Chapter Three – Running into old friends and making new acquaintances.

The sun had begun to warm the earth with it's rays and as he walked along the river to his uncles shop everything felt so familiar. This was the place where he belonged but he had been chased away. Or did he run away? Either way, it felt nice to be home again despite the circumstances. Slowly but surely Dean made his way closer to town.
Walking through town was an experience. Everything had changed but somehow everything was the same. The same woman owned the café but she had made changes in the premises. He payed for his coffee without saying much but the woman still tried to get him to open up about what he had done and where he had been. It was enough to answer all those questions the day before. He answered politely without ever actually ever saying anything and then left.
As he was walking towards the shop he could feel the angst growing inside of him. He was afraid that his car was beyond repair. That car was his home. He felt embarrassed to admit it even to himself but that car was the one place he could call home. Where ever he was, where ever he parked his car he felt at home just as long as he had his car.
And even if he hated to admit it, he loved that car as much as he did because it reminded him of Penny. It was the only thing left where he could really feel her with him. She were somehow such a big part of that car and knowing that he might have to loose that were more than he could handle. No matter how the car looked he was going to get it fixed. He needed that for his own well being. As he walked into his uncles shop he wondered why it was so hard for him to let her go. She had moved on, she was getting married. To his brother no less. Why couldn't he just let her go?

Uncle Carl was ecstatic about seeing Dean again for three years. Dean probably wouldn't have left if it hadn't been for Carl. He wasn't really an uncle but a lifelong friend of his mothers and with that he knew that someone was there to care for his mother even after he left.
After giving Carl the usual smiles and those few words of excuses for not being home he stepped out back to where the car was parked. He didn't mean to be rude, and he probably was but he had to see what his car looked like after the accident. He prepared for the worst and the worst he got. He couldn't understand how he even made it out of the car alive the way it looked. An angel was definitely looking out for him that day.

"So what do you want to do?" He walked another lap around the car and shook his head. It would take him weeks to get it fixed. He wasn't even sure that he could get it fixed. He could fix it as long as the frame and beams hadn't twisted on itself. But he knew that the probability of that weren't that high and if that had happened he could just leave it. The sane thing would be to leave it. He turned his head to face Carl.
"I don't know. The sane thing would be to sell the parts that I can salvage but you know I love this car. It's my baby." He needed to get the car fixed. It held to many memories for him to ever let go of. Even if it was almost to much to fix he needed to fix it. Every little inch reminded him of Penny.

Dean knew that he couldn't do much with the car in that instant even if he just wanted to dive right in and fix it. After he asked Carl to order the parts he needed he walked back into the center of town where he was meeting Sam. It felt nice to be in the presence of a friend again. He had been telling himself that he didn't miss his friends one bit during his three years on the run but he had. Especially Sam. The first time he realized that he missed the area was on his drive back home. Even though it felt horrible to be closing in on Penny's whereabouts he couldn't say as much for his hometown. It almost felt like old times when he walked up to Sam. Like he had never left, like nothing bad ever had happened.

They sat down at a table facing the marina. He took a deep breath to take it in, the salty smell of the ocean made him feel like he was really home. He knew that he wasn't going to stay but he needed to take it all in for one last time. He was going to memorize it all before leaving again. He wanted to remember everything.
"I need to ask you something. I haven't mentioned it before but..." Sam wasn't sure of how his friend would react to topic he had in mind.
"What?" Sam took a deep breath and looked at Dean.
"Did you leave because of her?"
"Yes." True. He had always known that Dean left because of the breakup but he hadn't been there when it happened and he had never been able to ask him anything about this. It hadn't felt right with him being a thousand miles away. Once Dean had dropped by his dorm room, pulling him out for drinks and then when he woke up the next day he was gone. Dean had said that everything was fine but somehow he knew that it wasn't. He had never seen him like that before. Then before he had the chance to talk to him about it he was gone. In retrospect he knew that it was around the same time that she had left him.
"Did you stay away for all these years because of her?"
"No." A lie? Was he lying now? Sam couldn't tell. His eyes seemed sincere but there was something in his posture. His shoulders somehow dropped, almost unnoticeable.

Dean hoped that Sam hadn't noticed his lie just then. Of course he had stayed away for three years because of her but he had to admit that the life on the road spoke to him. Even if his life was always meant to be spent in Tree Hill he had to admit that his life on the road had it's charm.
"How does it feel to be home again?" Sam question woke him from his thoughts.
"It's okay, it was great to see my mom again and grandma." He paused. Maybe he should have mentioned his brothers name there to? He didn't want anyone suspect anything. Sam never seemed to notice.

They sat at the table talking about everything except Penny. Sam wanted to push, he wanted the truth but somehow he knew that when his friend wanted to talk it was him he would turn to. Instead he told Dean about everything that he had missed. He told him bout his life with Jess. He told him about his work and what he wanted out of life.
As he listened to Sam talking about his life he couldn't help but feeling jealous. Sam had everything that he had ever wanted. He had the love of a woman he adored, he had a job that he loved, he had the white picket fence that Dean always imagined for him and Penny.

He had imagined them having this big house with a big backyard where their kids could have played. He had imagined them on Christmas eve as they were wrapping the gifts for their children while she would ramble on and on about the importance of listening to Christmas carols while wrapping gifts and he would refuse and instead play Metallica just out of spite. He had imagined them walking on the beach like they did that first day forever. He had imagined them having love forever.
"Hey man. Do you think we could get going? I promised Jess that I'd pick up this dress she put on hold. You wanna tag along?" He looked at Sam somewhat surprised. He realized he hadn't even heard what Sam had been saying for the past few minutes. His mind had been occupied to say the least.
"Sure, let's go." He threw some money on the table and they started walking towards the center of town. As he walked into the store something felt really familiar to him. There was just something about the space. There was something about the purple walls and the silver mannequins.

"Oh man." He looked at Sam who had a guilty look on his face. "I didn't realize..."
"What?"
"This is her store. Dude I am so sorry. I didn't think, I..."
"Whose store?" Dean asked. Sam never got the chance to respond as Dean heard a woman cry out his name.
"Dean Winchester!" Rachel screamed his name, ignoring the customer she was helping and ran towards him with a big smile on her face. "What the hell are you doing here?" she said laughing while at the same time jumping into his arms. Now he realized what Sam was talking about. Of course this was her store.
"Rachel" he said with a smile as he gave her a hug in respond all the while the pit of angst had made it's way back into his body. As soon as he had seen Rachel he of course knew why the store felt so familiar. This had always been her dream and now she obviously had made it come true.

What was going on out there? She could hear Rachel screaming like a fool and something dropping to the floor. As she walked out from the storage room she could see one of her favorite designs lying on the floor.
"Hey, Rach. This took me about 36 hours to make so would you please not..." Her eyes met Deans and instantly she wondered what he was doing there. "Dean" she stated and felt stupid in the very same moment. She picked up the dress, putting it back on it's hanger and hanging it on it's rack. It gave her a few seconds to collect herself before diving into what she imagined would be another awkward moment like the day before.
"Hey Penny." Sam gave her the chance to escape the awkwardness for a little while longer or maybe he didn't want for Dean to speak with her?
"Picking up the dress for Jessica?" she said as she walked behind the counter.
"Yeah." Sam followed her to the cash register.

He hadn't expected this. If he had known that this was her store he never would have gone in. Or maybe he would have? There was something so wonderfully self tormenting in knowing what her life was like. It had turned out just the way she wanted it to. It seemed like she had everything. She had opened the store just like she always had dreamed of, she had the love of a man that, even if he hated to admit it, she seemed to love. She was happy. He had none of the things he wanted in life. He was miserable.
Rachel stood beside Dean talking about what she had been doing these past three years when they hadn't seen each other. He didn't even listen, he heard something about Los Angeles and then his eyes were fixed on Penny. Her hair was shorter and not as dark anymore. She had changed but even though he could still see the woman he used to know three years ago. Maybe he didn't know her anymore? Maybe he hadn't known her at all? Maybe he had just been kidding himself all of these years?

After Sam had payed for the dress the four of them just stood there. Dean and Penny sharing the same thought. This was embarrassing. Sam was still guilty and even though how much he tried he couldn't think of an excuse for them to leave. Rachel was just standing there smiling at the drama playing out before her. She thought it was really interesting what love does to two people. Then a thought dawned on her.
"I had a customer when you came in," she said rushing away to the somewhat angry woman in the corner of the store. At the same time Sam's phone started ringing in his pocket. He looked at Dean, mouthed "I'm sorry" and answered his phone while taking a few steps away from them.

He couldn't stand the silence that somehow filled the room, even with Rachel trying to apologize to Mrs. Lewis and Sam from talking on his phone. This time he knew that he had to say something to her.
"You got your store," he stated and started to look around just so he could have something to fix his eyes on.
"Yeah. Got it up and running for about a year now. It's been great. Really hard work but great." He could see that she was really proud of what she had done. He was proud of her to. He knew how long she had worked for this, even back when they were dating. She had been planning for this for as long as he had known her.
"You did good." He needed to leave. Right now before his heart broke all over her perfectly polished floors.

He basically ran out of Penny's store as fast as he possibly could. He hadn't had any time to prepare for their encounter and he needed to get out of there. He pulled the door open and just as he ran through it he could see a head of blond hair. He never had the time to react and stop, little less get out of the way. He crashed into the woman causing her to drop her purse which made it's contents spill all over the sidewalk.
"I'm sorry," he said and dropped to the ground starting to help the woman pick up her belongings. It wasn't until they both reached for the same lipstick that their eyes met.
"Dean!" Once again he was looking into those bright blue eyes that made him feel so comfortable in the hospital.
"Carrie, right?" She smiled and nodded. Then she started laughing. Dean had never heard a laugh like that in his entire life. It was bubbly and filled with joy. He couldn't help but join her. Once again she helped him forget.

"Naww, how meet-cute is that?" Rachel said to her customer as she watched Dean laughing alongside with the woman he had almost knocked over. Penny who hadn't been able to take her eyes off of Dean tried to sound like she didn't care.
"Mmhm." The moment the sound came out of her mouth she knew that Rachel would rip the comment apart. Without even having to look at Rachel she knew exactly the look on her face right now.
"Oh come on! Are you jealous?" Was she? No. She wasn't jealous. She was just a little chocked about him walking right into her store like that.
"No."
"You are! Oh my god! Why are you jealous?" Penny looked at Rachel giving her the evil eye.
"I'm not jealous. I just didn't expect to see him here, threw me of my game a little that's all." She started to walk back to her office to get away from Rachel's inquisition.
"Right..." Rachel said, not believing a word Penny had just said to her.

She slowly walked after Penny as she ran away from her. When she got to Penny's office she was sitting huddled over her desk, as always designing some new fabulous piece of clothing.
"Pen." She didn't get a reaction. "Penelope."
"Leave me alone Rach. I'm working." Penny didn't even lift her head to look at her.
"So you aren't jealous," she stated.
"Nope." Still not looking at her. Maybe she wasn't but she felt like Penny was hiding something.
"Then what is it?"
"I told you. I didn't expect him here. It just threw me a little." Rachel didn't know what to think. "Stop looking at me like that." Penny hadn't even lifted her head but somehow she knew exactly the confused look that she gave Penny. She stood there watching her for a few seconds when she heard someone calling out "hello" from inside the store.
"Customer," Penny said, once again without lifting up her head.
"I know... but come on tell me. You never told me. Why did you break up with him?"
"Rachel." This time she looked at her. "I hired you so that you could sell the clothes while I design them and handle that manufacturing. I don't have time for this."
"Fine." She walked away, frustrated over the fact of still being out of the loop. She was her best friend and still had, three years later, no idea why they broke up.
"You we're crazy for leaving him you know! He is hot!" She screamed as she was walking out towards the store to help the customer that she had left hanging twice now.
"That he is," she mumbled to herself. "But crazy for leaving him? Dear Rachel you do not know what you are talking about." Penny put the pencil down, sighed and hid her face in her hands. "Great, now I am talking to somebody that isn't even here. Great Pen, great."

"You didn't have to do this you know."
"Hey, it was the least I could do." Dean sat face to face with Carrie at the coffee shop. He had offered to buy her a coffee after he had almost knocked her over, it was his way to say "I'm sorry". But he had to admit that it wasn't the only reason for him taking her out. She was the only woman that he had met that could get his mind of Penny and after the encounter he just had he needed a distraction. He watched her as she took a sip of her latte. She smiled at him. She wasn't like the other ones. He had never asked any of the others to coffee. It was a nice distraction to sit here face to face with a beautiful woman. But that was all it was. A distraction.
She couldn't help it. She had promised herself to not go down this road but when she met him outside the store she couldn't help herself. Even if she had been hurt before she said to herself that it was just coffee. But for every minute they sat there talking she could feel the old familiar feeling of that first date. Even if she realized that this wasn't a date she could still feel those butterflies. She had even felt them in the hospital when they talked. There was something about him, something in his eyes, something about his life that she found irresistible.

He picked up the phone, feeling so guilty, he needed to let him know how sorry he was for dragging him into that place. Even though he said that he didn't stay away because of her and therefor that he didn't love her anymore he knew him. He knew what kind of a man he was. He had seen Deans expression when he had met Penny at the party the day before and what he could see in his face was nothing other than love. He had realized the truth. He flipped the phone open and dialed Deans number. He knew his friend and when he looked at him he could see a man in love. He just didn't know what to do about the fact that he knew. He could only imagine what Dean was going through. Loosing the love of his life, loosing his brother. Of course he knew why he had stayed away for the past three years. An answer on the other end.
"Hey it's me. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for not thinking about where we were going earlier today. I'm really sorry."
"It's fine. Dude, I'm fine. Stop worrying about it. Gotta go." He could hear the click as his friend hung up on his end. Was he fine? Sam didn't think he was but what was he going to do?
"You're worried about him aren't you?" Jessica looked at her fiancée from the bathroom where she was getting ready for bed. Sam nodded, not knowing what to say. He was worried. He was worried that this wedding was going to drive him of the edge.
"He'll be fine." She tried to make him feel better but he didn't know if he could believe her right now even though, somewhere deep down, he knew that she was right.

He felt bad for cutting him of like that on the phone just now. He just didn't feel like talking about what had happened today. He still felt weak after his accident and meeting her in the store only made him weaker. He didn't feel like talking about it because if he did then he would probably let something slip that he did not intend to. Even if Sam was the best friend he ever had, and would without a doubt understand what he was going through, he didn't want anyone to know.
He couldn't stand the fact that people knew that he was this weak. He didn't want people to know that he had been pining over the girl that blew him off three years ago. It was embarrassing, that's what it was. He was a man. He wasn't supposed to be acting this way. Keeping up appearances was really important.

"I love you, you know" she stated casually.
"I know. I guess I'm gonna have to live with that." He laughed and she hit him playfully over his shoulder.
"Yeah, you better." She pulled him down on the bed where she was sitting and started to kiss him. This wasn't all that bad, he thought as he rolled over her and started tracing his fingers down her cheek and neck. He leaned down on her and as he placed his lips on hers he could feel his whole life map out just the way he wanted.
He woke up, once again, from the dream that always in the end became a nightmare. Would this be his whole life? Would he always spend every night dreaming of what had been? Would he ever be able to look forward and stop this downward spiral he was trapped in? He knew that if he didn't do something to pull himself out of his misery it would in the end kill him. He glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand and then picked up the phone. Five times the phone rang before someone picked up on the other end.
"Hello?"
"Did I wake you?"
"Dean? No you didn't wake me."

Author's note;
Okay so I know that the car would probably not be able to be fixed but let's face it, it's not Dean without the car right?
I have also updated the other chapters since I read them through and found some spelling errors which I corrected.

Please, tell me what you think!