I felt like Ritsu was just as surprised as I was when he agreed to go out with me, making me feel a little uneasy about how much the underclassman actually wanted anything to do me. However, I found myself feeling satisfied just to be near him. I'd arrive at the library first, but he'd never be far behind. I'd often have to either invite him to sit with him or go sit with him. He was obviously still anxious around me, but I could be patient. If his feelings weren't quite caught up to my own, well, that was fine. I could wait.
Or at least that's what I thought.
'Surprised' is an understatement to what I felt when Ritsu invited me to come back to his home. I swore my throat was starting to close up. My tongue felt dry, like all of it's moisture had been stolen by my palms and damn I hated myself for being so nervous for no reason. I was just going to a friend's house. Correction: I was going to my boyfriend's house. I was going to Ritsu's house, oh god, I was going to Ritsu's house, and I desperately hoped my nerves didn't show on my face. I nodded when I realized I hadn't answered him and he gave me that sweet smile once more and I swore to god that if I tried to walk a step I'd fall flat on my face. I stood from the table we were sitting at despite that and exited the library with him, hoping he couldn't hear my heartbeat like how I could.
We walked side by side in silence, our hands brushing together ever so slightly and I eventually made the decision to take his hand into mine even though I was unsure of what his reaction would be.
He made a shocked sound, his instinct being to pull away, but I held his hand a little tighter.
"Is this not okay?" I asked him, tone seeming disinterested even though that was far from what I felt.
"N-N-N-No, i-i-it's f-fine." He stuttered, his cheeks red once again as he tried to relax.
I gave a short nod in response, my grip relaxing slightly as I felt a little more confident that he wouldn't escape.
I wanted to escape. Ritsu's house was definitely a lot more...upper class (for lack of a better word) than I was expecting (and definitely more than I was used to). He smiled sheepishly, as if sensing my discomfort as we approached the front door.
"My mom is probably home." He warned, his hand dropping mine before panic made his eyes go wide with realization.
"It's alright. I won't tell her about us if you don't want." I said, figuring that was what he was stressing over. His body relaxed, but guilt shone in his tone.
"Thank you," He replied, seeming as if he wanted to say more, but decided against it as he opened up the front door.
"Tadaima," He called out after we both slipped off our shoes, but there was no response. I smiled a bit to myself when seeing his eyebrows furrow together before he simply shrugged. "I guess my mom went out. W-We could go to my room?" He suggested and suddenly escaping was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.
"I-I'll go get us s-something to drink," Ritsu said. I went to tell him I was fine, but he ran off before I could. I shook my head, a little amused by his nervousness if I were being honest. An embarrassing part of myself was happy to be in Ritsu's room. It was full of books, pictures, there wasn't anything particularly special. But it felt safe, warm, soothing. It felt like Ritsu.
I sat down, making myself comfortable as I heard footsteps approach the bedroom door. Ritsu appeared with two glasses, that irritatingly soft and gentle smile on his face as he took a seat next to me, handing me the drink. I thanked him before taking a sip, nearly choking on it when he spoke again.
"Why do you love me?"
I stared at him for a moment, making sure I heard him right. He stared at his lap, refusing to meet my gaze and I couldn't help but to smirk a little.
"Why? Because you're you." I answered, sounding so much put together than I truly was.
"T-T-That's n-not a reason!" He protested.
"You honestly wanna know why? Because it would probably take three days to list all the reasons."
He looked up at me now, mouth opened slightly in shock at the ridiculous, but actual time it would take for me to explain my affection and his blushing expression made me forget all about my 'patience' as I quickly closed the gap between the two of us.
