A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the unannounced 1 year hiatus. There's only one more chapter left, and I am determined to finish this fanfic! I hope you enjoy the chapter. R&R!
"If you went to your house to find that your entire family had been brutally murdered and that Bolsheviks wanted to kill you too, what would you do?" Scorpius asked Al one night in the room of requirement. Before things became complicated, Al and Scorpius had a seemingly insignificant conversation that would later assist Al in finding Scorpius after he apparated. The two were lounging in the room of requirement after a Quidditch match that the Gryffindor's had lost. Al had been ranting and raving about how James was the worst Gryffindor seeker in history, and Scorpius needed to change the subject somehow.
"What?" Al said, looking at Scorpius as if he was insane.
"I've been reading a bit about 20th century muggle history, and I've just been wondering about what I would do if that ever happened to me," Scorpius responded a little defensively.
"Why?" Al asked blankly.
"Oh I don't know Al," Scorpius snapped, "Don't tell me you've never pondered that, what with your father being the famous Harry Potter."
"My father isn't the Tsar of Russia, Scorp!"
"So you never thought any death eaters would try to kill your family?" Scorpius asked him disbelievingly. Al shrugged.
"They already do try. It's basically my dad's job to make people want to kill him," Al told Scorpius.
"Good point," Scorpius mumbled.
"Do you ever worry about that?" Al asked Scorpius. He didn't really expect Scorpius to give him much of an answer, because he didn't think it was common for most families to have to deal with death eaters anymore. When he saw the embarrassed look on Scorpius' face, however, he knew he was wrong.
"Sometimes, actually," Scorpius admitted. "My – my family did betray Voldemort. I don't know, sometimes I worry that a crazed death eater will escape from Azkeban and try to murder us in our sleep, because god knows we're not Aurors."
"Oh," Albus responded uncomfortably. There was an awkward silence. Neither one of them were sure if the conversation had become too personal or not.
"You can always come to my house, if that ever happens to you," Al told him sincerely. Scorpius glanced at him, a little surprised to hear those words coming out of Al's mouth.
"Really?" He asked. He couldn't help but to admit he was touched by Al's offer.
"Of course!" Al told him reassuringly.
"But what if I want to keep up our rivalry at school? I can't go to your house," Scorpius said quickly, wanting to make sure that the conversation didn't get too heartfelt.
"Well, you could always try the Leaky Cauldron," Al suggested. "When James and Fred ran away, they hid out in the basement and did nothing but play exploding snap and drink butterbeer."
"Doesn't Frank Longbottom work there?" Scorpius sneered.
"I'm not sure," Al told him, even though he was well aware Frank worked at the Leaky Cauldron during the holidays. "What's wrong with Frank Longbottom?" He asked casually. Scorpius shrugged.
"Nothing. If you like arrogant pretty boys," Scorpius muttered with a hint of jealousy. Al raised an eyebrow at his friend.
"I'm not sure you're one to judge, Scorp," He told him with a smile. Scorpius rolled his eyes.
"I'm not saying I'm not an arrogant pretty boy, I just don't like other arrogant pretty boys!" He clarified. "The point is I have too much dignity to hide in the basement of the Leaky Cauldron."
"I need to hide in your basement!!" Scorpius demanded rudely. Frank Longbottom looked at Scorpius and yawned.
"Why?" He asked. Scorpius the took a handful of galleons out of his pocket and dumped them in front of Frank, who suddenly looked wide awake.
"That's why," Scorpius told him cooly. Frank was going to suggest a room instead, but the money Scorpius gave him was much more than the cost of a room.
"Right this way," he said as he led Scorpius to the basement.
As the day slowly ended, the Scorpius Malfoy search party went from diligent to non existent. Naturally, his parents were worried sick about their son, but they knew after that revealing and embarrassing incident at the Potter's, all of them needed some space. Besides, if their son didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. Eventually only Al was left searching for his stubborn friend. His plan was to arrive at the Leaky Cauldron immediately, but the Night Bus had a new "no runaway teens" policy, and Al was forced to use another means of transportation.
While Al was transferring from muggle bus stop to muggle bus stop, Scorpius was sitting at the lonely bar of the Leaky Cauldron, drowning his humiliation in firewhiskey. Only Frank Longbottom was there to accompany him, serving him drink after drink and thanking god for sending him someone who was so loose with their money.
"You know Frank," Scorpius grumbled, his cheeks red and his eyes distant, "I'd probably fuck you."
"Thanks, that's so sweet," Frank replied sarcastically. Frank himself wasn't much of a Scorpius Malfoy fan; there had been some uncomfortable history between him and a friend of Frank's. That, on top of the long hours he was pulling, was enough to bring out a little sarcasm. Scorpius didn't pay much attention to it and continued on.
"Yeah, if you were gay, I'd totally fuck you. Even though, you're not really my type," he added as an after thought, his mind drifting to Al. Scorpius banged his fist on the table in frustration, and yelled "I want another alcoholic beverage!!"
Frank eyed him with a concerned expression. "I dunno mate, don't you think you've had enough?" He asked him.
"Don't start with me, Longbottom! I want more alcohol! I'm business!" He exclaimed, placing more money in front of Frank. Scorpius certainly was convincing. Frank poured him another shot without complaint.
"Thanks, old sport," Scorpius mumbled before choking down more firewhiskey. He held a pained facial expression for about two seconds and let out a gasp of relief.
"But, but really, Frank," he said, "listen, listen to me Longbottom, Frank, can I call you Frank? I'm calling you Frank. Listen, Frank, have you..." Scorpius paused. For a split second, Frank almost though he saw some human emotion in Scorpius's eyes.
"Have you ever felt this, this thing for a bloke where you look at him, and your stomach gets all happy and giddy and you don't want to have sex with him, but you do, but you want to have sex with him in the way you want to be under the stars or in a tree or I don't know what's romantic but its..." Scorpius paused again. He turned his gaze to the window. Frank was positive he recognized a strange mix of human emotions coming from Scorpius. He could tell Scorpius was embarrassed, hurt, and more confused than he ever had been in his entire life.
"It's almost like, like you want to be with him more than you want to have sex with him, and – I don't know, have you ever felt that, mate?" He asked, turning his gaze from the window to Frank. In all honesty, Frank knew exactly what Scorpius was talking about, but he wasn't going to admit it to some drunken Slytherin.
"Can't say I have. At least not for a bloke."
"It's so fuckin' terrifying. Can I tell you something? I'm mildly – I'm what you'd call a man whore, I think. I've gone down on quite a bit of blokes, and I'm not proud of that, but it's very true. But it's just – okay, when I see a bloke, and I think he's attractive, I think about sex, because I'm male, and that's what males do," Scorpius told him, sounding more like a librarian than a drunken teenage boy. "You do that, I bet! You know, only with breasts. You like breast. Breasts. Plural," Scorpius said sloppily, gesturing crudely to a pair of large invisible breasts.
"Er…"
"But then, okay, then I see Al, right? And I feel like I should say that every inch of him is perfect and beautiful and irresistible and he's like a flower in a field of lollipops and chocolate and I don't know what the fuckin' what nots – but he's not. He has these – he has flaws that should make him unattractive! I mean, he's so awkward and he doesn't sit up straight and he bites his nails when he's studying and it's – come on, that's repulsive! Right, am I right?"
"Well -"
"Exactly! He also can't dance. And you know, he's not attractive," Scorpius informed him, acting as if the thought was absurd. His face then softened a little, as if he was considering the possibility of Al's sexual appeal. "I mean, okay, he – no, no he's not! I've never looked at him and thought 'Damn, what an attractive bloke he is, look at the sexy way he bites his fingernails!'" He protested angrily.
And then that look returned. All the pain and confusion and heartbreak Frank noticed before came clearly into view and Frank couldn't help but to feel for the guy. Scorpius continued, "but do you know how many times I've just stopped in my tracks and looked at him - and I mean, really looked at him - and thought 'Oh my god. He's breathtaking,'" he said distantly. Scorpius shook his head. " I wish I could look at him and think 'attractive,' because 'breathtaking' means I'm in love with him."
Watching Scorpius' lonely eyes staring helplessly at his shotglass was like standing in front of a dementor; Frank could feel his confidence and happiness being sucked out of him. He understood completely what Scorpius was talking about, but he was never able to put it into words. Being physically attracted to someone was easy for both of them, but to be in love with someone – to have that risk of rejection and loneliness and heartache – that was terrifying. At that moment, he felt connected to the Slytherin. "You know," he said told him, "that's very sweet."
Scorpius snorted into his shotglass. "Sweet? It's sweet? Oh god, Frank, can you get any gayer?!"
The connection didn't last long.
"No, but really, I don't know how anybody can't look at Al and just, I don't know, just fall in love with him. I don't know how I didn't fall in love with him when I first saw him!!" Scorpius exclaimed. Frank thought about when he first met the two of them.
"Weren't you eleven when you – "
"He's so incredible. I love his beautiful raven hair and, and how thick his eyebrows are. Oh god, and when he has a five o clock shadow, I just can't help myself. I'm a big fan of facial hair, Frank." Frank rubbed his chin, wondering if the facial hair attraction was strictly a gay thing (or strictly a Scorpius thing), or if brainy Gryffindor ladies felt the same way.
"Especially on Al," Scorpius continued. "It's just that perfect combination of ruggedness and shy modesty that drives me insane! And, alright, you really can't tell, but Al is fit. I mean, he is, he's incredibly ripped!" The conversation was getting very uncomfortable very fast.
"But you know what just seals the deal for me? Those eyes. Good god, I nearly die whenever I look into them. He has these breathtaking emerald eyes, and I mean, I mean they are emerald! He – I dunno, Frank! He's so strong, and he's so gentle at the same time. Like, like he could beat me up and then lick my wounds later," Scorpius sighed. "Wow. That brings images. God, I've never wanted to have sex with anyone as bad as I want to have sex with Al."
"Ah," Frank responded uncomfortably. He stared at Scorpius for a while, who suddenly looked like he was about to vomit.
"why am I – I can't believe I'm saying this. I deserve to die, Al's so – god, I'm such a sexually deviant pervert. Al's so much better than that! Just kill me," Scorpius demanded; his shame and self loathing was becoming unbearable.
"What?!"
"Kill me. Quickly now, Al will probably come to rescue me any second. Wouldn't want that," Scorpius told a stunned Frank.
"I – uh… I can't do that, Malfoy."
"Oh grow some balls, Frank. Honestly!" Scorpius told him irritably. Frank was painfully uncomfortable with Scorpius's suicidal demands, and was on the verge of panicking, when the entrance doors of the leaky cauldron flew open dramatically. Albus Potter entered, completely out of breath and looking as if he had seen better days.
"Scorpius!" Al exclaimed as he rushed to his friend.
"Al!" Scorpius stumbled out of his stool and embraced Al.
"What happened?" Al asked him as Scorpius burried his face into Al's shoulder. "Why are you here? Are you crying?"
"Someone kill me. I hate my life!" Scorpius moaned. Frank was getting really nervous now. Scorpius's wand was in his pocket, and he was afraid he was about to do something awful.
"Scorp, quit being such a girl," Al told him.
"Okay," he mumbled. And just like that, Frank's concerns were taken care of. "Hey Al?" Scorpius said, breaking their embrace.
"What?"
"Lets run away, Al," he said, his eyes sparkling. "Let's get a little cottage in the middle of nowhere or, or a beach house and we can have a lot of cats and make love in the ocean with the mermaids –"
"Scorpius, are you drunk?"
"So drunk. You have no idea."
"Well, should you lie down, or –"
"No!" Scorpius told him firmly, staring deeply into his eyes."No, I should make love to you. Right here, in front of everyone. Well, in front of Frank, I guess…"
"Er, Scorp, are you -"
"I love you."
Al stopped breathing.
"What?"
"I love you," Scorpius whispered to him, gently placing his arms around Al's waist. Al was so dangerously close to Scorpius at this point that he had trouble thinking clearly. "I love you so much. Oh my god, Al, every time I see you - my heart melts. and I feel like a little school girl, except, except I start thinking about doing things to you that a little school girl couldn't even imagine." Scorpius' husky voice tickling Al's ear was enough to make Al do a little imagining of his own.
"Should I leave?" Frank asked uncomfortably, bringing Al back to reality. Al glanced over at Frank, who was really not enjoying the show. Al tried to bring a little more space in between him and Scorpius, which proved a little difficult.
"Er, get us a room, I guess?" He told Frank, his cheeks flushed.
"What? Al, don't leave me!" Scorpius begged him, his voice filled with panic.
"I'm not - " Al was cut off by Scorpius pressing his lips firmly against Al's. The first thought that entered his head was 'Oh god, what's going on?' His thoughts were quickly shortened to 'Oh, god!' as Scorpius deepened the kiss and held him tightly.
"So here's your key," Frank said, his cheeks burning.
"Thanks," Al said, an apologetic look in his eye. "Oh, how much is the –"
"Just pay me later."
"Right."
It was 3:00 in the morning, and Al was exhausted. The room was mostly in shadow, but the blue midnight light was streaming through the windows, making the atmosphere much more romantic than Al was comfortable with. Out of nowhere, Al felt someone wrap their arms around him. Only then did he realize that they were alone. He was alone with Scorpius. In a bedroom. Al was terrified.
Al laughed nervously and broke away from Scorpius's embrace. "Scorp, let's call it a night," Al told Scorpius as he leaned in closer to Al. "Let's just..." Al was desperately trying to finish his sentence, but Scorpius began nuzzling his neck affectionately. Just for a second, Al closed his eyes and let Scorpius continue to gently press his soft lips against his neck. Any common sense Al had vanished, and nothing else mattered at that moment. He needed Scorpius. He knew that Scorpius was only doing this because he was drunk, and he knew that tomorrow was going to be awkward and humiliating. But Al was done with thinking about consequences. Scorpius reached underneath Al's shirt and began exploring, forcing a moan out of Al that he never thought he'd make. Any heartbreak in the morning would be worth it.
He could feel his heart pounding as he tangled his fingers in Scorpius's soft white blonde hair and kissed him slowly. Scorpius let out a gentle moan as the kiss became more and more passionate. He wasn't sure when his shirt came off or how he ended up being pressed against a wall, but Al didn't mind. They continued to kiss frantically, and Al's shaky fingers began unbuttoning Scorpius's shirt as heat built up in his groin. The arousal was almost unbearable. Al tried to maneuver himself in an attempt to hide the unmistakable bulge in his pants, but Scorpius's shamelessly slid his hands downward. Al gasped at the contact and threw his head back, allowing Scorpius to begin biting and licking his neck.
"Oh god, Al," Scorpius groaned into his ear as he continued to explore. He could tell that Scorpius wanted this as badly as he did. Al was so lost in their heated passion that he almost didn't hear Scorpius say "Wait."
Scorpius stopped touching Al and stepped away from him, muttering "Wait. Wait, no." Al opened his eyes, and stared hazily at Scorpius.
"Huh?" Was all he could say.
"We can't do this," Scorpius whimpered. He looked panicked, and almost embarrassed. There was an uncomfortable silence that followed.
"Whuh?" Al muttered dumbly, still in shock by the whole situation. Scorpius gave Al an apologetic look.
"This is so wrong," he said. "You – you're so…" Scorpius trailed off.
"Hard?" Al finished for him.
"Beautiful. I – I can't – you're a good person, Al. You're just – you're amazing," Scorpius whispered. An unmistakable look of shame was in Scorpius's eyes, and suddenly Al realized how exposed he was.
"Hey," Al said, "um, why don't you try to get some rest? I'll take the couch, okay?" Scorpius didn't respond. He just stared at Al with adoration, and in that simple moment, Al realized just how in love with Scorpius he really was. Scorpius took a step closer to Al and began stroking his cheek affectionately.
"I just - Oh god, I love you so much," Scorpius whispered. Al was so taken aback by this statement that he just stared at the other boy, his mouth half open. Yes, he heard it the first time, but he just didn't believe it. He wasn't sure what made him believe it now; maybe it was the lighting, or the fact that they were so close he could see specks of blue in the other boy's steel grey eyes. God Al loved those eyes. He loved his pale moonlit skin, the little red scar underneath his right eye, the way he smiled when he was embarrassed; he loved every inch of him. For so long, he had silently worshiped the earth his friend walked on, and it always made him feel so pathetic. He was done with being pathetic, and he was done being silent.
"Fuck Scorpius, I love you too," Al exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly. He grabbed the other boy and kissed him roughly while Scorpius wrapped his arms firmly around his waist. Al moaned into the kiss as Scorpius let his hands roam all over Al's body. Al lowered his own shaky hands to Scorpius's belt buckle, and began fiddling with it nervously. He had never wanted anything so badly in his life. He finally yanked off the belt and began unzipping the other boy's pants. He could feel desire pouring out of every inch of him as he slowly traced the hem of Scorpius's boxers.
Before Al could go any further, Scorpius grabbed Al's hands and pushed them away. "Don't do that," Scorpius scolded him, shaking his head and avoiding eye contact. Al panicked.
"What?" He choked, feeling a sudden wave of embarrassment and shame. A million thoughts filled his head. He'd done something wrong; Scorpius was drunk; he's taking advantage; he shouldn't have let himself get carried away; he shouldn't have even thought of Scorpius like that in the first place.
"Don't start becoming – don't trick me," Scorpius muttered. "This is – you're such an asshole." Now Al had no idea what he was talking about.
"What?" Al's cheeks began to burn. This was all so new to him, and he was terrified. He had no idea what he had done wrong.
"Quit fucking with me," Scorpius demanded. "You don't – that's not – that's so inconsiderate!"
"What are you talking about?" Al was practically begging for an answer.
"I'm talking about – you were there in the library – and I..." Scorpius trailed off, looking absolutely disgusted. That look in Scorpius's eye made Al feel so ashamed of himself that he was on the verge of crying.
"I need to vomit. Oh god," Scorpius mumbled, now staring at the floor. At first Al thought he meant he was going to vomit because of Al's shameful lust, but he then realized that Scorpius's disgusted facial expression was because he was actually about to vomit. It was like watching a deer in headlights about to be run down by an automobile. Al knew it was going to happen, but he was powerless to prevent it.
"Oh bloody hell," Al muttered after the cookies were tossed. Well, he thought to himself, that's one way to kill a boner. Al quickly got out his wand and cleaned up the mess, while Scorpius rushed to the bathroom to continue what he had started. He and Al spent the next fifteen minutes in the bathroom; Scorpius leaning over the toilet and Al holding back his hair.
"Scorp? Take a shower and get some rest. Please," Al told him after he was done. Without waiting for an answer, Al conjured up a blanket and a pillow and made his way to the couch. Scorpius didn't even look at Al. He couldn't. He just sat there on the bathroom floor, feeling miserable and dreading the next morning.
A/N: Don't forget to review! Criticism is welcome, but flames are not.
