Total Drama Chris

Chapter 4: Day 2: Part 2: Bridge of Understanding

Chris was looking into the camera, not smiling, and sounding a bit winded. "And we're back. Be sure to stay tuned for our best campfire ceremony ever tonight, when Katie gets voted off."

"We'll see about that," Katie said, sneering at Chris.

"Hey, if Harold can rig the results, so can I!"

"They deserved it!" Harold shouted, crossing his arms.


Confession Outhouse

Chris: Unfortunately, there are very strict laws about the host being a party to rigging these shows. I'm working to get those idiotic laws repealed, though.


"Anyway," Chris continued, "up next is DJ, who will be driving Sasquatchanakwa."

Noah rolled his eyes. "I'm guessing someone couldn't get the naming rights to Bi--"

"No one says the B-word," Chris said. "DJ is driving Sasquatchanakwa. And because Chef didn't seem to understand the rules, DJ, you'll need to pick two people from the Screaming Pansies."

"But Gwen was going to ride with me!" DJ said, nervously.

"Hey," Chris started, "if you want to complain, take it up with Chef. I had nothing to do with it, but if you want to talk to Chef about it, hey, I won't stop you."

DJ looked over to Chef, who was pounding his fist. "No, it's cool."

"So," Chris started, "who will be riding with you?

"Well, Duncan said he would--"

"Oh no!" Duncan shouted. "Don't get me in that deathtrap. Not with you driving!"

DJ scratched his head. "But you said--"

"Look. I said that when I thought I'd get to sit with Gwen."

"Aww," DJ said, looking down. "So, who should I pick?"

Over on the Pansies' side of the field, they were having discussions as well.

"I hope they pick Heather," Izzy said. "That way, we don't have to worry about riding with her, and she'll get crushed along with DJ's truck!"

"Um, hello, I'm right here," Heather said indignantly, waving in Izzy's face.

"Yeah, let's give them Heather!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Sorry guys!" Chris shouted into his megaphone, right into Lindsay's ear again, causing her to jump into Tyler's lap, where they started making out on the ground.

Chris put his megaphone down. "Darn it. Couldn't she have leapt at Heather or something?" Chris asked, annoyed.

"We're going to give Heather on over, and I'll volunteer to be the brave soul to keep her in check," Izzy said. "If Heather gets out of line, then I'll use a trick my ex-boyfriend Sebastian used, pinching someone's nerves to knock them unconscious. Actually, he was never really my boyfriend. Actually, he was just a crab I saw on the beach hanging around a mermaid statue."

"I'm sorry, guys," Chris started, "but you don't get a say in the matter. DJ has chosen Owen and Cody to ride with him."

"This'll be awesome!" Owen shouted, grabbing Cody and pulling him to his armpit. "It'll be a guys only monster truck! No icky girls for us!"

Cody looked freaked out. "Why is that a good thing?"

"No girls to distract us from winning!" Owen said, then cheered and danced a bit.

"But we're going to be riding with the other team. Wouldn't we want DJ to lose?"

Owen suddenly looked down. "Oh, yeah."

Cody and Owen walked over to DJ, not looking particularly happy.

"Hey, Cody!" Beth exclaimed. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Thanks," Cody said, and started flexing his, err, "muscles." "So, did you want to go out with the Codemeister?"

Beth looked confused. "I couldn't do that. I'm going out with Justin!" Justin looked horrified for a moment before regaining his composure.


Confession Outhouse

Justin: Look, it's simple math. I'm hot. I can't be seen with someone who's ugly. Wake me when Tyler and Lindsay break up. (Justin gets a devious look on his face, then starts rubbing his hands together.) Or maybe I can break them up.

Cody: (looking depressed) I didn't know she and Justin were going out. I wouldn't have hit on her if I knew.


"Look, sorry man, but I didn't know," Cody said to Justin. Justin just shrugged.

Over on the Screaming Pansies' side of the field, Chris was talking to the campers.

"So who's riding with Izzy?" Chris asked.

"Can Katie drive?" Izzy asked. "I want her on my team. She's a winner, she's got mad driving skills, and we can squee together and drive whoever's with us crazy! It'll be so much fun!"

"When I start driving, I'll have mad driving skills too," Harold said. "I'll be going to Mach Steve's Driving Camp when I get back home."

"Ooh, ooh!" Izzy started jumping up and down. "I want to mock Steve's driving camp, too! Sounds like fun. We'll show that Steve that we're better than him and make him cry like a baby, ha ha!"

"What are you talking about?" Harold asked. "Gosh!"

"OK, you're starting to bum Izzy out, so no riding with Izzy for you," Izzy said, a bit irritated. "And I definitely don't want to ride with Heather. She'll distract me. And Lindsay would probably like to ride with Tyler. So Leshawna and Zeke, you two are coming with me!"

"Nuh-uh. No way!" Leshawna shouted. "I was near death just riding with you on that bicycle last year! Ain't no way I'm riding with you driving a monster truck!"

Izzy waved it off. "And you survived, so you know that it's survivable. Plus, you'll be with the best driver here, well, except for Katie. Damn she's good. Really, I want to drag race with her one day! It'll be so fun, and I'll be vroom-vroom, and eeeeek! And she'll be like 'whoa, did Izzy just crash? I guess we won Sadie! Eeeiii!' And then I'll be deaf from their bizarre vowel obsession. You know? Then I'd--"

"Enough!" Leshawna shouted, then put her hand over her face, shaking her head. "Let's just get it over with." Izzy looked irritated.


Confession Outhouse

Izzy: Whoa, did Leshawna get up on the wrong side of the bed, or what? I did that before, when my bed was against the wall, and when I woke up, I smacked right into the wall. Wrong side or what? But I'm pretty sure there was no lasting brain damage.


DJ was in the driver's seat of a red monster truck on one side of the field, with Cody in the passenger seat, and Owen in the back. Izzy was in the driver's seat of a green monster truck on the opposite end of the field, with Ezekiel in the passenger seat, and Leshawna in the back.

"And now," Katie started, shouting into a megaphone that looked just like Chris', "it's time for the battle of a lifetime, between DJ in the Sasquatchanakwa, and Izzy in… did Chris actually say what their truck was called?"

"Where did you get that from?!" Chris shouted, from across the field. "Give that back!"


Confession Outhouse

Katie: (into a megaphone) How many of these things does Chris keep on him, anyway? (Katie whips out a couple more megaphones from the floor.) Look! I can do three at once! Can you hear me now?


"I don't think so," Sadie said, jumping up and down, "so we get to make something up! How about the Izzekielmobile? Since Izzy and Ezekiel are both sitting in the front. They're so cute together!"

"Except Ezekiel was the person who said we were weak and stupid!" Katie said, not really noticing she was still speaking into the megaphone.

Ezekiel heard, and turned red. Izzy noticed and tried to comfort him. "Aww, are you OK, Zeke? She didn't mean it," she said as she started rubbing his face as one would do to a baby.

"I think she's still mad at me, eh?" Ezekiel said. "I didn't knoo better."

"Aww, don't worry, Zeke. I'll talk to Katie. We share a certain wavelength."

"Yeah, neither of you two ever shut up!" Leshawna said, irritated, crossing her arms.

"Don't worry about her either, Zeke," Izzy said. "I'm pretty sure it's just her time of the month. We can talk about it if you like, Leshawna." Leshawna just sulked in the back seat. Ezekiel looked back nervously.


Confession Outhouse

Ezekiel: Time of the month? Why would Leshawna get angry the first week of the month? I don't get it. Do a lot of people get angry this time of the month? I doon't.


"All right!" Katie shouted, still using the megaphone, and still running with Sadie away from Chris. "On one side is DJ, in the Sasquatchanakwa, and on the other side is Izzy, in the Izzekielmobile!"

"The what?!" Owen shouted. "Izzy and… I don't remember his name… that… home-schooled… guy. Izzy and him are going out? No! No!"

"Calm down, Owen!" Cody said. "I'm sure Chris just thought it would be funny."

Chris overheard as he was running by. "That's not the name of their truck! It's Izzyzilla! Katie got the name wrong!"

"So Katie's trying to hook them up? Great flapjacks that's messed up!" Owen shouted.

DJ looked around the car, and noticed the shift. "Guy, we're in trouble. I can't drive a stick!"

"What?!" Cody and Owen shouted.

Katie and Sadie were still running from Chris, with Katie still yelling into the megaphone. "So who will be victorious? Our money's on Izzy, who has the mad skills that Harold makes believe he has!"


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: (with bandages on her head) If I didn't despise that wench with every fiber of my being, I would love her for telling off Harold like that!

Beth: Even I know Harold has no mad skills. He's in denial. I'm sure Justin would agree with me!


"Izzy's on the other team, though," Sadie said to Katie, tapping her shoulder.

"Oh, come on. We all know DJ's gonna' lose," Katie said, still talking into the megaphone. "Poor DJ is going to be a mangled mess when Izzy's through with him. I wouldn't want to be riding with DJ, that's for sure."

Back in DJ's car, DJ had entered a comatose state, while Cody and Owen were looking very nervous.

"I'm sure Izzy won't be too rough, since she knows her boyfriend's riding… right?" Cody asked, looking nervous.

"That must be why she got a new boyfriend!" Owen shouted. "Let me outta' here!" Owen then just passed gas, which made DJ and Cody gag. "Sorry guys. Knowing I'm about to die gives me gas."

"What doesn't?" Cody asked.

Chris was still chasing Katie and Sadie around the field. "Come on! Give it back, please? Chef!" Chris was happy to see Chef standing nearby. "Grab them!" Katie and Sadie ran right on by, with Chef seeming not to care, pissing Chris off. "Dude, what was that about?"


Confession Outhouse

Chef: Pretty boy needed a workout. He'll never have this physique if he doesn't get out more. (Chef rips off his shirt and shows off his body for the camera.)


"Ready? Set? Go!" Katie shouted into the megaphone, with Chris still chasing them. DJ's truck just backfired, while Izzy seemed to be chasing Chris.

"What are you doing?!" Chris screamed. "Crush DJ! Crush DJ! You lose if you run down the host!"

"Fuddy," Izzy said, whipping her hand across her chest. "Well, it's time to kill DJ!"

"We shouldn't do that!" Ezekiel said. "DJ doesn't deserve to die, does he?"

"Don't worry, it's just an expression. Like when they say 'what's up?' they're not really asking about birds in the sky. Or when they say 'don't make a seven-layer cake while your friends are tied up and only have fifteen seconds to live before the bomb goes off and you're the only one who can defuse it,' they don't really expect you to just walk away from the cake."

"OK, you're scary," Leshawna said, looking freaked out.

"It was joost a teenage expression, though," Ezekiel said, then looked to Izzy. "I guess we need to teach her some teenage slang, eh?"


Confession Outhouse

Leshawna: And people were scared of Heather last year? I mean, sure Heather's a horrible person, but something about Izzy just creeps me out, you know what I'm sayin'?


DJ's truck was doing some occasional jerking, but not much else. Izzy was in no hurry to crush DJ's truck, though, and just had her car staring down DJ's, as if it were waiting for the right moment to strike.

"She creeps me out," DJ said, high-pitched.

"Who puts a manual transmission in a monster truck, anyway?" Cody asked, scratching his head.

In the other truck, Leshawna was getting impatient. "What are we waiting for, Izzy? Smash into him, already!"

"Izzy needs to wait for the right moment," Izzy said. "The wild cat stalks its prey, but does not go for the kill to quickly. The wild cat spies on its prey, studies it, knows its behavior, and then, only at the right time, pounces onto the poor, unsuspecting tiger, and then they try to fine the poor, innocent cat for killing an endangered species, even though the poor wild cat was only doing what came natural to it."

"Is that more of that teenage slang?" Ezekiel asked, honestly not sure.

Leshawna looked uninterested, until it hit her. "Wait. Are you the wild ca--"

"No, no," Izzy said. "No time for that now, it's time for pouncing!"


Confession Outhouse

Izzy: You'd think people actually liked those murderous tiger beasts from that scolding the judge gave me, let me tell you!


Sure enough, Izzy's truck literally leapt off the ground, and looked like it actually bit into DJ's truck as it crashed into him, taking out a large chunk of it, knocking Owen completely out of the car.

"Owen!" Izzy shouted, leaping out of the seat while the truck was still moving. Ezekiel and Leshawna, scared out of their wits, managed to steer it to keep it from crashing until it eventually rolled to a stop.

"I think he's dead," Izzy said, forming tears, picking up Owen's arm. Then she dropped his arm, her eyes sucked the tears back in, and she was smiling ecstatically. "Just kidding. He just seems knocked out. Probably should have his head checked."

"And yours!" Leshawna shouted, rolling up her sleeve and running toward Izzy.

"Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!" Izzy shouted, as she was performing flips to get away from Leshawna's chasing her.

"And the second round goes to the Izzekielmobile!" Katie shouted from her megaphone. "Go, Izzy and Leshawna!"

"And Ezekiel," Sadie added.

Katie shrugged. "We don't like him, remember?"

"Shouldn't you be supporting your own team?" Beth asked, running up to them. "You almost sound happy that we lost."

Izzy ran up to Beth and picked her up, rubbing their noses together. "Aww, Bethy-wethy, Katie was just having fun! Ya' gotta' relax every once in a while, kid." Izzy placed Beth down and patted her on the head. Beth was looking frustrated.


Confession Outhouse

Beth: Why do people treat me like I'm stupid little kid? I know Heather tricked me last year, but I learned from that. That won't happen again!

Izzy: (looking irritated) Sheesh, some people have no sense of humor.


Chris had given up trying to get the megaphone back from Katie after he remembered that he had another spare on him. "OK, campers! The score is now tied, one to one. Whichever team wins this last round is safe from elimination tonight. The other team is going to have to send one of their members home." Chris walked over to the Killer Chrises. "OK, I'm sure you all know that Justin will be driving, and Duncan, Eva, and Beth will be riding with him."

"Ooh, can I sit in front with Justin?" Beth asked, excitedly.

"Eh, why not?" Chris answered. "I'm sure your--heh--boyfriend would love your company," Chris said, making kissy faces to Justin.


Confession Outhouse

Chris: Come on! I'm way hotter than Justin! Why doesn't Beth have a mad crush on me? (Chris pauses, and looks horrified for a second.) On second thought, I think I'm lucky that Beth is clearly aware that I am way out of her league.


Over with the Screaming Pansies, Chris was explaining the situation to them. "Lindsay, you're going to be driving. Tyler, Harold, and Heather, you'll be riding with her."

"Wait," Lindsay said. "You mean I have to ride with… Heather?" Saying Heather's name seemed to really bother Lindsay.

"Yes!" Chris exclaimed. "Isn't it awesome!"

"No," Lindsay said weakly, looking down.

"Cheer up, babe!" Tyler exclaimed. "If she tries anything, I'll mess her up good, I will!"

"You'd hit a girl?" Harold asked, looking in disbelief.

"No, man, I mean… I don't know! I'll do something, though!"

"Tyler, I'm sorry I threw the canoe at you," Heather said, her face turning red. "There's nothing wrong with inter-team dating."

Tyler wasn't sure how to respond. Lindsay knew, though. "She's lying. She's always lying!"

"I swear I'm not, Lindsay," Heather said, weakly. "I'm not the same horrible girl I was last year."

"So, you think I'm smart, now, Heather?" Lindsay asked, with venom in her voice upon speaking Heather's name.

"I don't," Heather said, looking depressed. "You're not smart, but you're loyal, you're friendly and--"

"That's enough," Lindsay said, not looking happy. "That's all I needed to hear."


Confession Outhouse

Heather: I know Lindsay's mad. I understand why Lindsay's mad, even. It's probably tearing her up that she can't trust me. I know Lindsay, and she's a sweet girl.

Lindsay: I wish Heather would quit trying to use me again! I'm not falling for it this time. (Lindsay starts to tear up, and her voice cracks a bit.) I'm not falling for that again.


Tyler opened the door on the driver's side of the truck and lifted Lindsay into the driver's seat. Harold saw, and decided to open the door on the other side. "Would you like some assistance, m'lady?"

Heather looked around, and realized Harold was talking to her. "Me?"

"You looked like you could use a little help."

"Thank you," Heather said quietly, as Harold lifted her into the back of the truck… or tried too. He wasn't strong enough, and Heather collapsed on him.

"I'm sorry for I have failed you, m'lady."

"It's OK," Heather said, blushing. Heather climbed into the truck, then lifted Harold up. And also helped Tyler up when she realized he was having trouble getting into it as well.

"Thank you," Tyler said to Heather. Lindsay glared at Tyler, and he looked nervous.


Confession Outhouse

Tyler: Heather did something nice, and I thanked her. I swear, I can still mess her up something good if I need to Lindsay. (Tyler's eyes open wide) I mean, I wouldn't hit a girl! Darn it!

Lindsay: I didn't mean to be jealous, but I still remember what Heather did to Timmy last year, kissing him to make Gail angry. If I'm not careful, she might do that to my Taylor!


"Wait, this is a stick?" Harold asked. "Who makes a monster truck with a stick shift?"

"Idiots, I'm guessing?" Heather asked, giggling slightly.

"Well, yeah," Harold said, a bit confused. "Wait, were you mocking me?"

"No, I was just…" Heather said, then kinda' got lost in her thoughts. "I was just teasing ya'," she said, giving Harold a small punch in the arm, at which he winced in pain.

"Ow!" Harold shouted. "Keep away from me!"

Heather stayed on her side of the car, looking depressed.


Confession Outhouse

Heather: Does Harold really need to be so melodramatic? I'm trying to be nice, people! Nice!

Harold: I don't think Heather really did that on purpose, and she looked worried for me, but I was in severe pain! I needed to react quickly, because the blood wasn't getting to my right arm! I'm lucky I still have this arm!


In the other car, Beth was trying to work up the nerve to speak. "So… Justin… that's a nice name." Justin didn't answer.

"Just kiss already!" Duncan shouted, then smirked. "You know you want it, Justie. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!"

"Do you really need to do that?" Eva asked, grumpily.

"Well, if they're boyfriend and girlfriend, they ought to make out at least a little bit," Duncan said, still smirking. "Come on, Bethie and Justie. Mwah! Mwah!"

"We're not--" Justin started to shout, but was interrupted when Beth gave him a fairly long kiss on his cheek.

"Nice," Duncan said, grinning.


Confession Outhouse

Beth: OK, I didn't mean to do that, but Duncan was just egging me on, and I don't know what happened… I just kinda' kissed him. He tasted so handsome.

Justin: That was disgusting! Being kissed by a pig-faced girl! Forget Lindsay, even that yak yak yak fat girl is prettier than Beth will ever be!


"All right!" Chris shouted from his megaphone, on the side of the field. "We have the battle you have all been waiting for! The battle between our prettiest guy fighting our prettiest girl! We have Justin driving Justinzilla--"

"Battling against Lindsay in Barbie's Corvette!" Katie shouted from her megaphone on the other side of the field.

"Oh yeah," Chris said to himself, without the megaphone. "She still has that thing." Chris put the megaphone back to his mouth. "That's not the name of Lindsay's monster truck!"

"Was it Lindsayzilla?" Katie asked, with a smug look on her face.

"Anyway," Chris continued, ignoring Katie's question, "it'll be a fight to the death between Justin and Lindsay."

"Who will win it for their team?" Katie asked. "Will Justin wipe the floor with Lindsay's cute little butt, which I wish I had--"

"Me too!" Sadie shouted, jumping up and down.

"Or will it be Lindsay who smashes Justin's beautiful face in? Oh, and speaking of Justin, congratulations on your new girlfriend, Beth! We heard about that… if you two break up, though, then I'll be there to steal you back, Justin, so look out! Meow!" Katie pawed in Justin's direction.

"No, Justin will go out with me," Sadie said indignantly.

"No, Justin would so totally choose me," Katie said.

"Why?" Sadie asked, annoyed. "Just go ahead and say it. I'm the fat one!"

"No Sadie," Katie said, trying to comfort her friend, though still holding the megaphone to her mouth. "I didn't say that. I mean, duh, I've noticed, but I don't care if you're a little heavier than I am. You're my best friend! I just really, really like Justin. If I were the fat one, I'd still want Justin more!"

"You mean that?" Sadie asked, as the two gave each other a tight hug, then started squeeing, with the megaphone still to Katie's mouth, deafening the entire arena.

"STOP!" Chris shrieked into the megaphone before putting it down. "I hope I'm not going to be responsible if these kids all lose their hearing." Chris then put the megaphone back up to his mouth. "If you guys can still hear me, Justin, Lindsay, go!"

And the trucks were off! Or at least Lindsay's was. Justin's truck was just sitting there.

"Justin, go!" Eva screamed. Justin seemed to be in a comatose state, though, still in shock from Beth's kiss. "Go already!"

"I don't think that's going to work," Duncan said, waving his hand in front of Justin. "He's out cold."

"This is your fault, punk!" Evan shouted. "You pushed Beth into kissing him!"

"Then I'll get us out of this mess! I know how to drive!" Duncan said, grinning.

"But you don't have a license," Beth pointed out. "Is this legal?"

"Nope," Duncan said. "Never stopped me before." Duncan shoved Justin into the back, where Eva was looking longingly at him, as Duncan took off in the truck… though not easily.

"Aww, a stick shift? You've gotta' be kidding me!"

"Tough guy can't drive a stick?" Eva mocked. "Who'd have guessed."

"Really, why the hell would anyone drive these things?" Duncan said, annoyed. Lindsay's truck was having no problems moving, though.

"You can drive a manual, Lindsay?" Heather asked, impressed.

"My parents thought it was a good idea. They wanted me to build some character, for some reason." Lindsay said, not even realizing who she was talking to in her moment of excitement, racing the truck after Justin's… err, Duncan's truck.

"You go, Lindsay!" Tyler shouted. "Show that Justin who's boss!"

"Or Duncan. It looks like Duncan's driving," Harold pointed out.

"Wait… Duncan can't drive," Tyler mentioned. "Can he?"

"Not a manual, anyway," Heather said. "Look! He's driving it pretty badly. He has no idea what he's doing!"

"Good," Lindsay said, smirking. "I'm going for the kill!"

"Yeah!" Tyler shouted. "Let's eat 'em!" Harold and Heather looked at each other confused.


Confession Outhouse

Heather: It was great, seeing Lindsay in such control, dominating this round like that. I was really surprised she could drive like that. I'm really glad I was wrong about that.


"Lindsay, I'm sorry for doubting you," Heather said. "You're doing great!"

"Thank you, and I know!" Lindsay answered, smiling back for a second, before getting serious again, going after Duncan's truck.


Confession Outhouse

Tyler: Wow, Lindsay and Heather getting along again? I don't believe it! It might've just been the thrill of the competition getting to Lindsay, though. I know I can get mean and nasty on the field sometimes… I guess Lindsay gets friendlier, or something. Still not sure if Heather's trustworthy, though.


"Man, we're dead!" Duncan complained, realizing they were sitting ducks.

"Not if I can help it!" Eva shouted, and jumped out of the truck.

"Is she crazy? What is she doing?" Duncan shouted, then looked as he saw Eva was going to face down the truck. "What, is she going to pick it up and throw… oh my God, she's going to pick it up and throw it!"

Katie and Sadie were staring in amazement on the side of the field. "Is she allowed to do that, Katie?" Sadie asked.

"She's on our team, so I say yes!" Katie shouted, still compulsively holding the megaphone to her mouth.

"For once, I agree with her," Chris said, smirking, without the megaphone. "Eva throwing the car! That's gonna' make for awesome TV!"

The passengers in the green car were worried, though. "Is she trying to throw our car?!" Harold shrieked. "Is she nuts?!"

"Duh," Heather answered. "Last season proved that."

"Lindsay, watch out!" Tyler screamed.

"I think it's time I whipped out some of my many mad skills," Harold said.

"Harold, you don't have mad skills," Heather said. "I mean, you're a nice guy, but--"

"Watch and learn." Harold hopped up to the roof of their monster truck, going to the back. When they got close, Harold started running down the roof, over the hood, then dove like a missile at Eva, slamming her to the ground. She wasn't down for long, but it was enough for Lindsay to pass.

"Wow! He really does have some mad skills!" Heather exclaimed, blushing.

"OK," Chris said. "That might not have been quite as awesome as seeing Eva throw the car, but still, that was pretty awesome too, I admit."

"What?" Katie shrieked, and looked like she would cry. "No! The Pansies can't win! We need this!"

"Katie, I'm sorry," Sadie said, hugging her friend.

"Crap!" Duncan shouted, as Lindsay's truck was racing behind his, ultimately completely climbing over his truck, rendering it a wreck.

"And we have our winners!" Chris shouted. "The Screaming Pansies!" Most of the Screaming Pansies, minus Courtney, Trent, and Owen, were all celebrating and cheering each other on, particularly cheering for Izzy, Lindsay, and Harold.

"As for you, the Killer Chrises," Chris started, looking toward them, minus Bridgette and Gwen. "I'm really disappointed in you guys. Especially you, Katie."

"But I actually won my round," Katie said, indignantly.

"And you kicked me there," Chris yelled, pointing to where he meant, "and even worse, you stole my megaphone!"

"Katie," Noah said, looking sick, "you were great out there today."

"Really?" Katie asked, tearing up a bit, before glomping Noah, "thank you! Thank you! I knew you liked me!"

"And me! Group hug!" Sadie shouted, joining in the hugging.


Confession Outhouse

Noah: And just like last season, my big mouth got me in trouble. I was starting to remember why I didn't like those two.


On the Screaming Pansies side of the field, Heather was congratulating Lindsay. "That was great, Lindsay!" Heather gave Lindsay a hug, though Lindsay looked uncomfortable with it.

"Thank you," Lindsay said, before finally smiling. "I guess I could be civil with you, Heather. It's hard staying mad. I still don't trust you, though."

"It's OK," Heather said, a bit sad. I know what I did. "Harold," she said, looking to him. "That was really an impressive display out there."

"I know," Harold said rather matter-of-factly. "I learned that while practicing ballet on a conveyor belt, since you never know when practicing ice skating on a conveyor belt made of ice, since you never know what those skills can come in handy."

"You're not such a bad guy," Heather said, smiling. "I mean, you brag a lot, but if you really have all these 'mad skills,' then why not let the world know?"

"So can I see your boobies again?" Harold asked, staring at Heather's chest. Heather was taken aback, and smacked him across the face.

"Pervert."


Confession Outhouse

Harold: Too soon, I guess.

Heather: (Heather looks a bit freaked out.) Urgh… did he really need to remind me of… of that?


"Harold, you were awesome!" Izzy shouted, jumping around him. "I saw you were like 'errr,' and then you were like 'yaaa,' and then 'whoosh,' and you had Eva down with those mad skills that you keep saying you have, and you finally walked the walk that you'd just been talk talking before, and man, that was just great!"

"It's too bad Courtney missed it, eh?" Ezekiel added in, shaking Harold's hand. "Maybe she'd lighten up on you if she saw you helping oot your team like that."

"I guess." Harold shrugged.


Confession Outhouse

Courtney: So later, Lindsay and Heather both told me how Harold saved our butts from elimination tonight. I think they just wanted me to go easier on him, because I know he wasn't one of the drivers. Really, since when has anyone been legitimately helped from a backseat driver? (Courtney crosses her arms, and looks to the side.) Honestly. Though at least, I guess, it was nice to see them corroborating together for such a story.


The Killer Chrises weren't as happy. "It's your fault we lost!" Eva shouted, shoving Duncan with a finger. "If you hadn't egged Beth on, Justin would've been just fine to drive!"

"Come on," Duncan said, annoyed. "There's no way Justin could have outdone Lindsay's driving out there. You and I both know pretty boy couldn't have handled her, anyway. Besides, it's your fault for getting knocked down by Harold! I mean, hello! Harold! Skinny little wimp! The one person even Noah could take on!"

"Thank you for you vote of confidence," Noah said, rolling his eyes.

"I underestimated him," Eva said, looking dejected. "He's tougher than he looks, OK?!"

"Well, I'd say it's Katie's fault we lost," DJ said.

"What?" Katie asked, confused?

"Yeah," Duncan added. "I mean, I want them gone as much as the next guy, but how was it Katie's fault, of all people?"

"She made me nervous!" DJ shouted, his voice cracking. "I couldn't drive under the pressure, and she was making me scared, saying I'd be a bloody mess."


Confession Outhouse

Katie: DJ's such a liar! I used to think he was a nice, stand-up guy, but he's such a liar!
Sadie: Yeah, lying about poor Katie just to save his own skin.
Katie: I said mangled mess. I didn't say bloody mess, I swear!
Sadie: Yeah, he just didn't want to admit that you were awesome with your driving?
Katie: I know!
Katie and Sadie: Eeeiii!


"You were already nervous," Noah said flatly to DJ. "You were complaining the whole time, instead of just doing your job."

"Like you did in the dodge ball game last year?" Justin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, nya nya yes." Noah said, quite irritated.

"What about Justin?" Duncan asked. "I mean, he's the one who brain stopped functioning after his 'girlfriend' kissed him. Shouldn't he be getting flak for that?"

"Sorry," Justin said. "I was just a bit surprised. I… um… wasn't expecting that."


Confession Outhouse

Justin: No one expects or wants that! Seriously, I may have gotten ugly germs on my beautiful face!


"I guess it was sweet of you though, Beth," Justin said. Beth blushed.

"Aww, thanks! I'm sorry I costed us the win like that, though."

"That's right, it's Beth's fault," Duncan said, trying to find something that would stick.


In a back room, Courtney, Bridgette, Trent, Gwen, and Owen were lying down, with some interns tending to their wounds, with bandages on their heads.

"I hope we didn't lose," Courtney said, saddened. "They'd probably vote me off for being a big loser and getting you guys hurt."

"I'm sorry, Courtney," Bridgette said, "but I really hope we won. They nearly voted me out last time. I probably won't be so lucky next time."

"And you shouldn't be!" Gwen snapped. "You should be ashamed! You got Geoff kicked off!" The others were looking at Gwen, confused.

"I didn't make him do it," Bridgette said. "Geoff really wanted to."

"I'd never let my boyfriend cheat for me!" Gwen shouted. "I'd break up with him before I let him do that." Trent looked a bit uncomfortable with that.


Confession Outhouse

Trent: I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind… I guess I can't if she's going to break up with me over it, though. Hmm… I wonder if she'd be impressed if I got a letter G tattoo?


"Gwen," Courtney started, "why don't you just tell Bridgette what's bothering you?"

"It should be obvious," Gwen said. "If you really don't know, Bridgette, you must be an idiot."

"Gwen!" Courtney shouted.

"It must be a blonde thing. Lindsay's an idiot… should've known you were, too."

Bridgette just looked in disbelief at Gwen's words, then just sulked.


Confession Outhouse

Bridgette: Seriously! What do I have to do? I'm not a mind-reader! I'd never hurt Gwen on purpose! That really hurt, though, calling me an idiot. I wonder if that's how Lindsay feels when people call her stupid? (Bridgette thinks it over for a moment.) I'm sorry, Lindsay.


"How dare you treat Bridgette like that!" Courtney was furious, and was letting out all of the anger she had been holding in. "You think you're all holier-than-thou when you're trying to steal my boyfriend!" The others had gone wide-eyed, Trent in particular.

"Excuse me?" Gwen said. "I don't want Duncan. He just keeps hitting on me. I can't get him to stop!"

"Gwen!" Trent cried. "Why, Gwen, why?!"

"I'm not seeing him! Urgh!" Gwen screamed. "Won't anyone listen to me?!"

"No!" Courtney shouted. "Not until you start treating Bridgette with a little respect!"

"She doesn't deserve it!" Gwen shouted. "She betrayed me!"

"Gwen," Bridgette said, "I'm sorry everyone's losing it. I didn't mean for this to happen." Bridgette started crying.

"Look what you did!" Courtney screamed.

"Enough, Courtney, please," Bridgette pleaded. Looking into Bridgette's tearful eyes was enough to calm Courtney down enough to get her to shut up, though everyone could still hear Trent's sobbing.

"You can stop Trent," Gwen said, leaning over to hug, and then kiss him, which calmed him down.

"Look, Bridgette," Gwen said. "You really did hurt me, but maybe I could be a little more receptive. Maybe it was my fault, for thinking you were so nice and perfect and loved by everyone… maybe you deserve to know."

"Thank you." Bridgette smiled. But before Gwen could say anything else, the interns were hurrying them out, and back onto the plane.

"I guess this isn't the right time, though?" Bridgette asked, smiling.

"Later, I promise," Gwen smiled back.

"Gwen, I'm sorry, too," Courtney said, upset with herself for losing it.


Confession Outhouse

Gwen: I know Courtney didn't mean to say it, but she said it. She's jealous, and she thinks I'm leading Duncan on. I'm really not! I love Trent! We're having a bit of a bumpy time now, I admit, but even if we broke up, I wouldn't do that to Courtney. We're friends… or we're on friendly terms, anyway.


Back at camp, the Killer Chrises were filling in Gwen and Bridgette on the bad news.

"We lost," Duncan said, shrugging. "A lot of people are to blame, including you, Bridgette. Where were you, even?"

"With me," Gwen said. "We were both badly hurt, and needed to be tended to. You wouldn't get upset with me, I hope." Gwen smiled innocently, and Duncan backed down.

"I won't tell Courtney," Bridgette whispered to Gwen, smiling.

"I'm trying to look out for you too, here." Gwen smiled back, then turned back to the rest of her team. "So I know Katie won the first round… why did DJ and Justin lose their rounds?"

Duncan smirked. "DJ was too scared too do anything, and Justin entered a state of shock for some reason."

"Which was Duncan's fault, by the way," Eva said, grinning menacingly.

"Not my fault the guy can't handle a kiss."

"Ooh, you two should have seen it!" Katie exclaimed. "Harold did some sort of fast dive bomb thing to help his team win the final round, which was really cool, well, except that it caused our team to lose."

"And Izzy and Lindsay really ruled in their trucks!" Sadie exclaimed, and the two girls squeed together.

"Wait," Gwen said. "Izzy I can believe, but Lindsay? You've got to be kidding me!"

"It's true," Eva said, hanging her head in shame.

Chris walked out to the Killer Chrises. "It's time to cast your votes! You know the drill."


Confession Outhouse

Katie: DJ, you're outta' here!
Sadie: Seriously, I can't believe he lied on you.
Katie: I know.
Sadie: (pauses) So, I guess this isn't the right for squeeing either?
Katie: Right.

DJ: Sorry Katie, but I am now deaf because of you. Practically deaf, anyway.

Eva: Duncan, you screwed up. Stop trying to blame Justin and Beth, already! Besides, (Eva starts looking dreamy.) Justin's too dreamy to blame…. (Eva pauses, then goes back to looking serious.) Err, you'd better edit that part out, or else! (Eva makes a fist for the camera.)

Gwen: Katie, if only so I don't have to hear your yak yak yakking again. And because you put me and Trent in intensive care. That doesn't exactly endear me to you, either.


"All right, campers," Chris solemnly said. "I'm disappointed in the lot of you. I mean, really. The Killer Chrises, beaten by Screaming Pansies. Two weeks in a row… it's embarrassing!" Chris took out a plate of marshmallows. "On this plate there are nine marshmallows. Only nine of you will receive a marshmallow. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, at the end of which you will board the Boat of Losers, and you can never return--"

"EVER!" Izzy shouted in Chris' ear with three megaphones, and watched as he came falling back down to earth with enough force to leave a small hole in the ground.

"What the heck was that for?! Ow…" Chris said, rubbing his body all over, trying to soothe the pain.

"I dunno'. Just thought to give you a taste of your own medicine." Izzy said nonchalantly.

"Fine. I'm sick of the megaphones anyway." Chris reached for the plate of marshmallows. "When I call your name, please come up and receive your marshmallow."

"Gwen."

"Noah."

"Justin."

"Eva."

"Sadie."

"Beth."

"Bridgette."

"Duncan."

DJ was looking quite nervous. Katie was looking angry. "What did I do to deserve this?!"

"You don't shut up!" DJ shouted. "You never shut up! Ever hear silence is golden? No! Of course not! You never heard that expression because you just never friggin' shut up!" DJ looked around, then hung his head down. "Sorry, Mama. I lost my cool there."

"May I continue?" Chris asked, annoyed. "Thank you. The final marshmallow of the night, and the one of you two who gets to return to safety is…"

"Katie."

Katie blew a raspberry to DJ, as she walked over to receive her marshmallow, but not before being plowed down by her friend, glomping her in glee.

"Oh, I was so worried, Katie, but you're safe! Eeeiii!"

"I was worried too, Sadie! I came so close before, and so close again tonight, but I made it again!" And the two girls squeed together for a while, as Chris walked up to DJ.

"Sorry, bra," Chris said. "Personally, I would have voted Katie off myself, but I don't get a say in the matter. I called my lawyers to check, but they confirmed it. Dock of shame awaits."

DJ walked off, looking down, as he walked down the Dock of Shame, and boarded the Boat of Losers, as he waved back to his fellow Killer Chris members. Most waved back: Katie and Sadie glared menacingly, though, which frightened DJ inside the boat when he noticed.

Chris looked into the camera, smiling. "And thus ends another exciting day. DJ's been voted off, and Geoff left us last time: is the third member of the DJ-Geoff-Duncan friendship going home next?"

"No way!" Duncan shouted.

"The Killer Chrises, so far, have been royally sucking, losing the first two challenges. Will the third time be the charm for them, or will they continue on this horrible losing streak? We still have some big questions on our minds though. Why was Gwen mad at Bridgette? Why is Beth so utterly clueless around Justin? And who's bright idea was it to feature Katie in such a ridiculously large role in this episode, anyway? Seriously, she's just about the least-popular character with our viewers. I'll need to have a talk with someone about that. But find out the answers to these questions and more next time--or at least, eventually--on Total Drama Chris!"


As the Boat of Losers neared the Playa' des Losers, Geoff was waiting to greet his friend as DJ got off the boat.

"Sorry, dude," Geoff said, putting his arm around DJ. "That was tough. I thought for sure they were going to knock off the loud chick."

"It's OK," DJ said, smiling at Geoff. "I left with my dignity in tact."

"Except for that way-cool blowup at Katie!" Geoff said, oblivious to DJ's feelings.

"Thanks," DJ uttered, irritated.


Votes

Beth: Duncan
Bridgette: DJ
DJ: Katie
Duncan: Bridgette
Eva: Duncan
Gwen: Katie
Justin: Beth
Katie: DJ
Noah: DJ
Sadie: DJ

DJ: 4
Katie: 2
Duncan: 2
Bridgette: 1
Beth: 1

Losers: Geoff, DJ

Remaining Killer Chrises: Beth, Bridgette, Duncan, Eva, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Noah, Sadie

Remaining Screaming Pansies: Cody, Courtney, Ezekiel, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna, Lindsay, Owen, Tyler, Trent


It was DJ's time to go. He's not that popular a character, is he? Don't think I'll get too too much hate for that one. It's basically a case of DJ not really having any important plot threads, and also as I've learned, when writing for him, I don't feel him at all. I was originally planning on having DJ leave a bit later, but I'm flexible, and I'd rather not force myself to follow the strict plan if I feel the story should go in a slightly different direction.

I love concrit, if you wish to give it! Or if you want to just give a simple review, that's nice too. Or if you want to yell at me for kicking off DJ, or yell at me for making the Killer Chrises lose two challenges in a row, or yell at me because you despise the Wonder Twins… all up to you!