Disclaimer: This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters.

He laughed once more, and then six vampires – the vampires that I had once considered family – stepped out into the clearing.

My breath caught in my throat and I could do nothing more then stare at them with my mouth hanging open.

Chapter 4: Suffocating

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Bella" he said simply.

I made no movement, I couldn't, it was like I was frozen in place. The only part of my body that was able to move were my eyes. And they never stopped.

They searched every face.

First they landed on Alice, who wore an expression of undeniable excitement, and happiness. I swear that if she could have tackled me with hugs, she would have. But – thank god – she seemed to realize that that wouldn't be the best idea right now.

Next, they went to Jasper, who was right at Alice's side. His expression was one of concentration, and if I had to guess I would say that he was trying to decipher my emotions, along with the rest of his family's. Looking at Jasper made me think about that night so many years ago on my birthday when I got a simple paper cut and was very nearly killed by a ravenous Jasper.

I always wondered if that night had been a deciding factor in their move. What if that tragic event had never happened? Would they have still left?

I pulled my eyes away from Jasper and began to study Esme and Carlisle. Both of them had an expression of concern, shock, and love. This confused me, and I had no clue what to make of it. Why weren't they angry with me?

Instead of pondering their expression, my eyes went to Rosalie. Her expression was easily decipherable due to the hatred in her eyes that were currently glaring at me. Ahhh, Rosalie. I see nothing has changed.

Finally, my eyes went to Edward. I had saved him for last – afraid of what I might see there. But what I actually saw completely shocked me, and it confused me even more than I already was.

When my eyes met his beautiful topaz ones, the only thing I could see in them was an endless pool of pain. Was this because I was here? Did he really hate me that much? But as we continued to stare at one another, I could see the pain begin to lessen. Only infinitesimally, but enough to make my unbeating heart flutter in pleasure.

Why is he in pain? I felt the urge to walk across the forest and take him in my arms and comfort him. But I didn't for three reasons. First – I knew that he didn't love me, and that if I threw myself at him he would just think of me as pathetic. Second – I didn't really know if I wanted to be with him. He has caused me so much pain, am I really willing to forget about that and act as if it never happened? And third – because Emmett was still holding my arms in the inescapable snare of his grasp.

I realized that everyone was staring at me, and I quickly shied my eyes away and began to struggle again.

I can't stand this any longer. I need to leave; I need to get as far away from here as possible.

I fought Emmett's grasp with as much strength as I could, but to no anvil. I hadn't even loosened it an inch. But I didn't stop struggling, I twisted, turned, kicked…. I tried everything, but he didn't even budge.

"Bella!" Emmett shouted "We just want to talk!!"

In response I bit down on his hand as hard as I could, and thankfully, he dropped his arms and started swearing.

"Shit! Jesus! Ouch!! Dammit Bella!!" He snarled

I felt a little bad about that because I knew that vampire bites had a sting to it. But that didn't stop me from scouting the area, trying to find a way to escape.

Just as I was about to take off, he spoke.

"Bella…" Edward said in his angelic voice.

I instantly stiffened. I could hear the pain seething in his voice, and for one brief moment I was worried that my resolve wouldn't hold and that I would turn around and run straight into his arms. But – thankfully – I was able to keep myself under control.

I didn't turn around. I didn't move at all. I just stood there, half couched, facing the thick forest walls.

"Bella – Bella please just talk to us." He said in a barely audible whisper. It seemed as if he was having trouble talking, like he couldn't find the right thing to say: the right thing to make me turn around and listen.

But his words sparked something in me: anger. He expected me to talk to them!! Was he insane? Suddenly the thoughts I had been thinking that first day I saw them at school flooded my mind once again, and this time found their way out of my mouth.

I turned sharply on my heel to face them, and began shouted at the top of my lungs.

"You ruined my life! You're the reason my father was murdered, the reason I have to live everyday in pain, not even able to rest my mind with sleep! And now you expect me to talk to you!! Are you insane, or just brainless?!"

The expression on every one of their faces was of shock. They were all momentarily stunned into silence.

"Bella, I swear, we didn't know! We didn't realize the danger that we were leaving behind!" Alice said, breaking the silence.

"You didn't know!" I said, still shouting "Yeah right! You knew that Victoria was still out there and you left me!! Do you even know what I have been through? I witnessed my father being murdered, saw him being drained of blood and then torn apart piece by piece! I have no one!! I have no friends, no family, nothing. Everyday for the past twenty years has been my own personal hell, and all you can say is 'we didn't know'!" I finished, exasperated.

The pain on each of their faces was unbearable. But it was the expression on Edward's face that made me fall to the ground and start tearlessly sobbing.

His eyes had gone from a beautiful topaz to a depthless midnight black, in a matter of seconds. They were endless pools of pain, pain that I had caused. Although I was angry at him, I hated to see him in pain; especially when I am the one who caused it.

My body started shaking and I fell to my knees gasping for air and sobbing. It felt as if everything in my life had been piling up into a huge stack, and finally got too tall and collapsed.

"Shhh, Bella. It's okay, you're okay." A beautiful voice soothed me.

I felt cool hands grab a hold of me, and I became vaguely aware that I was being carried. This should have bugged me – being carried off to god knows where by six vampires who were more or less the reason my father was murdered and I was turned into a monster – but I didn't care, I barely even noticed. For I was suffocating in the pain that was my life.

A/N: This was such a fun chapter to write! It was also a very difficult one... I had like no clue what to say. So I apologize if it sucked. But - once again - please, please, please write a review telling me weather or not you liked it, and what I could do to improve it! I'll try to get the fifth chapter up as soon as I can.