(WTF ONLY 1 REVIEW!) Hey people, that's right, no matter how much you hate/love me. I come back for more, As always Flamers, and critique are welcome. I know it's short but come on!!!! Enjoy! This one is longer!


RED Scout sat on a bus thinking about the last 2 days of his life. He looked out the window and saw that as usual they were in the middle of nowhere. As far as the eye could see, there were only roads and dirt, lots and lots of dirt. This bus(unlike the one he road in on) was comfortable there was air-conditioning, and comfy seats, which was nice, but that didn't take away from the fact that he was only going someplace to kill the same people. With Engi's new respawn system it didn't take long for everyone to test it out. Demoman decided it would be quite comical to blow himself up with his own stickies everyone waited, after the explosion with baited breath until Demo came out and exclaimed.

"Aye, this things bloody beautiful, she cured me hangover HA!"

Wow, after two days he had already been killed. The Sniper noticed he was in dreamland, and decided to come wake him up.

"Eh, mate I was wonderin' do you like it here, I mean with all the killin' and what not?"

The Scout thought for a moment and said, "Well ya know, I really don't care ya know since they can't really die."

The Sniper nodded his head and went back to his seat. Scout resumed his thoughtful position, and looked at his team. Engineer was talking with Medic, about some new weapon for the Medic. Something called the Kritzerkrieg, Scout had no idea what they were talking what they were talking about, somethin about manipulating the bullet's atoms to do more damage or some mumbo jumbo like that. Demoman was obviously drunk. The Soldier was educating Spy, Sniper, and Pyro about Sun Tzu.

Heavy was cuddling his gun and eating a sandvich. He always wondered what does Heavy do when him and Sasha are alone.

"ALRIGHT MAGGOTS! In exactly 5 hours our enemies will attack this location we should by this point have set up heavy defenses" the Soldier yelled everyone stared at him for a second and then went back to their business.

"I'M TALKING TO YOU NAZI!!" the Medic turned his head with an evil look on hi face.

"Ah ze dumpkoph, I suggest you keep quiet, because I am ze only thing standing between you and ze quick respawn!"

"Speakin of which," the Scout obviously trying to relieve the tension, "is the Respawn thing gonna work over here to ya know cuz the last thing I need is another Demoman to blow me up?"

"Of course, pardner, all we have to do is set her back up again. And then whoo-whee she's keepin y'all alive again." the Engineer said.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence (with the exception of the Demo yelling something about dragons). When they arrived the bus driver said, "Well once again I appear to be dropping you off to your certain doom enjoy!" Everyone stared at him for a few seconds and disembarked to see. Another base in the middle of nowhere.

"Well I is it just me scrumpy, or have we been here before?"

"Hmmmm, it appears zhere are some train-tracks. Where could they lead?" The Spy looked around after stating this.

"Perhaps we should inside. Ja?" said Medic

They noticed a pair of stairs sticking out of the desert, the rest of the compound was walled off.

The team of 9 moved down the stairs, and a pair of iron doors closed behind them.

"Uh oh, looks like we are stuck here with tiny blue cowards!" the Heavy said laughing.

They walked into a hallway, which had 9 doors each with one of their designations on it as they . The Scout sprinted to his door which when opened was the most perfect room he could imagine. It had a poster of Tom Brewer (Red Sox pitcher 1956), a Bonk Machine, a comfortable bed, it looked so soft. "Ah yeah, now this is somethin I can live with!"

The Medic entered his room which had examination equipment, a small bunk, and a library full of Medical Journals.

"Ooohoohooo! Zis iz something I can for ze spare dead bodies, hehehehehehhe..."

The Engineer's room was something, it had multiple tool boxes scattered about, along with schematics along with, schematics for new weapons for the team. They were then called by, the familiar female voice to report to the conference room.

"Mumphumph Muphmhm hudda hudda cohuhahauh?" the confusion was obvious in Pyro's voice.

"Maybe the bloody conference room, has some extra scrumpy, I think I can see straight again! HA!"

They wondered around fruitlessly for a few minutes before finding a sign pointing the a flight of stairs. (Don't worry I'll describe the rest of their rooms later.) When they entered they were met with another large TV screen. This time it had a shadowy face of a woman on it.

"Good to see you again, gentlemen, your performance at your last encounter was more than adequate. This is why you have received your obvious rewards. I hope you enjoy them. Now moving on your objective today is to prevent the other team from pushing this cart," a diagram appeared on the TV of a cart, "if the bomb reaches this headquarters," an explosion appeared on the screen, "you fail."

"So lady, how exactly are we 'sposed to stop em from movin it." the Engineer said because he was the most practical one on the team.

"You must prevent them from reaching the checkpoints simple, as long as one of you stands next to the cart it will not move. They receive more time for each checkpoint they reach." the cold female voice said.

"So you're saying all we have to do is keep those ladies from reaching these points and we win, HA this is a job for a group of PRIVATE MAGGOTS!!"

"If it's so simple you do it then ON YOUR OWN!" the Scout said.

"ENOUGH dumpkophs we shall defend zis area at all costs. How long do we have to zet up ze defenses?"

"1 hour or so I suppose. DO NOT FAIL!" and suddenly the screen went black.

Everyone immediately sprinted out of the room, they went to their resupply room and ran off to do what they needed to do. Scout decided to follow Engineer. He went off to the cart, which was strangely unguarded.

"Dangnabit, if I could just disarm this damn thing, but I don't have the time could ya do me a favor, and go drop off this teleporter it's self assemblin' so just drop her off and when it assembles just take it to get over here."

"Yeah gotcha!" the Scout said already running back to resupply on his way there, he saw Medic charging his Uber with the help of the Demoman.

"Aye lad hope you're havin fun!" the Demoman said, he then accidently set of his explosives, blowing off his leg. Some of which hit the Medic

"AHH, DUMPKOPH! It will take forever to heal zis! Move along Scout this might be awhile!"

The Demoman in his drunk stupor smiled sheepishly.

When Scout finally reached the resupply he put the toolbox down and sure enough it began to assemble! When it finished a red light appeared above it Scout decided if he died he would just respawn......right? When he stepped in he immediately appeared on the other end. Engi had been busy he already had a level 3 turret thingy.

"Well don't that beat-all she works!" the Engineer said with a look of relief on his face.

"HEY, I ain't you're freakin guinea pig!"

"Heh, no worries," the Engineer noticed that their BLU counterparts were at the respawn gate eying Engi up.

"Dammit, with this position they'll tear me up in seconds. (he's at the spot over looking the spawn surrounded by rocks)"

"Hey maybe I can get Medic and Demo to give you a little bit more time eh." the Scout said.

He already had ran off, he found Medic in the tunnel helping Spy with a fall wound

"Ah idiot can you not keep from breaking your legs," he noticed Scout, "What iz it you need Scout you know I am a very buy man healing ze fraurliens."

"I was wonderin could you cause a quick distraction for Engi, he needs a few more moments?"

"Ja, but remember I can not be doing zis often! Next time you do it!"

"MEDIC!!!" the Heavy called from the cart, "I HAVE HURT FOOT I NEED HELP NOW!"

The Medic ran off grumbling about how mentally incompetent his team was.

"Well my friend I am off to perform ze real work saving our teams asses! HA" the Spy then cloaked and ran off to God knows where.

"Mission begins in 30 seconds!"

Wow that much time had passed already, Scout ran off to get ready for another long day


Engineer: Well, that was a long one

Scout: Yeah that's what she said!

All: (silence)

Scout: Come on don't you guys, ah screw it, as usual reviews are appreciated

Medic: And ze flaming dumpkophs are welcome also! By ze way who took my anatomy book

Heavy: MEDIC!!!! What is this part of body?

Medic: (sigh)