Hello guys! First of all I want to start off by saying thank you to all the people who have either favourited or taken the time to give me their opinion of my story! I've had a lot of time to think about what I was going to write next for this chapter and it looks like the day has come where I finally continue on this story. I'm not particularly happy with what I've conjured up as I did write this at 3:46 in the morning and I just haven't been doing so well. But alas writing seems to be my only escape. So here it is…

Disclaimer: I do not own skins or any of the characters within the show

Remember to R&R!

I remember that moment that I knew I had fallen in love with Emily. It was a normal day like any other she was at my place yet again and was sitting on my couch, hair tousled cutely, the concentration on her face as she watched some comedy show on tv or something. She was wearing my pig t-shirt which may as well have been a dress on her petite frame. I don't know if she knew I was watching her or she was completely oblivious to my stare. I slightly noticed that the notebook in my hand was gripped tightly as I watched her instead of writing. Every time she laughed or glanced at me with that goofy smile made me think ' I'm never gonna let her slip away, never'. Seeing her in the middle of the room completely open and raw made me feel something deep inside that scared me immensely. Was I falling for her? All this week the same feeling was felt through my body in these small moments with her.

I don't know when she got up or when she appeared in front of me as I stared blankly at my notebook contemplating the thoughts in my head, trying to grasp on to any idea of what I was feeling. "Hi" she breathed out to me as I was broken out of my thoughts and moved my head to look up and find her sweet grin.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I cheekily asked her as she very slowly inched herself closer to me, the front of the shirt showing the nakedness peeking out from underneath.

"I dunno , just wondering why my girlfriend is staring at me so intensely? Still not tired out from this morning?" She huskily whispers into my ears sending shivers down my spine as memories of that morning entered my mind. It certainly does not help either that she's straddling me on the armchair. Instead of answering her I replied with a sweet kiss not really meaning for it to progress any further but she had other plans as she deepened the kiss. That feeling entered my body again as I really felt everything that was happening in this moment. Her scent, her skin, the smell of shampoo in her hair, her soft lips against mine. It all became a little too intense for me as I broke out of the kiss. "What's wrong Naoms?"

"Nothing it's just uh..hmm I dunno," of course I stutter when I should really tell her what's wrong…or more like what feels right? She doesn't take this answer well as she takes it the wrong way and probably thinks something's wrong with her. She gets off me clearly annoyed at me since I've been so cryptic about what's really going on in my head. 'Way to go Naomi leave it to you to start drifting away from someone when things are starting to get serious'.

" I don't know what's wrong Naomi but clearly it's bad enough not to tell me" she finally says as she huffs and tries to find her clothes.

"No Em it's not like that it's just-"

"What Naomi? I've been patient with you all week, you've been acting strange and don't say that everything's fine because they're clearly not. Like did you think I didn't notice anything last night when you looked at me as if you were scared! " As she makes her way to the front door I start to panic. Oh no she's going to leave! I have to tell her before things get bigger than they actually are. Although since when is telling someone you love them not a big thing? Oh fuck it Naomi.

When it looks like she's about to say something I blurt those three words out. I love you.

She's speechless at my admission, seemingly dumbfounded by what just happened.

" Y-you love me?" There's nothing more I can say but nod and slowly walk towards her bringing her into my arms. Now that I've said it want to tell her a million times again.

" I love you" it's only said in a gentle whisper but when she kisses me in response there's nothing more I need her to say to me to know that she loves me back.

I don't know how long I stayed rooted in that one spot. Could've been hours maybe even seconds but it didn't matter. This pain within my chest wouldn't stop and there was nothing I could do about it. The one person I fight for and they destroy me in the span of a few words. I didn't want that to be our final goodbye. I didn't plan for things to happen this way. She chased me, she didn't have to come after me. She could've just have easily let me be on my way. Anger rose up inside me but I let it burn inside just as I always did. I had to get out of here right now. The moment plagued my mind and it hurt me immensely. I ran, ran as I fast as I could to nowhere. Funny thing is that nowhere ended up being the flat that me and Effy currently lived at. It was then in that moment standing at the door of my bedroom that all my self control was out the window.

I wake up to two familiar ocean blue orbs staring down at me, concern showing through them. "You're finally up you twat!" Effy's tone contradicted what I could see in her eyes. The floor felt hard and uncomfortable. Although the thing is that I probably deserved this pain. Effy unexpectedly pulls me up to a seated position and holds me close to her chest. It is at times like this that I'm reminded that she is one of the only people I know that can read me like a book. "It's okay Naomi you don't have to be strong for me…" I really want to scream,cry and latch onto her but my body won't do it. It's as if something has snapped my ability to react in two. She pulls me up and sits me on the bed. The mirror across the room stares right back at me and I don't even know if it's myself I'm looking at. It was merely an empty shell of me. Effy looked back at me through the mirror.

" It will never change Eff…she still doesn't want me"

"I know."

" 'Course you do"

With a final sympathetic look she left the room mumbling something about leaving me with my thoughts. Bad idea. I didn't even what I wanted to do more. Clean up the mess I made or further destroy the remnants of my previous episode.

Weeks went by, Effy and I eventually got back into our usual routine, although an unexpected addition came into the picture and it seemed like her boyfriend Cook spent every moment of fun with us. At first, I had wanted nothing to do with their relationship as I was still in the early stages of recovering from that day. Basically as Cook put " wow you sure are stone cold, aren't ya?". I know I should've been supportive of Effy as she was my best friend but I just couldn't bear to look at how happy they were together while my heart constricted as they reminded me of those moments with , her. Eventually, I learned to be a sarcastic bitch and just went with the flow of my days. Cook actually was like the big brother I never had and although he and Effy made each other crazy it at least gave me an ounce of happiness in my life to see her smile more often. It was easier to ignore the loneliness I felt everyday in those small moments that I was left alone. My time was occupied with college work as that was what kept me sane when eff and cook spent time with only each other. Her number was still in my phone and although it was exactly a month since she destroyed me I had only just the started to think about the reason I still kept her number in my phone. I wondered that if I ever called her would she apologise for what she did? I guess I'll never know until that day comes.

My heart was feeling heavy my head punted in my chest and sweat rolled down my head. I couldn't sleep that night as my mind chose to relive every moment I had with Emily all over again. I was being bombarded with our constant fighting towards then end of our relationship and then that day where everything was lost forever. I looked around my bedroom and saw that the clock next me said 2:45 am. I'm sure Effy and Cook were still out in the town somewhere, either fucking or going crazy in a club somewhere. This was one of those moments where I truly felt alone. I don't even know what I was thinking when the first person I called was that one number that I still kept.

" Hello?" Upon hearing that first syllable I suddenly lost all my breath. My heart tightened as this was the voice of the woman I once loved….still loved. Tears streamed silently down my cheeks as I couldn't realease the words I so desperately needed to say.

" Naomi?" She whispers my name in realisation. Yet again I didn't respond. A span of silence filled the air until her sweet voice floods my ears again.

" Naomi if this is you….just know that I never meant for any of this to happen…. Just know that I love you…please be strong o-ok. If you love me you'll let me go… pls Naoms. Im not enough for you….you need someone that will be able to freely be with you, ok?" She said this in between sobs that made it extremely hard for me to stay quiet. My heart broke for her. She was EXACTLY enough for me, it was never over for me. Except that it was 2 months since things were made final and she was right in a way, it was just hard for me to accept at the moment. " I-I will always, always be yours, you hold on to that Naomi…." Upon hearing her final plea, the pain became unbearable and the phone cut out. A symbol of my final connection with her. The reaction that my body revealed betrayed what my mind told me to do. Rage was the only way I could handle things right now. I had to stop myself from calling her again. No coherent thought entered my mind as I threw my phone across the room to have it smash against wall and left I pieces on the ground as though it were a an exact representation of my heart. " I will….".