Red Lightning
S1E4: Weight of the Problem

It started when Red Lightning split the sky one night. The lightning struck everyone, and anybody struck, was given awesome powers.

Double-D was given superhuman speed and reflexes. At Eddy's prompting, he decided to use his powers for good. He became Flashpoint!

Eddy was given the ability to become a humongous metal man. He decided to use his powers to garner fame and fortune. He became Quarterback!


"But baby," Dom said to his angry girlfriend. "She didn't mean anything. You're the only one I care about."

"LIAR!" Misty Valentine shout as she prodded Dom in the chest. "You! Are! A! Freaking! PIG!"

"Come on, you know you can't get enough of me." Dom said.

"You cocky bumwipe!" Misty said, enraged.

Misty pounced on Dom, tackling him to the ground.

"What I tell ya, can't get enough of me." Dom smiled.

Misty closed her eyes, and concentrated. She appeared to start counting.

"20…25…30…35." She said under her breathe. Dom started to have some trouble breathing.

"Ok, you can, *wheeze*, get off me now." Dom choked.

Misty ignored him and continued to count. "85…90…95…100!"

Dom was suffocating at this point, his chest being crushed.

"You-you're, *gasp*, TOO heavy!" Dom cried.

"300…400LBS!" Misty screamed, as Dom went splat underneath her.

Misty picked herself up and counted backs. "40…35Lbs. Ah, that's better." She said as she walked off.


Ed, Edd n' Eddy were on break at the Comedy Club. They had just done a few sets and were relaxing at the bar for twenty minutes.

"Another Cola, on the Rocks" Eddy said to the barmaid with a wave. He looked back at his friends empty glasses. "And make that order a triple.

The barmaid rolled her eyes as she refilled their glasses.

A young man with ambiguously brown skin and spiky black hair walked up to the bar and ordered a sprite. He wore a teal t-shirt that read "FINN"

"Hey," The barmaid asked. "You the new keyboard player?"

"Yeah." Finn said.

"What's this about a new Keyboard Player?" Eddy asked.

"Oh yeah, boss said your music was lacking a few "Bloops" so he hired this guy." She said. She patted Eddy on the head in a patronising manner. "Have fun."

"So, you my new co-workers, huh?" Finn said smoothly as he downed his sprite. He stuck his hand in a friendly manner. "Hey guys, I'm Finn."

"Ed,"

"Edd,"

"And Eddy!"

"Wow, you guys all have the same name?" Finn asked.

"I sometimes go by Double-D." Double-D with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm not gonna ask about that." Finn said, getting the wrong idea.

Finn changed his expression, and looked at them. "Have any of you got any of these weird powers from a storm that had magic bolts of lightning?" he said bluntly.

Double-D spat out his cola, and looked at Eddy and Ed in shock. They decided to huddle.

"This is bad guys, what if he knows something." Double-D whispered.

"What if he's some kind of Man in Black." Ed said.

"Fellas." Eddy interjected. "Just play it smooth. I got an idea."

They broke the huddle and Eddy spoke. "I dunno what you're talking about." He lied.

"Yeah, no, that's not going to work." Finn said. He tapped his head. "I'm telepathic, I can hear your thoughts, Quarterback, Flashpoint, and their oddly amusing sidekick."

Double-D put his hand to his forehead. "So what is it that you want? Are you going to blackmail us?"

"What? No!" Finn said indigently. "I was wondering if you up for helping me move house."

"What?" Eddy said, an eyebrow raised.

The was a loud bang at the door and Misty Valentine walked in, looking like she was on a rampage. She sat at the bar.

"Pint of Guinness, on the rocks!" She barked.

Double-D inched away.

Misty growled and downed the glass, ice and all.

"Another one" she ordered. The barmaid's mouth was wide open in astonishment at the speed of Misty's drinking, but obliged and refilled the glass.

"Somebody just broke up with her boyfriend." Finn whistle. He promptly ducked as Misty chucked a glass at his head.

"Who asked you!" Misty snapped.

"I think we should leave. She's got a superpower, she's been heartbroken by her cheating boyfriend and she's about to attack." Finn said as he quickly walked to the exist.

Ed, Edd n' Eddy followed, and true to Finn's claim, a man had been hurled out of the window.

"Eddy," Double-D said, his voice growing alarmed.

"Yeah, yeah." Eddy said. "IRON UP!"

Eddy transformed into Quarterback, while Double-D ran home to get changed. He ran back, this time as Flashpoint.

"Quarterback," Double-D said. "I want you to go brawling with her. No lethal blows though. Ed, get you video camera out, I want this on YouRoll. I'll evacuate the civilians. And Finn…um…"

"I'll watch Lumpy here." Finn said, give Ed a playful noogie.

"Sounds like a plan." Eddy said. "Come on you crazy chick! Here Comes ME!"

Eddy ran headstrong into the club, where Misty was jumping on stuff and crushing it. Both failed to notice to Black n' Green Blur that was making the bystanders disappear.

"You wanna party, do ya?" Eddy said, catching Misty's attention. "Alright then. LET'S PARTY!"

Eddy swung his fist, but Misty quickly said "0.2 Pounds!" and backflipped onto the ceiling. Eddy looked up, just in time to see Misty go "1000Lbs!" and drop down onto him.

Eddy easily caught her, a gave her a light squeeze. Misty panicked and yelped "10000Lbs!"

Eddy strained as he dropped her, his strength suddenly giving out.

Misty ran out the door, and changed her weight to -2Lbs, floating. She spotted Ed with his camera, looking up her skirt.

"SICKO!" She screamed, changing her weight to 2000lbs. She began to plummet towards Finn and Ed, with the intent of crushing.

"Stay Back!" Finn cried, as he telekinetically grabbed Misty, and threw her into the ground.

"Two Powers?" Double-D said in alarm. Finn telekinetically grabbed a dumpster and prepared to smash Misty. Double-D ran up to him and broke his focus, causing the dumpster to drop harmlessly.

"That's not how we handle things." Double-D growled, almost like he was warning Finn.

While his back was turned, Misty hopped onto his back.

"2000Lbs!" Misty cried, increasing her weight.

Double-D was floored, and Finn and Ed could hear the sickening crunch.

"DOUBLE-D!" Eddy cried, as the metal man bounded over to remove the Super-Powered Psychopath. Eddy heaved and hoed, but Misty kept increasing her weight, causing Double-D more pain.

"She's too heavy Double-D!" Eddy cried, as he tried in vain to remove her.

"I got this." Finn said as he thrust he's hand forward. "Go! Away!" He yelled as he telekinetically flung Misty across the street. At Misty's current weight, she ploughed a small ditch into the ground when she landed, falling unconscious from the impact.

Eddy quickly helped Double-D up, flinging his crushed body over his shoulder.

"Come on Big Fella. Let's get you home." Eddy said as he began to walk back to Double-D's.

"Wait." Double-D said weakly, clearly in no condition to speak. "Put this on her."

He held up a sticky note with the words "Arrest Me." Finn gave him a quizzical look.

"It's his calling card." Eddy smiled.

"Riiiigggghhht." Finn said, slowly nodding. "Ed, I believe you agreed to help me move it."

"I did?" Ed asked, checking his camera.


Double-D was left slumped on his sofa, in front of the nature channel, watching a documentary on whales. His chest was bandaged and his arms were cut. He had a black eye and a little blood was still on his lips.

There was a ring at the doorbell. Double-D walked towards the door and answered it. It was Marie.

Marie's face turned to a look of horror as she took note of Double-D's appearance.

"Oh, Double-D." Marie said, a little water welling up in her eyes. "Where do you go? Who does this to you?"

"It's nothing." Double-D said.

"That is not nothing." Marie said, pointing at Double-D's black eye.

"Please Marie, don't worry." Double-D said, stressing his voice.

"Is this because you can't tell me what's going on?" Marie said, tears welling up. "Why Double-D? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME IN!" Marie sobbed into Double-D's shoulder.

"I can't." Double-D said, on the verge of tears.

"YOU CAN'T WHAT!" Marie shouted.

Double-D broke down, bending over and crying on Marie's shoulder. "I can't hurt you. Not you. Not ever."

He pulled away, nearly collapsing. "Time drags on too slowly for that."

Marie helped him back to the sofa, where he promptly passed out. Marie let out a small sob, before leaving.


Finn and Ed had just finished assembling the sofa and plugging in the tv. Finn and Ed sat down, out of breath.

"Y'know, you're alright." Finn said as he gave Ed a friendly slap on the back. "Tell you what, I think I've got some beers in the fridge. You up for one?"

"Yup," Ed said.

Finn got up and left. Ed looked around, deciding to explore. It was a council house, so it wasn't very big. One room caught Ed's eye. It was covered in locks.

Ed smiled vacantly as he tapped each lock. They all came undone.

Finn was getting the bottles from the fridge when he heard Ed yell.

"Oh no no no!" Finn said as he ran to the room he hoped Ed hadn't found.

Finn saw Ed about to take off Sadie's tape, so he reacted out of instinct. So with a "Stay Back!" Finn thrust Ed into a wall.

"You mustn't touch her! You mustn't let her loose." Finn shouted.

Ed tried to pry himself of the wall. "Why was she chained up in you house!" Ed yelled, panicked.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"


[Next Time on Red Lightning]

"You let Sadie loose!" Finn said, almost having an heart attack.

"The dorks are twisted, I swear!" Kevin grunted, the word dork almost alien to him.

"Avast, ye scallywags, ye be no match for The Black Flashpoint!" Double-D shouted, brandishing a katana.

"Careful guys, this guy might just literally explode," Eddy whispered to the gang.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"