Yet another one-shot. This idea was crawling in my head and wouldn't come out...

NOTE, please. Kouji is still a vice-captain in this chapter. These one-shots skip around the timeline, but eventually every major event will be covered. So, yes. They are discussing events that you do not understand yet. Rest assured that you will be fully able to click the back button and reread any chapter that you want, including this one, when I reveal more of what's going on.

Also, the infamous St. Patrick's day incident has been posted, which is somewhat of a lemon. It's a link on my profile.

EDIT: I have edited this chapter to clean it up...it's still not completely satisfactory, but at least it's better.


FOOL

"What're you doing?" Izumi slipped off the bed and landed on the floor, where her vice captain had stowed himself in a wall of comforters.

He swatted her away and she huffed slightly. In retribution for ignoring her, Izumi reached over the pillowcase and stole away his eraser. The results were instantaneous. Kouji jerked up, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her halfway into his lap. The awkward position threw hair all over her face, which Izumi was very grateful for.

She squawked weakly. "Kouji, let me go!"

That got her a raised eyebrow. "Izumi," he drawled her name out slowly, as if he was tasting it with his tongue, "I need my eraser back."

"You could've asked," she retorted huffily. Hopefully she wasn't blushing. If she was, hopefully he wouldn't see it. Izumi didn't have much hope.

"You could've asked, too."

She muttered something nonsensical and sneaked a look at what he was doing. A thick pile of papers rested on the floor in front of him, looking much like a history assignment. The first page was nothing but dates and significant events, running for about three centuries. Izumi rubbed her fingernail on the picture of a man with a very long beard. "What's this for?"

Kouji's hands were cool and almost professional as he pushed her off. "A research project. I'm doing mine on Korea."

"But you're Japanese?"

"Kanbura took Japan before the sign ups were even open." He sounded so aggravated that Izumi had to laugh. Class clown Kanbura, who probably did it just to spite her vice captain. She had to admire the guy's guts, if not his self-preservation instinct. When she turned around, Kouji was back to flipping through the thick packet. Every once in a while he would take notes on the margin, but otherwise nothing but his eyes would move across the page.

And, of course, he never once touched the eraser.

"Kouji," she said, partly to break the silence and partly to make sure he was still alive.

He eventually muttered, "Why are you still talking?"

Stung, Izumi whipped around and crossed her arms. "Because we haven't had a fight in six days. And supposedly if we make it to seven, Shibayama has to ask me out."

That got his attention. His eyes darted around the room, staring first at her, then at the closet behind her. "What?"

"I said, supposedly if we make - "

"I know that." Kouji waved her off, which made Izumi steam a little more. "When exactly did they agree on this?"

She opened and closed her mouth. His reaction was surprisingly laid back, all things considered. Izumi wondered briefly if he even knew what embarrassment was. Kouji raised an eyebrow at her silence, and finally reached over to knock on her head.

Izumi went down and blinked. Then she glared up at the bastard who was leaning over her, looking superior. "How should I know?"

"You're on the team."

"You're the vice captain!"

He had the gall to smirk at her. "It's only fair."

Realizing that she was lying down, which gave her a disadvantage if she wanted to yell at him, Izumi stretched forward and let her foot hit him in the jaw on the way up. Or rather, it would have hit his jaw if he hadn't neatly evaded the incoming limb without even glancing in her direction. Jerk.

They stayed like that for a while, Izumi staring at him with barely restrained hostility. Her hands itched for a shinai to bash his face with. If she managed to catch him weaponless, all the better. True, the likeliness of that happening was a negative number, but she could always dream, right?

He caught her eye and smirked, as if to say that she was wrong, and might as well learn to deal with it.

That just made her even angrier. Izumi quietly chanted a mantra of "I won't kill the stupid idiotic arrogant jerk, I won't kill the stupid idiotic arrogant jerk..."

She was suddenly interrupted when Kouji actually pulled her onto his lap - again! - and quietly mocked her, "So, Missus Almost-Vice-Captain...aren't you glad that someone's interested in you?"

"No, I'm not! It's annoying when people ask me because they're dared to!"

His voice was full of feigned politeness. "Perhaps you just scare all the boys away."

Oh, he did not just say that.

...

He did.

Izumi bit her lip and felt like she might cry, that's how angry she was. She was, however, conveniently close to his chest, so she shoved her elbow between them and hit him straight in the solar plexus. His growl of pain - while immensely satisfying - was not quite as agonized as it could have been. Not a big surprise, considering how well-developed the muscles of Kouji's abdomen were.

Normally, when Kouji led them to win tournaments, she considered his fitness a good thing. But it was so annoying when she couldn't get a good hit in. She had to comfort herself with the knowledge that she was doing the team a favor by restraining herself from fixing whatever was wrong in his head. After all, uninjured people usually fought better. It was probably the same principle that kept Kouji from beating the rest of the team up when they started fooling around during practice.

Said vice captain was currently restraining her entire body with his arms, forcing her to straddle him if she didn't want to strain the muscles of her stomach. How annoying.

The awkward position of her torso forced Izumi to face him directly. Kouji peered at her and asked, "Does this count as a fight, do you think?"

She hissed furiously, "I think it does. You made your point. Get off!"

"Technically, you're the one who has to get off." He was smirking broadly. Izumi wrenched her hand free, but Kouji suddenly changed his position until he was directly on top of her, "And now, it's me."

"So. Get. Off."

"Naturally," he said, smirking.

Izumi growled. "Well?"

Kouji blinked at her. "Never said I was going to do it now." And then he waited for the fireworks to start.

He wasn't disappointed.

She screamed at him for the better part of an hour. By the end of it, both of them had ringing ears and strained voice boxes, and Izumi never wanted to talk to him again. Never ever ever. In order to impress this fact upon him, she muttered, "If I have to talk to you again in this lifetime, it would be too soon."

"What about the next life?"

"You actually believe in reincarnation and all that? Never took you for a Buddhist."

He scoffed slightly. "Hermeticist, actually."

"A what?"

Kouji tilted his head and smirked. Seriously, was there anything more to his life than an enormous superiority complex? Izumi doubted it.

"Excuuuuse me," she said, frowning, "but I'm not a religious studies major...unlike someone."

"Oh, I know," he waved her off dismissively. "Because not everyone can pay attention in class like me."

She sputtered. "That's just - "

"So true? I know."

Izumi knew that he was expecting that kick to the shins, but she couldn't resist. Likewise, he couldn't seem to resist pinning her down again and actually holding her there with his greater body weight. Izumi hissed. "Off, Minamoto!"

"Oh, so it's Minamoto again," he commented offhandedly, twirling a single strand of golden hair with his left thumb. Every once in a while, the feather-light lock would brush against her cheek, and tempted by the proximity of his hand, Izumi would try to bite it. Kouji snickered softly.

Izumi flushed when she felt his chest rumbling softly, reminding her of how close he was right now. Kouji didn't seem to notice it yet. All the more reason to get him off before he did. "Yes," she hissed through gritted teeth, "Because you don't deserve to be called vice-captain yet."

Something flashed in his eyes. Izumi realized that her plan had backfired when Kouji caught hold of her shoulders and kissed her roughly. His lips were hot and insistent and a little angry, and she opened her mouth slowly because maybe, just maybe, it would let her catch him off guard. And maybe, just maybe...she would be able to punch him. Or keep kissing him. Whichever.

Kouji ended up pulling her completely into his lap and spreading her soft, thick hair with his hand. Izumi fumbled slightly with the change in position, but eventually found a comfortable spot with her legs pointed out and knees tucked up against his thighs. It only took a few short, breathless kisses before he moved on to the curve of her neck and down and...

"Kouji," she breathed out. "Not here. And I'm still mad at you."

He groaned quietly, but didn't stop moving down her shoulder. "If not here, then where?"

Oh, of course he would completely disregard the second half of what she said. Izumi actually wrenched his hand out of her hair and placed it firmly at his side. He made a disgruntled sound from the back of his throat and she almost gave in. His dark eyes were watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest, which quickened when she realized just where he was looking.

"You really should stop," Kouji said suddenly, pulling her up against him and dumping her onto his bed. Izumi was curled up in a little ball, staring at him, while he grabbed the notes that were scattered all over the floor - when did that happen? - and joined her there.

"Stop what?" she asked, voice muffled by the thick comforter.

"Doing things like that if you're not planning on following through."

Izumi blinked and gaped at him. "I'm not doing anything."

Kouji snorted. "And that's why you were in my room."

"So sorry. I wasn't aware that going to someone's unlocked room was a crime nowadays."

He scoffed. "It used to be. Especially for unmarried girls, way back - "

"Uh-uh." Izumi reached over and tapped his lips with her index finger. "Don't you dare turn this into a history lesson."

"I could turn this into something else, if that makes you happy," he offered, with a slow smirk on his face.

She opened her mouth and growled. "Kouji, I really want to beat you on the head with a katana."

Kouji glared at her. "That is not the proper way to use a katana."

"Oh, so now you want to be decapitated? Be my guest!"

"I'd rather you be mine."

Izumi stared at him. Then she turned around and curled up. "If you lay a finger on me, consider yourself infertile, got it?"

"What about an arm?"

Her back tensed up like a bowstring, and she finally replied, rather stiffly, "I have a roll of sandpaper in my purse. Would you like to learn how it feels?"

He promptly shut up. They lay on Kouji's bed like that for a long time, with Izumi trying and failing to take a nap, and Kouji carefully marking up his research as if he didn't have a girl right next to him. Then she suddenly got up and practically jumped on his back. He jerked in surprise and ended up rolling off the edge of the bed. If it hadn't been for her reflexes, Izumi would have ended up under him as they tumbled, but she pulled herself out by holding onto the blankets.

The sheets came undone and she fell down chaotically. Kouji hissed softly when her weight settled roughly on his chest, but her grip on the fabric managed to slow it all down so that it was only painful, not life-threatening. Then he got up and shook her. "What on earth were you thinking?"

She pouted slightly at him. "I wanted to hit you."

He blinked. "...That's it?" Izumi glared in response and turned away. And a good thing that she did, because otherwise, she would have seen Kouji try to conceal his grin - and fail miserably. After a few attempts at talking without letting out a strangled laugh, Kouji pushed her against the side of the mattress and opened his desk.

Izumi watched, curiously. "What're you...?"

He pulled out a few crumpled bills and threw them at her. "Cafeteria should still be open. Get me some cheesecake."

"Wait a sec," Izumi scowled, "Why would I walk all the way over to the cafeteria just to buy you cheesecake?"

Kouji blinked. "I'll share it with you?"

She opened and closed her mouth, grudgingly. "Fine. Which kind?"

"Whatever you want."

"Chocolate," she said firmly, watching his eyes roll skyward in exasperation. "Hey, you offered."

"And now I'll never see any of it," he muttered. "Shoo, shoo." He waved her off.

"Hey. 'M not a fly, you know. You have to actually pretend to be polite."

"Of course you're not a fly. Flies don't eat cheesecake. And how am I not polite?" he asked mockingly.

"Oh, let me count the ways - "

"Okay, fine," he cut in, rolling his eyes. "What specifically were you complaining about just now?"

"...I don't remember. Oh! That's right, I wanted to hear you say 'see you later' or something like that. Not 'shoo, shoo.'" She crossed her arms and gave him a pointed smile.

He snorted. "Alright. See you soon, Orimoto."

"Mm-hm, see you, Minamoto. I'll be back with your cheesecake - or at least half of it." Izumi nodded to herself, rather satisfied.

"Oh, no, don't push yourself," he smirked. "If you want it all...who am I to get between a hungry girl and her sugar fix?"

"Oh hush!" She shoved him playfully and flounced out.

When the sound of her footsteps faded down the hallway, Kouji spun around and dragged his closet door open. "Now, then. Shibayama, care to explain a few things to me...?"