held in their laughter as Lapis Lazuli came into the bathroom.
The next morning, the Crystal Schoolgirls were doing laps at the pool.
"Man! Those idiots sure learned their lesson didn't they?" Amethyst chuckled as she climbed out of the pool. The other two nodded in agreement. "They better not mess with uuuhhhhh…." The purple gem's forehead turned blue as she backed away from the pool. Garnet and Pearl looked down into the water and could not believe their eyes.
It the pool was contaminated with blood, so much that it was impossible to see the bottom of the pool. Quickly, the red and pale gems scrambled out of the pool and grabbed towels to wipe away all the blood.
"Who would do such a thing?" Pearl asked, still catching her breath.
"It was Jasper and Peridot." Lapis approached the gems looking worried. "They know that you were the ones who messed with the shower. They won't stop at nothing until you three are run out of the school, but I can help you prank them."
Garnet got into her "hands-on-hips" position. "And why should we let you help us?"
"Cause I'm tired of all the abuse and bullying that comes with living with them. Every day they make me feel worthless. If I can repay them just once, maybe they'll see that I'm something. Please, just let me do this with you."
Garnet thought for a while. "Pearl-chan?"
"Well she is the only person who can help us into their dorm."
Garnet put her hand on Lapis's shoulder. "You got yourself a deal."
It was midnight. When the other Homeworld gems were asleep, Lapis opened the door and gave Amethyst Pearl and Garnet the signal. The four of the tiptoed in and went to work.
Lapis got a bowl of warm water to put Jasper's hand in while Pearl unloaded a jar of ants in the bed. Meanwhile. Garnet took out a rope and tied Peridot up like a California roll while Amethyst got out the permanent black marker and got busy on the blank canvas that was Peridot's hair. When she was done, she put a tiny stovepipe hat on her artwork. Hopefully enough, when the two woke up, they would notice that Jasper wet the bed that's infested with ants, and Peridot is tied up and has a one eyed, top hatted thing with arms and legs on the back of her head where her hair should be.
The gems snuck out of the room giggling. They all covered their ears as Garnet opened the door a crack and stuck an air horn through. She then proceeded to let it rip. Instantly the four dashed all the way out into the courtyard where they were sure they wouldn't be found. By then Amethyst was all tuckered out from the experience and fast asleep, but who could blame her? She was pretty much a child. Garnet picked Amethyst up and headed back to the dorm, leaving Pearl and Lapis alone on the bench under the tree.
"Pearl-chan?" Lapis asked.
"Yes Lapis-chan?"
"I just wanted to say thank you for letting me join you and the others. No one else has ever been that kind."
"Aaww, well really…"
"It's just that I always get so lonely, even when I'm around people."
Pearl embraced the teary eyed blue gem, who wrapped her arms around Pearl.
But Pearl never expected what would happen next. Lapis's lips met Pearl's. The pale gem tried to break free but eventually lost the battle. Pearl pulled Lapis closer to her body, enjoying every moment. Lapis kissed Pearl's smooth neck while Pearl stroked the gem on Lapis's back. The two eventually proceeded to make out for what seemed like hours.
The End
"So, whaddya think?" Steven asked as he finished the story.
Garnet's jaw dropped. Amethyst had by coincidence, transformed into Chibi-Amethyst with a shocked expression. Pearl blushed as blue as the sky.
Garnet started. "Steven?"
"Yes?"
"This was a high school story right?"
"Umm.. Yes?"
"Then that must explain why we learned a lot."
