CHAPTER FOUR

"Hey." Addison looks up to find Kevin hovering at the doorway to her office, a sheepish expression on his face and a bouquet of pink roses in his hand. Walking in he holds out the flowers and Addison reaches to take them.

"What are these for?" she asks.

"They're to soften you up so you won't throw me out of the practice before I have a chance to apologize."

Addison shakes her head. "Kevin, you don't have to –"

"Yes," he says firmly. "I do. I treated you horribly last night. I said I didn't want to force you into telling me anything until you were ready, and then when you did I shut down without even giving you a chance to talk. Addison, I… I don't want to be another reason for you not to trust people. And I'm sorry for how I reacted."

"It's fine," she says quietly, "I get why you did, I'm used to it by now."

"You shouldn't be."

"Yes, I should," Addison sets the roses down on her desk and steps closer to him. "What I did was… horrible, and no matter what else was going wrong in my marriage, I can't make excuses for it. And sometimes I… I'm just scared that I'll become the kind of person who could do something like that again." She looks up at him, blinking back the tears that appeared suddenly and annoying in her eyes. "Doesn't that scare you too?"

"No," he says immediately, reaching out to tuck a fallen lock of hair behind her ear. "I trust you. That didn't change, okay? I promise."

"Really?" she says, weakly.

"Really." Kevin brushes his lips lightly against hers before pulling her closer. "And Addison?" he murmurs into the top of her head, "I know you made me take it back but… I do. I really, really do."

"Okay," she whispers, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

Through the glass door, she sees Pete passing by in the hallway. His eyes narrow slightly as they catch hers, and as a pang of guilt and fear shoots through her stomach, Addison tightens her grip on Kevin and looks away.

-o-

Addison steps into the elevator at the end of the day, exhausted and more than ready for a relaxing night of re-solidifying her friendship with Naomi in true med school tradition with a bottle of wine, comfortable clothing, and trashy television. Unfortunately, in true Oceanside Wellness tradition, just as the doors are about the close, a hand sticks through the space, immediately widening them to reveal Pete, who glances at her briefly as he steps inside.

"So," he says, after a nanosecond of silence, "guess you two are back together."

"We never weren't together."

"Didn't seem that way last night."

"Oh my god, are you kidding me?" Addison scoffs. "So much for not being twelve."

Pete turns to glare at her, replying, "A guy makes you that upset and you forgive him in under five minutes because he buys you some overused bouquet of cliché?"

"He apologized."

"And that makes it better?"

"Yes!" Addison yells, exasperated. "He's a good guy, he's sorry, and he means it. Why shouldn't that make it better??

"If he's such a good guy, then why did we almost kiss?"

"Okay, that's it." Addison reaches out and yanks the emergency button so the elevator screeches to a halt.

"I thought these were the non-aphrodisiac elevators," Pete says with a smirk.

"Shut up," Addison snaps. "What do you want, Pete? You're the one who said you were just interested in fun, you're the one who stood me up, and you're the one who told me to go out with Kevin in the first place. Clearly you're not interested in anything remotely resembling an actual relationship, so what makes you think you have any right to barge in and try to sabotage everything now? What do you want?'

"Maybe I don't know!" Pete yells back, and somewhere in the back of her haze of anger Addison couldn't help but take note of the fact that he was the kind of man who didn't walk away from a fight. "Maybe I was trying to figure that out before you up and ran off with some random police officer!"

Addison snorts. "Oh please, you weren't trying to figure anything out. You're just pissed someone else has something that you never did."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means you're not jealous that I'm dating Kevin, you're jealous that I'm sleeping with Kevin. Don't bother to pretend that you've ever wanted anything else from me."

Pete stares at her incredulously. "That's really what you think?"

"That's exactly what I think."

"Addison, if I just wanted to have sex, I'd go out and have sex. This is L.A., it wouldn't be a challenge, but for some reason I haven't even looked at another woman like that since I met you! If that's all I wanted then I wouldn't care that I'm just this stupid, second-rate friend, I wouldn't have driven all the way to your house last night just to make sure you were okay, and I wouldn't have wanted to punch your boyfriend out ever since I found out he was the one making you cry. But, what, all that means nothing?"

"Yes," Addison says, crossing her arms.

"Why?"

"Because it's easy enough to clean up someone else's problem, Pete, but at the end of the day that doesn't change who you are, and who you are isn't the type of guy who's going to be there when it counts."

"You don't know that," Pete says coldly, and maybe she's being too harsh and maybe he isn't that guy completely, but he's close enough to make it not worth the risk. Addison's not sure she's strong enough to bounce back from that kind of mistake a second time.

"Yes I do," she replies sharply, yanking the emergency button so the elevator starts up again. When the doors open, she practically sprints out to her car without ever looking behind her and it's not until she's behind the wheel that Addison starts to breathe again.

-o-

"Are you still mad at me?"

"What?" Addison tears her eyes away from the television and looks at Naomi, curled up in the armchair next to her. "No, why do you ask?"

"You've been quiet all night. Lavern and Shirley re-runs aren't that interesting," Naomi replies, gesturing at the screen. "Come on Addison, we can't stay mad at each other, remember?"

"I know, I'm not, it's just…" Addison shrugs, "Long day. I'm snapping out of it now, promise. Talk to me about something."

Naomi wraps a blanket and thinks for a second. "I think Sam wants to tell Maya about us."

"It was one drunken kiss at a Halloween party Nai, do you really think Maya needs to be scarred with that story?"

"That's not advice," Naomi says with a roll of her eyes. "And as much as I love rehashing embarrassing tales of our past, I actually need advice on this one Addie. Do you think it's a good idea?"

"Well," Addison switches off the television and scoots down the couch, "everyone at the practice already knows. Of course, everyone at the practice isn't your daughter."

"Exactly. If this doesn't work out... it'll be awful at work for a while but everyone will eventually get over it just like before. We already know that Sam and I are masters at faking civility. But if this doesn't work out and Maya has to lose her family again… I don't think I can do that to her Addison."

"Who says it's not going to work out?"

"It didn't last time."

"Are things different now?"

Naomi stares silently into the fire for a few seconds before answering. "A little. Of course, I didn't think there was a problem with us before until there wasn't an us left. So I guess that's a question you'd have to ask Sam."

"Want me to?" Addison grins. "I could call him right now, work the whole double agent angle, find out the dirt, report back."

"I think he might catch on to that, actually."

"Because you told him we were hanging out tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah." Addison hugs a pillow to her chest and smiles at Naomi. "Tough break."

"I think he really wants us to make a go of it this time Addison," Naomi says seriously.

"And… you're holding back because you're scared that you're going to get hurt again?"

"No," Naomi says with a shake of her head, "I'm scared that no matter how real a possibility that is, I'm not even hesitating a little bit. I'm scared that if it wasn't for Maya, I'd be screaming about this thing from the rooftops. I'm scared that that's how much I still love him."

-o-

"Hello?" His voice sleepily drifts through the receiver.

"Hey, it's me," Addison says. "Sorry I'm calling so late."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah I just, I wanted to tell you… I love you too."

TO BE CONTINUED….

Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks to everyone for reading, I really appreciate all the reviews. I just wanted to take a poll to see if it would completely throw everyone off the story if I switched perspectives every couple of sections so it isn't always in Addison's POV. If you could just let me know what you guys think that would be really helpful. Hope you enjoy it!