Chapter 4: Edna in the Hospital

Over the next few weeks, Howard and the girls continued fussing over Edna and waiting on her hand and foot, despite her protests. However, it didn't take her long to start enjoying being truly pampered for the first time ever in her life. While Edna still took care of a lot of the cooking, Howard and the girls handled everything else with the shop, which really took a load off her mind. They all did everything they could to make certain her life was as stress-free as possible, and thanks to their efforts, it truly was.

Unfortunately, that all changed one night in late January. Edna was now twenty-six weeks into her pregnancy and her abdomen was considerably rounder. As she sat up in bed with Howard that night, the two of them reading, Howard inadvertently did something that brought tears to her eyes.

As Edna was reading that night, the baby suddenly turned a cartwheel inside her, and Edna put her book down, held her stomach, and let out a big sigh.

Howard then put his book down, looked over at his wife, and asked her, "What is it? Are you alright?"

Edna nodded and replied, "I'm fine, Howard. It seems that our little one isn't quite ready to settle down for the night. She just turned a cartwheel."

"Looks as though Pebbles is going to be quite a gymnast."

Edna laughed and said, "You really should stop calling her Pebbles."

"Do you have any better ideas?"

"Oh, I don't know," Edna said as she gently rubbed her round stomach. "I've been considering what Natalie said a while back about how we ought to call her Spring since she'll be coming in the springtime. She's due in May, so perhaps we can call her May. Or, given the fact that flowers come into bloom in the spring, maybe we can name her after a flower. Maybe we can call her Lilly or Violet or Daisy or Jasmine, something like that."

"How about Rose?"

Edna shook her head and told him, "I don't think so, dear. We already have a Rose in the family, so that name's taken. Remember, Jo's mother is named Rose."

"Oh, yeah."

"Thankfully, we still have a little time left to decide, although I know she'll be here before we know it."

"Well, you can call her what you like. As for me, I'm always going to call her by her nickname, and that's Pebbles."

Edna laughed again and said, "You never give up, do you?"

"Nope," he said with a smile.

It was then that the baby began a barrage of kicking inside Edna, and Edna again held her stomach and laughed. "Oh, my goodness," she gasped.

"What? Another cartwheel?" asked Howard.

"No, she's not turning cartwheels, but she is getting her exercise!" In that moment, Edna took Howard's hand, put it on her abdomen, and told him, "Here. Feel for yourself."

For the next several moments, Howard felt his daughter kicking up a storm. Finally, he laughed and said, "She's a gymnast, that one. I think our daughter just might end up in the Olympics someday."

"You may be right," Edna said with a chuckle. "Or, she could go on to be a very athletic doctor or judge or chef or homemaker. She can be anything she wants."

"With the exception of a politician or a serial killer – both of which are basically the same thing," Howard teased, and Edna laughed once again.

"You're right about that," she agreed.

"Wait a minute, Edna."

"What is it?"

"I think I've figured it out. I think I know why our baby's putting up such a fuss tonight."

"Why is that?"

"Well think about it. You've got an interesting story to read before you go to sleep. I'm over here reading an interesting story. Pebbles is jealous because nobody's reading a bedtime story to her. She feels left out."

Edna jokingly rolled her eyes at her husband and said, "You are so crazy, Howard."

"I'm being serious," he insisted.

"You're being silly."

"I'll prove it to you. I'll go downstairs and get out one of those children's books we bought for the baby the other day, and I'll read her a story. If she calms down when the story's over, you will have no choice but to admit that I was right."

"You're welcome to give it a try," Edna told him, although she remained skeptical.

Howard leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, and then he said, "Be right back."

He then put his book down on his nightstand, got up out of bed, and left. He came back a couple of minutes later holding a copy of Sleeping Beauty in his hands.

"This ought to be interesting," Edna said as soon as he walked back into their bedroom.

Howard walked around to Edna's side of the bed a couple of moments later and sat down, and then he began to read. And sure enough, it seemed that hearing her father's voice was enough to calm her down and make her go to sleep.

"Well isn't that something?" asked Edna as she laid her hand on her abdomen again.

"Told ya," Howard said with a big grin. He then bent down, kissed his wife's pregnant stomach, and whispered, "Goodnight, Pebbles."

It was in that instant that pregnancy hormones got the best of Edna and she suddenly began crying. Poor Howard was at a loss, having no idea what he'd done wrong.

"I…I…I'm sorry, Edna," he stammered. "If it upsets you that much, I won't ever read Sleeping Beauty to her again. Next time, I'll read her Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Cinderella or The Little Engine That Could."

Edna shook her head, wiped her eyes, and explained, "That's not it, Howard. That's not it at all. You haven't done anything wrong. It's just that the last two times I was pregnant, I never had anybody to support me like this. I didn't have a loving, faithful, involved husband to go with me for doctor's visits and rub my shoulders and nag at me to rest more often and read bedtime stories to the baby before it was even born. My parents always loved me and gave me their support whenever I needed it as a girl, but the minute I eloped with Robert and moved away with him, I was basically all on my own, despite the fact that I was married. And I'd been all on my own for so many years. All on my own with my boys until they grew up and moved out. Then again with the girls. I always had to be strong one. All the responsibility for everybody else's lives always fell on my shoulders and on my shoulders alone. Now, all of the sudden, I'm not on my own anymore. Now, for the first time, I have someone to go through all of life's ups and downs with me. I have someone to shoulder all the responsibility with me. I have someone to turn to when I don't feel strong enough to handle everything on my own."

Howard responded simply by kissing Edna and taking her into his arms. After a couple of minutes, he whispered in her ear, "You're going to get me started."

Edna smiled through her tears then, and once their long embrace ended, she said, "I'm sorry. It's these stupid pregnancy hormones. They've got my emotions all over the place."

"Now, Edna, you don't have to apologize to me for your emotions. Heck, nobody has more of a right to be emotional than you do. Growing a new life inside you is a big job, and big jobs come with big emotions. It's nothing to be sorry for. And your hormones are not stupid. God put them there for a reason. They're there to help our baby grow big and strong, so she'll be able to live in the outside world in a few months."

"I know that," Edna admitted.

"I love everything about you, Edna. I love your strength. I love your tenderness. I love your generosity. I love your sweetness. I love your smile. I really love your cooking. And, I love your hormones."

Edna had a good laugh at that, and then she told Howard, "You are so goofy."

"It's true!" he insisted as Edna continued to laugh. "They're nice hormones. They're cute hormones."

Edna laughed out loud, and then she put her arms around Howard and gave him a very long kiss. A couple of seconds later, she said, "I love you everything about you too, Howard. So much."

They shared another kiss, and by the time it ended, both of them were ready to turn off the lights and turn in. But just as Howard was about to get up and go over to his side of the bed, Edna suddenly let out a cry of pain and grabbed her abdomen.

"What is it, Edna? What's wrong?" asked a very worried Howard.

"Contraction," Edna gasped.

Unable to think of anything else to do, Howard simply took Edna's hand in his own and held her gaze with his eyes until the contraction finally passed about thirty seconds later.

"Is it over?" he asked then.

Edna nodded and answered, "It's over." Then while fighting off tears, she said, "Oh Howard, I can't believe this is happening. We can't let her come now. It's too early. It's way too early."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm going to bring the car around to the back door, and then I'll help you downstairs and into the car, and we'll haul butt to the hospital. The doctors will know what to do. We're not going to let her come now. I promise."

"We should tell the girls what's going on," said Edna as Howard got up from her bedside and opened the doors to their closet.

While putting on his robe and slippers, he told her, "I'll call home from the E.R. and I'll explain everything to whoever picks up the phone."

Edna then turned to where she was sitting up on the side of the bed, and she asked, "Howard, will you help me with my slippers, please?"

"Of course. Do you want your robe, too?" he inquired, and Edna responded with a nod.

A couple of minutes later, as Howard was helping Edna down the stairs, Tootie heard their voices and the noise and stuck her head out the bedroom door. Howard quickly told her what was going on, and then he helped Edna out into the car and practically flew to the hospital at the speed of light. The girls, all of whom had immediately jumped into Blair's Porsche, were not far behind.

To say the least, it was a very worrisome night for everyone, Edna most of all. Edna had a few more contractions, but mercifully, the E.R. doctor on call that night was able to stop them. The doctor explained that there was a higher risk of preterm labor happening in women over forty, but he assured Edna and Howard that they were going to do everything they could to make sure their baby didn't come prematurely. After the girls stayed with Edna and Howard until the wee hours of the morning, Edna admonished them to go home and try to get at least a couple of hours of sleep before class. They were naturally reluctant to leave, but when Howard insisted as well and told them that he'd like to be alone with Edna for a while, they were basically left with no choice but to go back home.

The doctor soon decided Edna would be better off at one of the larger hospitals in Manhattan where she and her baby would be in the hands of doctors who specialized in high-risk pregnancies, and later on that morning, she was transferred to the new hospital via ambulance. As would be expected, Howard followed behind in their car. Very soon after she arrived, a new gynecologist there, Dr. Bianca Hill, who specifically treated pregnant women thirty-five and older, met with Edna and Howard. While she remained as optimistic as possible, though, she didn't sugarcoat things for them either. She was very upfront with them about the risks.

And although Edna didn't like it when Dr. Hill told her that the best thing was for her to remain in the hospital on bedrest for the rest of her pregnancy, she didn't try to argue. She certainly wasn't thrilled with the prospect of being bedridden for so long, but she knew it really was what was best, both for her baby and for her. Given her age and her history of hypertension, she was actually somewhat relieved that from now until the day of her delivery, she was going to be under the constant care and supervision of a team of medical professionals. And while Howard would obviously miss his wife a great deal, he too agreed that it was for the best, as did the girls.

Over the next eight weeks, Edna was able to get some much-needed rest and relaxation, despite all her worries about the pregnancy and preterm labor. Thankfully, she never had another contraction in that time, and even though she'd had to come off her medication for hypertension, her blood pressure did amazingly well. Most likely, that was because she was now free from the stress of running a business and caring for four teenagers, not to mention the fact that the hospital now had her on the strictest low-sodium diet in human history! Edna usually did eat well in the past, but she'd always been weak when it came to salt. Now, there was no way she could get away with putting any salt on her food whatsoever, and again, she wasn't thrilled about it, but she didn't complain because she knew it was necessary. And it was the same story for the girls and Howard. They all missed her tremendously, but none of them griped or complained about the current situation because they understood how important it was for Edna to be away and focus on herself and the baby now.

One Saturday at the end of her thirty-third week of pregnancy, Howard and the girls went to visit Edna as they always did on the weekends. Howard often made the drive in the evenings to visit her during the week, but the girls weren't able to since they had homework and a bunch of other extracurricular activities to deal with, which Edna understood. And the fact of the matter was that while she loved the girls with all her heart and soul, she truly was grateful for the alone-time with her husband. However, she really did look forward to the weekends when she got to spend some time with the entire family, and today was no exception.

Everyone arrived in her hospital room at mid-morning, and they talked and laughed for the next several hours. Blair remained uncharacteristically quiet and Edna could easily see it that Blair had a lot on her mind, but even so, she did seem to enjoy being there as much as the others did. But Edna was still concerned, and when everybody got ready to leave at four that afternoon, she asked Blair to stay behind for a few minutes so she could have a word with her.

As soon as they had the room to themselves, Blair sat down in an uncomfortable chair beside Edna's bed and asked, "What is it, Mrs. Garrett?"

"I want to know what's going on."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean. Blair, I've known you for over four years. I think that's enough time to get to know a person pretty well."

"You do know me pretty well, Mrs. Garrett," Blair agreed.

"That I do. And I can tell when something's bothering you. Out with it. What's the matter?"

"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal. And besides, I think you have enough concerns of your own," Blair said as she reached over and patted Edna's now very round stomach, "without worrying about mine." After taking her hand away, she continued, "And anyway, I'm in college now. I am officially an adult. It's about time I learned to handle my own problems without running to you for advice every other second."

It was true that as the daughter of two millionaires, Blair Warner really was your typical spoiled, snobby princess. However, underneath it all, she truly did care about Mrs. Garrett and the girls and she did know how to be kind, mature, and thoughtful when the occasion called for it.

Edna knowingly smiled at her arguments and said, "It is true that as you mature into adulthood, you're naturally going to become more independent and learn how to navigate the rough seas of life on your own. But you haven't been at the helm very long. You've been an adult all of two minutes. It's understandable that at this stage of your life, you may still encounter a problem or two that you can't handle all by yourself."

"I guess, but still, I don't want you worrying about it. You should just focus on yourself and your baby right now. This can wait."

"Yes, but if you walk out of this room without telling me what's bothering you, I'm still going to worry about you anyway, so you may as well just go on and tell me about it."

Blair laughed softly then, realizing that there was no way she was going to win this argument. "You're not going to quit, are you?" she teased.

"Nope. You ought to know that by now."

"Alright. You win," Blair said with a smile. "Here goes. Every night since you told us you were pregnant, Jo has waited until she thought all the rest of us were asleep in our room and then she's gotten on her knees beside her bed and prayed for you and the baby. I've heard her prayers every night for months. I suspect Natalie and Tootie have, too. We just know better than to say anything. We know Jo probably wants to keep it private."

"That's very sweet and thoughtful of Jo. I really appreciate that."

"Yeah," Blair said quietly.

"But why do Jo's prayers seem to bother you so much?"

After a long pause, Blair finally answered, "I don't know. This whole idea of having faith in some invisible entity…I just find it really disturbing for a number of reasons. God, or the idea of God, can have some terrible consequences for people and their families. When I was a little girl, my mother married this man named Allan, and he had a daughter named Meg. Meg and I adored each other. Maybe we were only related by marriage for a little while, but she was always the closest thing to a sibling I ever had. She wrote to me a few months ago and told me that she had made up her mind that she wanted to become a nun. Both of her parents were furious, and that was an understatement. Her decision really seemed to tear their family apart. She had hoped to work as a teacher in a Catholic school after getting her degree and taking her vows, but because her parents were so livid about her desire to be a nun, she eventually decided that their reaction was God's way of telling her that He didn't want her to join the convent. She's still working on her teaching degree, but she doesn't have any plans to become a nun anymore. Her crazy love and devotion to this invisible, mythical being almost destroyed her relationships with her parents. It nearly ruined her entire family.

"And having faith in what you would call 'God' certainly did its fair share of damage to me, too. When I was a little kid, I always did what my parents and my nannies said. Every night before I went to bed, I washed my face, I brushed my teeth, and I said my prayers. I was so naïve back then that I actually believed He was listening to me; that He cared; that He was watching over my family and me. But then I got a cold, harsh wake-up call. I believed. I stayed up and I prayed to God all night long. I begged Him. But all the begging and pleading and tears in the world meant nothing to Him. He didn't care. The very next day, June 14, 1973, my parents' divorce became final.

"You know, in a lot of ways, I actually envy Jo and Meg. They're both so intelligent, yet when it comes to this issue, they allow themselves to be so gullible. I wish I could lie to myself and allow myself to be as gullible as they are when it comes to Christ. I'd love very much to be able to believe that there is this invisible deity out there called Christ who created the world and humanity; who has all this power and cares about what happens to us and even died on a cross to save us from hell. Part of me even wishes that I could pray for you and your baby the way Jo does every night when she thinks the rest of us are sleeping. But I can't because I know better. I know the truth. God, if He even exists, is not moved by our tears and our pain and our suffering. He's perfectly content to let our prayers go in one ear and out the other. Trusting God to heal my broken family was a huge mistake, and it's not a mistake that I'm going to make again. I'm not going to trust Him with you and your baby, and quite frankly, Jo shouldn't either. If we do, He'll just let us down."

Edna then took in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. At last, she responded, "I know, sweetheart. I know you've been in a lot of pain your whole life. But God is not responsible for your parents' divorce or for all the pain Meg went through with her parents. Those things happened as a result of the choices of people, not God. The good Lord gave humanity free will, Blair. Right from the very beginning, the first man and the first woman had the ability to decide for themselves whether or not to obey God. God could have forced His will on them; He could have forced them to do the right thing and to obey Him, but had He done so, it would have been a kind of rape. When the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit first created humanity, They never wanted a bunch of mindless robots who couldn't think for themselves. They wanted people in this world who could make up their own minds, which is why They gave us the gift of free will. Had God intervened and prevented your parents from getting a divorce, He would have been taking away their free will. God doesn't like it any better than we do when people make choices that hurt other people, as your parents' divorce hurt you, but He's not going to try to ram His desires down anyone's throat."

Blair remained silent for the next minute or so, and then finally, she admitted, "I never thought of it that way. You may have a point, Mrs. Garrett."

"It's always been my experience, Blair, that Jesus often takes even the things that hurt us the most and turns them around into something positive. Even though your parents' divorce caused you so much pain, in the long run, it actually gave you a kind of empathy you never would have had otherwise. When you were still at Eastland and any of the students were having problems at home, they would always seek you out. They would always turn to you. And because you understood firsthand what they were going through, you were able to help them. And as for Meg, there's no doubt that her parents could have chosen to handle the situation far better than they did. Their angry reaction to Meg's desire to join the convent was their fault and their fault alone, not God's. However, I think that maybe Meg's right. I tend to believe that in many cases, things really do happen the way they're meant to happen, and it may very well be that the good Lord has something else in store for her. I really do believe that things happen in life for a reason. And I guess I tend to think that way because I've seen it play out for myself in my own life. Back in the day, when I was a young wife and mother in a struggling marriage, I was absolutely miserable. I used to cry out to God in prayer, begging Him over and over and over again to do something to change Robert; to make him into the kind of husband and father the boys and I needed. Now, I see that if God had answered that prayer; if He had given me what I was crying and begging for at the time, I would have missed out on so much. Most likely, I'd still be a housewife today, living with Robert in our little apartment in Manhattan. I probably never would have gone on to become a registered nurse. I probably never would have done all the different jobs I did throughout my life or gone to all the interesting places I've traveled to. Lord knows I probably would never have gone to work at Eastland and gotten to know you girls. And if things had worked out with Robert, I never would have had Howard in my life, and I wouldn't have this dear little one on the way," Edna said as she smiled and patted her stomach.

"I guess you really do have a point, Mrs. Garrett. Maybe things really do happen in life for a reason."

"I believe they do."

"Don't ever tell Jo I said this, but I know that even if I do try the whole faith thing again, I'll never be as good at it as she is. I never will forget one time a couple of years ago when I accidentally overheard Jo talking on the payphone to her Aunt Evelyn. Apparently, she was giving Jo a hard time because she hadn't gone to confession in so long. I never will forget what Jo said to her. After she talked to her about a lot of the problems she had with Catholicism theologically, she explained that she didn't go to confession anymore because doing penance made her feel like she was trying to earn her salvation through her own works, and that that flies right in the face of what true Christianity is all about. She said that true Christianity isn't about works; it's about relationship. More specifically, it's about having a real relationship with Christ. She even admitted to her aunt that there was one time in her life when she'd actually considered becoming a nun, but she eventually realized that God wanted something else from her, and that He didn't expect grand gestures like joining a convent as proof that she loved Him. I realized it then that Jo would do anything for God. I'm not sure I can imagine a faith like that."

"That's very true. That kind of faith doesn't happen on its own, and there's nothing we can do to conjure it up. It can only happen if we go to God and ask Him to reveal Himself to us. And as for matters of theology, I very much agree with Jo. If we could actually earn our way into heaven through our own good works; if doing penance were enough to pay the price for all the sins we've committed against God and others, then Christ would never have needed to go to the cross. We can never be good enough to get into heaven on our own, Blair. That's the entire point. We need Christ's help. We need His divine intervention on our behalf. But that cannot happen unless we trust Him and hand our lives over to Him. We're not always going to get what we want when we pray, Blair, but if we trust God, we can always believe that He's going to work everything out for good."

Blair slowly nodded, taking it all in. Then after several long, silent moments, she finally said, "I think I understand what you're saying. And there may come a time when I'm ready to trust Him like that, but that time is not now. Even though I think I understand why He allowed my parents' divorce to go through when I was a kid, that still doesn't change the fact that I've felt betrayed by Him for a long time. You don't get over something like that overnight. And maybe there will come a time before the baby's born when I'll be able to pray for her and for you the way Jo can, but I'm not there yet."

Edna, too, remained silent for the next few moments as she contemplated how to respond. And then suddenly, it came to her, and she said, "Blair, what if I were to tell you that God hears every prayer? It's true. God hears every kind of prayer there is. He hears the prayers we say in our minds. He hears the prayers we speak out loud. He sees the prayers we write and He hears the prayers we sing. And He even hears the silent prayers – the prayers that exist deep down inside us that we can't say yet, even in our own thoughts."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

Blair smiled then, fighting off tears for a little while before she finally rose from her seat, bent over, kissed Mrs. Garrett's cheek, and gave her a very long hug. "You're an amazing person, Mrs. Garrett," Blair whispered, and Edna responded by simply reaching up and touching her cheek.

In that moment, Blair reached up, took Mrs. Garrett's hand in her own, and gave it a loving squeeze. Then without a word, she grabbed her purse and left so Mrs. Garrett wouldn't see the tears starting to form in her eyes.