Disclaimer: All characters and things associated with The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and Lionsgate. This writing is for pure entertainment only.
Summary: Sequel to A Far Worse Games To Play. Emberly survived the Games, but at what cost? She has distanced herself from the family that loves her and the people who need her causing Katniss and Peeta hold onto hope that their daughter is more then a Capitol Puppet, but all signs point to their daughter being the destruction of Panem.
CHAPTER 4
KATNISS POV
I lay awake in bed. I can't sleep even if I wanted to. My thoughts are still running in circles around what Emberly said early this evening, before two peacekeepers escorted us out of her house following the interview.
I didn't tell Peeta or Galen what Emberly had said to me on the way home. Neither of them spoke much either, and Galen went to bed without a word, even without his dinner.
Peeta was quiet most of the night too. Even as we got ready for bed, he hardly said much to me. Now, I glance over at him next to me and am certain he is asleep. His back is too me so I can't be sure but he hasn't moved much.
I sigh and look back at the ceiling, replaying Emberly's words over and over in my head again. What does she want me to trust her about? Why would I trust her? How did we lose her so quickly?
I shift in the bed a little, trying to calm my own nerves.
"Katniss?" Peeta's voice is drowsy.
"Sorry…I didn't mean to wake you up," I apologize.
Peeta turns to face me and I can see from the circles under his eyes that he hasn't slept yet either.
"I wasn't sleeping. Trying to…but wasn't," Peeta confirms what I thought.
I nod. I understand. Sleep has never come easy to Peeta nor I, though it usually is easier when we are together. Tonight, that is different.
"Are you thinking about Emberly?" Peeta asks, always able to read my mind.
Again I nod.
"Katniss…I never thought I would say it but…please, don't lose sleep over her," Peeta asks.
My brow furrows in confusion at Peeta's words. He is the last person I would have ever thought to talk like that.
"She's gone, Katniss. I didn't want to think so but…after tonight. She isn't Emberly anymore. Something changed in her and…I don't think we can bring her back. I thought we could but…I think we lost her," Peeta says.
"She survived the Games, Peeta…we haven't lost her," I cut him off.
"A lot of Victors survived and were lost, Katniss. You know that as well as I do. I mean, even the ones we are close to…Johanna, Haymitch…they aren't who they were before they went into the Games. They lost everyone, they are cold…they have drinking problems…the Morphlings…I mean, come on. Think of all the Victors who were just lost souls after the Games," Peeta rambles.
I shake my head. "We didn't come out like that Peeta."
"We came out together, and even then…how hard was it for us to pick up the pieces?" Peeta says.
"She didn't come out alone either," I remind him.
"No, but Gale's son isn't going to fix her. He is just as messed up…they both killed their fellow tributes. Did you forget Damir?" Peeta says, and I can see a fierceness in his eyes now.
"Of course not, Peeta," I am offended by his questions.
"We didn't raise Emberly to kill…let alone kill her best friend. Something changed in her. She is cutting us off and out of her life and I don't know how we can possibly fix that," Peeta admits.
I sigh and bite my lip. We are silent for a moment.
"Emberly said something to me, Peeta," I finally say.
Now Peeta is the one who is confused by my words. "What?"
"When we were leaving. When I walked up to her before Effie had us escorted out…she said something to me," I explain a little further.
"What did she say?" Peeta asks me.
"She said…to trust her," I say, knowing the words still sounds as confusing now as they did at the time.
"Trust her? Trust her about what?" Peeta asks.
I shake my head. That's the same question I have been asking myself since Emberly said it. "I don't know…but it must mean something. I don't think she is as lost as you think."
Peeta thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. "Or it just is her way of telling us to trust her, we don't belong around her."
"Or something else," I push with hope.
"Or nothing else. She isn't well, Katniss…and she has made it so clear that she doesn't want us to be around her. For all we know her words could have been a warning," Peeta says.
I must admit Peeta's words surprise me. He is usually the optimistic one, the one holding onto hope and I am usually the one who gives him reality checks, but not this time. He is probably right; I know that. Emberly is so lost and even the way she spoke to me didn't seem like much more then a warning for us to stay away; maybe to trust her that she knows what is best now, but I can't give up that easily.
"So what do we do? We just give up? Peeta, she is our daughter," I remind him.
"I know that," Peeta sighs and I can see now how much he is struggling. "And no, of course we don't give up but…I don't see how any of this can be fixed except with a lot of time."
After a moment I nod. I know Peeta's words are true. The only way we can fix any of this is through time but that has never been something I have been good with. For most of my life, time has been nothing but my enemy. How much time it would take to hunt, how much time we had left before the next Reaping, how much time my father spent in the minds, how much time my it would take for my mother to recover. Time has never been good to me, and this is no exception.
EMBERLY POV
My first stop after my parent's visit is the liquor cabinet. I want to drown my thoughts, drown my feelings, and drown everything until I leave for the Capitol next week.
I feel like a horrible daughter; maybe because I am. I know how much I am hurting my parents and how easy it would be to tell them the truth. They would stand by me, for whatever is coming, but that wouldn't be fair. They fought their fight years ago. This is my fight and part of that fight is to keep them safe.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing this to keep them safe. I am doing this so that my brother has a chance at a normal, safe life.
The world has changed. I know that. The Games that I won have started a new spark and I am responsible for feeding that spark and making sure it grows into the fire I want it to be.
I open a new bottle of whiskey and chug it straight. It burns, but it also reminds me I am alive, and I have a mission.
The problem is I have no idea what that mission is. I have no clue what plans are to come, or even if our first plan worked. If everyone in the arena actually died, if Mason and I have no allies after all, I don't know what we will do.
A knock on the door startles me and I turn just in time to see Effie shuffling in the room, a disgusted look in her face as she takes small steps in her heels.
"Well you were most unpleasant! Your poor parents!" Effie scolds me.
I snort and shake my head, continuing to drink my bottle.
"What happened to you, Emberly?" Effie asks.
I chuckle at her, always playing my part. It's certainly easier with the alcohol. "I won the Hunger Games. Didn't you see?"
Effie shakes her head once more as Myers moves into the room.
"I will be back in a week to get her for the tour. Do me a favor and make sure she doesn't kill herself with the alcohol or the drugs for that matter before then?" Effie taps Myers on his vest, indicating I am now his responsible.
Myers nods and Effie walks out of the room, leaving me alone with the closet thing I have to a friend right now. Myers doesn't judge me and for someone who grew up in the Capitol he is rather kind, but I can even see it on his face. I am disappointing him.
KATNISS POV
Four days have passed since the interview at Emberly's home and since then there has been no sight of my daughter. Not even at the Hob, where I know she visits regularly to buy things I doubt she needs. When I went there this morning I heard comments among some of the poorer sellers that she had not visited in days.
That part of her gave me hope. Part of her was still trying to give back to the District, even though most despised her. She was spending money she didn't need to spend to help the people of 12. That is the daughter I raised; that was the only glimpse of Emberly that seemed liked my daughter since she returned from the Games, but now, word is she hasn't been to the hob in over a week. I guess even that part of her is gone.
I stand at the sink; skinning a squirrel I caught that morning. I have been hunting again just like Peeta has been forcing himself to head to the bakery early. He is still there now, probably cleaning up to close since the sun will be setting soon. We decided after the interview that we needed to start getting back in our normal routine, for Galen's sake at least.
And Galen seems to have gotten back into his own routine. He sits at the table in silence while I work at the sink doing his homework. I haven't seen him bring a book home in days so this is a significant improvement and I hope he can start getting some normalcy back in his life as well, especially if life without Emberly is going to be our new normal.
None of us have talked much about the interview or Emberly since that day. We watched the interview only because the Capitol ordered it and we certainly did look like a happy family. It is disgusting how good we all are at acting for the Capitol. I cannot help but admit I am really surprised by how natural the lying came to Emberly and Galen. Peeta and I have had years of practice lying to the Capitol, but my children picked it up just as naturally.
Galen sighs and it catches my attention. I put the squirrel down and look over at my son. He has put his pencil down now.
"Homework trouble?" I ask, though I don't know how much help I can offer. When I was in school the lessons were skewed to only learning about the Capitol and the minimum to survive in District 12, mostly coal, reading, and money exchange. Since the rebellion, schools across all the Districts have gotten increasingly better. Galen and Emberly know things, like algebra, real world history, and science; things Peeta and I never learned.
"No…just looking at the calendar," Galen admits.
"For what?" I ask.
"For when the Victory Tour starts…for when Emberly finally leaves," Galen adds the last part while looking down at his hands.
"What?" My son's words surprise me and there is no way to hide it my voice.
Galen shrugs but continues. "I just think it will be easier when she leaves. Then it will be like she really is dead rather then just living down the street and hating us."
My son's words crush me and I have to lean on the counter to steady myself. I am somewhere between tears and wanting to throw up. Never in my life did I think my children would talk about each other like that.
"She doesn't hate us," I whisper finally.
Galen looks up at me with quizzical eyes. "You were at the interview, mom. You say what she was like…"
"She's just confused," I try.
Galen shakes his head. "No. She just doesn't care anymore."
"Galen…" I start.
"Its okay, Mom. I am okay with it. I just…I pretend my sister did die in the Games. It makes this easier," Galen explains.
I bite my lip. I wish Peeta were here. He would know what to say. I am lousy with words and this is just a shining example of it. I try to open my mouth but nothing comes out and Galen seems to take my silence for agreement as he gathers his textbooks and heads out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room.
EMBERLY POV
I am shaken awake and I immediately start swinging. Someone is attacking me; someone's hands are on my shoulders. I open my eyes to see Myers standing over me, though now he is shielding himself from my swings.
"Calm down, damn it!" Myers is screaming at me.
Once I realize I am safe, that he isn't trying to kill me, I am able to control myself. I sit up quickly and immediately regret it, my head pounding from all of the alcohol and morphling I had taken last night to sleep. In fact, I have been taking it every day since the interview, since I threw my parents out.
"What?" I growl at him.
"Get up. Effie is downstairs…" Myers warns me.
I shake my head at him, stumbling out of the bed or rather nearly fall out of it. The drugs are still in my system and Myers helps me get to my feet, holding me steady by my arms.
"Effie?" I am confused. I may be high, or drunk, but I know that a week hasn't passed since Effie was last here. We are not leaving for the Victory Tour yet.
Myers nods.
"It hasn't been a week though…" I reason.
"She's early…" Myers seems to think I am able to stand on my own now and lets go of my arm. "And you would get changed…she isn't alone."
My eyes widen at the fact that someone is with Effie. I have no idea who it could be with Effie but it makes me nervous. It could be anyone from the Capitol.
I move try and clean myself up but don't get a chance as Effie walks in my room. I am shocked who follows her. It is Mason.
