Ch. 4: Fate
Modern Era
"Do you believe in fate?" I asked Rei Hino.
The both of us had been put into sweeping duty by her grandfather. The shrine had more visitors today and Rei had asked for helped. Ami and I volunteered while the others had to decline in order to catch up with their homework. It was now in the late afternoon and Ami had gone home.
Rei raised her eyebrows at my question.
"What?" I asked defensively. "I'm just trying to make some conversation. It's boring enough having to sweep the entire place."
"What about fate?" she asked back.
"Do you think that it exists at all? Like maybe you were fated to be the princess's guard or something. I know that the old Queen Serenity had you reincarnated, but do you think you would've found Usagi without the Queen's help? Or even want to help out Usagi?"
There was nothing but silence as we continued to sweep the floor while I waited for her answer.
After a few minutes, she answered, "I don't know. But does it matter? Everything that I've done and all the decisions that I've made regarding her has been from my own decisions."
I pursed my lips. "Maybe it does." I shrugged. "Maybe our lives are the way they are because it's the easiest way for us to accept our fates. For example, me and the others.
Kunzite was the son of a high ranking general and he was the leader of our group. Nephrite is amazing at close quarters combat. Zoisite is excellent in medical and defensive stuff. And I'm pretty good at archery. We were also able to pass through all the tests our commanders threw at us. If we weren't as skillful, would we have been picked to be the prince's guards?"
"Maybe you developed those skills because you had been picked," she argued. "You said you're good at archery. Would you have become as good as you are if you didn't have to be Mamoru's guard?"
"Probably," I answered. "My father was a miner and I lived near some hunters. I even practiced a bit before." I paused for a bit.
"Maybe I could've been a hunter instead," I mused.
"There's a lot of 'maybes' in this conversation," she stated.
"That's the problem with talking about probabilities, isn't it? Things may or may not happen depending on just a few circumstances."
"So why are you so interested in fate?" she asked me.
"I don't know, I guess… I wanted to… have a reason for my life?" I looked into my thoughts for a concrete answer. "Like… me being Endymion's guard, yeah? There were so many people in the world who can fight better than I can and yet I was chosen."
"But does it matter?"
"What?"
"Does the reason for you being chosen really matter? If you did know why you were chosen, would your actions have been any different?"
"I… I don't know, maybe?"
"Let's say that you were chosen because you were good at archery. They predicted that you would be one of the best archers in the world. What that have changed anything?"
"Yes, actually," I argued. "I would've started to perfect my archery skills sooner, resulting in me being even better at it. I would've also have had pride for my position of being the prince's guard instead of being miserable. And it would've made a lot more sense than just picking a random peasant out of nowhere with no explanation."
"All right, that may happen," she conceded. "But you are looking at the situation from the future and into the past. If you knew the reason when you were a child, would you have really done all that? Maybe you would've become too prideful and arrogant, not working as hard as you did. What if a reason you were a good guard was because you didn't know the reason for being chosen?"
I groaned. "There's way too many 'maybes' here," I muttered.
"Exactly. And we'll never know which one of those 'maybes' is true."
I stopped sweeping the floor to take a small break to stretch.
"Life is depressing to think about," I sighed.
"Life has its ups and downs. People pay too much attention to when they fail and not enough attention to when they succeed."
"But yet if we don't pay enough attention to when we fail, we can't learn how to succeed," I replied.
"True." She nodded her head a bit in agreement.
"So, how'd a grouchy person like you learn to think like that?" I jokingly asked. I already knew it had to be Usagi. I resumed sweeping and she rolled her eyes at me.
"I'm not grouchy, I just don't trust you."
"Well, I don't exactly trust you either, but you don't see me looking at you like you killed my cat or something," I countered. "There's a difference between not trusting someone and looking at someone like they're a serial killer. And besides, what the hell can I do against fire?"
"It's not that," she replied. She looked towards the sky. "Anyways, it's getting late and there aren't any more chores. You can go home now if you want to."
I looked towards the red sky with the setting sun and turned back to face her.
"What, is my company not good enough for you?" I joked.
She just stared at me. "Don't you have homework to do?" she asked in a deadpan manner.
"Nah, Zoisite bugged me until I did all of it early. Does actually help me to have a bunch more free time later on, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of him knowing." I resumed sweeping for a little while and looked back at the sky. The sun was nearly gone and the night sky was taking over.
"Well, I'm gonna go now," I announced.
I put the broom against the wall and took off. "See ya," I waved towards Rei.
"Bye," she waved back.
And so an entire afternoon was spent doing chores and talking about life. And Rei doesn't look like she wants to kill me or any of the guys anymore so that's good. It's always a good idea to have the Sailor Senshi not think murderous thoughts about you, I'd say.
Now if only Haruka would stop as well...
