Teeloganroryflan: Aw thank you, I'm really happy to hear that you are! Thank you for your review!
Tanith Panic: Thank you for all three of your reviews on the previous chapters, it's lovely to hear your feedback! It's cool that you're curious as to why Jacob's acting that way, and the answer will be revealed soon. I hope it's not a disappointment at all. Thank you again for your reviews, and I hope you enjoy this update!
InfinityAndOne: Ethan's definitely a bad liar, but he's good at hiding things when he feels he needs to! It'd be so much easier if he just told everyone what was going on, but he feels he can deal with it alone. And I couldn't help but add a bit of caring Connie in there, I like that side of her a lot! Thank you for your review and I hope you like this next chapter!
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THREE MONTHS LATER
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Jacob's heart was hammering in his chest. It had been doing so all morning, and it was hardly a rare occurrence nowadays.
He held a hand to it, staring at his exhausted face in the mirror of his bathroom and desperately trying to cope with his chest tightening. Jacob had no way of relieving himself from any of it, he was left to struggle at the hands of his obviously faulty heart which was under the impression it was a hammer. He wanted it to stop, so badly, but it wouldn't.
He tried to pour himself some water straight from the tap, using the cup resting on the sink. Before it had even reached his mouth, a tremor ran through his arm and struck his hand, causing the glass of water to slip from his grasp.
The glass shattered into millions of pieces on the tiled bathroom floor, only just missing his bare feet.
Jacob's whole body filled head to toe with utter anger at every single part of this maddening planet. It took great strengths to avoid launching a fist at the bathroom mirror, which held the appearance of a man who was trembling with fury, but he managed it.
Jacob's mind flashed to someone. A bloke, doctor, glasses, easy to tower over, blond hair.
This person was also a great punching bag. Both mentally and physically, if that made sense.
Many people were, but not many people allowed Jacob to get away with such extremes. Ethan, it seemed, had just given up.
Sure, Jacob felt masses of guilt after throwing a fist or hearing his own voice go hoarse after screaming at Ethan so much, but whilst these feelings of anger just got stronger, he needed to find someone who he could let them out on.
He'd deal with the guilt later.
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Ethan's daily routine stayed the same as it had done for the past three months.
The drive to work, as always, would be quiet and mainly just Cal chatting to Ethan, trying to get some sort of conversation going but failing. Ethan would keep quiet, hardly uttering a word to everyone and only nodding in response to the usual 'good morning' that he'd received from many people. He would stay reserved for the remainder of the day, too anxious to eat a full lunch in the knowledge that Jacob was usually the worst during lunch breaks, and survive off of coffee instead.
The slightest thought of Ethan having to spend any time with that nurse could immediately reduce him to tears or cause his chest to constrict. It was getting worse lately.
Ethan had just finished not eating his lunch when Jacob arrived for his shift, which the nurse hadn't actually meant to be working. It was only because one of the agency nurses had a family emergency that Jacob was called in at such an odd time.
Shame. Ethan's day had been going remarkably well and he'd even joined in on some conversation earlier, which was a rarity. The hope of his day staying good had been torn in two.
"I need to talk to you in the locker room," Jacob said roughly. He glared at Ethan and said; "Once you've finished stuffing your face, that is."
"S-sure, whatever you want." Ethan said quickly.
He'd weakened even though he'd said to himself (as always) that he'd stay strong and firm. He had veered off ever having the nerve to talk back to Jacob ever again. It resulted in an undesirable consequence, mainly in the form of more bruises or words that he was sure would never leave him.
Jacob watched Ethan with hawk eyes as they exited the staff room, unnoticed by their laughing colleagues who were by cubicles, and into the locker room.
Jacob turned and shot a glare at Ethan that was as sharp as freshly cut glass.
"Good day?" Jacob questioned. Ethan's voice wouldn't work so he nodded hurriedly instead.
"Talk!" Jacob launched his fist into a locker. Ethan saw Jacob's pain from doing so, but it was nothing compared to the pure relief that the nurse clearly got from funnelling his anger physically. "Speak. Tell me how good it's been. What are you, mute? Speak!"
"Uhm... i-it's been okay, I saved someone after they g-got hit by a bus, nobody thought I could do it but-"
"Let me guess, you had a helping hand from someone?" Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Cal? Dylan? Lily?"
"Dylan." Ethan said in a small voice.
"Ah. I could say, it wouldn't make any sense if you somehow saved a patient." Jacob pushed Ethan into a corner of lockers, making the metal ring. "Oh, sorry, did that hurt? Anyway, I imagine Dylan did all the work. He's a remarkable doctor, isn't he?"
"Yes." Ethan agreed weakly, rubbing his shoulder which had hit the locker. He could practically see the bruises which he'd be hiding from everyone later.
And yes, he needed to conceal the bruises. Everyone would think he was being so weak otherwise, allowing himself to be used as a personal punchbag.
Perhaps he was weak.
Scratch the 'perhaps'. Ethan knew that he was the most spineless doctor to walk the floors of Holby, and that hurt more than Jacob's harsh slap across the face that made Ethan's cheek sting.
"Pay attention!" snapped Jacob as he glared at Ethan and continued on. "Such knowledge, he's amazing at decision making, he can handle when things get tough...Why are you crying?"
Ethan could feel the tears rolling down his face. They had just appeared for no reason and it ashamed him.
"I... I'm not." Ethan wiped them away.
"Good. You'd look even more pathetic- Ah..." Jacob placed a hand on his chest, breathing in such a way that Ethan could notice it was hard for Jacob to do. Ethan immediately switched into doctor mode.
"What's wrong?" Ethan questioned. "This keeps happening, Jacob... the palpitations, chest tightness, it's worth looking into just in case something is-"
"It's nothing!" Jacob hissed, looking straight back at Ethan and aiming a spiteful look at him.
"No, it's clearly something!" Ethan said, worried. His concern was throwing all his usual caution out of the window.
"I said-" Jacob's face twisted in anger. "-it's nothing!"
"I just want to make sure you're okay, Jacob, what if there's something medically..."
Jacob's eyes slanted as he cut Ethan off. "Shut up."
"I'm telling someone. I'm worried about you." Ethan tried to pass Jacob, knowing that he was doing the right thing for Jacob's health, but was stopped.
Jacob rammed Ethan into a locker, making the loud noise of it echo around the room. He wrapped his hands around Ethan's neck tightly, his hands meeting around.
"J...Ja..Jacob-" Ethan choked out, desperately trying to get Jacob off, but he had little to no strength. He felt his eyes fill with terrified tears that begun to run down his pale face."Pl...please..."
"There's nothing wrong with me! I'm fine!" Jacob screamed, his hands shaking with anger as they tightened of their own accord around Ethan's neck. It was like he couldn't control it. "You deserve this for trying to make me-"
The locker room door opened. Jacob instinctively had let go of Ethan's neck with guilt painted all over his once rageful face. Ethan gasped and spluttered, his lungs screaming for the air which he'd been so badly deprived of. It felt like he was going to pass out.
"What's going on in here?" Charlie questioned, looking at both of them. He shot Jacob an untrustful look before arriving immediately at Ethan's side. Whilst rubbing Ethan's back, Charlie turned back to Jacob. "What did you do?!"
Jacob looked stuck for words. He'd cooled down now and the anger had disintegrated into nothing. "I-"
"Save it," Charlie put an arm around Ethan's waist, finding a wad of tissues in his dark scrubs for the doctor to wipe his face with. Ethan was still crying uncontrollably, trying to stop but having no strength to. "It's alright. Come on, son, let's sort you out."
Charlie gave Jacob a look which was a cross between pure anger and almost hate, before rubbing Ethan's shoulder and leaving the locker room. Charlie slammed the door behind him.
They stood, quite close to the reception desk but out of earshot from the others. Duffy was filing paperwork over there when she noticed them.
"What on earth-" Duffy rushed over, her eyes scanning Charlie's face for an explanation. She shielded the crying doctor from the others at the reception desk. "There are red marks round your neck, Ethan..."
"It's f-fine." Ethan said in a strangled voice. His heart was still beating far too fast.
"Come here, it's okay..." Duffy allowed Ethan to step into her embrace, wrapping her arms around him and putting her hand on the back of his head. She shushed him gently, hearing the sound of his breath catching and feeling her heart break.
"I'm okay." Ethan sniffed, eventually having to pull away from her. He'd left tears and snot on her scrub top, which would have probably embarrassed him if she hadn't pretended not to notice. "It's okay."
"No, it's not! Did Jacob do this to you?" Charlie asked, watching empathetically as Ethan's eyes filled again and looking like he was going to cry himself.
Ethan just stared at the floor.
He couldn't possibly tell anyone. What if Jacob lost his job because of it? Then all sorts could happen. Ethan knew Jacob wasn't the sort of person to be prepared for the worst to happen, he wouldn't have savings. Jacob would be short on money, he'd be broke, lose his home, he could even end up on the streets. It'd be all Ethan's fault.
Just because Ethan couldn't stand up for himself.
Maybe it wasn't completely his fault, but despite everything, he still didn't want to drop the blame at Jacob's feet. After all, hadn't he been winding Jacob up? Maybe. Ethan's mind was surrounded by a fog so it was difficult to remember.
But Jacob had strangled Ethan with such malice that it was hard to forgive.
"This is ridiculous, he has no right to do that to you. I'm going to get Connie, this has to be dealt with." Duffy was about to hurry off when Charlie stopped her.
"She's not on shift today, we'll need to see Elle instead unless she's in meetings. Could you check for me, love?" Charlie asked.
"Course." Duffy said, giving Ethan's hand a squeeze before walking off.
"And I'll deal with Jacob." Charlie decided.
"Y-you're going to leave me?"
"No. I'll get your brother, okay?" Charlie rubbed Ethan's back and waited for him to rub away the rest of his tears. "Cal!"
Ethan's brother walked over to Charlie, switching from laid back to the over-protective person that always appeared whenever Ethan got hurt. "What happened?!"
"I'll explain later, I need to talk to Jacob, I can hear him smashing things in there." Charlie looked like he wanted to hug Ethan but was forced to leave when there was a loud noise of glass shattering on the floor from the locker room. A traumatised Ethan shook and tried not to cry again.
"Come on, let's go to the staff room." Cal said calmly, putting his arm around Ethan in a vain attempt to help compose them both. It didn't work. Ethan just trembled as there was yet another smash from the locker room and Cal needed to wrap his arms around him as he burst into tears again.
"What did he do?" Cal questioned desperately whilst ushering his brother past their colleagues. They were starting to hear Ethan's strangled sobs. Cal knew that Ethan would be embarrassed if anyone saw him cry so Cal made sure to keep him hushed.
"Can't t-tell you." Ethan wailed into Cal's scrub top.
"Okay, okay, that's fine."
Apparently, they'd reached the empty staff room by the sounds of Cal's gentle coaxing to sit down, rubbing Ethan's back. It only took a few seconds for Cal to notice the red marks around Ethan's neck, clearly in the shape of hands. The worst part was, Cal knew exactly who those hands belonged to. Someone who he could consider an acquaintance, perhaps even a friend when they saw eye-to-eye. Not anymore.
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Minutes had passed on by. Cal was getting nervous as they grew, watching Ethan as he sniffed and tried to control his tears. Cal didn't know what to do.
"Did he choke you?" Cal asked all of a sudden. His voice was shaky as the true weight of the situation hit him, over and over.
He should've protected Ethan from this. That was what he was here for, right? To take care of his brother like he always promised he would. But no. Now Ethan had gotten hurt and Cal was really feeling the guilt.
"No." Ethan wiped his nose, which was running as if it was a tap. Cal should've known that Ethan would be a stubborn so-and-so, he always had been.
"Don't lie to me, I know he did," Cal said. Despite his response which was worded strongly, it was said as far from firmly as you could get.
Cal's composure was crumbling. But so was Ethan's, and at least that meant that some truth was going to come out.
"I don't want him to get in trouble, Cal..." said Ethan in a broken and sad voice. Looking at his hands for a second, he decided to confide in his brother. "I think... he's ill."
"What sort of ill?" Cal asked. He moved up next to him and put an arm around Ethan so that could rest his head on him.
"So... he gets really angry all of a sudden and then... he has a go at me or hits me. Then he's calm." Ethan sniffed. "And his chest hurts before he does anything to me. I think it gets tight or something, and he was holding a glass once to hit me with once but it fell on the floor because his hand suddenly shook."
"He was going to hit you with a glass?!" Cal said. He let go of his brother and put his hands on his shoulders instead so Ethan was forced to look straight at him. "Ethan. Tell me now. How long has this been going on?"
At first, it seemed like Ethan was going to stay quiet and return back to stubbornness again. But as Cal looked at Ethan with watery eyes, his mind clearly had changed. "Three months."
Cal looked like he'd been smacked across the face. "You... you didn't tell me?"
"I just don't want to get Jacob into trouble." Ethan said sadly.
"Oh, Ethan..." Cal sighed and gave Ethan another big hug. "What are you like, eh?"
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A/N More soon! I hope this hasn't rushed on too quickly, I just didn't want to drag it out and make it boring.
