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Empathizing
Chapter Four: Bruised, But Not Broken
Rosalie's Point of View
It was both heartbreaking and terrifying to listen to Bella brokenly relate her experiences as she clearly was being forced to relive them through her memories. We were trying to 'wake her up' but it wasn't working, damn it!
"Bella!" I called frantically to the girl in my mother's, my sister's, and my arms. And she moved! Thank God!
Bella scrambled towards the sound of my voice, climbing rapidly onto my lap and burying her face in my shoulder. She clung to me as tightly as she could and I wrapped my arms around her slender frame. She was sobbing as she held on to me and I wished so much that there was something I could do, but all I could do was hold her.
Alice and Esme's eyes showed their relief and distress. Alice tried to put her hand on Bella's shoulder but our sister flinched away from her. I could see the flicker of hurt on Alice's face before it was almost immediately washed away by the tidal wave of concern and love in her eyes. Bella pulled her legs up in order to make herself as small as she possibly could while still remaining in my lap.
"Shh… Just let it out. It's okay, Bella. You're safe, I promise. I'm here. I'm here and I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise," I soothed her while my arms encircled her, rubbing her back gently. A small whimper escaped her lips and it broke my heart. I just held her while she sobbed, whispering softly to her in an effort to calm her. I hated that she had to endure this. It wasn't right…
"Bella?" Alice asked anxiously, her worry for Bella clear in the small vampire's voice. I heard the devastated human girl on my lap give a small sniffle in response. "Bella, is it okay if Esme and I hug you?" she asked carefully and I felt Bella nod against my shoulder. Alice was definitely on the right track there – with the memories so fresh in her mind, Bella would be terrified by anyone touching her unless she was given the choice first.
Alice and Esme were immediately on either side of me and Bella, wrapping their arms lightly around her. "I'm so sorry my sweet sister. So sorry…" Alice kept whispering apologies in Bella's ear, her grief evident in every syllable.
"Shh… I know, Bella. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, my daughter." Esme's voice was soft and Bella's sobs increased just the slightest bit.
"M-Mommy," she cried, and I felt her shift over so that she was now between Esme and I, clinging to us both.
All three of us did our best to soothe her, although we would be crying, too, if we could. Bella's tears ran in hot streams down her cheeks for an immeasurable time before they slowed and finally stopped. I could tell that she was tired but she was fighting it. I knew instantly what the problem was – she didn't want to have to see it all again as she slept.
"Shh… It's okay, Bella. You can sleep. We'll watch over you. I won't let anyone hurt you again, Bella," I said tenderly, meaning every word, and Bella yawned.
"Love you, Rosalie," she murmured, exhausted by the emotional overload, on top of her already long day. I squeezed her just a little tighter before relaxing.
"I love you, too, Bella," I said softly as I gently pressed my cool lips to the top of her head in a soft kiss. I could tell that she was asleep now, and I only hoped that she would sleep peacefully in my arms.
We were all silent for a moment as we watched her carefully before we tensed. "No…" Bella murmured and my eyes fell shut. Please, no… Please, don't make her live through it again… If she showed even the slightest sign of distress, I swear to God I would wake her up – tired or not, I couldn't bear to watch her relive that again.
Bella's heartbeat started to accelerate. "Please… No…" she murmured. My still heart clenched painfully and I was just about to wake her, but Alice stopped me.
"Wait," she instructed and I frowned along with Esme. Why…
A small smile played on Bella's lips now and she relaxed once more. "Rosalie… My Angel…" she sighed and I froze before instantly melting.
I smiled at Bella softly and leaned down next to her ear. "You're safe, Bella. I love you, little sister," I whispered and could feel the small amount of silent surprise emanating from my mother and pixie-like sister.
"I love you, Rose…" she murmured before her heartbeat slowed and I knew from her breathing that she had slipped into a deep sleep. Still, I continued to hold her in my arms. I had promised that I would keep her safe and I would. I would make sure nothing ever hurt her again, if I could help it…
All three of us were silent for a while before I decided to carry Bella up to bed. Carefully, I stood and made my way up the stairs. I didn't even think about if before I carried Bella into my room rather than up to Edward's. I cradled my little sister in one arm as I pulled back the covers on the bed and tucked her beneath them. Immediately afterwards, I had blurred over so that I was next to where I had lain her in the center of the large bed.
It was then I remembered my audience. I looked up to see my mother and other sister standing in the doorway of my bedroom with slightly surprised looks on their faces, although their expressions were still largely dominated by anger, horror, and sadness. Esme motioned for me to follow them out, and I frowned and looked to Bella. I didn't want to leave her alone in case she awoke…
Esme must have sensed my dilemma because she moved quietly to my side and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "She'll be okay while we talk, Rose. We're just going to be downstairs; we'll be here if she wakes," she reassured me quietly and I nodded, albeit reluctantly.
Sighing quietly, I followed the two of them downstairs and into the rarely-used dining room. None of us really knew how to start the conversation, so there was silence for some time after we took our seats. I really don't think any of us had really… processed it, yet. It just didn't seem real. Bella was… abused.
And, oh, did it start bringing some things into perspective for me… Yes, I went through something horrible and traumatic, but so did Bella. And while I was the perfect Ice Queen, Bella was the most selfless, loving person I had ever met – and likely would ever meet. It was… unbelievable.
Eventually, a shift seemed to occur in the room as we all processed and realized: Yes, this happened. Yes, Bella was abused. The question now? What do we do about it? How do we help her? What. Do. We. Do?
Esme sighed shakily and broke the seemingly-endless silence. "I can't believe that she had to go through that…" she murmured sadly, devastation written in her eyes.
Alice nodded in agreement, still looking a little stunned. "I… You know that I don't remember my human life, so I… I literally can't imagine it and I don't know what to do to help her," Alice confessed, her tone a mixture of fear and concern and, above all, love.
I let out a single, humorless laugh. "I really don't think any of us know exactly how to help her," I commented, frowning. Both my mother and sister frowned, too. A shudder ran down my spine as a thought occurred to me.
"How long?" I asked suddenly, a kind of sick determination filling me. I had to know but I was afraid to find out the answer.
"How long what?" Alice asked, confused by my sudden change in subject.
I shook my head back and forth slowly. "How long do you think it went on?" I asked in a whisper and they both drew in sharp breaths. How long did she suffer? How long did the world turn a blind eye to what happened to her – an innocent child?
Esme shivered once. "I don't know," she said desolately. "She… she said that it started when she was ten." She had to practically had to choke the last word out and I had to grit my teeth. Ten…
Alice swallowed thickly. "When we… when she was telling us…" Alice took a deep breath. "She mentioned something about being twelve, then," she said quietly and my eyelids fell shut. At least two years…
"At least two years…" Esme's horrified whisper echoed my own thoughts. I couldn't even imagine the kind of hell she must have endured – and all at such a young age. I had experienced one night of torment – she faced years of it.
"She's so incredibly strong," I said, my disbelief and pride evident in my tone. What a fool I was to misjudge her so completely. I would never have guessed that she possessed such strength. I admired her for it, but at the same time I wished with all my might that she had not had to live through all of that.
They both nodded in agreement with me. Alice grimaced. "I think…" she began before pausing to take a deep breath. "I think this really explains a lot," she breathed out and both Esme and I looked at her in confusion.
"What do you mean, Alice?" I asked my sister. Explained what?
Alice ran a hand through her short hair. "I think… this explains why Bella is the way she is," she admitted, but I still didn't understand and I could see that Esme didn't either. "I can't be a hundred percent sure but I think this is why she's so insecure. This is why she doesn't like attention. And this is why she's so observant," Alice smiled sadly and I froze.
"Of course…" I murmured. It all made sense now. Bella was insecure because they made her feel worthless, tore her apart in every way possible, and ruthlessly destroyed any shred of self-confidence that existed in her. Those good for nothing, low-life bastards…
"You're exactly right," Esme said quietly, intense sadness visible in her expression, making me realize that I had spoken aloud without noticing. "Oh, my poor daughter…" she frowned. "All three of my daughters," she added, glancing at Alice and I.
My sister and I exchanged a glance. Alice's and my situations were kind of like opposites. I remembered my human life. She didn't remember hers. I remembered the hell I went through. She didn't know what kind of torment she endured. I hated knowing with every fiber of my being. She hated not knowing with every fiber of hers. We were opposite. But we understood each other and long ago agreed to disagree on the everlasting question of knowledge: Was it better to know, or not?
And then there was Esme. Our mother, too, had suffered. Each of us had endured our own personal hells and sustained damage from them - and the damage inflicted upon Bella remained unclear as of yet. And yes, we were bruised. But we weren't broken. Because we had each other.
Alice sighed. "This is the reason that she's so observant. She watches everything and everyone," she said and I nodded in agreement with my mother.
"But not for the sake of watching. She looks for danger, for threats. She looks out for herself because, from what we've heard, no one else ever did – not even her own damn mother!" I began by speaking softly but I spat out the last part. Having heard Bella's broken relation of her memories had left fury coursing in my icy veins.
Esme growled quietly so as not to wake Bella. "That woman doesn't even deserve the title of mother!" she hissed and I silently agreed with her, neither Alice nor I daring to interfere at right this moment. "A mother protects her children, keep them safe from harm. She doesn't disregard them and throw them to the sharks!" she snarled and I agreed with every word she spoke. We fell silent for a few moments.
Alice looked at me curiously, although still sadly. "Rose, not that I'm complaining at all because I'm not, but…" she paused and I looked at her expectantly. "Why did you call Bella 'little sister' earlier?" she asked and I could see the curiosity in Esme's eyes too. I smiled a little. I knew that they would ask.
I sighed and ran a hand through my gold tresses. "Because that's what she is and always has been," I shook my head as I admitted that. "I just didn't want to admit it at first because it scared me. And, to be honest, I finally realized just what an idiot I've been for trying to shut her out," I confessed and they smiled at me, although Esme had a glint in her eye as she examined me.
"What do you mean, she 'always has been'?" she asked me quietly and I frowned, trying to think of a good way to explain it before it came to me.
"Ever since the first time I saw her, I felt very… protective of her. And I didn't understand it – how I could feel such a thing for someone I just met, and a human at that – so I lashed out at the most convenient target. Bella," I smiled sadly and the two of them were watching me curiously, although Esme seemed to feel an odd sense of vindication.
"I love her and I want to protect her like a big sister should. No offense, Alice, but you and Bella are best friends and sisters, making you sort of more the same age," I explained and Alice smiled and nodded. "But… to tell the truth, I always wanted a little sister. And there's just something inside of me that says that she's it and makes me want to protect her," I tried to explain and they nodded, Esme smiling at me softly.
"Now, what are we going to do?" Alice asked, glancing between our mother and I. The only problem? We just didn't know… But I did know one thing.
I shook my head. "I don't what we should do to help her in the long run. Bella's different than any of us, so what worked with us won't necessarily work for her. But I do know one thing," I paused and gave a small smile. "We're going to be there for her. Because I intend to keep my promise. I won't let anyone or anything hurt her again. And we're going to be there when she needs us, because we love her and because no one else ever was," I said firmly and they nodded in agreement.
It was beginning to get light outside now. I don't think any of us had realized how much time had passed. In silent agreement, the three of us rose and hurried up to my bedroom, each of our breath catching at the sight before us.
Bella was still asleep in the middle of the bed and she just looked so… peaceful, especially compared to last night. In this state of deep unconsciousness, there were no memories, no pain to haunt her. She was at peace and it was beautiful, amazing really. We stayed like that, each moving to carefully take a place on the bed with her, watching as (in a rare occurrence) the sun rose over this drizzly little town and my sister slept soundly in spite of all the hell she had been through…
To Be Continued.
A/N (Original): Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Review and leave me your ideas, comments, concerns, etc. Thanks guys!
