NEW ECLIPSE

***UPDATED 7/3/2019***

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. [sadly] So please don't sue me for being better than the original writer. Thanks. LOL

Chapter 4: "I am Grown"

BELLA

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"Bella!" He said tersely

"Charlie!" I mocked back.

"You mind telling me why Jake brought home your motorcycle? No, never mind that. What is someone like you doing with a motorcycle in first god-damn place? Bella, do you have any idea how dangerous this would be for you?" Charlie asked firing off one question after the next.

"I know dad, alright? I'm sorry you found out this way, but I honestly wasn't trying to keep it a secret from you. I just haven't given it much thought in a while." I explained myself, not even bothering to hide my irritation.

"I've been noticing that trend. Ever since he came back you haven't given much thought to almost anything or anyone else either. Why is that?" Charlie accused.

"Don't make this about Edward. This," pointing to the bike, "has nothing to do with him. He wasn't even here when this happened."

"That's my point, Bella. He leaves and you shut down to the point that your mother and I practically had to decide whether or not to hospitalize you for depression. And now I find out when you weren't moping about, you're off somewhere riding around trying to get yourself killed. And if it wasn't for Jake that is probably what you would've done." Charlie said, frustrated.

I knew hospitalizing me was a close thing, and something my parents were still strongly considering given my state of mind at the time. But that's why I made the effort and purchased the bikes, then made the trips to La Push in the first place. I was trying to stay sane.

But with Edward in woods behind me, I don't want him picking up on any visual images that Charlie maybe broadcasting of how I was then.

"Dad, you don't have to worry about me and bikes. You know how accident prone I am, don't you?"

"Yes Bells of course I do, that is why I was so worried, I can't imagine you surviving long on that thing. I will be damned if I lose you to clumsiness".

"Yeah, me too. I wouldn't want that either. One ride and I already had my fill". I said lightheartedly, trying to change the tempo a bit.

"Good," He said looking on suspiciously at my quick surrender to his point. "...ah, very good. I really didn't want to have to fight with you about that".

"Me neither, Dad. It's a moot point, so no worries there."

"Christ Bella, what made you think to do something like this in the first place?" He asked, no longer huffing, looking relieved that he won that battle without much resistance.

"I… really don't know dad. I saw two bikes for sale that were practically on their way to the scrap heap, and I decided to purchase them. And since I knew nothing about motorcycle repair, I brought it to the only mechanic I did know, Jake."

"So, this is what you and Jacob have been doing while you were hanging out? Building death machines?" Charlie asked incredulously "Maybe leaving you and him alone unsupervised wasn't such a good idea. But I was just so damn happy that you were making moves on your own again. I didn't want to jeopardize your new found purpose no matter what it was. I just didn't think you of all people were doing ...that." He said gesturing to the motorcycle.

"You didn't want to rock the boat, I get that. I wasn't trying to rock the boat either, so I tried to do something different, something that wasn't anything I ever thought I would do. But in the end, it wasn't for me. And just so you know they are only death machines, if I'm riding one." I said jokingly, but he didn't budge. "Look, I just needed something to do, okay?"

"Yeah kid, I know, and I know why you did too." He accused

"Dad don't... just, don't! I said gesturing to him with my hands up, to get him to back off this.

I was beginning to see that it will always come back to 'that' with him. No matter what argument Charlie and I will have in the future, Edward leaving me would always come back to the front of all his arguments.

I would've ignored and talked around them, but Edward was sure to be seeing all of this depicted piece by piece in Charlie's mind, and I don't want him feeling guilt over this. I don't want him feeling anything over this. I just want it to disappear.

God, why was that so hard for everyone to get?!

"Bella, I know you don't want to talk about it... "

"Then don't talk about it. Don't push this anymore. Don't push me."

"Bella, all your problems seem to come right back to your 'relationship with him." He said ignoring me completely.

God damn it! Leave off already!

"Charlie, Edward and I are working out our issues and moving on together at our own pace. It is what people do in a 'healthy' relationship. But as soon as we get any type of traction, you and people like you come along and try to bring up some past fault that we've been working hard to get over. So I am asking you, let us work out our problems on our own. We don't need yours or anyone else's input right now." I stated as even-tempered as I could. Just about having as much as I could take with Forks and all the damn people in it.

"Bella, shouldn't that be a sign to you? Don't you think people are saying something because they are also worried about you?"

Oh my GOD!

"Is that why you let everyone tell you how to do your job and live your life?" I questioned sarcastically "Wait, you don't, do you? Why is that? ...Because it's none of their business!" I said coming closer and closer to boiling over.

"Listen, I know who cares for me, who truly cares for me. It's a short list of people that I would barely need all my fingers to count. And don't worry, you're on that list. So anyone else's opinion of me...of us doesn't mean a thing. Edward and I just need space to be us right now. Because that's all we are trying to be, that is all we are trying to get back to. Can't you understand that?" I said trying to calm down.

"Bella..." he said quickly flexing his jaw. "That is fine for you and him, but what about everyone else? The ones that remained behind?"

"Yes, I know, I know". I said feeling guilty because one of those other people was in the woods right now behind me.

"I haven't forgotten about them. But Edward and I are working through some things, and that takes time. We are trying very hard to avoid past mistakes. I don't want to intentionally take those relationships for granted, but if they truly saw how I was without Edward, and me now with Edward at my side once more; I hope they would understand the reason behind me wanting to take time for just us. And if they can't do that, then to me that is just an indication of the level of commitment they had to my 'genuine' happiness."

"Bella, I don't want your other relationships to suffer, and you shouldn't be so quick to just write them off like that. What about Jake, Bella? Edward is back, so what does that make him?" Charlie asked not knowing more than one ear would be perked up to hear this response.

"I'm still his friend, that's all I can be. I know you both want more but that is something I could ever give either of you. Friendship is as far as I can go, anything more complicates things, and I'm not looking for complicated right now."

"Fine, not now then, but maybe later. You shouldn't close the door on him just yet Bella. He would be my choice for you. He stayed and helped you when even I couldn't. He got you to move on your own again. Bella just...' consider' his offer, because you can't tell me it doesn't have some merits. He's a good kid and comes from a good family. But more than that, I never have to fear 'him' leaving you for dead in the woods like that other one. And as long as he stops building death machines with you, he has my approval." Charlie offered on Jacobs behalf.

Why couldn't he be that easy with Edward?

"Christ Charlie, do you even hear yourself? Were you even listening to me? That's not what I want!" I all but shouted. "Listen, I understand you have a fondness for Jacob, and that it also helps that you and Billy go way back. But Jacob is not my choice, and won't ever be. He's family Charlie, and it's like you're asking me to date, my kid brother. I don't care how tall and muscular he is now, or how handsome other girls may see him. I don't see him that way, and in the end, that is what matters. He is not what I want. Can you respect that dad?" I started out tersely but ended as diplomatically as I could.

I was still not sure where my 'assumed' friendship is with Jake at the moment. I might be hanging out with too many vampires for his liking. But Charlie should not be making any assumptions that we could be more. I don't need Jacobs head filling up with hope for that possibility, which would only make things worse.

"So that's it? He gets what? A postcard once a month now, after so many years of friendship?"

"Dad, stop being so dramatic. We are still friends and have been friends since we were kids. But if you want to be technical, I only came here 2 months out of the year for 17 years dad, and Jake and I meet for the first time since I was 7 years old. So if I do the math, I have only really known Jake a little less than 2 years. Sure were friends, but I don't know how we can continue when he is so determined to screw me over like this". I said pointing to my bike.

"Bella, he was looking out for..."

"Cut the crap, you would lie for him?" I snapped at him. He would rebuke Edward, but would lie for Jake? No, I would not allow that to go unanswered.

"I just talked to him," pointing to the woods behind us "He was deliberately trying to get me in trouble so that you would ground me; he told me so himself." I sneered.

"Then why aren't you thinking about 'why' he would do that Bella? Clearly, he is trying to prevent you from..." Charlie tried to press, but my livid express paused him in his tracks

"Why? Because he selfishly, wants me away from Edward dad that's why..."

"And why is that?" Jumping in before I finished clearly thinking I was about to make his point.

"Because he wants me for himself, the same reason you're hoping to hear I suppose, I really don't know. But like you, he will have to respect my choice, and my choice is Edward." I said frustrated with this line of questioning.

"Bella, everyone you talk to is telling you the same thing about Edward, doesn't that say something? Can they all be wrong? He's no good for you Bella, why can't you see that?" He asked trying to be poignant, but I wasn't having it.

"Well as for your first question'' I said bitterly "It says that one person is just as clueless about me and Edward as the one next to them, and as for your second question, what part about 'I don't care about what other people's opinions are on my 'relationship', don't you get?"

"Bella, that's not..."

"I know Charlie! I know you think you know what everyone means when they have something bad to say about Edward. It's what you are hoping for, isn't it? For them to do your job for you, so you don't look like the bad guy? Well, let me give you a bit more information. I. Don't. Give. A. Damn! They don't care left or right whether Edward and I stay together or not. All they want is a god damn show!"

"A show?..."

"Yes! A show, something to mock, or point their fingers at." I informed him. I was raging now. I was going to get this message through to him. "They, like you, like mom, want to see some version of Edward on his knees, begging for mercy, begging for my forgiveness and me denying both. They want to see me punching, kicking, slapping, cursing, spitting, anything; because they are bored and they just want our pain and heartache to bring their miserable existence some amusement. And I won't stand for it! Do you hear me?! I won't."

"Bella I...''

"And as for Jake, the precious son you never had. I need him to stop thinking of me as anything other than a 'sister' or friend. So all these other 'crap' ideas you and he have going through your heads, have to stop. It is all ready for him trying come to terms with Edward and I don't need you helping his hope along by openly supporting his candidacy! I won't be sold by my own father to make his drunken fishing buddy and his immature son happy. I am not that girl, Charlie! I am your daughter! Not some god-damn offering to appease your friends or your own opinions. My thoughts and choices are not yours to promise to anyone, do you hear me?!" I stated firmly but didn't wait for a response.

"And as for the opinion of the 'wise town folk'; whose opinion you couldn't stand till they started to do your speaking for you; you can go on and praise the town folks for all of their pearls of wisdom, and I will label you a fool right along with them!"

My eyes began to tear I was so mad, but I wasn't done... this ends now.

"And don't think for a second, that I'm going to 'allow' you to punish me for continuing to be with the man I love, because you don't like him. Who and what is right for me is for me to know, you don't have a say. I've known right and wrong since I was nine, and have been keeping house for both my so-called parents since! So, no, no one is asking for your 'permission'. Your blessing would be appreciated, but I can live fine without it. And if you're not willing to give me your blessing, then find the same will to hold your tongue, because I don't want to hear your criticism or words of condemnation either. I won't stand for it! I am 18 years old, and I can flat out leave anytime I want now. I. Am. Grown, remember that!" I finished and began walking.

Charlie's face went through a myriad of expressions. Shock, anger, understanding, confusion, sadness, and then ultimately reluctant resignation.

But I was past caring wither he agreed or not. I walked past him, through the front door.

"Dinner will be ready at 8!" Then slammed the door.

[End Chapter]

-Well, well, well. What did you think about Bella's stand on about her independence? I did it this way because I always felt that she needed to grow more emotionally especially for the decisions she was making. She needed to be stronger, and SM's emotional worm version of Bella was not strong enough to show the world she was able to make mature decisions, and that led to so much confusion btw her, Edward, and JB. So she will be maturing more and more every chapter.

Sidenote: I am strongly considering doing a BD rewrite. I have sooooo many ideas' flying through my head that I feel the need to just write them all down.

So, me doing a BD version as well, although not written in Stone, is looking like a good possibility. RL may interrupt all my plans. We'll see.

[That BD rewrite is called HORIZON]