Author's Notes: Thank you all for the follows! Also, this one was probably one of the more upsetting things I've written, despite its short length. Oops.
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Would I be this cruel? (Maybe.)
4. Grave
"I know that I don't come to visit very often. Truth is, I…I don't really know what to say half the time. It's not like we talked a lot when you were…"
A short sigh, more like a release of frustration.
"The times that we did though meant a lot to me. I'm not sure you knew that or not. I wasn't… I've never… The Colonel says that I'm bad about hiding how I feel from everyone." A bark of a laugh. "There was a time when I wasn't so transparent to him, if you can believe it. Seems like ages ago…"
There's a pause. The wind blows brown leaves around. The sky is darkened with clouds, threatening rain. It never seems to shine during a visit here, as if the sun can't bear to show its face in a place like this.
"I'm looking out for him, of course, but with you gone, I feel like I'm pulling double duty. He's grown reckless. I'd forgotten how he gets when he's truly upset: he's so angry. Like I don't know that he wracked with guilt and devastated by what happened. Like he's not allowed to show grief. But then…maybe we aren't, not after what we did in Ishval."
A sad smile. It seems out of place, especially after bringing up Ishval, but it's there, however small it is.
"I was always so amazed at how…happy you could be after everything that happened. I think we both still feel guilty over having any sort of true happiness – maybe we starve ourselves of it on purpose – but you reveled in it. You accepted it. And if anyone deserved to be happy, it was you. I never knew if I should feel jealous or not that you could have the life that I never could, but I couldn't. That was the life you chose. This was the life I chose. I couldn't fault you for having what I wanted deep down but refused to have."
A drop of rain hits the grass. A few more follow after, but it's a slow start.
"I just wanted you to know that I won't let you down. I will do whatever is in my power to ensure that the Colonel's goals are fulfilled and your work to save the country is completed. Maybe then I can try to have the life you and Gracia always wanted for me – for…for us."
With a salute, Riza turns on her heels and walks away from Maes Hughes' tombstone. The rain picks up a little more, but she ignores it, picking up Black Hayate and snuggling her face against the dog's fur. She doesn't look back at the grave. She made a promise, to Roy, to herself, to Hughes, and she intends to keep it, even if it means that she might follow the man into the grave one day doing so. That's the price she might have to pay and one she is willing to take for her Colonel.
