A Change of Heart

By Misae

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns CCS, never I.

Warning: Language/Blood & Gore

A.N. Thanks to all those who reviewed - tomoyo-amethyst, asga, icyblossom3, floofal, minglejingle, bloodyrose1205 and prilly55. Well, since it's Christmas, i thought i would update. (oh yes, if you don't want your Christmas mood to be spoilt, please read after Christmas!)


Chapter Four: Fearful

I met you

Once upon a dream

You and I

Shared more than we should have

"Eriol, you stinking pervert!"

Sakura raged into the connecting room like a tornado, her shrill shout resounding throughout. A small figure, but the chestnut-haired princess was a total ball of fury. Her bright green eyes flashing, her mouth a grim line.

Eriol was shell-shocked to find his older sister suddenly barging in on him. He was stunned for several seconds and his mouth hung agape as he froze there, motionless.

Tomoyo was bewildered, but she was entirely grateful for the intrusion. Raising a hand to her chest, she tugged the front of her dress together, trying to cover up her indecency.

Eriol had pulled the front of her dress open in one swift move, exposing her undergarment and her breasts to him. She had screamed at the audacity of his actions, and Eriol had silenced her with yet another kiss.

Sakura had barged in on a scene she would never ever tolerate in her life.

Several candlesticks had lain sprawled on the floor; their broken bodies a sad sight. Eriol was kissing the raven-haired girl so roughly he looked like he was trying to eat her. The girl's dress had ridden up, exposing her creamy white thighs. Eriol was pinning the poor defenceless girl down on the table and one hand was busy groping her chest.

Her vein was popping on her forehead and she bellowed once more, "ERIOL!"

She rushed forward and dragged him bodily off the girl, even though he was at least twenty kilograms heavier than her. When Sakura was mad, she could do anything. Anything at all.

"Are you all right?" Sakura asked, dropping her angry look at once and replacing it with concern.

"I… I'm fine, thank you," Tomoyo stuttered, pulling down her dress and pulling it together. Sakura helped her down from the table and sat her in a white-edged chair at the table.

"Nakuru! Bring her to the bathroom to be properly attired. Touya! Get us some tea. We can all use it to calm ourselves down," Sakura ordered.

"Yes, your highness," they both obeyed.

Nakuru led Tomoyo out of the connecting room into Eriol's bathroom outside.

Then Sakura turned on Eriol. She ranted and raved about his indecent behaviour, her reproach ramblingly on in increasing volume. He remained quiet and let her seethe all she wanted. Eriol just stared at her and plopped himself into another white-trimmed chair, observing how many shades of purple his sister could turn with her furious tirade and counted how many times her nostrils flared in anger. It was pretty interesting. He could have sworn he had never seen her turn this delightful shade of maroon out of anger before.

"I can't believe you! You… you… you're so terrible! You've stayed off women like they're some sort of incurable disease! Then when I tried to introduce you to Lady Meilin, you deliberately warded off her advances! You never even try to flirt and people think you're gay. And now you try to force yourself on some poor innocent young lady..! Why are you so complex and unpredictable?! I have no idea why I have such a brother!" Sakura slammed her small fist onto the table, causing the remaining candlesticks to jump with a clang, huffing and puffing as she glared at the calm and faintly bored Eriol sitting in his chair.

"Keh, I'm your only brother. Get used to it," Eriol replied casually, not even bothering to look up, whilst running a hand through his tousled hair.

Sakura's vein popped even more dangerously. She shot him a death glare which he densely did not take the cue to even look the tiniest bit remorseful for what he had done. Eriol had been too distracted by her popping vein. He always felt Sakura was at her most fascinating whenever she lost her temper. That vein there was goading him into a fit of laughter but he controlled himself, grinning slightly. Noticing his absolute nonchalance and even humour at what she was saying, Sakura was even more irate. She went to him and clunked him hard on the head, causing him to wince in pain and glare at her.

"Kisama! Stop hitting me!"

Another loud clunk.

"What the fuck!"

"Language, mister! Before I wash that mouth of yours out with soap!"


Nakuru and Tomoyo watched from the slight gap between the double doors.

"Is it all right to leave those two like that?"

"Oh! That's considered normal! Really, you don't have to worry about it," Nakuru beamed.

The squabble was getting louder and louder. Both siblings were yelling at each other with so much tenacity, complete with several smacks to Eriol's head. A chair had even been knocked over in their little spat, adding to the already messy scene in the room.

Nakuru and Tomoyo then entered, as Touya had returned with tea. Seeing Tomoyo re-enter the connecting room, and the two palace help watching the 'show' most attentively, Sakura pushed Eriol back into his bedroom.

"Oh don't worry, they'll be fine! Let's have some tea. So… Tell me about you!" Nakuru questioned her inquisitively, pouring a cup for Tomoyo. The warming scent of jasmine soothed Tomoyo's nerves and she accepted the tea gratefully, sitting herself at the dining table. Touya pulled the fallen chair upright and sat himself on it, while Nakuru helped herself to some tea at the same time.

"Don't be rude, Nakuru," Touya chided, and helped himself to some tea too.

"Zip it, buddy! I'm not asking you!'

Tomoyo was bemused that a cook and a bodyguard could simply do as they wished. If it was her, she definitely would never have dared to do as such, for example drinking her master's tea. Nakuru rolled her chocolate orbs at the stony Touya's reproving look at her meddlesome ways. Turning towards Tomoyo, she smiled brightly at the girl. "So come on! Tell me how you got to know Prince E.!"

A little apprehensive, Tomoyo relented at that sight of Nakuru's excitement. "Well, okay…"


"You! How dare you! I'm going to get Syaoran here to deal with you! He's gonna turn you into blue coloured mince-meat! Then you'll regret it!" Sakura managed out through clenched teeth.

"Kaijuu! Stop it, you don't understand! Do you know who she is?!"

"No! I don't care and I don't want to know. All I know is that you tried to rape her. Have five years of the absence of a woman in your life turned you into a sexually repressed being?! My god!"

Sakura huffed and sat down on Eriol's peacock-blue bed. The table was overturned by Eriol earlier on and she did not want to sit near the glass powder of the broken gin bottle. Eriol sighed and sat beside her. Sakura gasped as another revelation gripped her. "You snuck out of here, didn't you?! UGHHHH you are so dead! Dead! You hear?!"

"She's Tomoyo."

Sakura's eyes bulged and she let out a gasp of surprise, totally forgetting that he had snuck out without permission and so deserved to be turned in to her mother. In the five years that Eriol returned to the palace after his kidnapping-child-slave nightmare, the only people he trusted with with his story was his sister and his cousin, Syaoran. They knew all the hardships that he endured there and all about Tomoyo, the girl he loved, and the girl who eventually sold him out.

"Did she find you? Just because she knows you're the prince and she wants to extort money or something like that?"

"No. I met her by chance in the village. She didn't know that I was the prince back then. I never told anyone there," Eriol's eyes darkened as an extremely painful memory returned in full force to him.

"Well, the news was everywhere when you returned home back then. She would know. I suppose we'll just send her back then. It would totally bring up unwanted stories of your kidnapping."

Details of his kidnapping and slavery had been hushed up and were not disclosed to the common folk to protect Eriol's reputation and privacy. When he first disappeared, the Royal Court issued a statement that the Crown Prince had contracted a terrible illness and had to be sent away to seek treatment. When he had been found, they simply stated that his illness had been cured and they held celebrations for his healthy return from the depths of Death's well.

Knowing well the complications of keeping a ex-slave in his life, he could not care then. "No! I want her by my side. I want to know the reason of her betrayal five years ago."

"As if she'll tell you! You just tried to rape the girl!"

"Argh, don't mention it. I really don't know what got into me just now. I wanted her so much, all of her."

"Ah stop! You don't have to go into detail – ! Well… What makes you think she'll tell you the reason now? Don't you think she would have told you then?" Sakura rationalized with him, "She probably wouldn't want to be near you, let alone tell you anything."

"I don't care."

Sakura sighed inwardly at Eriol's stubbornness. He rarely refused to change his mind once he made a decision. Hell, the whole royal family were pig-headed, even her.

"I'll think of something to convince her to stay in the palace then," she said, giving in to him.

A smile flickered upon Eriol's face, "Thanks, sis."

The trio outside were laughing. Well, Nakuru was the one laughing her head off, while Touya just smiled in his cool and mysterious manner. The minute Eriol and Sakura returned, the genteel smile upon Tomoyo's face vanished. She resolutely refused to look Eriol in the eye. Sakura noticed this and went forward to Tomoyo.

"Tomoyo, right? Will you accompany me for a walk in the gardens?"

Tomoyo stared at her, but kept her surprise in check.

"Okay, your highness."


The royal gardens were beautiful. It was a large carving of lush greenery with a similarity close to Eden. The fragrance of the flowers permeated the air, whilst the many arrays of colourful flowers resembled a fine piece of artwork. The hedges and bushes of many different varieties wove an intricate pattern comparable to a maze. But it was not as complex nor as trapping as was a maze. The highs and lows of the garden allowed people to look over to another part, yet still keeping the castle in view, allowing one to not get lost.

From where she was standing, she could see an expansive pond in the far distance, a large tree on a tiny mount of a hill, and even a large fountain with a sculpture of a lady, probably a goddess, atop it in the heart of the gardens. There was definitely much more than what she could see now and Tomoyo could not hold in her amazement as she took in the sight, silently wishing she could explore the entire royal gardens.

"It's charming, right? My mother oversaw the creation of it," Sakura smiled at the purple-eyed girl's wonderment.

"It is. It's absolutely lovely. My friend, Chiharu, would definitely love to see this."

Sakura led her up the small bump that was supposedly a hill, to sit on a stone bench under the shade of a cherry blossom tree, hers and Eriol's favourite flower.

"I have a proposition to make to you, Tomoyo," Sakura began, charging straight to her point, "I would like you to work in the castle. Your job will be to educate Eriol on the world outside of the castle walls. He will be King someday and he will have to get to know the people and their livelihoods. He must understand the people's feelings and their hardships before he can do anything to help them in his position as King in the future."

Tomoyo froze, this time showing her shock as clear as the day.

"I know it might be a difficult because of what just happened, but give him a chance! He's not that bad, really. And I promise he wouldn't do anything of that sort to again to you. It was a slip. He rarely loses that much control."

Tomoyo looked down at her feet, her hands wringing each other uneasily. It was a dilemma she did not feel was needed. True, with her help, the people's voices could be brought directly to the top of the hierarchy. Then they could all have better and easier lives in the future. But if she stayed, that could only mean that she would have to stay by Eriol's side twenty-four-seven. Her nerves would be an utter wreck if he decided to rake up their past. Moreover, Eriol was a six foot one angry, cold, strong being, nothing like the slender, innocent, caring boy back then. They were different now.

Making her decision, she turned to Sakura. "I'm sorry but I think I have to – "

"Please, think this over. He is the King-to-be. My mother hasn't let him out of the castle walls since his return five years ago, unlike me. He won't know a thing about how to govern the people, let alone bring our country to greater heights," Sakura interrupted, her shining eyes pleading.

Tomoyo contemplated the situation, weighing the problems. Being selfish wasn't exactly her forte and she felt an obligation to help her fellow men. "Seeing that it's going to help the country in the future… I suppose I can do it…" Tomoyo began carefully, "But only if he respects my personal and private space."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Sakura jumped to her feet and embraced Tomoyo in a warm hug, "So it's settled then. I'll get the servants to see to your accommodations right away! And I'll inform your family, so you don't have any reason to worry."


She did not know what came over her to agree to Princess Sakura's request, but she knew it definitely was not because of those dark, brooding eyes boring into her and seemed to penetrate right to her very soul. No, she was not talking about being Eriol's educator, but the request to eat dinner with Eriol.

"Please, Tomoyo-chan! Just have dinner with him tonight, okay?" Sakura had begged her persistently, "My parents are in the neighbouring country visiting, and I'm having dinner with Syaoran and Aunt Yelan at their house, so Eriol has to eat dinner all by himself. Keep him company please, or else he'll be so lonely!"

"Your Highness, he should go with you then – "

"SAKURA. Call me Sakura, or Sakura-chan if you like. Ah, since you didn't dispense with the formalities like I told you to, you have to do me this favour," she smiled cunningly, "Okay then, he'll see you at dinner!"

She dashed off like a flash of lightning, leaving Tomoyo standing there with no choice but to accede to Sakura's request.

"This is so invading my private and personal space," Tomoyo muttered under her breath as Eriol kept up his intent perusal of her. They were in the connecting room of Eriol's quarters. Seeing that everyone was away, there had not been a need to use the main dining hall.

She squirmed slightly in discomfort and clanged her cutlery noisily to make up for the silence between them. She pretended that Eriol was not sitting directly opposite her. She kept her gaze concentrated on the dinner plate in front of her, forcing herself to chew her food as calmly as she could even when her nerves were straining to the point of fraying.

Eriol glanced at her as he sipped the red wine languidly. He knew he was getting on her nerves, but he was more worried about controlling his emotions. He had turned his love for her into hatred for the past five years. Now she was just simply sitting within an arm's length of him, yet she was breaking down the icy barriers he had built so painstakingly around his heart with every single look he took in of her. He was getting more and more frustrated by the second. He did not know what to do, and did not know how to breach the subject of their past.

"Well, good night then," Tomoyo suddenly said, "We've had a long day, I'm tired and I shall turn in. Good night, your highness."

She hurriedly pushed her chair backwards and rushed out of the room to the adjacent room, where her quarters were. Sakura had felt that if Eriol's educator was closer to him, he would behave much better then. Eriol had been grateful for his sister's ingenious idea at first, so he could always barge in and interrogate Tomoyo as much as he wanted. Oh but the stupid 'no invasion of privacy blah blah blah' got in the way and he rolled his eyes irritably at it.

He did not stop her from leaving so abruptly, but continued to sip his red wine, and stared at the chair she sat in just seconds ago, like he was staring at her still. He made no move to his bedroom until an hour later, after he had meticulously planned on how he was to go about to get the answers he wanted from her. Fatigued by the sudden turn of events, he flopped onto his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

But Eriol did not have the luck of dreamless sleep; her very presence had triggered a myriad of memories he had tried so very hard to forget. Tossing and turning under the covers, he re-entered into the world of his past.

Laughter was echoing all around him. He was twelve, that dark-haired cheeky little boy from his childhood. His uncle, Yoshiyuki, his father's brother, had dressed both of them down, and gathered several nondescript bodyguards. His uncle had promised to bring him to the town square as there was a festival today. He heard from his sister that many children loved to go to that particular festival and he had begged and begged over and over again for his father to let him go.

The King relented, seeing that Eriol had never been outside the castle walls once, whereas Sakura had been to the town many times. Yoshiyuki also offered to personally escort Eriol, so Fujitaka had agreed.

Since it was evening, the town had been shrouded in the soft glow of the rosy setting sun, creating a light-hearted mood all around. The town was decorated lavishly with colourful streamers, banners and a new contraption called balloons. Booths had sprung up all around the town square; some sold food, some sold toys, and some were game spots.

Yoshiyuki brought him to join the other children in the fun and had bought him several festival foods to try. They played a funny catching fish game; a throwing hoops game; a shooting darts game et cetera. The balloons had been an utterly intriguing floating rubber toy to him and he begged his uncle to buy him a blue balloon. Yoshiyuki of course did, and Eriol clutched the blue bobbing balloon in his small fist, the other clutching his uncle's hand, and on his cherubic face a contented grin. He had never been to such a noisy, boisterous, loud place before. But he loved every minute of it.

Then, he remembered, the clip-clop of horses' footsteps had come thundering into the town square, scattering the villagers and elicited screams from several children. The place had suddenly been filled with countless horsemen, all clad in black cloaks. Then they had drawn their weapons, long katanas, and drew devastation with those sharp weapons. Booths had been trampled on by the horses' heavy legs and the decorations torn down relentlessly. The men attacked men and women alike, only leaving the children unharmed.

He knew them later on as the child-slaves ring men. They knew the festival would draw children, so they went in for the kill, to gather their slaves that would bring their free labour and possibly profit. The ringleader was the same as whom he later got to know. That tall, huge, bespectacled man. He looked so refined, yet he was an absolute cruel fiendish demon behind that facade.

His uncle and his bodyguards hurried to usher him away and the bodyguards drew their weapons to deal with the kidnappers, trying to protect him, and trying to protect the villagers.

The crash of clanging metal had filled the air, followed by the sound of cold steel tearing into flesh, and then the terrible dying screams punctuated the evening. The sun had almost fully set, leaving the once warm and happy place in dusk and in the chill. The festival turned out unexpectedly to be a bloodbath.

One by one, his protectors had been outnumbered and slain. With absolutely no respect for the dead, the remorseless attackers had heaved the dead carcasses out of their way, leaving their broken bodies lying in heaps on the street. Blood was everywhere. So much blood.

Thunder clouds gathered in the sunless sky, and a pitter-patter of raindrops had come down in an instant. The blood and the water had combined, making the street glow red against the backdrop of the dark sky.

Yoshiyuki had dragged him along, wounded but was trying to bring him to safety. Then unfortunately, who else but the ringleader had reached them. With a cry of pure desire to shed blood, he brought down his weapon and had attacked Yoshiyuki with a slash to his chest.

"Run, Eriol, run!"

The sound of his uncle's voice did not register. Only what he saw and heard petrified him so that his limbs would not move. His thin fingers wound around the string of the balloon, gripping it tight.

The man's katana had ripped into Yoshiyuki's flesh, tearing it with a harrowing rending sound. Blood had spurted from Yoshiyuki's chest, and he dropped to his knees, gasping in pain. Though his vision had been marred by the persistent rain, the sight and the sounds had been all too clear to him.

Yoshiyuki had seen his nephew remain immobile, shock plastered on his childish face. With a despairing cry, he had plunged forward to fend off the attacker, hoping someone, anyone, could save the heir to the throne, and his beloved nephew. Weaponless, and only armed with his desperation to save his nephew, he had charged forward blindly.

The second strike from the katana had severed his hand cleanly off. He had bitten back a howl of pain, clutching the bleeding stump of his hand, and had fallen heavily onto the cold and wet street with a loud thud. Severely injured, he had no idea how he managed it but he crawled those last few steps towards Eriol. The attacker had simply watched in mild interest, making no move to stop Yoshiyuki, looking on to see what protection Yoshiyuki could be capable of the boy with his fatal injuries.

He had gripped Eriol by an ankle and pulled himself up to his knees. He was a bloody sight. His head was bleeding, his chest bloodied, his hand missing and the rain came down even harder then. The hum of the rain had filled Eriol's ears as he stared unblinkingly at his uncle. Yes, Eriol could only stare, frightened out of his wits. Yoshiyuki's eyes only held desperation, before he had mustered his strength to whisper to Eriol.

"Don't tell anyone who you truly are."

Those were his last words, before the ringleader had reached the, his footsteps making light splashes in the drenched street.

"It's over." The man had grinned maniacally, eyes glinting in the thirst for bloodshed, before he had brought his katana down with a swift stroke, decapitating Yoshiyuki in front of a child of twelve's eyes.

The zinging of the katana and the sound of blood spurting from his uncle's neck immobilised him even more. The warm blood had splattered all over him, over his chilly face, cold from the blowing winds of the rainy night.

His eyes wide and fearful, he had watched his uncle's head roll away on the wet street, watched his uncle's headless body fall towards the ground with a deafening thud.

Blood. There was so much blood.

The rain continued to pour, and he had stood there, frozen to the spot, covered in the blood of his uncle. The ringleader's cackling resounded in the bloodied street, in the bloodshed, savouring the satisfaction of fulfilling his bloodlust.

The water was turning red everywhere. Eriol had just witnessed something so terrible, and he had started to shiver, not because of the cold, but because of the horror. He could only see red. Everywhere was red to him.

Bile had risen up his throat, and his stomach was threatening to hurl. He had not even realised he had relinquished his hold on the blue balloon, letting it float away, the only object that escaped the massacre and kidnapping that fateful night.

He was drenched to the skin, and his tears fell, unbeknown to him, and mingled with the cold, relentless rain, falling into the puddles of swirling red.

Of blood and of rain.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"


To be continued…

Oh, Yoshiyuki is actually Terada-sensei. He didn't really have much of a role in CCS so I thought I'll give him a role of some importance in Eriol's life here.

Kisama: It's actually something rude to call somebody. It's often heard in animes yeah? I found a website that said that the meaning of it is 'lord of the donkeys'. LOL.

Kaijuu: Means monster. Yeah, a little strange for Eriol to be saying it instead of Touya, eh? Oh wells.

Well, Merry Christmas everybody!