In this chapter we get another glimpse into the past of the Inquisitor. Trigger warning as it deals with child sexual abuse. Like I said this story will have many dark themes. Wanted to put that warning out there! enjoy!


The morning after they set sail to Orlais, Cassandra was drawn from below deck the thumping on the decks above. The sailors were circled around near the stern of the ship all cheering at the top of their lungs, encouraging the two dueling men on. One of those being the Herald of Andraste. Cassandra growled and marched her way across the boat. The rogue was a bleeding mess, blood dripping from his face and straining his sweat soaked tunic. Obviously the man had been at it for a while. And seemed to be enjoying getting the shit beat out of him. She was becoming concerned the way he seemed to seek out pain.

"Herald."

Aiden's head wiped around and smiled, "Seeeekaaaaa!" in his moment of distraction, his opponent landed a solid blow and knocked him against the railing.

For the love of Andraste! He was drunk. Cassandra stepped in the middle of the circle, holding her hand up to keep the sailor from attacking again. "I apologize for any transgression that the Herald committed on your boat."

The sailor laughed, "He hasn't done a thing."

"Then why are you two fighting?"

"Not fighting, my lady." Aiden swayed and not from the waves rocking the boat. "Just friendly sport to pass the time."

"Pass the time." Cassandra growled pinning the Herald with her angry gaze. "This is how you chose to pass the time?"

Aiden shrugged.

"Alright everyone break it up." The captain ordered his men and they slowly dissolved offering the Seeker an apologetic smile. He handed over a fresh cloth, "Dinna mean any harm, Lassie."

Cassandra turned and wrenched the flask from Aiden's grasp, "You're bloody drunk!"

"Give it back!" Aiden whined.

Shaking her head, she tossed it over board and surprisingly the man looked like he was going to jump ship after it. "What in Thedas are you doing? You plan on going in front of the Grand Clerics drunk off your arse and like you went a few rounds with a mabari hound."

"Guess they'll see me for the mutt I am."

"What is wrong with you?" Cassandra demanded shoving him back against the railing when he tried to move. "The world is being torn apart, demons are falling out of the sky, and you risk our only chance at getting the Chantry to see us as help and not the enemy. Are you that self-centered? Does the suffering of Thedas mean nothing?"

"I didn't ask for this, Seeker." Aiden gripped the railing to remain upright. "I don't want to be the damn chosen of Andraste! I don't want this fucking mark on my hand! I don't want any of this! I wake up in a cell with you ready to chop my head off and since then my life has ripped out of my control. So, fucking excuse me if I handle it in ways that aren't up to your standards, Lady Cassandra."

Cassandra resisted the urge to pull at her own hair. "And do you think you're the only one who feels like that? I lost so much in the explosion, yet I don't let it consume me. I can't, not when there is a whole in the sky and Mages and Templars are being pulled apart." She pushed at his chest again missing the way he tensed. "Pull your head out of your arse and pull yourself together long enough to secure an alliance."

"Well since you asked do nicely."

Losing control of her temper, Cassandra shoved the man over board and stalked back below deck leaving him to fend for himself.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Aiden was jarred from his lumber by a rough hand picking him up by the scruff of his neck. No! Not again! He twisted in a horrible attempt to get free. He couldn't take anymore.

"Stop squirming, slave."

Aiden stared up at the human noble that 'broke him in' and snarled, "Get your hands of me!"

"Silence!"

"Please." Aiden resorted to begging, "Please, don't touch me."

The man let out a deep laugh that startled the other occupants in the dimly lit room. "No I've grown tired of you." He ran the back of his hand over Aiden's tear stained cheek, "You've got such a pretty face. You'll make an excellent prize for those with the right coin. Come on."

The chains around Aiden's ankles made it difficult to walk. For the first time in weeks, he stepped out into the light and it blinded him. Had it been weeks? Or days? There were no windows in any of the rooms he'd been taken too so he had nothing to keep track of time with. The only thing Aiden had to go on was the regular visits from the man he followed. He shuttered in self-disgust of the things the man made him do and the hours of pain spent on his knees.

Seeing the small boat, Aiden looked around desperately seeking some type of escape. The moment he set foot on the sea vessel, he knew that he would never find freedom. "Where are you taking me?"

"To Val Royeaux to be trained." The man yanked the boy along the plank and onto the boat.

"Trained?" Aiden's voice trembled out the word.

A man with blonde hair and too fancy of clothes for a simple fisherman emerged from the lower deck. "To be a sex slave. The Orlesian pay good money for someone to for fill their pleasure." He sized up the frightened boy and seemed pleased. "Elf-blooded noble. A rare find. Here."

Aiden's terror quickly turned into furry as for the second time in his short life he was sold for a pouch of coins. Defeated, he let the blonde headed man drag him below deck to join a handful of other 'slaves' of all races. He sat on command and was chained to a bar running along the hull of the ship.

After two days at sea, Aiden wished for his dark cell back. The compartment smelt of vomit and piss and filled with sobbing. He gathered that none of his other shipmates had to pleasure of being broken in like him. A part of him felt that he should warn them of the pain, but the bitterness in him kept his mouth shut. They all would find out soon enough.

The blonde headed man that paid for him came down the stairs whistling a happy tune. His nose wrinkled against the foul odor, "You'll all need to get cleaned up before we dock. Can't have my new recruits smelling like piss, can we?" He turned to Aiden and knelt down to undo his shackles, "You try to run I will beat you within an inch of your life. Do you understand?"

Aiden nodded.

"Good. Now on your feet."

Aiden silently complied and found himself being ushered up the stairs. In the distance the outline of the city was beginning to peek through the clouds. He looked over the railing of the boat and contemplated on jumping over board. Drowning had to be a better alternative to whatever awaited him once they docked.

"Strip." The Noble instructed. "Strip boy!"

A few other sailors stopped what they were doing to watch Aiden strip his filthy clothes off. Covering himself, Aiden barely had time to bow his head before he was hit with a bucket of freezing cold bucket of water. The next thing he knew, the noble and one of the sailors were scrubbing him down vigorously with bars of soap. His stomach turned as the large hands worked down his back side and between his tights. One set lingered longer than necessary setting Aiden off. "No!"

"Boy!"

"I said no!" Aiden shoved free, slipped on the soaping deck before scrambling towards the bow of the boat. Yes, death would be better. But the noble was quick and yanked him back just before Aiden could haul himself over the railing. "NO! NO!"

"Restrain him." The Noble growled tossing Aiden like a rag doll to the sailor. "Stop struggling."

"No!" Aiden wouldn't give in. He would fight until there was nothing left.

"Stop struggling, boy." The noble repeated taking Aiden by his hair, forcing him to look up. "The sooner you learn to submit the less pain it will be for you."

Aiden reared his head and spat.

Smiling, the noble wiped his sleeve over his face before releasing his grip on Aiden. He started on the strings of his breeches, "Looks like you need an early lesson, elf-blood. If you would like to know what will happen if you bit, I dare you to try."

Cassandra wondered from below decks to find the Herald bent over the side of the boat puking his guts out. The man had been nothing but a mess since stepping onto the boat.

Drained, Aiden sank to the deck in a heap, "Come to lecture me again, Seeker?"

"Cassandra." She corrected picking up a skin of water and made her way to the pale man. Ever since their little sparring session in Haven and the way he said her title while he held her to the earth, hearing him call her Seeker sent a shock wave a pleasure through her body. Something she needed to fix. "Drink."

He didn't argue, he didn't have the strength.

"You need to eat as well." Cassandra rummaged around to find a bit of bread. "Put something in your stomach besides brandy."

Aiden grunted in protest.

Her eyes narrowed, "I'll force feed it to you."

And he believed her. So Aiden broke of a small piece of the stale bread and shoved it in his mouth. It felt like eating glass, "Don't you have to watch over Varric to make sure he doesn't con sailors out of their money?"

"Then he'd fine even more trouble," Cassandra pulled up a crate to sit. "At least when he plays cards he stays in one spot. Unless someone cheats then he's on his own."

"And you left him alone?"

"Solas is watching over him."

"And you, Lass are stuck with the drunken bastard sheep of your precious Inquisition." He forced himself to eat a bit more of the bread. Part of him wanted her to go away so he could continue to drink himself sick. But what surprised him, was the other part of him that wanted her to stay. Wanted to confide in her because he knew that she would be less likely to judge. Aiden really wasn't sure why he had that urge. That only made him want to retreat into himself even further.

"Maker, I can't do this." The whisper left Aiden's mouth before he could stop himself. Shit!

Cassandra's face softened, "Do what?"

"I can't be the hero that you want, Cassandra."

"I'm not asking you to be a hero, Trevelyan. I'm asking you to do what's right and help me close the breach."

He rubbed his hand over his tired face, "That's asking a lot."

"And you give yourself too little credit."

Aiden grunted.

"Look at the work you did in the Hinterlands. You helped people that others casted aside." Cassandra stated, "And don't say it was only me, Trevelyan. Because despite your bullshit attitude, you do want to help."

He really did. The more he saw Cassandra's goodwill, the more Aiden found himself wanting to help. Only problem was, he didn't know how. No one in his life ever helped him. They only took and took.

Cassandra looked to the lights in the distance, "What is it about Val Royeaux that has you like this?"

"The people want to kill me for the Divine's death."

She shook her head, "I know there is more than that."

"It's nothing I can't handle." Aiden muttered hating that she could see past his defenses. His dream was still too fresh in his mind to keep it up. "It's late. You should sleep."

"As should you."

"I'll be fine."

Unconvinced, Cassandra moved across the deck, found the most comfortable spot, and settled in for what remained of the night. She knew that he didn't want to be alone even though he would never admit it.

Aiden finished the bread and the water skin by the time the Seeker fell asleep. Since he wasn't ready to face anymore memories, Aiden picked up his cloak and carefully draped it over the sleeping woman and settled down beside her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The closer they got to the gate, the more unnerved Aiden became. Memories that he rather forget flooded his mind leaving him pale and shaking.

On your knees!

Open your mouth and no biting or you won't eat tonight.

And they would. They wouldn't feed him for days even a week at a time for not obeying orders. They only gave him enough water to keep him alive. Aiden detested food nearly as much as he detested being touched. Another means of control. Countless times he gave into their demands of obeisance and service in order to stop the hunger pains.

"Trevelyan?" Cassandra turned when Aiden began to lag behind.

His wide eyes found hers a moment before he dashed out of sight and purged his stomach of what little it contained. Over the roaring in his ears, Aiden could hear talking between the Seeker and someone whose voice he didn't recognize. The Templars were here and the grand clerics up and arms along with a mass of people waiting for them.

What if one of them recognized him? What if his owner was among them?

Aiden fumbled for one of his potion flasks gulping it down in one swallow. He couldn't go back to a life of chains and darkness. If that meant being this Herald and helping the Inquisition, then he'd do it willingly.

"Scruffy?" Varric cautiously rounded the corner, "Seeker sent me to check on you."

Aiden swiped the back of his sleeve over his mouth. "Not a big boat person." He muttered allowing the effects of the potion to settle his stomach and slow his thoughts. He ignored the need to take another dose knowing he risked the Seeker's wrath if he messed up this opportunity.

"Neither are dwarfs." Varric laughed, "I spent the whole trip curled in a ball and trying not to puke. I like the ground firm beneath my feet."

"But not over your head?"

"Not all dwarfs like caves."

Aiden tugged his hood over his head, "Let's get this over with."

"If they do end up hanging you, I promise to write you a grand tale of your heroism and stupidity."

Despite the gnawing fears in the pit of his stomach, Aiden laughed. "Make sure you leave out the part of my aversion of losing my bow."

"That's the best part!" Varric lead his fellow rogue back to Solas and Cassandra. "See Seeker, our beloved Herald is fine. He's adjusting to solid ground that's all."

"Hmpf." She glanced at Aiden's shadowed face knowing that was the furthest from the truth. "Are you ready?"

"You mean for them to throw a noose around my neck?" Aiden rubbed his damp hands along his trousers. "I'm just dying from anticipation."

The corner of her mouth twitched, "Hold onto that sense of humor."

The masks made Aiden queasy again. Everyone he severed always wore some type of covering over their face almost as if somehow it would keep the maker from seeing their sins. They even forced him to wear one once his face became too much to look at.

Maker he hated this fucking city.

Swallowing his discomfort, Aiden followed the Seeker to the gathering crowd near the gates to the merchant docks. One of the grand clerics was already spouting nonsense about the Inquisition to anyone that would hear. How exactly was he supposed to convince anyone of anything when the woman claimed him to be a false prophet and a heretic responsible for the death of the Most Holy? Aiden could feel the rope tightening around his neck.

The words the woman spoke grated against his skin, "You claim I am the enemy." He felt all eyes turn on him and fought the oncoming panic attack. "The fucking hole in the sky is out real enemy. We must do what we can to stop it."

"It's true." Cassandra stepped up to stand beside the Herald. "The Inquisition sees only to end this madness before it's too late."

Clinking armor drew Aiden's attention to the approaching group of Templars. The grand cleric called them Thedas's great hope as they marched across the stage. Aiden gaped when one of the men struck the old woman down.

"Not here for us, then?" Aiden asked in surprise.

"As if the Inquisition is worth our time."

Cassandra pushed her way through the crowd, "Lord Seeker Lucius. It's imperative that we speak with…"

The Lord Seeker kept marching forward, "You will not address me."

Aiden watched Cassandra stiffen at Lucius icy tone.

"Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste prophet. You should be ashamed." Lucius casted her aside with the wave of his hand.

Cassandra lowered her head looking completely deflated as the Lord Seeker continued on. Aiden felt a surge of need to defend her, to protect her from this Lord Lucius and the restless crowd. They would all be dead if it wasn't for Cassandra.

"At least she's doing something!" Aiden growled, "Everyone else was running around chasing their tails instead of addressing the problem. She's not a heretic and I'm no prophet. The only goal of the Inquisition is to close the breach."

Lucius glared, "If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that demands respect is mine."

"If you claim to want to help," Aiden pressed on wishing he could tear the man apart instead of pleading for his help. "Then help us seal the breach."

"Oh the breach is indeed a threat." Lucius agreed on a sneer, "But you certainly have no power to do anything about it. You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition less than nothing."

Varric waited until the group of Templars marched away to speak, "Charming fellow."

Aiden looked to Cassandra hating the look of shame etched into the lines of face. Couldn't these Templars bastards see her want to do what was right? To do good? To help? "Cassandra."

"We should send a raven to Haven." With a deep breath, the Seeker schooled her features and lifted her head up high. "To inform the others of what happened here."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

After running into a bow wielding elf that talked in riddles, being personally invited to a meeting with the mages and to some grand gather for some noble, Aiden managed to talk his part into setting out of the city to camp instead of renting a room. Varric complained the most. Cassandra threatened to ship him back to ahead of them to Haven with Sera and the dwarf didn't say another word. Aiden was just grateful that he didn't have to stay the night in the city that made him sick. Grateful that Cassandra picked up on his discomfort and helped him convince the others.

When the others were asleep leaving Cassandra to watch camp, Aiden moved out of the shadows and sat next to the Seeker. "Here." He nudged his nearly acquired flask into her hands. "Think you could use this."

Cassandra didn't lecture nor particularly care he was drinking, simply took the flask and drank from it.

"Easy now or you'll get drunk." Aiden warned when she took another swig.

"All my life I've been told I'm too brash and stubborn, but I pride myself on doing what I think is right." Cassandra took another sip from the flask. "Now they will write that I was a mad woman. A fool. And they may be right."

Hearing the sorrow in her voice tore at his heart. Shame and guilt dripped from her words reminding Aiden that she wasn't completely made of steel. That she was human. And also reminding him his life wasn't the only one in turmoil. "Because you decided to do something? You didn't have a choice."

"Apparently Lord Seeker thinks I did." Cassandra finished the flask and handed it back. Her eyes remained unfocused and fixated on the glowing embers of the small fire. "I've given everything to the order. My duty and faith has been tested time and time again and still I gave them all that I am."

"Not many can say the same."

"It should have been me."

"What should have?"

"The one to perish at the Conclave. So many people, better people, died and yet the Maker chose me to live. Three hundred and eleven lives taken in the explosion, another hundred unaccounted for." She could in her head each night before sleep claimed her and in the first moments of wakening. "I couldn't save any of them. I can't close the breach. I'm nothing but a heretic now."

"Lots of people died." Aiden snapped jarring her out of her drunken stupor. "Lots of good people died and low lives like me survived. It sucks but it's the way the world is and no amount of guilt, moping, or sitting around is going to change it. Action is, Cassandra. Wallow tonight as I know you grieve in a way I can't understand. In the morning go back to the ball busting woman who threatened to chop my head off."

Cassandra said nothing as he left, but let Aiden's seemingly harsh words sink in. He was right after all. Complaining would accomplish nothing and get them nowhere. She had to turn all of these emotions into strength to do whatever it took to close the breach. That would be tomorrow's goal. Tonight while the other slept and she was too drunk to hold them back, Cassandra pulled her legs to her chest, placed her head on her knees, and wept.

Cassandra woke to something very wet lapping her face. Head pounding from the brandy she drank the night before, she cautiously opened her eyes and let out a cry of surprise.

A mabari hound let out a happy bark.

"At least he's got good taste." Aiden chuckled as the hound continued to lick the Seeker's face.

Cassandra tried to dodge the hound's drooling tongue, "Where on earth did he come from?"

"Found him chained to some tree not far from here." He whistled and the mabari trotted back to his side. Aiden bent down to give the hound a good scratch behind the ears. "Judging by how skinny he is, I figured he was left there to die. I let him go, gave him a bit of food, and now he hasn't left my side."

"You can't keep him."

The mabari whined in protest.

"Why not?" Aiden wondered soothing the dog with a long stroke along its spine. "He can hunt his own food and once we get some meat back on his bones, he'll be a good demon killing machine. Right, boy?"

The hound let out a happy bark.

Cassandra opened her mouth to argue more but shut it promptly when the dog took the rogue down and made the man laugh by lapping his face in the same fashion as hers. Aiden Trevelyan actually laughed in a non-sarcastic genuinely joyful way. The rusty sound shifted something inside of her, something unexpected.

"A mabari hound?" Solas's voice came from the front of his tent.

Aiden tensed and, sensing his discomfort, the hound went to attention.

The mage held up his hands, "I mean you no harm."

The dog still didn't back down.

Patting the hound's head, Aiden pushed to his feet all traces of that small bit of happiness gone. "I'll wait for you when you're up and packed."

Cassandra's brow drew together when the Herald picked up his already packed gear. The man didn't sleep again and she was beginning to wonder if he ever did.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

"He will need a name if you are to keep him." Cassandra informed as they grew closer to Haven.

Vivienne sneered at the hound running circles around their small party. "Why you want to keep such a thing is beyond me. I still can't believe that you dragged that mangy mutt into my party."

Aiden tossed the stick the mabari begged him to throw and watched the hound chase off after it. "Yet you invited me."

"Perhaps if I had known your lack of manners and fashion sense, I might have changed my mind." The Grand Enchantress shook her head in clear disappointment. "We shall see if we can't fix either of those."

"Good luck with that, Lass." Aiden muttered grateful that Vivienne pulled ahead of them.

Varric shook his head, "You're just picking up the most colorful people, Herald."

"I told you not to call me that, Varric." He hated the title and wished he could purge it from people's minds. "Now where do I begin on naming a dog?"

"Did you not have any favorite books growing up?" Varric asked missing the way Aiden tensed. "Maybe a name for your favorite characters."

Aiden rubbed the back of his neck trying to avoid the Seeker's gaze. The damn woman seemed to pick up on things he was trying to hide. "Not a big reader."

Sensing he was being discussed, the hound bounded back to the trio with the stick happily between his sharp teeth.

"What do you suggest, Seeker?" Aiden's question took her by surprise.

"You're asking me?" Cassandra asked in wonder.

"He seems to like you."

Smiling, Cassandra took the stick the hound offered and knelt down to study his face. "How about Merthin?" The mabari's seem to think about it for a moment before licking her face causing her to laugh.

"I think he likes it." Aiden agreed.

"Man I can't wait to see the look on Ruffles' face when you drag him into the Chantry." Varric seemed delighted at the thought.

"She's just going to have to deal with it. Right, Merthin?" Aiden took the bark as a yes. "Come let's get you as muddy as possible for your grand entrance."

As they walked through Haven, Aiden felt the tension rising in his shoulders. No one dared looked at him, but were quick to whisper behind his back. Merthin seemed to since his discomfort and brushed against his leg. Aiden gave his head a long stroke finding himself grateful to have the hound at his side. It made him feel better, feel safer. Strange that a stray animal that he just met made him feel such a way.

Aiden gave his head a nice pat in thanks.

Josephine was waiting for him and Cassandra in the front of the Chantry. "It's is good that you've return. What is that?"

Merthin, covered in a good layer of mud, trotted happily inside tracking mud all over the place.

"Have you never seen a dog, Ambassador?" Aiden asked.

"Of course I have." Josephine tried and failed to dodge the dirty hound. "What is he doing here?"

Cassandra couldn't help but smile at the horror on the Ambassador's face when Merthin dropped to his hind legs and planted both muddy paws straight on her chest. "Josephine meet Merthin, our newest recruit."

"A new recruit?" Cullen made his way from the war room with Leliana.

Merthin dropped back to all fours looking to Aiden for as if seeking permission before he approached the commander. Once he got consent, Merthin circled around the blonde headed man to size him up.

Cullen offered his hand for the hound to sniff before stroking its head. "Mabari's are proud and fierce war hounds. How did you come to find him?"

"Trevelyan found him abandoned outside of the capital." Cassandra explained and decided to steer the conversation away from the hound. "So you received the raven."

"Yes." Cullen straightened, "It's a shame that the Templars has their sense as well as the capital."

Aiden called for Merthin to return to his side, "We made contact that's all that matters."

"Only Lord Seeker is not the man I remember." There was a slight strain in the Seeker's voice.

Leliana seemed to agree, "True. He's taken the order somewhere, but to do what?" She let the answer hang in the air for a moment, "My reports have been very odd."

"We must look into it." Cullen insisted, "Not everyone in the order will support the Lord Seeker."

"Or," Josephine broke in, "Or the Herald could simply go to meet the mages in Redcliffe."

Cullen whirled around outraged at the suggestion, "Do you think the mage rebellion more united? It could be ten times worse."

Aiden rubbed the bridge of his nose fighting off an approaching headache, "Or you can stop bickering and make a fucking decision."

"I agree." Cassandra replied catching the look of surprise cross the Herald's scarred face.

To Aiden's annoyance the three advisers went on fighting one another on which side to approach. He didn't have the time nor patience to with it. "You guys argue amongst yourselves. Find Merthin and me when you've come to a choice." He took a couple steps and stopped when the mabari stayed put with a look casted in Cassandra's direction. It seemed like Merthin had taken to Cassandra just as much as him. At least the hound had good taste. "Say goodbye."

Barking, Merthin rubbed against the Seeker's legs.

Cassandra scratched the hound behind his ear not minding that her legs were now in covered in mud. "You be a good boy and keep him in line."

Merthin barked in assurance and trotted out after the rogue.

"You let him keep the mabari?" Leliana asked with a raised brow.

Cassandra just shrugged, "It seems they perfect for each other. Now if you excuse me I would like to get cleaned up."