Carson hadn't really meant to break up the, uh, private moment; he was just looking for a place to hide. But out-running and out-maneuvering three military persons (including one who could run faster than most Earthlings and one who was formerly special ops) was proving to be a mite difficult. He knew the infirmary wasn't a particularly sneaky place to hide but he figured at the very least he could hold them off with a very large needle and threats concerning the places he would stick it if they didn't leave him alone.
He'd expected to find Rodney and Elizabeth fast asleep, not in the middle of a passionate snog.
"Sweet Mary, mother of—" he decided not to finish that oath and instead whirled around, clamping one hand firmly over his eyes.
"Carson?" came a somewhat out-of-breath voice—Elizabeth's.
"Sorry, sorry," he said, waving one hand apologetically in their general direction. He didn't risk removing his other hand from over his eyes. "Didn't mean to interrupt… just, um, just looking for…needles."
"Needles?" came Elizabeth's voice again, amused this time.
Carson nodded. "Preferably bloody big ones."
"Carson." There was no mistaking McKay's voice, surlier than normal. "Stop being a prude and turn around."
Carson peeked over his shoulder in time to see Elizabeth gingerly lowering herself onto the bed. He turned around, forgetting his own discomfort in light of hers.
"Do you want something for the pain, lass?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Thank you, Carson, but it's nothing I can't handle."
He nodded as he watched Rodney help adjust her pillows.
"So what's this about needles?" she asked once she was settled.
"I'm being hunted," Carson replied, jabbing an accusing finger in McKay's direction, "by your team."
"But, Carson, needles?"
"Because the next person who tries intimidatin' me into telling the bairn's name is goin' to get one right in the arse!"
"Why'd you tell them you knew it?" Rodney asked, perching on the end of Elizabeth's bed. "A man of your, ah, seeming intelligence should've known better." He looked Carson over. "Really, I'm surprised you lasted this long with them chasing you."
"This is the thanks I get for bringin' your wee one into the world!" Carson exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.
Elizabeth chimed in with a light warning kick from under the covers to McKay's rump. Carson was sure it wasn't hard enough to wound a kitten but Rodney rubbed the offended area with one hand, giving her a hurt look.
"That's the last time I keep a secret for you, McKay," Carson said before turning his most charming smile on Elizabeth. "But for you, love, anything."
"There you are!" a loud voice echoed in the corridor outside the infirmary.
Immediately recognizing it as the colonel's, Carson grabbed for the nearest weapon he could find and spun around, ready to fend them off. It wasn't until Colonel Sheppard ran into the room, followed closely by Teyla and Ford, that he realized what he had grabbed was a drinking straw. It had been lying on Elizabeth's food tray next to his intended target, a fork (which, in hindsight, he realized wouldn't have done much good either).
When the trio saw Carson holding the straw like a dagger, they all skidded to a halt.
Sheppard let out a snort of laughter. "What are you gonna do, Doc? Suck us to death?"
This earned him curious looks all around, and Teyla shook her head sadly.
"Again, that sounded different in my head," he sighed.
Carson echoed his sigh, tossing aside the straw. He turned to Rodney and Elizabeth and shrugged apologetically. "I tried."
John waved him away. "Yeah, yeah, you tried and you failed." He rounded on the McKays. "We've been patient—"
Carson let out a bark of laughter.
"—and haven't bothered you—"
"—just Carson," Elizabeth added pointedly.
"—but enough is enough."
"Just tell us already!" Ford exclaimed loudly.
Everyone cringed at the volume and turned expectantly to the baby. She made no attempt to awaken and they breathed a collective sigh.
"Haud yer wisht," Carson hissed at Ford.
"Huh?" said Ford.
Carson sighed for what felt like the hundredth time than day and rubbed his tired eyes. Bloody Americans… "Be quiet," he translated.
A sly smile Carson recognized all too well spread over John's face.The colonelpicked up a metal carafe and dangled it precariously from one finger.
"The name or somebody gets a rude awakening."
"John," Teyla admonished.
Rodney's eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, wouldn't I?"
Rodney and Elizabeth exchanged knowing looks. "He would," they chorused. Elizabeth touched his arm gently and he nodded. (Carson knew from experience that the two had mastered the art of silent speech long ago, the direct result of spending far too much time together.)
With a proud smile, Rodney announced, "Josephine Ada McKay."
There was silence as they all seemed to take it in, testing it to see if it felt right.
Carson couldn't take it anymore. "Are we all happy now? Great. Brilliant. I'm goin' to get some sleep." To the McKays, he touched his hand to his forehead in a mock sketch of a bow and said, "G'night." He looked at the colonel. "To you I say 'good riddance'. And Ford?"
"Yeah, Doc?"
"Try not to wake my patients up." He went out running a hand through his hair, muttering, "Keeping overworked surgeons up till all hours…no respect…"
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A/N: I thought it high time we heard from the ever-so-handsome Dr. Carson Beckett. His "haud yer wisht" is not Gaelic, just a Scottish vocab choice. Oh, and John's "you tried and you failed" is my little tribute to my favorite Simpson's quote.
A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Cheers! You guys are wonderful and make me want to write all the more. I'm about halfway through the next chapter where you'll get a little background on the reason behind the name. Hope it lives up to expectations.
Oh, and I hope everyone watched 'Atlantis' tonite! It was high-larious!
