A/n: Hey! So here's another chapter. Hope you like!


Chapter 3

"Bella, we're going to be late!" Edward's voice called up the stairs.

"Just a minute." I rushed about my room, shoving clothes into my cupboard and throwing things into the open desk draw.

"Bells." Edward called again.

"I'm coming!" I looked around my semi-tidy room. It was now tough luck if Renee though it was messy. I'd tried.

I bounced down the stairs, not quite as graceful as Alice would have, but with the same air of enthusiasm. I was going to see my mom again. It had been so long since I'd last seen her.

Edward held out his hand as I reached the bottom step, a gesture not meant for this decade. A true gentleman.

I took his outstretched hand and still that beautiful face sent a shiver up my spin.

He lead me out to the Volvo that was parked in Charlie's usual place. The weather outside seemed to mimic my good mood. There wasn't sun but the clouds seemed friendlier. There was only a thin layer of cloud across the sky, with the same texture of cotton candy.

I got in when he opened the door for me. I looked at the clock in the dashboard and realized we would be late. My mother's plane landed in an hour in Seattle and it was a three hour drive, by normal standards anyway.

Edward followed my gaze. "Don't worry, we'll make it." He squeezed my hand lightly as he pulled out of the drive. I tried not to watch anything outside the car as it shot by at dizzying speed. We were already on the highway, shooting toward Seattle and swerving between the cars.

I leaned my back against the door and turned in my seat to face Edward.

He smiled at me. "You seem excited."

"I am. I haven't seen my mom in ages. I can't wait to hear the hoards of pointless stories she has to tell me."

"You can't wait to hear pointless stories." Edward mused to himself. "Bella, you really are one of a kind."

"Would you love me if I were different?" I teased.

"Well, there are some qualities of you that I could do without." He tried to keep his face serious but I could see the joke bouncing in his eyes.

I pouted. "There's things about me that you don't like?"

"Your ability to get into trouble." He was pensive for a moment. "Maybe not. If you didn't get into trouble, I wouldn't get to spend so much time with you, making sure you were safe. I suppose then, I do love all of you."

"You make it sound like you have to."

He smiled his crooked smile. "I do."

"Oh, please don't feel obligated." I said, waving a hand and rolling my eyes.

"No, no, you misunderstand. I have to love you, or my life has not purpose."

I smiled. "Well, then I suppose I have to love you too. You saw what happened Hamlet when his love was unrequited. He went mad."

"I thought he pretended to be mad to avenge his father's murder."

"Yes, but everyone thought it was because Ophelia rejected him. It's quite plausible."

"I stand corrected." Edward gave a short laugh and smiled at me.

We were drawing close to the city now and I could see the buildings in the distance. It reminded me of Phoenix. I would miss the being able to go into the sun after I was changed. I'd miss human things like eating choc chip cookies, fresh from the oven. I'd miss hugging a pillow while I cried. I'd miss waking up and having the sun stream through the window. I'd miss dreaming. I was going to miss a lot of things but it was a small sacrifice for an eternity with Edward.

I started thinking about my mom. I thought about Charlie, and Jacob. I thought about all the people I wouldn't be able to be with. I thought about what would happen if, one day, once I have control of the new me, walking back into their lives and I'd missed it. I thought suddenly about the names I'd picked out for my children. (Tate for a boy, Kali for a girl.) I thought about how I'd never have that. I thought about the cute little house with the white fence in front. I thought about the laughter of kids in the front yard, while I brought out lemonade. I thought about the things I'd wanted before I'd met Edward. I thought about buying tutus and soccer togs. I thought about the soccer matches and recitals. I thought about my daughter coming home with her first boyfriend. I thought about my son, practicing in the garage with his band. I thought about my children's weddings. I thought about my grandchildren. I thought about how I would spoil them. I thought about all that I'd miss. I hadn't thought about all these things since I'd met Edward. All I had thought about was being with him. Forever.

I started hyperventilating.

I wrapped my arms around my torso in an effort to prevent myself from doing something rash. I didn't know what that might be but this felt safe.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked urgently. He slowed the car and stopped on the shoulder of the highway. He turned and took my face in his hands. "What's wrong, love. Tell me what's wrong." His voice was worried, burning.

"I can't." I whispered. I wasn't answering his question. I was willing myself to not think anymore.

"Bella, are you alright? Can you hear me?"

"I can't do it, Edward. I think I'm getting cold feet."

His face suddenly changed. It became hard and anxious. "What do you mean? You don't want to marry me?"

"No, no. I want to marry you." I whimpered, my breathing was still shallow. "If I'm changed, I'll miss it all. I'll miss it all. I won't be able to have any of it."

His face relaxed. He realized what I was talking about. "Oh, Bella." He put his arms around me and pulled me closer. "You don't have to be changed." He held me until my breathing returned to normal.

"But I won't be able to be with you. I can't do that either." My voice was muffled, as I spoke into his shoulder. I wasn't being rational and I could see the failure in my own argument.

"I won't leave you, Bella."

His shoulder, for the first time ever, was not comforting. It was hard and cold as always. It wasn't a source of reassurance to me now. I reminded me of what he was. What I would become. It reminded me of what I would lose.

The voice in the back of my head, sounding like a badly tuned radio, spoke in a soothing voice. "But you love him. You knew all this before and still wanted it." I breathed deeply.

"Bella, remember the last time you were without him." The voice cooed again. "You want him more. You want Edward over the human world, over everything." I realized that the thought of not being with Edward was worse the thought of not having a 'normal' life and kids and a white picket fence. Worse that any amount of lose. I closed my eyes and continued to breathe slowly. Edward didn't release his grip on me.

I pressed my cheek against his chest as he stroked my hair. His skin suddenly regained its soothing effect, like ice on a swollen ankle. It was taking away the pain. It was releasing me of the ache that had so abruptly appeared. I wanted him. No, not want, need him. I needed him and him only. I didn't need the rest.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"Oh, Bella, no, no, don't be sorry. It's perfectly natural to feel like that. I'm so glad you finally did feel like this. I'm so glad you've finally changed your mind." He was smiling into my hair.

I pulled back to look at him. "I still want to be changed. I didn't say I didn't want it anymore. I want to be with you forever, for eternity." I could see I was confusing him with my sudden change in thought again. To be honest, I was confusing myself. I hadn't I just moments ago told him I was having cold feet.

The look of smug relief quickly vanished from his face. "But I thought…" he trailed off.

"Edward," I said tenderly, stretching out my hand towards his.

He turned in his seat and started the car again. "We're going to be late." He said stiffly.

"Are you angry at me now?" I inquired.

"No."

"Yes, you are. I can tell."

"I'm not angry at you, Bella. Please just drop it."

"No, tell me what it is."

"I just thought that you had changed your mind. I-" he stopped abruptly as his silver cell phone rang. "Jasper. Excuse me." He flipped open the phone. "Hello."

He was silent for a moment.

"I don't think the ladies would approve."

He was silent again.

"Emmett, give the phone back to Jasper. Jasper, I don't think it's the best idea. Don't give me that, Alice would never have told you to get me a stri-" Edward glanced sidewards at me.

"I don't think Alice would have told you to get a, a stripped cake." He corrected himself quickly. "Okay, yes, I agree she would have told you to throw a party but nothing about a, a stripped cake." There was a longer pause this time.

"Well, if you were going to do it anyway, why did you ask?" Edward sounded like he was fighting both annoyance and amusement. "I'm telling you, I really don't want a stri- stripped cake. Alright, bye."

He closed the phone.

"What was that all about?" I asked innocently, although I thought I knew perfectly well.

Edward pulled at the collar of his shirt. "Nothing, really. Alice told Jasper to arrange me a bachelor party and he wanted to know if I wanted a, a stripped cake."

"A stripped cake. Interesting. What's the significance of it being stripped?"

"Uhm, it would match the theme of the party." Edward blurted out. I'd never seen him so nervous.

"And the theme of the party is…?" I raised an eyebrow in question. I knew I'd have him now.

His eyes went wide in shock. He had nothing.

"Oh, give it up. Jasper wants to get you a stripper, doesn't he?"

"No, no." He tried laughing, but the sound was false and unnatural. "No, he really just wants to get a cake."

I laughed at his nervous expression. "It's okay, Edward. I don't mind. I don't want you to miss any human experiences." I emphasized the last two words.

"Funny." Edward said sarcastically.


A/n: Thank so much to Joanna11, Lovelyshakirababe, Hyper Blood Pixie, and RoryAceHayden147 who reviewed the last chapter. You all get cookies. ;)

This is one of my favorite chapters. It kind of serious and playful and deals with both a serious issue and a 'human' issue. I personally don't think Bella would have been all jealous and agro about Edward having a stripper at his bachelor's party because I think she knew it would make Edward more uncomfortable than it would have been for her. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think. I'm bribing with ice creams this time.

Von