A love lost, a friend gained

By RocketFAN

A/N: I am very determined to stick to the books as much as possible. So much so that I spent the last three days reading "Half Blood Prince" and the "Deathly Hallows" chapter entitled "The Prince's Tale" (over and over) so I will be as accurate as possible.

Chapter 4: Tale of a broken heart

"Harry?" Snape repeated a little louder as he turned and sat on the edge of his bed, facing Harry's.

"Yeah?" Harry replied softly while keeping his back to Snape.

"I'm sorry that you feel that I don't like you… because it's not true," it was the first time Harry had ever heard Severus Snape apologize for anything! He was so surprised by it; he figured it had to be the high fever talking.

"It's not?" Harry asked while finally turning to face Snape, who seemed very genuine.

"Harry… there is something that you have to understand. After all, I know you've been talking to Remus lately," Snape said with a small amount of disgust at the name.

"R-Remus?" Harry questioned, not having heard Professor Lupin referred to by his first name yet.

"Professor Lupin," Snape corrected himself as Harry's eyes widened. Harry was unaware that Snape was not only a Potions master, but also a master of the rare power of Occlumency. This allowed Snape to penetrate and read the minds of people who could not easily control their emotions, as Harry was notorious for.

"Oh, so that's what the "R" stands for," Harry said under his breath as he recalled Lupin's suitcase bearing the initials "R.J" on it. "What has that got to do with anything?" He asked Professor Snape cautiously, still looking out for a trick.

"He told you stories about your mother, didn't he?" Snape asked as a sharp and sudden pain shot though his chest at the mere thought of Lily. It was the pain of an old wound being ripped open again… the pain of his forever broken heart. The painful memories caused him to wince as though he had been stabbed in the chest.

"Yeah, he did," Harry replied while thinking back to the conversation he had with Professor Lupin while his friends went to visit the village of Hogsmead while he was left behind due to his Uncle Vernon's refusal to sign his permission form. "But… how do you know that?" He added curiously, knowing that Snape and Lupin did not seem fond of each other and it was unlikely that Lupin had told Snape about his private conversations with Harry.

"That's not what's important," Snape said softly, not daring to tell Harry about his mind reading powers.

"That what is?" Harry asked, now more confused than ever.

"What is important is that my feelings about you have nothing to do with yourself, Harry," Snape's voice was faltering slightly as he fought to keep his own emotions under control. It was bad enough that he had fainted in front of Harry (and his entire 3rd year class!) and was about to pour his heart out to him, but the one thing he refused to do, not only in front of Harry, but anyone else for that matter, was cry.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Harry was getting even more confused by the second.

"What does everyone say about you, Harry?" Snape offered as he noticed the look of sheer confusion on the young man's face.

"Well… I-I do have many people tell me that I have a… "disregard"… for the rules." Harry replied using the word that Professor Dumbledore had used the year before when telling Harry about the traits he shared with Salazar Slytherin, whom himself, prized.

"Other than that," Snape said with something else that Harry had never seen from him… a smile.

"I look like my father?" Harry said after thinking for a few moments.

"Exactly," Snape said softly.

"But what does that have to do with you hating me?" Harry said while starting to grow irritated as he did every time someone said anything against his father.

"I don't hate you, Harry. But I can't say the same about your father," Snape replied with a hint of malice I his voice at the mention of James Potter.

"And what did my father ever do to you?!" Harry yelled angrily at Snape's admittance that he hated his beloved father.

"What didn't he do to me?!" Snape growled while shooting to his feet and pacing in angry circles in front of Harry's bed. He was too angry with the painful memories to realize that he was showing weakness by letting the past get the better of him. "That father of yours made my life a living hell and cost me the one and only person I have ever loved," Snape added as he stopped at the end of Harry's bed and clenched the bars at the foot while giving Harry that familiar scowling look.

"L-loved?" Harry said while looking more surprised than when he had first learned that he was a wizard. Did Snape say "LOVED"? He had actually loved someone? "And… who-who was it… that you loved, Professor?" Harry asked him, never in a million years expecting the answer he was about hear.

"I… I… loved…," Snape could not get the words out. It was as if something was physically preventing him from speaking her name. His heart was pounding so hard that his entire body was trembling with emotion and he regretted ever starting the conversation.

"Sir?" Harry said sympathetically as he watched the only person he knew (other than Lucius Malfoy) who seemed void of all emotions… break down. Severus Snape was actually showing that he had feelings, emotions…and a broken heart.