Chapter Three
Rose
"Rose," Liss snapped her fingers in front of my face, "Are you listening? What do you want to do for your birthday, it's less than a week away."
"I don't know, Liss," I stabbed at my eggs, "I don't really want to do anything."
That was the truth. I didn't want to even think about my birthday right now, not when so many other things -people- took precedence in my mind. Eddie. Mason. Dimitri.
Eddie who is god knows where doing god knows what. Correction, I know exactly what he is doing and the thought of it causes bile to rise in my throat. I have been battling with myself for the last week, unable to decided where to go from here.
Part of me says, 'you need to find him, do it for Eddie, for Mason, for you', then the other part says, 'Dimitri is right, you can't chase after him. You have a duty to Lissa, to the Moroi'. I want to tell that second part to go to hell and let me do what I need to in order to avenge my friend.
Then there is Dimitri- who bolted from my room this morning after sunrise and has yet to text or call to let me know he made it back to his room undetected. It's been two hours since he left, surely he would have let me know, or someone would have called me to Alberta's office by now had something happened.
Right?
"Rose," she scoffed, "It's your eighteenth, the big one eight, you have to do something!"
"Liss, if she doesn't," Christian started but halted his statement when she shot him a death glare.
I gave Chris an appreciative smile before speaking, "Liss, really, can you chill it with the italics? I don't want anything. Please just let it go."
"But, Rose…"
"Liss, stop it. Okay," I snapped, "I don't want to celebrate, there is nothing to fucking celebrate. My best friend is dead, and Eddie is.." I drew up short, stopping myself before spilling one of the hundreds of secrets leading to my not wanting a birthday party.
"Eddie is what?" Christian perked up. He, like Mia and I, had formed a bond with Eddie after Spokane, I knew his knowing the truth would hit far too close to home for him.
"He is gone too," I sighed, "Look, Liss, I appreciate it, but really, I don't want anything."
She nodded softly, and I mentally kicked myself for snapping at her. I know how she is, she gets overly excited when it comes to parties, yet another reason I didn't want her to throw one. No doubt it would be extremely huge and a waste of money.
Returning to my breakfast, I pushed my eggs around no longer feeling like I could stomach the simple food. My emotions were all over the place, and the last thing I wanted to was to pretend everything is okay.
For once, just once, I wanted to be able to show how hurt I am. Be able to let my guard down just a little and show my pain, fear, and every other damning emotion taking over my heart. But I have to be the strong one. I am training to kill vampires, there is no time for crying in my career.
Giving up on eating, I check my phone just as a message pinged through.
Comrade: Meet me in the gym when you're done with breakfast.
Rose: Are we training?
Comrade: No
Comrade: We need to talk.
My fingers hovered over the keys, incapable of forming a response just yet. Whenever those four words are spoken, 'we need to talk', it usually ends badly, so needless to say, I am panicking inside.
Rose: Is everything okay?
Rose: Dimitri?
Rose: What's going on?
Rose: Comrade!
Shoving my phone into my pocket, I left the table, not bothering to clear my tray. Lissa called after me, both mentally and verbally, but I paid her no mind, my own thoughts were spinning like a tilt-a-whirl.
He is still here, so that is a good sign. Maybe he hadn't been caught, but waking up late and fearing the worst scared him. Maybe he just wants us to take a step back, play it safe for the time being. That would be the smart thing to do, no matter how much I want to spend every night with him, wake up every morning wrapped tightly to his chest. I would give it up if it meant keeping our secret, keeping him safe.
But what if he had been caught? What if he is telling me that he is leaving? Or worse.
Be positive, Rose, the glass is half full not half empty. Everything is going to be okay. I attempted to coach myself up, holding onto my prior hopes, not the what if's. However, when I opened the door to the gym, already breathing heavy from the dead sprint here, I knew we were closer to the latter than I hoped for.
Dimitri stood in the middle of the sparring ring, flanked by two women.
Alberta.
And Mom.
Fuck me.
Now, this can go one of several ways. The first, everyone is happy, go lucky with our situation- because what other reason would they both be here if they didn't know about Dimitri and me. Second, they could be showing mercy, allowing me to say goodbye before feeding him to a pack of Strigoi. Or- and this one I found most likely- they are about to unleash the biggest ass chewing of my life, accompanied by hauling him off to jail in the end. The fact that he is still standing here amazes me to be honest.
Deciding to throw the ball in their court, I addressed my mother, "Aren't you supposed to be in Nepal?"
"Lord Szelsky decided to stop and visit some family at Court, so I came back for a few days. Is that a crime?" her tone was playful, interesting.
"No, just a surprise," a really fucking big one.
Moving closer, I drew her into an awkward hug. We were still working on our relationship, having moved mountains after the Spokane incident, but we weren't quite at a comfortable level with each other yet.
"So," I drug out the word, not sure where to go from here, "What's going on?"
"I was just looking for you and ran into Guardian Belikov. He said he was waiting for you for training," she sent a kind smile in his direction, leaving me even more confused, "I needed to talk to you, but it's nothing dire, so whenever you have free time I would like to sit down with you."
"Okay," I smiled, grateful that she obviously didn't know about Dimitri and me, at least not yet.
"Well, we shall leave you to it," Mom smiled, linking her arm through Alberta's the two exited the gym.
"Fuck," I muttered, the breath I didn't know I was holding leaving my lungs in one foul swoosh.
"Roza," Dimitri chastised.
"What?" I smirked, "I was ready to have my ass chewed out, you could have warned me that they were here."
"I didn't have time, they showed up right after I texted you."
"Anyways, what did you want to talk about?"
After fearing the worst with Mom and nothing coming of it, I was optimistic about the conversation he wanted to have. Maybe today the heavens will have mercy on me and he just wants to talk about my birthday, or something equally casual.
"We can't see each other anymore."
Or maybe not.
Sticking my finger in my ear, I shook it roughly, "Sorry, say that again, I don't think I heard you right."
"We can't see each other anymore, not while you're still a student," he paused, raking his hand through his hair, "It's too great of a risk, Rose, and neither one of us can afford to get caught."
Rose. Not Roza. Did you catch that?
"What changed?"
For the last five days, we spent every night together. We would lay in bed discussing our days before slipping into the abyss wrapped in nothing but the sheets.
"Emil caught me this morning."
"What?!"
"Yeah," he moved to sit on the bench, elbows resting on his spread knees, and scratched at the scruff on his jaw, "He was making his rounds when I left from the back door. My boots weren't tied, my shirt was wrinkled because I threw it on the floor last night," he was really tired yesterday, Alberta had him work another double, and then gave him today off. "And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together to know whose room I was leaving."
"So.. is this just until graduation, or…"
"I don't know," his shoulders shrugged, "I don't want it to be forever, but for now this is how it has to be. Hopefully, once we are at Court we can figure something out."
"Is he going to say anything, to Alberta?" Emil is a quiet person, honestly, I can't believe he even said anything to Dimitri in the first place.
"No, he said it's not his place, but if he were me, he would put a pause on everything until you were out of school, or at the bare minimum, of age."
"Age of consent in Missouri is sixteen, Comrade."
"You're still a child, Rose, eighteen is the legal age of adulthood, that is what matters to them."
"Funny how I am only a child when it hinders you, and not when you are ball…" I paused, drawing a deep breath, "You know what, nevermind, I get it." I crossed my arms over my chest, protecting my heart, "I'll see you around, Guardian Belikov."
I wasn't mad that he wanted to take a step back, as I said before, I would do whatever I had to in order to keep him in the clear. I didn't want our relationship to disrupt his, or my career. I could, however, deal without the age comments. No matter the argument it always comes down to age for him.
Granted, I understand I am technically not an 'adult' to the world, but what really constitutes adulthood nowadays?
I have lived out in the human world with only my best friend -at the age of 15 mind you-, watched Mason die right in front of me, and participated in the largest attack our school has ever seen. Yet, I am still a 'kid', how does that make any sense?
"Rose, come on," Dimitri stood, reaching toward me.
I backed away, putting both hands up to stop him, "No, I am tired of you using my age against me, it's not like I can help it." I turned on my heel and headed toward the door.
"Rose, wait."
I didn't turn around, there was no hesitation in my stride as I continued out of the gym. I realize walking away from him will most likely seem like a childish thing to do- no doubt that is how he will see it- however, in my mind, I am leaving before I say something I will later regret.
Keeping my head down, in a pitiful attempt to conceal my emotions, I made my way toward the Admin building. Moms sudden reappearance left me on edge, the unknown far to great when it comes to her, so I prefer to get this out of the way sooner rather than later.
Raising my hand to knock, I blinked back the tears and waited to be called. Dimitri and I rarely fight, other than in the gym, and I absolutely hate it when it happens. I know he loves me, and once we are free from here things will get easier, but I am left wondering, will it? Will being outside of the Academy really make a difference? No matter when or where we come out, it will be frowned upon by our people. At that point, age will be the least of our worries.
"Rose," Mom stood in the opening of Alberta's office, her expression concerned, "Are you okay, we called for you to come in three times?"
"Yeah, fine, just thinking and must not have heard you," giving her a weak smile I scooted in through the gap, "So, what was it you needed to talk to me about?"
Bouncing toward Alberta's desk- yes, she actually bounced- Alberta handed her a box with a bow and a large manila folder.
"Since I have to head back the day after tomorrow, I wanted to give you this now," I took the box from her first, "that is from me."
Lifting the lid I almost dropped the box, "Mom," I looked up to her with wide eyes.
Her lips turned upward causing wrinkles to form in the corner of her eyes, "They belonged to my mother, I've held on to them for her to give to you, she would have been proud of the woman you grew up to be."
Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, my Grandmother left her stakes for me. I don't remember ever meeting her, but the small tattered photo on the lid of the box says she was apart of my infant years. Running my fingers over the tiny baby in the middle-aged woman's arms I felt an overwhelming sense of love. It was as if my heart swelled in my chest knowing that even if I can't remember her, she cared for me, loved me enough to pass down a Guardians most prized possession.
"I had them re-charmed while I was at Court, but you are not to wear or use them until you graduate," her tone switched to serious, causing me to chuckle.
"Yes Ma'am," I laughed, giving her a two finger salute, "Thank you, Mom."
"You are most welcome, Rosemarie," drawing me into a tight hug, she whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too, Mom."
When we pulled apart after over a minute, we were both crying, "Do you think, maybe someday, you could tell me more about Grandma?"
"I would love too," she wiped her eyes, "Now, onto the next," picking up the envelope she held it to her chest, "This isn't from me, and I won't tell you who it is from, but you can not open this until your Birthday, understood?"
Not likely, not telling me who it is from just makes me want to open it now, not in four days, "Of course."
"I am serious, Rosemarie, there are many reasons why, but I need you to trust me, or I can leave it with Alberta to give to you on Friday."
"I promise, scouts honor," I held up my right hand, signaling my promise, "Can you tell me anything about it?"
"Not really, only know that you should be alone while looking through it, the information inside is only meant for you."
I ran my fingers across the seal, curiosity already swimming through my mind. The packet is thick, but there was no outline or pattern I could feel below the cover. It's obviously documents of some sort, but what? And who could it be from?
"Well, alright then."
Author's Note:
Next update will be Sunday!
I hope you are all falling back in love with this story, I have been working really hard to make it perfect this time around.
As always, leave your thoughts, and thank you to those who have faved/followed/reviewed so far.
All My Love,
Dream
