Author: vulgar shudder

Warnings: yaoi, AU, super-uke/emo Cloud

Rating: M – sexual themes (nothing explicit)

Pairings: ZackxCloud

Disclaimer: Do not own, no profit.

Part 4 – Fantasie Impromptu

Cloud was fidgeting back stage of the concert hall, jostling for space at the lit mirrors to check his bow tie for the billionth time. Everyone else was just as nervous as he was, looking through their score sheets in last minute preparation, the women pinning their gowns, the men adjusting their tuxedos.

The air stunk of hair spray, and the hum of chatter filled the dressing rooms. This was the final round of the competition, the stakes were high and everyone was pushed to breaking point. Some tried to calm themselves in the corner quietly, others tried to distract themselves reading the program.

Cloud went back to his bag, and pulled his score sheet out of it. He felt he had learnt it best he could, but going through it again wouldn't hurt. They had already started calling in entrants, and the sounds of flawless piano playing flittered in dimly from the far away stage. His number was early, it wouldn't be long.

He found an empty chair at a table, and opened it to the first page of his piece. He read through the bar music, his hands hitting the keys in the air as he played it through in his head.

He got to the final page, when a horrified shriek broke him from his trance. Everyone was looking around, someone had spilt a bottle of water on some woman's very expensive dress. It was obviously the last straw and she was throwing a fit, demanding to know which dip shit had left an open bottle on the edge of the table.

Everyone continued to watch the drama queen when a back stage person with an ear piece popped their head into the room.

"Entrant number 5, please get ready for standby." That was him, and he hastily shoved his score back into his bag. He gave himself one last glance in the mirror over people's shoulders, pushing back his hair.

"Number 5 PLEASE stand by!" The stage hand was getting impatient, the current entrance's piece was winding down and Cloud needed to be in the wings ready.

"Sorry…" He apologized brushing past, and made his way through the back stage maze and up the stairs to the stage.

Another back stage hand waved him over listening to his ear piece and checking a clip board list. They waiting behind the curtains, and could see the current person on stage. They were very good, this was a tough competition.

Of course it was, because one of the judges was from a very famous French conservatory, and everyone was hoping to catch his attention. The possibility of studying there would be the opportunity of a life time for any concert pianist.

Clapping signaled the end of the current piece and the contestant took their bow, and walked off stage towards them, a happy smiling face of relief.

Her dress brushed against him, and Cloud heard the loud speakers announcing him name. It was his turn to go on stage, and he bravely stepped out into the hot lights. His dress shoes clicked over the light floors, and he done the worst thing possible, he glanced over the audience. He could see the row of judges, and a few rows behind them he saw unmistakable silver hair, and green eyes fixed right back onto him.

Cloud tore his eyes away to sit at the piano, pulling the stool in to be comfortable. He sat with his hands on his lap for a moment; the hall was so silent you could hear a pin drop. He closed his eyes to focus, and raised his hands to start playing.

His teacher had decided on Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu in C-sharp major, and he'd practiced it to technical perfection. He played it out as he had done a million times, concentrating on hitting every note perfectly. Focus, focus, focus.

Cloud was a few minutes in, all what he had practiced in the dressing room. But he came to the part where he had been interrupted. Instead of the notes in his head, all he heard was her scream, and his hands stopped hovering above the keys. As the seconds ticked on, each one drawn out to a life time it got worse, he couldn't recall anything. No music, the keys just sat silently in front of him. He couldn't even remember the last few bars to end with, there was nothing in his head. This was every pianist's worst nightmare.

Cloud looked up to his side, and saw the judges again, their faces neutral or scribbling something on their notes. Sitting just behind them, he locked with green narrow eyes, which were not pleased.

He looked back at the keys. How long had he been sitting here? It could have been hours. It was too late, there was nothing he could do. So he stood and walked off in stage in silence, no bow, no clapping for him.

The over head speakers had already started announcing the next entrant, whom was waiting already behind the curtains. Cloud caught a look of pity from him and the back stage staff, and his pace quickened to a run down the stairs to the dressing rooms.

Those who had been paying attention to the playing upstairs stared at him, while others were too busy with their make up or clothes to have noticed his fuck up.

He couldn't look at anyone as he grabbed his bag and clothes, and left as he was in his tuxedo. Walking out of the hall in it was nothing compared to the humiliation he'd just suffered.

He came out of the back stage entrance into the early spring air. It was a chilly day, but it done nothing to alleviate his burning face. He crouched down and started to sob, how had this happened, what did he do now.

Again he had no concept of time, when he saw shiny shoes in front of him. He knew who they belong to.

"Get up." A low voice said.

His bag and things left in a pile at his feet, Cloud straightened slowly under the glare of his teacher, the legendary Sepiroth. He daren't meet his eyes, he just kept his eyes down with tears still running down his face.

But Sepiroth was not going to give him that option, and grabbed his chin to force his face up at him. "You have ruined my reputation and wasted 3 years of my time." He said in unrestrained contempt.

Cloud couldn't respond to that, it was true. But hearing his teacher saying that hurt, it hurt much deeper than just professional pride. Sepiroth hissed in disgust letting go of Cloud, turning to leave. The billowing long black coat was the last time he saw him.

He had been dumped, rightly so, by the man he respected and admired the most.

Cloud woke with a start, it was that dream again. He was sweaty, and breathing hard as he always was waking from that reoccurring nightmare. His mind forced him to relive that day regularly, lest he forget why he was a failure.

He wiped his hair off his forehead, no doubt this time it had been triggered by his dealings with Tifa. She hadn't changed teachers after all, instead had said she'd be going on break for some time. It seemed his job was safe in the mean time, but she was obviously planning to come back at some point. When, and anything else she had planned, he didn't know.

Cloud laid back into his empty bed, Fantasie Impromptu running through his mind. He hadn't played Chopin since that competition.

~*~

Zack came around clutching an ivory colored envelope. "Yo Cloud I picked up your mail." He studied the watermark, "It's from the Royal Philharmonic School of Music."

Cloud was sitting on the floor reorganizing his score books, a mindless task to focus on. "Bin it." He called, flicking through a leaf of books.

Zack came up and sat next to him, still holding the envelope. "You sure? It's got a hand written address." He flipped it over. "And a sender name…" He squinted to read the loopy copper plate hand writing. "V. Valentine."

"I know what it says, it's just an old teacher of mine. The guy's such an old fuddy he doesn't know how to use email." Cloud plucked the letter from in between Zack's fingers and chucked the letter into the waste paper bin.

"Wait…you went to the Royal Philharmonic School of Music?" Zack asked in shock. "That's like, the best music school in the country; even I know it…people who go there become concert pianists and stuff."

Cloud snorted, shoving a load of books back into the book shelf to clear space. "Hardly, only the best. And I only got a passing grade." He leaned back surveying his book shelves, decoration all of them. "You got a cigarette?"

"You don't smoke."

"I do now."

Zack sighed and pulled out his cigarette box and lighter to pass to Cloud. He pulled one out of the packet, and lit it taking a deep inhale. The smoke was harsh on his throat and he coughed like a high school kid smoking around the back of the school.

Zack reached for the cigarette and silently plucked it from Cloud's fingers, leaning back on his elbows to finish the cigarette himself.

Well that hadn't worked to distract him, so he crawled over to Zack straddling his waist. He ran his hands over the wrinkled work shirt, feeling the had body underneath there. He leaned down to nuzzle and kiss the other man's neck.

"You're bold today. What's wrong?" Zack asked taking another drag on his cigarette before dropping the end into a make shift ash tray.

Cloud froze in his actions, "What makes you say that?"

"You're usually shy to make the first move, like believe me I'm turned on with you doing this but you're obviously trying to distract yourself."

The blond man shrugged against Zack's body, "I could lose my job..."

Zack pushed him up to look at him, "What? What happened?"

Cloud looked uncertain, not sure he wanted to tell Zack what happened. "I had a…disagreement with a student…things may snow ball from that…" Cloud didn't want to elaborate on the whole ridiculous accusation. The dark haired man looked as if he was about to question more when Cloud beat him to it, "But I don't mind. I don't enjoy it, might just find something else…temping or something."

Zack sighed and pulled the smaller man against his chest. "Don't be so hasty…working in an office is boring, I should know…" He threaded his fingers through Cloud's hair, "Which is it you hate? Piano or teaching?"

"I don't hate either, but…" Cloud struggled for the words, "It's complicated."

"Just think about it won't you."

~*~

When he got back from a tense day at work though, instead of Zack there was someone he hadn't been expecting waiting outside his door. Not in a million years.

He was tall, with long black hair. He belonged in another century.

Cloud approached his door. "Mr. Valentine…" he said, holding onto the bag strap across his chest tight.

Vincent Valentine had had his eyes closed as he leaned against the door, and he opened them when Cloud had announced himself.

"Ah Cloud, since you've been ignoring my letters I thought I needed a more direct approach." He said coolly.

Cloud looked away uneasily, reaching for his keys. "It wouldn't have been a satisfactory reply anyway." He told him unlocking his door and entering his room.

Vincent followed un invited, surveying the apartment and his eyes finally resting on the piano. "So do you still play, or is that just an ornament?" He took a seat on the couch, and motioned his eyes for Cloud to sit opposite me.

Cloud reluctantly sat down, crossing his arms over his chest. "I play sometimes..."

Valentine's lips drew into a hard line in dissatisfaction. "Why didn't you enter the last competition? You said you would."

The blond man shrugged, hiding behind his hair. "I wasn't good enough."

"I very much doubt that." Vincent told him. "But anyway, there's another one coming up, it would be a very good opportunity."

"I'm not entering any more competitions." Cloud told him firmly.

"Because of what happened? Don't let that ruin your career…"

"I don't have a career, not as a pianist anyway…I didn't make the grade." Cloud said.

"That wasn't because of a lack of ability. What are you doing now anyway?" The older man asked.

Cloud had started to pull at his jumper cuff, twisting it nervously. "Piano teacher…at a school."

Vincent raised an eyebrow, "Not even privately? You'd be getting twice as much with your experience."

"I don't care. It's just a job, I clock in and I clock out."

Vincent didn't look like he approved. "Don't waste your talent."

Cloud smiled bitterly. "You aren't known as the teacher of the drop outs for nothing…"

Vincent gave him a cold stare. "Yes and that's why I know promise when I see it. If you were to try this competition…"

Cloud's eyes flicked up from the floor. "You don't get it do you. I am not entering any more competitions." A lot of pent up emotions from years past was building inside him, threatening to over flow at any moment. "You're just like him, only concerned about making a name for yourself through a prodigy."

Vincent's expression remained neutral, "Do not compare me to Sepiroth."

"It's true. You're lumbered with all the dregs, and my completely unfounded earlier reputation has made you think I have any talent. Well I'll tell you, I don't have any, and I've proved it!" Cloud's anger was bubbling away now, "In fact I bet this is just to get back at Sepiroth, turn the student he dumped into success!"

Vincent stood abruptly, "I can see you won't listen." He reached inside his long coat and pulled up a rolled up papers from in there, and threw them down on the coffee table. "Details of the competition."

Cloud ignored them silently, and Vincent let himself out. When he head the door slam, he felt his eye's prick hot with tears. It took all his will power to not let them fall, to not betray his weakness. He needed to get angry, but if he moved he'd only do something drastic, like destroy the piano.

He heard the door open again, and he said tensely. "We don't have anything more to say…"

"We don't?? What I do??" Said a confused voice, not Vincent's deep monotone. Cloud looked around and it was Zack, looking rather confused.

"No, not you, I thought it was someone else." Cloud said turning back around lest Zack see the rather glassy state of his eyes.

"Was it that tall dude I saw coming out of here?" Zack asked his voice a bit closer now.

The blond man daren't raise his eyes off the floor. "It's no-one."

"Huuuh…" Disbelief in Zack's voice. "Who was he? An ex?"

"What? No!" Cloud put his hand onto his forehead to hide behind. "Just an old piano teacher, well one of them…"

Zack had come to sit on the arm of the chair, his arm resting on the back behind Cloud. "The Valentine guy?" It was met with silence, and Zack leaned in a bit closer. "Come on, talk to me....what did he want?" He said reaching across to turn the other man's face up to him.

Cloud looked anywhere but at Zack. "A competition…he's desperate enough to want me to enter."

Mercifully Zack let go of his face, allowing his gaze to fall downward. "I'm no expert on music…but I wish you wouldn't put yourself down like that."

"You don't get it…" Cloud said slowly, burying his head in his hands.

Zack let go of a sigh, moving his head side to side to stretch his neck. "Because you haven't told me…" Zack may be one of the most laid back guys in the world, but it seemed even he had limits.

"Fine, I'll tell you." Cloud ran his fingers through his hair, leaning back a bit. "Yes I went to The Royal Philharmonic School of Music, yeah it was a big deal, I worked hard to get there, I'm from the middle of no-where. First year I'm picked up by this teacher, Sepiroth. This guy is a legend, was a concert pianist, but retired to teach and work on recordings. To be noticed by him is a big deal…" Cloud looked at Zack finally, he was patiently listening. "But his lessons were…demanding. He was militant about technique."

The blond man laughed bitterly, "He'd shout, 'this is easy, why are you screwing up??', 'this is awful', 'Are you really this stupid?'… But Sepiroth was the best, and he demanded the best. I lived and breathed piano for years trying to please him…then 4th year he nominated me for a competition, quite a famous one."

Cloud shook his head, "You can see where this is going right? Day of the completion, I get up there and about two thirds in I choke. I go blank, and I can't finish it. That is the day my career as a pianist ended. Sepiroth was furious, I was dropped by him and the only person who'd take me was Vincent Valentine, because he teaches all the drop outs. I never got back what I was, and just scraped through with a pass. So I think you can see now why I do not like performing."

There, Cloud had finished his confession, and he looked up at Zack sitting on the arm rest still. The other man seemed to be thinking, mulling through the situation. "So...that's why you gave up? One bad competition?"

Oh he knew this would happen, "You don't understand." Cloud said turning away.

"No I don't, but even I can see you really are wasting your talent if it's over that…"

"This is not a matter of giving up. I reached my limit, and I realized I do not have what it takes, hell the whole hall realized."

"Then why keep playing still?" Zack asked.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders, "What else can I do…and it's fun, some times…" When he played for Zack, and could see the enjoyment it brought to him.

Zack nodded, and slid down onto the chair making Cloud squeeze up. His arm came to rest around the smaller man's shoulders. "I'm hardly one to judge you all right, it's up to you what you do." He pushed back some hair from Cloud's face. "Play something for me, it helps cheer you up."

"You won't ever bring this up again will you?"

"Not if you don't want me to." Zack got up and pulled Cloud with him by the hands, practically dragging him backwards towards to piano. "Play. And nothing depressing." He pleaded.

Well…it was impossible to say no to Zack. He sat down at the piano, pushing the lid off. "Nothing depressing?"He asked skeptically.

"That's right. Something happy even." Zack told him, taking his place on the edge of the piano stool.

Cloud thought for a bit then started playing, a steady staccato rhythm, it was certainly up beat. Zack laughed, and the notes went up and down the keys in almost a sliding sound before resuming the rhythm.

He had finished. "Does it make you think of anything?"

Zack shook his head, "You know I know nothing about music…"

"It's called Penguins. You know waddling about and sliding on the ice…"

"Aaaah I see it now." Zack agreed.

"My student is doing it for her grade 2 exam." Cloud told him starting to play it again. It was a fun piece, even Cloud had to admit that.

"You look cute when you play it." Zack told him.

Cloud had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. "You always say I'm cute, like I'm some girl."

"But you are cute." Zack ruffled the blond mess of hair.

"I'm getting the urge to play Beethoven…" Cloud warned.

"No no, keep on with the penguins. Do-di- doo, do-di-do-di-do-di-dooo." Zack tried to sing along, and started conducting his imaginary orchestra with imaginary baton swinging in time to the rhythm.

Cloud finished the short piece again, and just let his head fall onto Zack's shoulder. The other man put his arm around Cloud, holding him tight. His other hand came up to stroke his hair, and Cloud could have sworn he felt lips brush the black of his head. "It's alright Kiddo…" Zack told him.

To Be Continued

Pieces Mentioned:

"Fantasie" Impromptu in C-sharp minor, Op. 66 No. 4 - Chopin

A Zoo for You: Penguins - Linda Niamath

Notes: Omg notes! I don't know do people enjoy author notes or is the aloof mysterious author thing better? *joke*

Anyway, the whole blanking during a performance was influenced by Nodame Cantabille, it's been many years since I've seen the drama but that may have been a Chopin piece too…? Well there you go that's the hommage. But plot wise I intend to go in a completely different direction.

Thanks for reviews, I'm really surprised some people are reading and enjoying! Makes me feel bad about my grammar (and writing, and over angsty plot) :x