Superman had hoped that Batman's date with Flash would be less noticeable than his own to prevent the story from getting more attention, but of course that was impossible especially with Wally dragging Bruce to no less than six restaurants trying to get his fill and the paparazzi caught them at every one.
The story released featured headlines ranging from, "Wayne dating six identical red-headed young men!", "Already cheating on his new beau with a mysterious new man", "Bruce Wayne dining and dashing with new Red compatriot", "Bruce Wayne's ever changing tastes!" Superman stopped reading not wanting to look any more. The problem was two-pronged the first being that while most of the league missed the articles featuring him, with this round of press both he and Wally were being mentioned as competing for Bruce's heart or something of the like and members might see it this time. The second issue was that he was becoming slightly more noticeable to normal people, glasses might hide his secret identity, but in his everyday life he'd been noticed a few times as looking like, "that guy that Wayne went out with."
Bruce of course couldn't be bothered to be subtle stopping to talk to the press saying things like, "You have to appreciate a man with a good appetite" or when asked about Clark saying, "I can't be bound so easily, he needs to step up his game if he wants to keep me from being snatched away, I'm prime realty." Some people knew he was joking, Lois in particular was getting a kick out of the headlines. Of course because she was still in contact with Bruce, which got on his nerves, she was kept updated. The only thing she didn't know or refused to accept was that Clark wasn't in love with Bruce. However, she was fine with believing Wally was just a friend who wanted a meal. It was a horrible double standard born from his blatant distaste for Bruce when they first met, which was mostly out of jealousy and distrust.
Things were only bound to get worse whenever Bruce and Diana went out and though he didn't know the exact date, he knew it had to be coming soon.
When Superman ran into the Flash the day after reports started to come out he seemed was extremely pleased with how things were going. He was carrying around a magazine and poring over it carefully.
"I look pretty good in those shots, I didn't know I was so photogenic," Flash nodded to himself, "Right now I'm Mr. Steal your man." He looked at Superman like this was the funniest thing that had happened in forever chuckling as he spoke, "Seriously it's Flash vs. Superman for Batman's hand, this is ridiculous, right?" If he was expecting Superman to laugh he was missing the mark, Superman could literally only think of the negative possibilities of all this. This was of course only further confirmed when Batman decided to walk by only saying, "Wonder Woman is looking for you two. I hope she can live up to my previous dates. She seemed quite excited reading about yours."
Flash sobered immediately at the implications, even with his devil-may-care attitude he must have known the warpath Wonder Woman was likely on. Flash fled his excuse only being that he left his cat running and Superman for his part didn't bother with an excuse, he doubted he had to explain his actions to Batman.
He resolved to stay out of everyone's way until Wonder Woman had her date, which with any luck would go so well she stopped caring about any of this. He absolutely would not get involved at all.
The only reason he was currently following Bruce and Diana through Gotham was because he wanted to make sure he knew what to expect in the near future, regarding the possible fallout. He wasn't a stalker despite skulking around under the cover of darkness in a sweatshirt, if anything he felt a bit like Batman. Honestly he didn't really foresee problems as long as he was careful. The pair pulled up in front of a restaurant that he triumphantly noticed it seemed slightly less fancy then his date was. The bill would likely still cost hundreds of dollars for two people, but still. The main difference was that using his x-ray vision he could tell the tables were set around a dance floor, which explained the location choice, Diana did want to dance and Bruce had a habit of indulging her despite his decision not to pursue a full relationship. Clark guessed the reasoning was that one date couldn't hurt because he'd been pretty adamant up to this point.
Clark hid in a tree across the street from the restaurant to watch the two and listen in, it was a fairly good vantage point and provided decent coverage especially in the dark. He almost groaned aloud as Bruce stopped to brag about how beautiful his date was and Diana made sure to get a few good poses while the paparazzi took pictures. By the time they made it inside and took their seats Clark was sure there was already plenty of material for every newspaper and trashy magazine to publish.
Partway through the meal when Diana got up to use the restroom, Bruce started messing around with his napkin and Clark belatedly realized he was writing on it. After a few moments he angled the napkin directly towards Clark and on it was written, "I know you're there" and a rudimentary drawing of Superman behind bars. What that exactly meant he didn't know, but the most important issue was that he'd been caught. Clark was stuck for the time being because reporters were still milling around and they'd notice if he tried to get down so he had to hope Bruce didn't say anything to Diana. He was too bulky to jump out of a tree when there were a few reporters milling around almost directly below him. Thankfully people had their eyes and cameras trained on the restaurant, and Superman didn't have to resort to causing an accident to distract them.
Throughout the rest of the meal, which seemed to go well, and their dance, which was quite elegant, Bruce didn't mention him at all. Clark thought he was actually safe and Bruce was doing him a solid. However, when they were on the balcony chatting Bruce suddenly turned to him and said extremely loudly enunciating every word clearly, "Is someone spying on us? Who's in that in the tree over there?" He pointed directly at him and both Diana and some of the reporters turned to look directly at Clark. Once the first few reporters saw him all the rest started to look as well and in only a few seconds he had dozens of cameras shooting pictures of him. He couldn't fly without risking his identity so he had to drop out of the tree and run with his face covered. With the leaves blocking him, the dark, and his hood he was pretty sure he was able to cover most of his face. If Diana could shoot beams out of here eyes Clark was positive he'd have been fried during his escape, he suddenly didn't feel much like Batman any more.
He ducked into an alleyway and managed to lose them. The first thing he did was fly to his apartment to curse Bruce and write his obituary because he was pretty sure Diana was going to steal some Kryptonite and make him eat it for interrupting her date.
He suddenly came up with a genius idea that would allow him to avoid everything, all he had to do was find some Superman clone, there were probably a few laying around in someone's basement, and dress it like Clark Kent. Then he'd pretend to have a twin brother, Kirk Kent, and blame it all on him. It was perfect then Kirk could go back to wherever he was hanging around before. Clark could come out of it smelling like roses. Sure he didn't have the specifics down, but they weren't all that important in the end.
Yeah Kirk the clone was the crazy stalker and Clark was just his disapproving twin all he needed was the actual clone and probably Batman's support because people would buy it if he played along. He wasn't sure which would be harder to get on such short notice.
A/N
Yes, the genius that is Clark decided to russle up a clone and pin the blame on him. I was going to name the clone Clerk Kent, but even for one of my characters it was a bit too dumb in this story. This is the part where we start slipping off the deep end, but who knows maybe things will get back on track to a normal story...
I'm extremely aware that I haven't updated this in forever, but this chapter called out to me. The next chapter won't take nearly as long because I have half planned in my head, but I have other stories I'm updating for Justice League it'll be mainly PSA of Justice and a new chapter for What's a Date Worth. (So if you read those expect updates soon)
Please follow or favorite to see when I update and leave a review to let me know what you think. If this story does take a romantic turn it'll be a little while, but it seems most people are happy to stick to comedy. Let me know if you start to feel otherwise.
