=/\=
"I'm still sorry I made such a fuss in Engineering, Lieutenant."
"You don't have to keep apologizing, Icheb. In a way, B'Elanna really does have a parasite inside her! But it's a very welcome one! And before we all know it, our daughter will have her own life to live. I can't wait to meet her!"
"Thanks for that, Lieutenant Big Mouth. If I thought I'd be able to keep this a secret from everyone for long, I was obviously mistaken."
"Perhaps you could have, Lieutenant Torres, if I had only told you what my tricorder was telling me instead of announcing it to everyone."
She smiled at the youth. "Tom's right, Icheb. Don't worry about it. It really is good news. Tom and I thought we'd have a really tough time conceiving. Who knew my parents had done that little bit of DNA manipulation to let me be able to have a baby from a human or a Klingon without a lot of 'fuss?' "
Tom shot a look at her. B'Elanna simply smiled up at her husband. She really was surprised her parents had had the forethought to arrange this for her. And she was definitely NOT going to go into detail about her own attempt to get the Doctor to perform that other bit of DNA manipulation, to make her daughter look all human, particularly not here, in the very public lounge area of the mess hall. She looked intently at Icheb. Tom had gone to Icheb in the middle of that fracas for advice about the readings. That's how Tom found out what she was trying to do. Fortunately, Icheb simply smiled back at her with only a little nod to let her know he was keeping his own counsel about the incident. Maybe this new apology was his way of letting her know he wasn't going to tell anyone else know about that other fuss, one which would have been far more damaging to her daughter and to their marriage if Tom hadn't halted it.
It was kind of nice to be sitting here this evening, in the middle of happy baby chatter, instead of talking about the latest crisis with the engines, or speculating about the Borg Queen's next move. Then B'Elanna noticed there might be some sort of difficulty with one Borg. Seven did not look very happy at all. Oh, she had congratulated Tom and B'Elanna most sincerely about their happy news when she arrived for her evening meal. Now she was sitting silently next to Icheb on another couch. She might be physically present, but Seven's mind was obviously a million parsecs from body.
Of course. How could they be so insensitive? Seven hadn't been her same semi-abrasive self ever since that last communication with Mezoti. She wasn't over losing her, even though many weeks had gone by since Voyager had left the Norcadi girl behind. Maybe they'd indulged in enough baby talk for one night.
"Well, this has been fun, but I think I'm going to take the Doctor's advice for once."
Everyone but Seven moaned sarcastically. "Since when, B'Elanna?" Harry snickered.
"Since I really am feeling tired. He warned me that was one of the symptoms of pregnancy. I think it's time I went to bed. Tom?" She smiled sweetly at him, but once she knew he was looking at her, she quickly looked at a still-pensive Seven before making eye contact with him again.
His eyes had followed her gaze, and he winked. "I think I'll join you."
Now the derisive hoots were decidedly more suggestive in nature. "Just to sleep, Paris?" Larsson laughed.
"Are you trying to get me into trouble here, Brian?" As the laughter continued all around them, Tom offered his hand to help B'Elanna get up off the couch. She really didn't need his help right now and almost growled back, but suddenly she realized that all too soon, she probably would need his help. With a sigh, she grabbed his hand. As they said their good-byes to the group, Seven did not appear to hear them.
When he was passing Harry, B'Elanna saw Tom pretend to stumble. Leaning down next to Harry, Tom whispered into his friend's ear, "I think you need to have a talk with Seven. She seems a little down."
Harry didn't stop smiling, but he whispered back, "I know."
Tom clapped him on the shoulder and stood up to leave. Once the couple reached the corridor outside the messhall, he said, "You know what's bothering her, right?"
"I think so. Icheb is good for her, but he's not a little kid. I don't know what anyone can do. There's no way we'll ever get back to Mezoti now."
With that mood-dampening end to their evening, Tom murmured, "Let's go home. We really should learn to 'sleep when the baby sleeps,' like the Doc says."
B'Elanna rolled her eyes in response, but he was right. Their baby might not be 'waking up' for months, but it wasn't a bad habit for either of them to get into.
=/\=
Harry walked Seven to her Cargo Bay that night. He'd wanted to speak with her about what was bothering her, even though he was pretty sure he knew what it was. When Icheb decided to walk with them, however, Harry was reluctant to say very much. Seven replied to several general questions, but he gathered she wasn't really in the mood to get into any serious discussions this evening. Perhaps Icheb had picked up on that, too, and that's why he chose to walk with them back to their "former Borg quarters."
For the next two days, Harry's schedule and Seven's were not in sync. There wasn't any opportunity for them to speak privately about anything. On the third evening, however, just as Harry and Seven came off Alpha shift duty, Icheb left for a Starfleet Academy training session with Tuvok. Harry invited Seven to his quarters for a replicated dinner instead of facing "another Neelix meal." When she accepted, he knew this was the perfect time to discuss her continuing malaise - if she was willing to talk about it, that is. Harry was under no illusions. If she didn't want to talk, there was no point in trying to press her.
During the actual meal, they didn't say very much at all. Ingesting nutritional supplements of the Doctor-devised variety was all she really wanted to do. Harry was not very optimistic things would go much better afterwards, but he was wrong. As soon as the meal was over, Seven pulled off her uniform and grabbed at Harry's to divest him of his. "I need you, Harry." And that was all she said.
Their lovemaking was not their usual fun romp between the sheets. The regeneration unit in Harry's quarters wasn't touched. Seven's need for Harry was so intense, it bordered upon desperation. He wanted to talk with her, but if this was what she wanted and obviously needed, how could he deny her? Their coming together wasn't exactly violent, but the sex was so vigorous, Harry was exhausted by the time they reached climax.
Afterwards, the mellowness they usually shared wasn't really there either, even though Seven laid her head on Harry's shoulder and snuggled close to him the way she usually did. After a few minutes, Harry became aware of another sensation. Gently, he pointed out, "Annika, I think your right eye is leaking on my chest."
After a hesitation of several seconds, she replied, "I believe you are correct."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She sighed as she wiped her cheek. "Not really, but I believe I must." Breathing in deeply, she continued, "Would you father my child?"
There were many things his Annika could have said to him that would have shocked him, but none approached what he felt after she asked that question of him. He would have to be very careful how he replied. "Of course, Annika. I'd love to marry you and have a family with you. We'll have to talk it over with the captain, of course . . . "
"No, I mean, I want you to give me a child now."
That made him go up on his elbow and look into her face. Seven's subtle sense of humor was nowhere in evidence, not surprising, given her melancholy mood of late. She was absolutely serious. "Annika, I know losing Mezoti was traumatic for you, and having our best friends find out they're pregnant may make things even worse, but do you really think we're ready for that yet?"
"We have been lovers for over two years. I believe we are in a committed relationship. Are you of a differing opinion?" The sharpness in this remark was unmistakable.
"If you 're asking if I love you with my whole heart and soul, of course I do! But we're in a really dangerous area of space right now. Starfleet protocol demands we seek permission for our marriage from our commanding officer. I don't think Captain Janeway would agree right now to . . . "
"Captain Janeway has nothing to say about this! She has already interfered in family affairs on this ship far too much. I do not doubt you are correct about the captain not being willing to marry us. She says she wants me to help me 'discover my humanity' but she is unwilling to respect that when it counts."
"You mean the way she finessed Mezoti into leaving Voyager."
Seven had been looking away from him for most of this discussion, but now she stared at him. "You agree with me now?"
"I always have, even if I didn't tell you, Annika. You told me months ago, when Icheb chose to stay on Brunal with his parents, that Mezoti woke you and told you she couldn't regenerate because she missed Icheb - and that she never wanted to leave Voyager. I know some bad things happened after that, but I think the worst for Mezoti happened when we found out what Icheb's parents really wanted him to stay for: to be their sacrificial lamb. The captain wouldn't have gone back for him, either, if she hadn't found out they had lied to us, and then that they were throwing him to the Borg once again. After all that happened, even with the dangers, I find it hard to believe Mezoti decided to leave you and stay with the twins when she was always so much closer to you and Icheb. Not without a lot of prodding. Who else could have done it but Captain Janeway?"
"Harry, I should have convinced Mezoti to stay."
"You respected Mezoti's individuality and allowed her to make her own decision, even if the captain had a hand in it. Painful as it is for those of us here on Voyager who cared for her, Mezoti probably is safer where she is now than she would be here with us. And for us to have a baby now, without the captain's permission . . . I don't know, Annika. Do we really want to risk that?"
"Harry, I find the desire to have a child compelling whenever I see baby Aimee with Marla Gilmore. I love Icheb in a different way than that. Perhaps he is more like my younger brother than my son, but our bond is very strong. I have taken steps to adopt him through Project Pathfinder, the way Marla is adopting Aimee, but I want more. I do want a child of my own. Of ours. Tom and B'Elanna are happy about their baby. That baby will be just as much in harm's way as ours would be."
"Having a baby is a different proposition from caring for Icheb, Mezoti, and the twins. They needed supervision and guidance, not total care. When Aimee was a newborn, you didn't say anything to the captain about caring for her before Marla said she wanted her."
"The captain had already assigned me to take care of the four older children. I knew I couldn't take care of Aimee, too. I'm glad Marla asked for her. It has been good for all of the Equinox crew to have Aimee. In a way, she has a mother and four 'uncles' who love her, just the way Neelix has loved and cared for Naomi as her adopted uncle. I have come a long way since then, Harry. I have experience with children I didn't have before our 'Borglets' came to me. The only child I ever knew before then was Naomi. If you don't count One, that is."
"He was a grown up the day he was born, so you didn't have to care for him as a baby."
"No, but I did have to teach him things, and he taught me, too. He taught me what it is to love a child." Tears began to flow from her biological eye again. "He taught me what it was to lose a child, too, but I didn't have him very long, not as long as I had Mezoti. As bad as I felt losing One - oh, Harry, it has been so much worse with Mezoti."
"Annika, Annika. Let's think about committing to each other by asking the captain to let us marry. Then, if a baby comes, like with Tom and B'Elanna, it would just be a natural part of our life together. Would it be so wrong to wait?"
"Marriage is irrelevant."
"No, Annika, it is not irrelevant when children are involved. Parents with a stable relationship help a child grow up with a great deal of self-esteem."
"There have been many individuals throughout recorded history who have become spectacularly successful, even though they only had one parent, or had parents who were not formally married."
"When parents are married, they're more likely to stay together."
"Many marriages end in divorce. According to the literature, this can be extremely destructive to the children."
"Annika, I grew up in a family where the parents were married and devoted to each other. And to me! They had to wait a very long time before I was born to them because my mom had several miscarriages. They stayed together throughout many disappointments until finally, I came. This is important to me. I want us to commit to each other in that way. You are such a special person. And I love you so very much. Please . . ."
"Your mother longs to be a grandmother."
"Doesn't she, though! Her letters are full of questions about when we'll marry and how many kids we plan to have."
Seven rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She shed no more tears, but the expression on her face left no doubt that she was on the verge. "And that is another reason I wish to 'try' even before we marry. I know how much your parents wish to have grandchildren from their only son. I do not know if my reproductive system has been negatively affected by my assimilation. The Doctor has confirmed my ovaries and uterus are intact, and my eggs appear normal. Still, there is no way to know what will happen until I do become pregnant. If I can become pregnant. It is logical to confirm my ability to provide grandchildren for them, Harry. We can discuss marriage again after I become gravid. My feelings about the 'irrelevancy' of marriage may change. You know I do not use the 'love' word very often, but Harry, I do love you. Sometimes love is not enough."
"I think it is. And luckily enough, I am now well-enough versed in 'Borg Speak' to realize you're saying it by the many ways you show me you do. And I hope you can see it from me, even when I don't say it in so many words. There. That's almost like Tom and B'Elanna. According to Tom, they don't say 'I love you' to each other all that often, but they know they do. And when they do say it, maybe it means even more."
Seven smiled over at Harry. "Perhaps it does. It does not hurt to say it more than I do, though. Harry, I do love you. Please, let's leave the talk of marrying for another night. Make love to me now."
Harry obliged with great enthusiasm.
He might not have been quite so enthused if he had known Seven had removed her birth control implant two days before, without the Doctor's knowledge. He would have been even more perturbed if he realized she had calculated Harry's implant was losing potency, since it was already several days past its expiration date.
=/\=
