Disclaimer: I don't own Ben 10.
Chapter 4 – His fault
The first thing that came to mind was that I was dead.
Bright white lights.
White ceilings.
White walls.
White floors.
This had to be heaven, but then something told me that heavens didn't have white beds, nor white machines that go beep, beep, beep. And heavens didn't have that all too familiar smell of hospitals.
Aw man.
I hate hospitals.
Hospitals reminded me of dead people. Well, heaven reminded me of dead people too, but those are and-from-then-on-they-lived-happily-ever-after kind of dead people, and not the oh-gosh-I-can't-hold-on-much-longer kind.
All my life I've been to the hospital for exactly seven times, and not once did I ever liked it. The first was when I was born. I guess I couldn't have done anything about it then, but I'm sure I must have been terribly scared by all those people in white.
The second time was when three. I was jumping on my bed when I fell down and broke my head. I was out cold when I was carried to the hospital, but by some chance I woke right before the operation was about to begin. The machines totally freaked me out.
For the third time, my Grandpa Sean, a.k.a. my mum's dad, got sick, so my family went to visit him. That was the last time I ever saw him.
During first grade, our class went to the hospital to donate blood. The nurse who was in charge of me made five tries before she stuck the needle in the right place. I didn't usually cry, but I couldn't help it. That was the forth visit.
My fifth visit was the worst. I was eight at that time, and somehow I caught a high fever that wouldn't go down for days. My parents rushed me to the hospital, and there I stayed for another three weeks before I could leave. I made a friend there – George – but within ten days from knowing each other he died from his fever. That scared the hell out of me.
And it was also why I felt so nervous and restless when Grandpa was raced to the hospital when the rubble rained down on him. The white building reminded me of too many horrible memories.
So you can just understand just how I flew into a total hysterical panic I was when I woke to find myself in the hospital, bandaged from almost head to toe and unable to move one bit.
However, that was nothing when compared to the next thing that happened. I was suddenly being attacked by my cousin's hug of death.
I felt all the air being squeezed out of me. My slowly healing bones were screaming out in protest.
"Gwen! C-can't br-breathe!"
I was about to demand her to let go and tease her for being all mushy and stuff when I realized that she was crying. Taken aback, I saw her face for the first time since I awoke.
Red, puffy eyes. Tearstained cheeks.
This wasn't the Gwen I knew.
Gwen never cried. NEVER. She always said that emotions made one weak. She's the toughest girl in the whole wide world. She didn't even let a single tear fall when she fell off her bike and rolled down the hill when she was five.
She never cried from physical injuries, so that had to mean…
"You IDIOT!" I tried to recall what I did to upset her, even though my mind was a complete blank, but before I knew it Gwen was yelling in my face, rivers of salty tears still streaming down uncontrollably. "YOU STUPID DOOFUS! YOU – YOU –!"
I opened my mouth to say something, but just looking at her I was lost for words.
She held tightly onto my shoulders and sobbed her heart out into my chest. Awkwardly I patted her back. I couldn't find words of comfort, not that I was particularly gifted at doing that. Besides, I didn't know what her problem was.
We were never the best of friends, but seeing her so broken, so miserable, I felt my heart aching for her. And that was pretty extreme, because I had never really felt bad for anyone except myself before, and honestly couldn't imagine myself feeling bad for that dweeb.
But that was just what I was doing right now.
If only I knew what was upsetting her. It had to be something that I'd done wrong. I mean, there was no way she'd be breaking down like that because I got hurt. I've gotten myself bruised all over for over a million times when I was kicking alien butt, and all I had ever got from her were a few sadistic remarks and sarcastic comments.
Well, to be fair I've never been this injured that I had to be hospitalized, but still…
While I continued smoothing my cousin's shivering back and casting constant worried looks at Grandpa, who was just sitting next to me, I racked my brains to remember how ended up in a hospital, wrapped in bandages. I tried to recall how I got all these broken bones, but somehow, I couldn't. All I could remember was big flash of yellow light. I couldn't even tell you what happened before that.
"Gwen?" I finally said, rather uncertainly, when her violent sobs gradually came to a stop. "What did I do?"
She stared at me, eyes all misty, as if I had just asked the dumbest question in the world. I probably had, but seriously, I needed some answers.
But instead of answering, my doofus of a cousin ran out of the room.
There was a moment's silence.
"Uh, Grandpa?" I said, staring bewildered at the empty doorway. "What just happened?"
I was zooming up and down as Stinkfly in the Null Void, chased by two of my worst enemies, Mr. Octopus face and Kevin 11. I would probably have been dead by now if not for the Master Control, and I'll have to thank my lucky stars and the creator of the Omnitrix for that, whoever he was.
Anyway, I managed to throw them off my trail for a bit, which was a good thing, because it gave me a moment to catch my breath, which I badly needed. I only slowed down for a bit though, not enough for them to catch up with me just yet.
If only I had listened to Grandpa when he said not to approach the portal. Being the idiot that I was, I didn't listen. Now I'm stuck here in the worst place in the world with the entire universe after my life, with no way out.
I just wished Grandpa would have something up his sleeve and get me out of here. Otherwise, I was just sentenced to a life-long torment with Vilgax and Kevin. I could just see myself fighting each day to stay alive.
I didn't know what I would do for food if I couldn't get out. I doubted that there would be any supermarkets in a place like this.
I decided to keep that matter out of my mind for the time being. If I were to die, I'd go down fighting. That would surely be much more heroic than being starved to death.
I thought I heard something behind me, so I sped up. I didn't even bother to take a look.
"Not without Ben!"
I gasped when I heard my name, and the all so familiar voice of my dear cousin. I spun around, trying to locate the source. I scanned the area from top to bottom, but there was no sign of the red-headed dweeb anywhere…
"Wait…what's that smell?"
Ooof! I slammed into something small and soft that had by some means gotten in my way. Blinking my four eyes and trying to get the dizziness out of my head, I found myself face to face with my cousin, and my heart leapt with joy. Finally – a person in the Null Void who didn't want me dead.
Grandpa has sent help! I was going to get out of here.
"Gwen!" I shouted happily, "am I glad to see you!"
To my own surprise I held her close with my two front legs and hugged her, and I was in a much greater degree of astonishment when she hugged me back.
I guess even with all those times we were being mean to each other, Gwen really did care.
"The portal's closing," Gwen said urgently, showing me her strange watch with symbols that I had no idea what they meant. "We have to get out of here, now!"
But at that point in time I was distracted, because I had just realized that we were heading straight into the mouth of some gigantic, purplish, earthworm-like monster with fangs too big for my liking. I screamed, and so did Gwen, but I quickly took charge, grabbed my cousin, and dodged its first lunge at us.
It kept on attacking us, but nevertheless it was too slow for Stinkfly. I managed to get us safely out of the way.
Following Gwen's directions, the portal back to our world came to sight in the far distance. However, just as we thought everything would be fine and that we would get away unharmed, Kevin rocketed out of nowhere and grabbed Gwen.
"Going somewhere without your old pal Kevin?" I gritted my teeth as I watched his hold on Gwen tighten by the second.
Before I could do anything, my cousin grabbed her laser gun and shot at Kevin. At first I thought it would work, and that we were free to go at last, but the monster had in some way become laser-proof. The gun didn't hurt him at all. The lasers were subdued by the mere contact to Kevin's skin.
I tried to say something brave, despite the fact that I wasn't feeling courageous at all. Perhaps if I could buy some time, I would be able to think of a plan. "Let her go, or I'll –"
"Or you'll what?" A chill went up my spine when Vilgax's voice came from behind me. A turned to the direction of his voice, and there he was, riding his grey, flying octopus.
I was trapped.
The portal was just about a tiny way out of reach. I could easily get there if I had a tiny head start, and that could be obtained if I just zoomed off right now and took them by surprise.
But I couldn't leave Gwen. She risked her life to get me out of the Null Void by coming into this wretched place herself. Furthermore, it was my fault I let Kevin snatch her right out of my hands, or legs, for that matter.
I couldn't leave Gwen here with Kevin and Vilgax. She may be a total doofus sometimes, but right now, she was my cousin, and I wasn't about to desert her, because I wasn't a selfish jerk.
The only way out was giving Vilgax what he wanted. I couldn't care about losing my powers right now. What mattered the most was getting ourselves out of the Null Void.
I couldn't see how they were going to get the Omnitrix off my wrist, and I didn't want to know. All I told myself was that after Vilgax got the Omnitrix, we were free to head home.
Before I could do anything however, the world descended to darkness.
I woke up when the moon was high in the night sky.
Aw man. It was that annoying dream again.
I didn't understand why I kept waking up after having that dream. I couldn't work out why I kept stopping when I reached the scene where I was supposed to turn back to my human form and have Kevin tear the Omnitrix off, either. Not that I wanted to dream about that repeatedly, of course.
To my right, Grandpa was snoring in his armchair. Gwen wasn't here though. I guess Grandpa made her sleep in the RV instead.
I tried going back to sleep, but without success. The drowsiness had completely left me, so I lay with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling. I wished I could stand or just sit up, because lying down all day is no fun at all.
With nothing else to do, I thought, for the millionth time this week, about the dream I just had.
And immediately started to hate myself.
So many things could have gone wrong! What if Grandpa couldn't keep the portal open long enough for Gwen and I to escape? What if Kevin didn't double-cross Vilgax, and both of them attacked us after they got the Omnitrix? What if Kevin hurt Gwen? What if Gwen got attacked by those grey flying octopuses and couldn't escape when she came looking for me? What if Gwen's rockets broke down and we couldn't get to the portal?
I only realized then just how much Gwen had risked for me when she went into the Null Void. She would have gotten stuck in that stinking dimension alone with Vilgax, Kevin and me, and it would be all my fault.
My fault because I got myself stuck in there, and because I found the stupid Omnitrix.
I know I'm utterly out of character here. I know it isn't like me to put the blame on myself. I know it downright unlike me to hate the Omnitrix, when it turned me from a zero to a hero, but when you're putting your family in danger, like I was, then you'd know how I feel.
The Omnitrix was stuck on my wrist because my curiosity got the better of me. They say curiosity killed the cat. One day I was going to get myself killed. Or worse, get my family killed.
I tried not to remember just how many long I've endangered Grandpa and Gwen by having the stupid watch on my wrist. Probably ever since the first transformation, when I caused a forest fire with Heatblast. And then I started attracting trouble like a magnet. Vilgax's drones came for me, and eventually so did many other aliens from different parts of the universe.
By being the Omnitrix bearer, I hadn't only endangered my family. I'd also brought trouble to all those innocent people on the streets that got attacked by aliens who came to hunt me down.
Every time some alien bounty hunter came tracking me down, the town ended up in chaos.
Burning buildings.
Overturned cars.
Screaming pedestrians.
Who knew just how many people would get hurt if Vilgax managed to escape the Null Void!
And thinking about Vilgax, it reminded me of the reason I was in the hospital the first place. I couldn't summon up anything at all at first, but Grandpa kind of gave me hints here and there, and gradually I managed to get the whole story.
Believe me, knowing about just what happened about I got knocked out from the explosion didn't help with the beating-myself-up-because-I'm-endangering-my-family deal one bit.
And I still didn't know why Gwen cried. The thought of her breaking down into tears scared me. It just wasn't her.
Maybe she was frightened. Maybe seeing my injuries made her remember Vilgax's drones and how close she had been to death. Or perhaps those were angry tears. Perhaps she hated me for putting her into constant danger.
I wonder to what extent could I possibly loath myself.
