4. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Two icepacks, two beers and a bucket of ice-cream later Dean can straighten his fingers without wincing. They still hurt and he's split the knuckle on his middle finger but he's quite proud of the pain.
Cas fared better with his jab, but Dean never has had that much finesse.
"I did the right thing right? You're not pissed?"
"Another minute and I would have punched Gabe too. However much I'd promise myself not to let him get to me."
"You want to talk about it?"
"Not really."
Dean empties his ice pack into the sink. He does. He needs to know more, to know what he's up against.
"You gonna have any other brothers show up around here that need punching out?"
"No," Cas answers eyes on his drink. For a man who doesn't drink he's sure packing them away. "They're not my real brothers, but we call each other family because we grew up together. With Raph and Anna gone they are the last."
And they'd sent them packing.
"If you..." Dean starts but finds his throat closing up on him. "If you ever want to talk I'll listen."
Cas bends his head further. He can't take the kindness, can't accept Dean's trust.
"And if not then I'll drink myself into a stupor with you too."
Cas rolls his head in his hand, wiping his hair back. It still looks artfully messy, his stubble still just a shadow on his jaw.
"The other night I said... if you want me then do not get me drunk... I need my control."
Dean hesitates for a moment, unsure of exactly what Cas is offering. Then he reaches for Cas's beer.
"I never said anything about letting me get myself drunk."
With a snorted laugh Dean lets go.
"Cas man. I'm here for whatever you want me to be."
He rubs his head, weary too. He's not aware that Cas has moved until a hand threads into his hair and pulls his head back.
"If we're going to do this we do it my way."
Cas's words and a long breath, a low promise. He pulls Dean to his feet and moves them both to the couch. Dean falls back and there's a blue eyed man sitting over his lap face set and grim.
Cas shifts, kneeling so that he's straddling Dean.
Dean relaxes back into the sofa, compliant and still. He doesn't even touch Cas, sure he'll startle and run if he moves too fast.
Cas studies his features, eyes low, lips slightly open. When he moves he's slow and careful, ducking down to touch his lips to the side of Dean's mouth. Dean moves slightly beneath him but though his body is strung tight with want he holds himself still.
Cas backs off, studying Dean once more. Dean will let him look, let him have his fill.
"I didn't think I'd ever feel for you Dean."
"I hated you too Cas."
"Hate is an emotion." He leans down as he speaks, his breath ghosting over Dean's eyelashes. "It had been so long since I'd allowed myself to care even that much."
Dean has to shift, uncomfortable with not touching, his shirt suddenly too tight.
"I find it difficult to form bonds to people," Cas confesses.
"We got a bond Cas?" Dean breathes.
Cas doesn't answer, he presses another shy kiss to the corner of Dean's mouth and this time Dean can't help but chase his lips.
Cas sits back once more. He runs one finger down the bumps of Dean's ribs.
"You angered me. The way you cared to argue."
"So much for whispering sweet nothings in my ear."
"It's not an insult, it's a confession. Each confession I make translates to you as an insult."
"So far all you've told me is that you don't like me."
He's said too much, let his frustration get the best of him. Cas goes to move but Dean puts his hands on his hips.
"Cas. Sorry. Cas."
The man stills again, slowly, always anxious for a way out. He's so guarded, so desperate not to let anyone in and therefore get hurt.
Dean strokes gently, hoping it will calm Cas. He doesn't hold too tight, Cas needs a way out if he should choose it.
They stay that way for a long time, Dean stroking Cas and Cas watching him with a sleepy intensity. It's like trying to gain a wild animals trust and Dean knows he must be just as careful.
By morning Dean is mostly asleep with Cas slumped against his shoulder. He's not sure how the man can be comfortable but he's asleep and he doesn't want to wake him. There's no way to move with Cas wrapped around him so completely. When he hears Sam get up he decides he had to move. Cas grumbles as he lies him down on the couch but he doesn't wake, pressing his face into the sofa back.
Dean kisses his temple and promises to return soon.
"Shh," he tells Sam as he comes out his room. Sam spots the man huddled in the blanket and frowns. Dean holds up his hand to show his broken knuckles and mouths, "family trouble."
"What?" Sam is shocked. He takes Dean's hand, examining it.
"It's fine. You're a lawyer not a doctor," Dean hisses. "Look his brothers were being dicks and we kinda got in a fight. Cas broke Mike's nose and I tried my best with his brothers jaw."
Sam's eyes widen even further. "Dean you realise how crazy that is? Dean you can't do that anymore, you can't risk yourself, not for anyone."
Dean knows Sam's right but he still clenches his jaw and rebel against Sam's sense. "Cas needed my help."
"Yeah Dean and what use is that if you're dragged up in court again? This isn't just another fight, this is your last chance."
He's not whispering anymore and Dean glances behind him to make sure Cas is still sleeping.
"I know Sammy, don't you think I know." He grabs his brother, makes sure he's looking at him. "I took a risk back then. And I lucked out, I know that. I got my life, I got you. I ain't gonna regret that."
Sam's lip quivers. Dean knows his brother's guilt, knows he doesn't blame Sam in the slightest.
"Look Cas is worth it too." He voices the secret in a rush of breath, wanting to take it back as soon as he does. It's too deep, too personal even to admit to himself. It's too soon. He might be willing to knock a guy out for Cas but he's not going to admit how much it could mean for him.
Sam pulls him into a rough hug. "I hope he is," he murmurs. "And I hope he loves you back."
Dean lets Cas sleep as late as he needs, curled up on the couch. He's got lectures but he doesn't want Cas waking up alone, lost and confused. Dean doesn't admit it to himself often but he's got a protective streak so strong it makes him violent sometimes.
He keeps it in tough check, forces himself to let Sammy make his own mistakes and is always there to pick up the pieces.
However careful Dean is though Cas's phone doesn't care. He answers it, pushing himself to a seated position but doesn't leave the room.
"How is that possible? Months? They've had it for months? Will this hurt my case? What do you mean you don't know? I need to know. I need to... No! This could lose this for me. Your incompetence! It's unbelievable."
He throws the phone down hiding his face in his hands.
Carefully Dean goes over to him, kneels down and places his hands on either side of Cas's knees. "Cas?"
"Somebody has stolen a huge amount of information on the case. Months ago but they've only just found out about the breach. They reckon the guy was a professional. They have everything, every piece of information, everything we have built the case on."
Dean bends to press a kiss to Cas's bent head before standing. He's not sure he should be doing this but he fetches the folder he's had under his bed since Ash gave it to him. He doesn't know how to explain it, doesn't know how to get Cas to believe him when he says he didn't read it, didn't even want it.
Still he can't bear to see Cas breaking like this. Nothing gets to Cas. Nothing is too much for his impenetrable shields.
He slides the folder onto Cas's lap.
"I never read it," he says. "I asked a friend who you were the first time I saw you and this is what he came up with. He's not exactly right in the head but he's a genius. He'd be a criminal mastermind if he wasn't high all the time."
"You broke into the FBI's computers?"
"No, he did. I haven't read it. Any of it. He just got a bit too into it and I told him to get rid of it but no refunds so..." Dean shrugs. The explanation makes no sense he knows, but he wants Cas to believe him so desperately.
"Why?"
"Because he's insane. I just wanted to know who you were. You know name, major that sort of thing."
"Why?"
Dean shrugs again and blushes. "Because you were hot and I wanted to see what Ash could do and it only cost a Twinkie."
Cas rubs his head. He's angry, but this time he's waiting out the explanation.
"I'm sorry Cas." He shuffles forward on his knees, trying to get closer, needing to get closer. "You get that right? Tell me you get that."
"I understand you're sorry, but this could destroy everything I've been working for since I was 11 years old."
"Cas."
"It's... ok Dean. It's... ok."
Dean doesn't hesitate then, he reaches up to press his lips against Cas's. It's instinctual, a reflexive need to show Cas what his forgiveness means to him.
He hadn't been expecting Cas to grab the back of his head, hold him to him and open his mouth above him. He hadn't expected the dart of tongue and the press of cool fingers under his jaw angling his head up so Cas had a better reach of his lips.
Dean falls away with a deep breath. He feels boneless, the kiss having zapped him completely. Cas doesn't look any better off when Dean looks up. He's bent over, eyes mostly closed, cheeks pink and lips parted.
He reaches up, pulls Cas down, twisting so they're both on the floor, side by side, pressed up against each other.
"You want me?" Dean asks nuzzling beneath Cas's ear.
"For some reason yes," Cas says with a roll of sleepy eyes. "Yes."
He rolls onto his side, head resting on the couch so he's staring directly at Dean.
"I am angry though."
"Yeah I know."
"I want to hate you. I want to phone the police and have you arrested for what you've done."
"I want you to tell me what happened."
"I don't want to."
"I want to help."
Dean tugs on Cas's arm, pulls him again so he's sitting over his lap.
"Cas it's me. Please Cas." He strokes Cas's face, reaches up to place a gentle kiss on his lips.
"What's that supposed to mean Dean? It's you. Why should I care that it's you? Why do I?"
Dean's not sure, other than because he cares. Because he wants to know so he can help Cas. He wants to make the worry go away. He wants Cas to be able to get everything off his chest.
Cas leans his forehead against Dean's. His eyes are closed tight.
"I have to go sort this."
Dean holds on though. "Don't go."
"I... I will come back... if..."
"Hell of course I want you to! Shit Cas you think I could ever turn you away. I want to help, I want to be here for you. Call me, anytime, stay here when you can't go home, hell even when you can. I'll be here."
"Why?" Cas asks and Dean's face splits in a warm smile.
"Because you're an idiot and I'm going to fix that."
Cas climbs from his lap with a tut and a huff. He finds his coat and shakes it out trying not to look back at Dean. When he does Dean is still splayed out against the couch looking up at him from under half closed lids. He's content in that moment, until Cas lets himself out and then he's alone.
Cas strokes a hand over the back of Dean's neck as he enters religious literature but they say nothing. Dean's aware he's smiling through most of the discussion, not really paying attention. Cas makes a few points but all in all the rest of the class have to field the questions. It leads to a quiet and introverted class.
Dr Mills sighs as she's packing up her things once the bell's rung.
"I'm glad you two are good and all," she says as Dean stands over Cas's chair and the blue eyed man packs. "But it makes classes very boring."
Dean laughs and there's even a flicker from Cas.
"I have to head over to Singer's." Dean tells Cas as they're leaving. "But did you want to meet up afterwards? You can tell me all about how it went with the police."
He's fishing, in more ways than one.
"They'll be coming to arrest you first thing tomorrow morning," Cas answers with complete seriousness.
Dean pinches his side and pulls him close by his waistband as they walk.
"Remind me again why I even hang out with you?"
He's grinning though and they part with an awkward smile, a light touch of their hands. They're not quite there yet but Dean can feel it building. Soon it's all going to break out and he's not going to be able to stop touching Cas.
He practically runs to Singer's.
"I got a call from the owner of the Mustang," Singer explains. "He's ready for it back."
Dean's torn. He's gonna miss tinkering with the car. It's been finished for about a month now but he's continued to tune her so she'll be perfect. On the other hand he can't wait to tell the owner about everything he's achieved. He hopes the guy knows what he's got here.
"Well she's ready. When's he coming by?"
"About three."
Ok that's fine. He could meet Cas at 4. He fires off a text. The reply is lightning quick. Yes.
So Dean works through till three polishing the Mustang. He's taken a few liberties he knows. One is the new paintjob. It's jet black now instead of faded. She shines, just like his Impala does. There's new chrome on the dash and it has cost more than Dean wants to admit just to dress her up.
He hears the door open as he's scrubbing up. Singer greets the customer and they head towards the Ford.
Dean's surprised to see Cas. He guesses he decided not to wait but Cas hasn't even seen him. He's staring at the car, her beautiful black lines.
"She looks like a different car."
"She's yours," Singer smiles, Cas's reaction making him proud of his boy.
"Cas?" Dean asks coming round. He slides a hand to the small of Cas's back, a greeting when there's no time for words. "This is your car?"
Cas nods, mouth still open at how well his baby has scrubbed up. Dean leans in, presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Cas's hand clenches on his own before he turns, kisses Dean back, presses into him like he's struggling for breath and Dean's the only one with any oxygen.
Dean pulls back with a grin. "Public Cas," he whispers, kissing Cas's ear to let him know it's not a rejection, just that he needs to stop himself now before things go beyond his control.
Singer coughs in discomfort behind them.
"You did this?"
Dean shrugs at Bobby, he hadn't known. "Yeah, she's been my midterm project."
Cas finally lets Dean go, keeping one hand as he walks around his girl, running a hand along the shining paintwork.
Dean starts explaining what he's done, a little nervous now that he can see Cas admiring her. He lifts the hood and Cas inspects the shining engine block.
Dean stands back beside Singer, giving him an embarrassed grin.
"Just don't greet all customers like that," Singer sighs and claps him on the shoulder before leaving them be.
"So what happened with the police?"
"I told them it didn't matter. We had the truth and so we'd continue."
Dean watches Cas as he runs a hand over the hood on the Mustang. Cas has averted his eyes. He still doesn't want to talk about it.
"Cas?"
"Not here," Cas says and opens the driver's door. He climbs in and turns the key that's already hanging from the ignition. The mustang roars into life.
The cops have finished at Cas's house now. They've left a mess, but Cas doesn't seem to notice. He heads upstairs and Dean follows.
"I thought we were going to talk?"
Cas sets him with narrowed eyes, then he sighs. "Dean."
"I know. I suck. But seriously Cas couldn't we have talked in the lounge?"
Cas quirks a lip and pulls off his shirt.
"Holy shit."
Cas rolls his eyes once more. "I'm going to have a shower first."
Dean falls back on to the bed. "You're a fucking tease you know that?"
Thankfully when Cas emerges he's wearing a shirt. Dean sits up, cross legged on the bed as Cas slips on beside him.
"Cas tell me," he murmurs.
Cas swallows and pushes his still wet hair back.
"My parents died when I was three years old." He shuts his eyes, finding it easier to speak that way. "I was in an orphanage for most of my life. As were Gabe and Michael. Raph and A-Anna."
Dean leans forward, nuzzles his head against Cas's, offering what little comfort he can.
"We went from foster home to foster home, always ending up back at the orphanage after one mistake or another. When I was eight and Anna was eleven we were adopted. Zach and Bella. Anna thought they were great. I thought maybe this was our chance."
Dean knows it wasn't. Knows it was what had destroyed Cas's faith in the world.
"It started off ok, but then the visits by social services stopped and so did everything else. We were moved into the annex of the main house so we weren't under their feet. Anna was eleven and she tried but she was so young and I was useless. We stole food from the kitchen at night, wore the same dirty, too small clothes day after day. Occasionally Bella would bring back some charity buys so the school wouldn't get too suspicious."
Dean moves closer, wrapping his arms around Cas and holds him. Cas is stiff in his arms but he stays, carries on.
"There was no heat in winter. Anna would slip me her food and I never realised. She committed suicide at the age of fourteen. The coroner found bruises that I'd been too stupid to see. The times she'd gone back in to beg food, warmth. Stolen it when she had to." Cas dragged in a deep breath. "I thought it was normal. I was just a kid. I thought it was normal to be hit, to be hungry, to live like a feral animal."
He pushes at Dean then, climbing from the bed to pace to room. Dean waits. He lets Cas fume and knows there's nothing he can say. He'd been lucky. This was what he'd been so scared of when Sam was taken from him. He's feared it, Cas had lived it.
After a while he can't stand it anymore, he stands and pulls Cas into him, wrapping him in strong arms and holding him till he stills. Then he lies them down and continues to hold him, warm and safe.
He hadn't thought of the stakes. He sleeps in Cas's bed and tries to comfort him. He feels his partner fall apart and tries to pick up the pieces.
He forgets about the outside.
About the police who'd been watching but were now gone and the break in.
He wakes to a shout, to Cas being pulled out of bed, to the glint of a gun.
Cas doesn't cry out, he pulls back and gets his arm twisted up his back for his troubles. Dean scrambles out the bed as the intruder pulls Cas down the stairs.
"Not another step," the masked man growls and turns the gun between Dean and Cas.
Dean stumbles back, falls on the stairs to land on the top step. He holds up his hands, there's nothing he can do that won't get Cas killed.
He waits till he hears the front door click and then runs after them. The shot that rings out barely misses his head as it blows apart the door.
Dean is forced to stop, the smoking pistol now aimed at Cas as he's dragged back. There's a van and when Cas sees it he starts to kick out. The man's dragged him close enough now though and he lays Cas out neatly with the butt of his gun, catching his collapsing form and shoving him in the back.
They're gone.
Dean has been at the station for 5 hours now and he still knows nothing more. He's paced the small interrogation room they've kept him in, thrown the coffee they offered him against the door in disgust and almost wept he's so tired and scared.
"Let me through, damn it let me in."
The voice is Sam's and the doors being opened.
"Dean."
He runs to his brother.
"They got Cas. They took him. They had a gun. Sam. He's gone. They shot at me. Sam they took him."
Sam tries to calm him, tries to get him to stop.
"Dean. Dean. Please just stop. For a moment. One moment."
"Sammy they've got him."
"I know. Listen to me Dean. Do you know who Cas is? Really?"
"He's Cas," Dean says. That's all he cares about right now.
"His name is Castiel Collins."
"I don't care!"
"Yes you do. Listen to me. The state gave him the name Jimmy Novak when he agreed to press charges against Zachariah and Bella Adler. Seems he still used Cas as a nickname. I didn't know this until just now, but Dean, Jimmy Novak is my client."
Dean can see the connection now but he still doesn't care. He needs Cas back and whoever the fuck did this to be six feet under.
"Dean just listen," Sam orders knowing that Dean's mind is elsewhere. "Zachariah Adler is the 16th richest person in the united states. Twenty years ago he lost his fortune when his accounts were frozen querying fraud. It had been two years when they decided to adopt children for the state pay and the maintenance funds that came from the children's parent's will. Castiel and Anna. They regained their fortune because nothing could be proven but by then Anna was dead. Jimmy - Cas went back into state care because the Adler's cited trauma caused by Anna's death. He was eleven."
"Yeah I know all this Sam. We just gotta find him."
"How?"
"What?"
"How do you know all this?"
"Because he told me idiot. What does it matter?"
Sam puts his hands on his hips and tries to find the words. "Because he never speaks of it. Ever. He was in counselling till he was twenty-two. The government tried to build a case but it was only really possible when Cas agreed to help four years ago. He still had trouble telling the story. He wouldn't speak of it to us, or the cops unless absolutely necessary, as in testimonial."
Dean shrugs. Cas told him. It might be the biggest thing in the world but it won't matter if they can't get him back.
"Sam we're wasting time."
"We have no leads Dean. The police are out looking but the vehicle was unmarked, there are no cameras around to pick it up. It may take some time."
And in that time they may kill Cas.
"I can't let him die Sam." Dean bites his cheeks and tries to keep in all the anger and fear. He's shaking and he doesn't care if his brother sees.
"Cas is strong," Sam says eventually. "He survived before."
Dean squeezes his eyes tight shut and hopes.
"Dean listen to me, this is important. You need to know this, because who knows how Cas will be when he returns. When we get him back." Sam says the words and tries to make Dean hear them. When, not if. "Did he tell you what Zach and Bella did to him, to Anna?"
"He said they neglected them."
"They tried to kill Cas. That's why Anna committed suicide. Zachariah locked Cas in a freezer trunk for four days. On the fifth he turned the power on. They beat Anna, broke her arm. Cas survived because a neighbour saw Anna's body hanging from the back of the house."
Dean feels physically sick. He has to hold his stomach as Sam rubs a large hand over his back.
"She committed suicide because she thought Cas was dead and she had no hope left. The police were called. Zachariah and Bella had alibis for the day, they'd been out so there was no suspicion on them. The police said Anna had locked Cas in and then hung herself, trying to kill both of them."
"It was covered up?"
"The police tried. They lost valuable evidence in doing so. They knew something was wrong but thought it'd be better to move Cas on, cover it up and blame Anna. Only they weren't all agreed so one division kept going, kept trying to prove the truth. I believe Cas and I believe the evidence."
"Cas," Dean mutters wrapping his arms around himself.
Night comes and goes. Sam deals with the police liaison and Dean lies awake in one of the witness rooms. It's 4am when he decides he can't take it anymore.
"They think it's Adler," Sam says at the desk.
It makes sense. Who else stands to lose as much?
"They're going to raid his mansion. We've got enough motive for a warrant. There are prints from the break-in, hired mercenaries who can be linked to Adler's accounts. We've pulled out some of the case evidence. The bullet in the doorjamb is the same ones registered to Zach's licence."
Dean's heart lifts. It's something, it's more than something.
"There's more. The van's been found. It was rented a day before the crime by Gordon Walker. He was the agent in charge of the cover up. I think he's running scared, trying to stop everything coming out. He'll lose his job if it does, his reputation, go up in court."
"They're in it together?"
Sam shrugs. "Too early to say but they're sending men in."
Dean can't stay put after that. He heads out onto the steps on the police station, walks back and forth across the yard, wanders the corridors and worries.
10.30am and he hears sirens. He runs back inside, pushing past the security that let him because they've seen the man walking around since they arrived and they've all heard the story of the kidnapped plaintiff.
"Cas!" Dean shouts as he reaches the mob of activity.
Sam catches him and drags him back. "Hospital. Now."
Dean pushes forward though. Adler is walking in the centre of a group of police officers, hands cuffed. Dean smacks him in the face.
Immediately Sam's on him and he knows he's lucky to have got off the punch.
"Get him out of here," he hears an officer shout and knows he's lucky not to get arrested himself.
"Dean. Cas. Come on."
Dean falls out Sam's Cadillac before he's parked up fully. He's glad his brother follows him in though as he had no idea which way to head.
"Room 454. I phoned ahead."
He grabs Dean's collar as he goes to run off and drags him in the right direction.
It takes longer than Dean can bear to get to the room. Sam let's him run on ahead as they reach the last corridor and Dean almost falls into the room.
"Cas?!"
Cas turns his head towards the sound. He takes a deep breath but doesn't speak.
"Cas, it's me. Hey. Cas."
He falls to his knees beside the bed, scared to touch Cas but wanting to so badly.
"I know Dean," Cas breathes. He sounds like he's inhaled a fire, voice wrecked even beyond Cas's normal gravel.
"Then fucking let me know you're ok. You scared me to death. You're lucky I'm not some corpse on the police stations floor. God Cas what even was that?"
Cas takes a wrecked breath, his throat must really hurt. "Not now Dean. They gassed me and my throat feels like razors."
"Oh."
Dean sits back on his heels. He hadn't thought maybe Cas would want to sleep after his ordeal. He suddenly feels like he's intruding.
Cas sees his fear though and holds his arms out. Dean goes to him, hugging him as tight as he dares when he doesn't even know how Cas has been injured. Cas holds him tight though.
"I hate you so much," Dean whispers as he tries to hold back sobs. "You're such a fucking mission."
Maybe Cas laughs or maybe he coughs, Dean's not sure.
The police had found him in Adler's garage. Zachariah had been trying to gas him using the exhaust fumes of the car while Gordon walker helped and Bella stood by pretending not to see any of it.
They'd run full a blood work up and given Cas oxygen but he seemed to be ok so far. His throat was shot to hell and there were some superficial bruises and cuts, probably from the kidnap rather than from any torture.
They wanted Cas in overnight for observations and flat out refused to let Dean stay.
Which meant that Dean sat up all night writing their literature essay and worrying even more.
He'd sent so many texts to Cas that he'd had turned his phone to silent and would ignore it except for once an hour, on the hour when he'd turn it on to let Dean know he was ok. Dean text back every time the same thing, it'll be ok. And Cas sent back, I know.
Dean apologised a few times that Cas wasn't sleeping but Cas explained the nurses were coming in to take neurological observations every hour anyway due to his head injury and gas inhalation. So Dean continued to text, stupid things, little things and Cas would text back I'm ok.
Dean couldn't hang around home the next morning and everyone had forbade him from going to the hospital, the police, Sam, the doctors, the nurses and Cas.
He grumped as he sat outside Starbucks and drunk his fourth coffee of the morning.
Sam finds him at midday, his brother folding his long body to sit beside Dean on the grass.
"Cas called. Said they're going to run some repeat bloods and he should be out by four. I'm going to pick him up and take him to the office to run over our next move."
Dean grumbles, annoyed that Cas had called Sam and all he'd got were the same I'm ok texts.
"Dean stop. I know what you're thinking."
"He should be resting."
"You ever tried to talk him into anything?"
Yes. Constantly.
"Look. He's got some stuff to sort out,
"Yeah but I saw him for all of 30 seconds."
"Dean this is about Cas, not you."
Which annoys Dean even more. "I know."
Sam smiles to himself, aware of just how far gone his brother is on his client. "We could swing by early."
Dean doesn't want to sound as desperate as he actually is. He shrugs.
"Come on. You can give me a lift."
They head to the hospital and Sam distracts the nurse so Dean can go in alone. Cas isn't in the bed and there's the noise of the shower going. Dean's suddenly sure he shouldn't be here. Cas would have called if he'd wanted him. He slides down onto the bed, mind at war.
He doesn't hear Cas emerge, only realises when he slides his hands over Dean's shoulders from behind. Bare knees bracket his hips as Cas kneels on the bed, his forehead lands softly on the curve of Dean's shoulder.
Cas's arms tighten, one down across his chest, the other catching him in a gentle headlock.
"Hey Cas," Dean whispers.
"I can't see you now," Cas groans into his neck. "I need to talk to the police, my lawyers."
"I'm too distracting?" Dean smiles when he realises what Cas is trying to say.
"Yes."
Cas squeezes a bit tighter, just the barest of pressure on Dean's windpipe.
"I could go."
A squeeze once more and Dean's lifting his head back, pressing into Cas.
"No Dean. No."
They sit like that for a while, Cas moving his hand up and down Dean's chest. They only move apart when there's a knock at the door, Cas twisting so that he's sat cross legged at the pillows and Dean turning towards him.
It's Sam with a young doctor following him.
"Blood results are back. I'd suggest get someone to watch over you for 48 hours but you're medically fit to leave."
"I will," Dean speaks up automatically and Cas shakes his head with a roll of his eyes.
The doctor's eyes go wide as Dean pinches Cas's knee and Cas swipes at his hand with a scowl. Sam utters a short huffed laugh.
Cas shoves Dean away and picks up his bloody clothes. He's handed instead a bag from Sam and disappears into the bathroom to change.
"Go now Dean," Cas orders as he exits the bathroom and pockets his phone and wallet.
"Nice to see you too Cas."
Cas glowers and Dean knows what he's got himself into. Cas is going to push and fight and hide. Dean's going to be frustrated and angry.
He does as Cas asks because he remembers the feel of Cas's hand on his chest and the way his partner laid his forehead against the curve of his neck.
He's surprised though when Sam brings back an exhausted and grumpy Cas that night.
"He's still under watch," Sam explains as Dean remains statuesque by the kitchen counter. Sam gives him a shove as he passes and goes to his own room.
Cad blinks, lids low, like he can't keep them open even long enough to sit down.
Dean stills himself, wanting to go to him, lead him to bed.
"You sort everything?"
"No Dean," Cas says impatiently. "I did not sort "everything". I cannot sort "everything", because "everything" is kidnap, attempted murder and a case that has been going on for 15 years."
Dean sees his anger. It makes him laugh which only makes Cas more angry until Dean goes over to him and rubs his biceps.
"Cas. Cas I know. Cas come on. It'll be ok."
"That's what you said before. It's not ok Dean."
He's struggling against Dean now, pulling back and away. Dean let's him go, he knows Cas isn't one to be shackled.
"You're almost there."
"No. Everything before now has been a warm up. I'm not "almost" anything."
"Everything. Almost," Dean repeats in the same exaggerated tone Cas has pronounced them in. "Cas. You'll win this. I know you. I know how hard you'll fight. Not long now."
Cas can't accept the comfort. Dean remembers when he'd been the same. Not even Sam could help, his little brother who was his world. He sits on the back of the sofa, just watching Cas to see what he'll do. Cas wanders a few steps, unsteady now he's so tired.
"You like being in a shit mood don't you?"
A scowl forms on Cas's face, familiar and endearing.
"This is serious."
Dean nods, all seriousness himself now.
"I know. When they took you..." He can't get the words out. "I punched Zachariah in the face. He was in custody, handcuffed. If I, uh, go missing, it's probably the police arresting me for beating on a prisoner."
Cas frowns and then shakes his head.
"I was scared Cas." He finds the words though they stick in his throat. "I don't admit that often, but I guess you need to hear it, and hell I need to say it. So yeah this is serious. I thought you were dead."
He shrugs, trying to belittle the emotion in his voice. He was wide open and vulnerable then, waiting for Cas to rip out his heart, tread on his lungs and leave him eternally broken.
They're too stubborn. Neither of them wants to give an inch, neither feels safe enough.
"I thought so too," Cas replies meeting Dean's sad eyes. He's wavering, usually so strong, here at least Dean wants him to let his guard down. "I was scared. I thought about what would happen if I died then, if Zachariah killed me. Anna would never get her vengeance, I would never be able to ruin Uriel's research. I'd never be able to return Sam's copy of Brave New World and thank him."
"That's my book," Dean gripes.
"I enjoyed it."
"I thought I'd lost it."
Cas rubs the back of his head and Dean's aware of just how far off subject they'd gone. Talking trivialities was so much easier than stepping up to the play and remembering just how much trouble they were in.
"I'd miss you," Cas says quietly after the long silence.
"Nobody to bitch at in heaven?"
"I've spent 26 years of my life without someone I can bitch at. It shouldn't be this hard to leave you."
Dean shakes his head, trust Cas to make needing him sound like an insult, a weakness. "Yeah well we fucked each other well and good it'd seem."
"Was that your intention?" The wry humour that belongs to Cas alone is back beneath the utterly flat words. If Dean hadn't studied the man for half a semester now he'd have missed it, but he is beginning to know Cas.
"Something like that," Dean breathes and lets his wonder at Cas show on his face. He'll never get bored of this man, the nuances of his personality, the continual surprises and the work Dean's going to have to put into everything.
Cas must see it in his eyes and the blue eyed man moves his weight from one foot to the other. Cas is usually so still, so composed that Dean notices the new tension in him instantly. It's different from socially-awkward Cas, different from angry-at-the-world Cas. Hell it's even different from pissed-off-by-Dean Cas.
Apparently this is I-want-to-jump-your-bones Cas as he falls forward into the v of Dean's legs and pretty much attacks Dean's mouth.
It takes Dean a moment to catch up, realise what is going on. Then he's all enthusiasm letting Cas all but climb onto the back of the sofa with him in an attempt to get closer. His tongue is in Dean's mouth, his fingers under Dean's shirt.
Dean has to pull back pretty quickly as he can't find any air with Cas surrounding him so completely. He gasps and decides I-want-to-jump-your-bones Cas is his favourite type of Cas and in a fit of stupidity and lust pulls Cas to him and drops down over the back of the sofa onto the cushioned seat. They hit and roll, falling off onto the floor in a tangle of legs, cushions and blankets.
Cas is kissing him during the fall. They clash heads but Cas doesn't seem to notice and Dean's not going to bring it up when he's getting all doubt kissed out of him so thoroughly.
He hated Cas. Which really meant he wanted Cas, but couldn't have Cas. He's still infuriating and annoying distant most of the time, but Dean can see how much of it is a defence, one that Cas has now dropped so thoroughly. He's open and willing above Dean, exploring and savouring, looking for those parts of Dean that will have him broken open like a Chinese puzzle box. At the same time he's opening himself, trusting where before he'd never allowed himself to move an inch. It's a response Dean had never even hoped for, the openness, the willingness. He knows he could hurt Cas with this, knows he never would. Cas could hurt him just as easily.
Dean wrestles for control. He knows he has to win this battle, doesn't know why, but this is a war as well as incredibly arousing. He pushes Cas onto his back only to feel his partners legs encircle his waist.
Shit, Sam's in the next room and Dean's basically rutting Cas into the floor. If this is the upper hand he doesn't keep it long as Cas wrestles back on top, knees either side to pin Dean. He continues his assault, all tongue and clever fingers and well-timed thrusts of his pelvis.
Dean almost gives in, almost lies back and lets Cas do whatever the fuck is in his depraved head. He has a feeling letting Cas win would be far from the worst thing he could ever do. The way his fingers are moving along Dean's jaw speak of deeper, darker fantasies. Cas is a genius it would seem, an evil genius.
Dean finds one more burst of defiance, flipping Cas again. It's a moment too long without Cas's lips against his. He rushes in for another all-encompassing meeting of teeth and tongues, loses his balance as Cas shoves up. Dean finds himself straddling his partners lap. Cas has his fingers hooked into Dean's belt loops, his mouth on Dean's neck.
Dean gasps, Cas had just moved a hand to his fly. Already too tight, now they felt like torture.
"Sam. Next room," Dean manages to mouth.
Cas shrugs. "If he comes out now then he's an idiot," Cas says simply. There's complete and utter committal in his eyes, nothing is going to change his mind.
Dean can barely find it in himself to disagree. Cas has thrown down the gauntlet, he'd be an idiot to back off now.
So he doesn't.
The light blue shirt Cas is wearing personally affronts Dean and so he gets to shedding it as quickly as he can. Cas shrugs it off, hands leaving Dean's side for the minimum amount of time.
Dean's glad Cas is wearing a button down, he's more annoyed by his own undershirt that Cas has to sweep off over his head. In the darkness and disorientation Dean finds himself once more flat out on his back.
Cas breaths a laugh above him, stilling Dean with the show of humour.
"What?" Cas growls as Dean grins. "Dean?"
"You're cute when you smile."
Cas chooses to fight back by burying his face in Dean's neck, nipping at the soft skin beneath his ear. He wants to fight but once more he's stilled by Cas's hands on the button of his jeans. They open easily, the fly sliding down of it's own accord.
He's compliant as Cas pokes him to lift his ass so he can drag the jeans down and off, moving back for a moment to pull the denim free.
Dean takes a quick deep breath.
"Holy shit," he whispers as Cas eyes his boxers, lids heavy over the blue.
He'd known it before but now he's sure, Cas is a cocktease. He sits back looking beautiful, bending forward slowly, taking his time searching Dean's body with his eyes.
"No you don't," Dean shakes his head sitting up to grab Cas's jeans. He propels them both to his feet, stumbling together. He flips open the button, falls to his knees as he pulls the other man's trousers down his thighs.
Cas lays a hand in his hair, fists his fingers as he steps out the material and Dean's hands settle on his hips.
Dean takes a deep breath, steadying himself as he sees just how much he makes Cas feel.
Cas puts pressure on his scalp though and Dean feels his head pulled back just as Cas had before.
"As I said Dean," he says, tilting his head all power and beauty. "If we do this, we do it my way."
Dean stands at gentle insistence till he's face to face with Cas.
"How's that Cas?" he can only breathe and even that's difficult with the anticipation building within him.
In an instant Cas is at him again, shoving him back into the wall strong and irresistible. Dean shoves him back, refusing to let his lips go but wanting to move him. Cas accepts the challenge grabbing at Dean as Dean fights him back towards his bedroom.
They fall through the door, loud and crass. It bangs off the wall with a shudder. Dean kicks it shut, pushing Cas up against the wood.
"Like this?"
Cas scrambles for purchase but Dean dodges his lips and moves his hand down Cas's stomach to rest on his pubic bone. So close.
There's a light in the man's eyes that Dean hasn't seen before. This is the real Cas, open and uninhibited. This is the Cas that had never been locked in a freezer box as his in all but blood sister committed suicide.
"Shit you're gorgeous when you smile," Dean says and lets Cas finally find him lips.
With a surge and a kiss that spiked in a grin Cas has him on the bed.
"Underwear," Cas pants as he presses heavy into Dean. They fight and fumble, finally naked and Cas remains over Dean gently moving his hips in a way that drives Dean past the edge of distraction.
"Cas just get on already," he growls reaching but Cas just pins his arms above his head.
"Patience," he whispers and Dean feels the need to snap his teeth in Cas's direction. The bass chuckle he gets in return is probably the sexiest thing he's heard.
A proper roll of his hips makes Dean putty in Cas's capable hands. He moves with him, feeling the friction and loosing himself.
He can't fight anymore, can't be anything but pliant and heated and willing.
Cas is breathing heavy into his neck. His hands have released Dean's and so he reaches around to pull Cas closer, always closer, as if they could get any closer.
He can barely breathe now. Neither can Cas. Their breath hitches, their hearts stumbling as they reach to find what they're searching for.
Dean sleeps. He's exhausted, worn out and completely spent in the best possible way.
He sleeps 6 hours which when he wakes he thinks must be a record.
In fact the only reason he does is because Cas wakes and immediately sits bolt upright in the bed.
Dean wraps his arms around him, soothing and reassuring.
"Cas it's me. It's alright. It's me. Come on it's me. Cas. It'll be ok. Cas. Cas."
It takes time but Cas comes back to him blinking the fear from his large blue eyes.
"Remember last night," Dean whispers with a smile as Cas relaxes back into his, naked back to naked chest. "Remember why you're here. Remember why you have that hickie on your neck."
Cas slaps a hand over the red bruise Dean blows on.
"Remember how you cried out. Remember how you could barely make it to this bed."
He drops a hand to Cas's lap, with a lazy roll of his hips he lets Cas feel his own excitement.
"Remember how I touched you? You remember don't you? You remember where those scratches came from too, don't you?"
Cas lets his head fall back, his mouth is open, eyes closed. He's lost in sensation, lost to Dean's touch.
Dean starts rolling his hips in rhythm to his strokes.
"Remember shouting my name."
Dean punctuates with an exaggerated roll of his hips. It makes Cas arch and gasp.
They slow, the adrenaline coursing through their systems making them shaky and dim witted.
They lie, eyes half lidded, limbs entangled. Dean strokes over Cas's cheek as Cas plays with his free hand.
It's almost awkward, except Dean won't let himself be scared of Cas. He knows the guy too well to be intimidated by his silence.
Cas is touching him, stroking him, sharing his time and that means more than any words ever could.
Midday and Dean is forced from the bed by his phone.
"I didn't want to come in," Sam says in a tight voice.
"Good," Dean answers him, his eyes scan the naked man lying on his side across his mattress.
"Look right I know Cas is there. I need to speak with him. It's about C&C. They've made a bid. We've accepted. The case is their's as long as Cas agrees too."
"The hell Sam?" Dean exclaims forgetting to keep his voice down around the sleeping Cas.
Cas stirs and Dean slides back onto the bed. He leans over the half-awake man, running a feather light hand up his back.
"It's a great deal. Henriksen gets to continue on and so I do too. I get to work for C&C. This could be huge Dean."
Dean stills his anger. He gets the feeling that C&C taking over will not be a good thing.
"Yeah well I hope so."
Cas waves an annoyed hand at Dean trying to bat him away. Dean can't help but smile as he continues to run gentle fingers along the most sensitive parts of his lover.
"You home?"
"I'll be back at 2. Please pick up by then. I do not need to see my client's discarded clothes on my living room floor ever again."
Dean laughs as Sam hangs up, bending over to lay a kiss on Cas's shoulder.
"Up sleepyhead," he demands pulling at Cas's arm.
Cas has no interest though, coming up only because Dean makes him before slumping onto Dean's shoulder.
"Maybe you're not such a bad drunk, you're just awful when you're tired."
Cas kisses his shoulder, snuggling in, begging Dean with his mouth not to have to wake up.
The trust and openness continues to awe Dean.
"Come on. Up, now."
Dean slides back off the bed, pulling Cas so he's standing in his arms. His eyes are still closed, his arms heavy around Dean's shoulders.
"Is this purely some kind of excuse not to have to let go of me?"
Immediately Cas is away and picking up his things. Dean takes the chance to study Cas's long figure.
"Dean?"
He hadn't realised Cas had turned. He's looking over his shoulder, causing his back muscles to move in interesting ways.
"Hey-uh?" Dean mumbles.
Cas turns to him fully and Dean swallows air. Warm hands bracket his face, the naked man before him everything he ever dreamed of.
"Hey Cas," he manages.
"Hello Dean."
Their kiss is sweet and tender, beautiful and longing. Dean feels it from the air he breaths to the blood that pumps through his veins.
"What did Sam call about?"
"He wanted to speak to you, but he was scared you'd be spread out naked on our couch if he just showed up."
Cas shrugs. "That is a possibility."
The gravel of his voice goes straight to Dean's groin. "He's going to have to be careful to always knock before he enters."
Long time coming?
(Damn I just read that back, that is not a euphemism!)
(Well maybe a little)
The end is in sight
Just one more chapter to go!
And again thanks for the follows/favourites/reviews. I love hearing what you think!
