"We made it!" Cassie said to her group that was scattered amongst the first class seats. The first-class section was spacious and roomy with leather seats. "Now you guys can relax. This shuttle flight is only about thirty minutes. It'll take us to the orbital dock where our cruise ship is waiting for us. Isn't this exciting?"
Katt was putting on eyeliner with the help of a pocket mirror. "I am going to have so much sex on this trip."
Wolf was sitting in a seat in front of her. He struggled to turn around and clamor over the back of the seat to look at Cassie. "Why does she get to have sex and I don't?"
Cassie grabbed her forehead to pinch out the frustration. "Wolf I said you could have sex."
"Oh durr I forgot." He grinned at Fox who glared back at him with an in-flight magazine in his hands.
"I'm going to go check on Pepper," Cassie said getting up.
"Yeah you go do that," Fox grumbled. He pointed at Wolf. "And listen faggot. You lay a finger on me on this cruise and you die."
"Oh I'm shaking in my little boots."
Fox tugged on a passing flight-attendant's short skirt.
The poodle turned. "Uh yes sir?"
"I'll take the most alcoholic beverage you have."
"Zoness coconut rum? Glass or bottle?"
"Bottle."
Falco nudged him.
"Make that two."
Peppy tried to turn in his seat. "Who are you kids talking to? Ask her if she has joints!"
The flight attendant smiled courteously at Fox, politely ignoring Peppy.
"Um yeah he's just kind of old and haywire."
"Are you talking about me?! I can hear you! I'm not as old as you think!" Peppy still struggled, getting tangled in a seatbelt that tightened across his face.
Falco cringed. "Can you just… slip something in his drink? Like a sleeping pill or a ruffee?"
"Just because I've got gray hair and droopy ears doesn't mean I can't do things you young people do!"
"Sir I don't think we can do that." The flight-attendant frowned.
"I still have a fight or two left in me!"
"Please," Fox said. "We're begging you."
"Maybe a fuck or two! Bring that poodle over here. I'll show her and her vagina!"
"I'll see what I can do."
Cassie made her way into the other first-class cabin where she saw Bill and Pepper. "There you guys are."
"Yo whatsup Cassie!" Bill said pulling off his shades and checking out the blonde's figure. "Casserella."
The golden retriever took the empty seat next to Bill and took out her planner. "Everyone's settled." She flipped through pages. "Firstly, I want to go over some of the-"
"The Cassmeister."
"Haha okay. Well yes, when we get to the cruiseship I was thinking-"
"Cassino. Cassassa."
"Are you done?"
"No, I have like a few more. Cassafina, Casserrole. Cassette tape."
"Okay. You're done now. Or I'm walking away."
Pepper stirred awake in his seat. "Is that…? Is that Lassie?"
"What?"
"The dog that the little boy can understand and she barks at danger."
"For the love of— No. It's Cassie and okay well first Lassie was a collie and I'm a golden retriever."
"I'm not following you."
"He's not on drugs is he?" Cassie asked Bill.
The gray-haired dog thought for a moment. "Dudette I really don't know. Is caffeine a drug?"
"What?"
"Oh I got a good one," Bill pointed. "Cassarnia. The magical land of Cassarnia I could go to if I could just get into your wardrobe."
"Okay screw this." She got up and walked down the isle. "I am so close to quitting and leaving all you fuckheads behind." Other passengers blinked.
Bill smirked, "Lassie, now she was a hottie. I'd fuck her. Is that show still on?"
Pepper stared at the seat tray in front of him. "I think it's just reruns now."
A beautiful older collie sitting on the other side of the aisle behind Pepper looked up from her magazine. She pulled off her sunglasses and studied Bill. "Excuse me, but the answers are no and no."
Bill went wide-eyed. "Woah Lassie. Wait. I only asked one question."
"I know. But we're just going to say 'I'd fuck her' is a question I can say no to because there is simply no chance you would ever get in me."
"What is it like bitch day today?" Bill grumbled and slouched in his seat.
Lassie returned to her magazine and smirked. "Fuckface."
The shuttle made its way higher and higher up into the Cornerian atmosphere, reaching space and blah blah blah, insert beautiful description here and eventually the ship docked at the space station where their cruise ship awaited.
Dozens of security guard dogs guided the President-elect out of the plane to much deafening cheering fanfare. Confetti rained down. Pepper tried to eat it.
"This is awesome!" Slippy cried as beautiful felines laid him... with flower necklaces.
Fox pinched one of the felines on the chin as she put a necklace on him. "How you doing?" She smiled coyly and moved on. Cameras flashed everywhere.
Cassie smacked Fox's arm. "Could we please not fuck anything in first five minutes we're here?"
"Why do you have to rag all over my game? Geezus I was just—"
"Ew ew ew, get off me." Wolf smacked away several feline girls who tried to lay him. "Attack of the vaginas."
Cassie rolled her eyes. "This was a horrible idea," she said to herself, barely hearing her voice under the roar of the crowds.
"Citizens of Lylat!" Pepper waved his arms. "Thank you! Thank you for making me your president! And I'm single too! Any beautiful ladies who would like this, please line up at my suite door after we've boarded! I have a large penis, which you should all remember from Camp Happiness."
ROB stood tall above everyone. "Speaking of penis. I'm feeling an erection coming on."
Falco pulled Katt close, "A vacation's just what we need right babe?" His hand wandered to her chest.
She patted her cheeks with blush, not paying attention. "Oh fuck. I think I forgot my birth control."
"You what?!" Falco shoved her away and she crashed through a flower arrangement. "You dumb whore! How are we supposed to have sex now?"
"Oh my God," Cassie grabbed Falco's arm. "You do not shove your girlfriend publicly, in front of all these people."
"She forgot her birth control! And she knows my sharp bird penis breaks condoms!"
"Wow! I don't care! The point of this trip is to make Pepper look presidential, not so you can have some fuck fest with your girlfriend."
"He's like looking real presidential like right now," Bill said pointing.
Pepper was swinging a spear he ripped off a historical statue. He spun around smacking people, mowing them down until he hit the edge of a fountain and flew into it with a huge splash.
"Great," Cassie moaned.
Fox sighed and started toward Pepper to help him. "This physical humor is boring me."
"Yeah me too," Falco said. Without warning Katt ran up behind him and smacked him over the head with a spear she had also ripped off a statue. He collapsed to the ground, unconscious.
Wolf watched as people trampled over Falco to go see Pepper. "There are so many dirty things I could do to him right now. Where to begin!" He pounced on him.
Cassie spun around. "Shit! Where's Peppy?"
She turned and saw Peppy in a dark corner having sex with a palm tree.
Andross entered with his luggage and was whiplashed by the roaring crowds. "What the fuck is this?! Where are we?"
Leon went wide-eyed. "I don't know, but I'm ready to partaaaay!"
So am I!
