Chapter 4: A Modicum of Mercy
"What is required of you? To do justice, and to love mercy."
Drizzt looked up as his wife and daughter entered the clearing. He'd heard them talking from afar, but their words had been indistinct. Clearly the conversation hadn't gone so well. Violet stopped short in front of him, eyes red-rimmed and lower lip caught between her teeth. She stared at a spot on the ground in front of the bench, a couple of green branches clenched in her fist.
The drow stood up and shot Cattie-brie a questioning look, but his wife just said "Carry on," then curtly strode past him into the house.
Drizzt looked back down at his daughter. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and she pressed two knuckles against her quivering lip. He put his arm around her shoulders. "Come on." He guided her back toward the forest path.
Violet's eyes stung. She put one foot in front of the other numbly. How could she have gone and been so stupid? Any hope of getting practice scimitars was gone now – Kel'nar would think her too irresponsible. And even if he somehow understood, mum would make sure she wouldn't have her own scimitars for years. It was all too much. Great tears began to roll down her cheeks, but Violet wouldn't give mum the satisfaction of hearing her cry. Kel'nar's hand tightened on her shoulder, and she quickened her steps toward the woods. The tears fell in dark splotches like raindrops on her pale brown tunic. Violet didn't look up, but her peripheral vision told her that they were past the treeline now. The first stifled sob escaped from her throat, and then she couldn't silence the ones that followed. All she wanted was to be considered grown up enough to learn weapons, and here she was bawling like a little kid, about to get a little kid's punishment. It would hurt, but that was the least of it. She hadn't been spanked for months – she'd thought that meant something – that she was considered more mature. Now that was gone too, and all on a stupid whim. Kel'nar must think I'm such a baby. The tears blurred her eyes, but she couldn't stop crying. The dark circle of thoughts started again: No scimitars. Mum cutting a thicker switch, a scowl on her face. "You should know better by now!" Kel'nar's frown, the set of his jaw. "Bring me a green branch." Her foot caught on a root, and Violet pitched forward.
Drizzt caught and steadied her. What was going on here? Violet didn't cry like this – not ever. She was his tough one, for good or for ill. Usually she stomped off in front of him like she didn't care, took her punishment with a stoic face and gritted teeth. She didn't even try to dissuade him – that had been Zaknafein's usual tactic. Last time she'd raised her chin and said "Get it over with." Drizzt had, wondering all the while if a spanking was even effective with her anymore. He'd made it sting, but no more so than usual. Afterward Violet had cried – a little. It wasn't tears he was looking for, but genuine repentance. She'd whispered a real "I'm sorry" inside of his tight hug. No, his Violet wouldn't cry like this from fear of upcoming punishment. What was going on inside of her head? What had Cattie-brie said to her? He tugged the green branches from her hand and cast them to the ground. "I'm not going to use those," he said.
Violet buried her face in the front of his tunic, leaning heavily on him and choking out more sobs. Drizzt wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. "Shh, d'anthe uss. It's alright." He rubbed her back gently, waiting for the tears to subside. "Shh, it's okay." Drizzt sank down to the ground and eased her down with him, settling her on his lap. "It's okay Vi." He repeated the calming words, stroking her back gently as though she were a frightened kitten.
Gradually the tears subsided, and she wiped a sleeve across her messy face and peeked up at him. "Mum hates me."
"Oh?" Contradicting her now wouldn't help. Drizzt tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and waited, gaze fixed on those ice-blue eyes.
Violet sniffled and looked down. She pushed the discarded green branches further away with her foot. "She made me bring a way bigger branch."
"Oh." Drizzt looked down at the switches, taking in their size difference, and understanding dawned. "You chose this thin one–" he picked it up, "–and mum made you bring the bigger one?"
"Yes!" Violet pouted, and her chin trembled again.
"Violet," Drizzt said softly, "she was trying to help you." He smiled wryly. At least now he knew what had happened.
Violet's eyebrows knit and she frowned, tipping her head to one side. "You mean she thought it would be good if it hurt more?" Her lower lip quivered.
Drizzt quickly shook his head. "This skinny branch–" he snapped it experimentally in the air and she flinched at the sound– "It's like a whip. It would hurt a lot more than the thicker one."
"Oh..." Violet looked doubtful.
"Mum was helping you," Drizzt emphasized again. "She doesn't hate you." He tenderly brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I would have cut a bigger branch too."
"You would've?"
He nodded.
Violet frowned. "It doesn't make sense. That can't be right."
Drizzt set the switch down and rolled up his sleeve. "Let me show you."
She sprang away from him so suddenly that she'd put ten feet between them before he knew why.
"That's not what I meant!"
She stopped and looked back at him warily, muscles tensed.
The ranger held perfectly still. After a few moments he stood up with exaggerated slowness and extended his bare arm. "Try out the branches on my arm. Come on. You'll see."
Violet's eyes widened. She came back slowly, finally picking up the branches after a moment's hesitation. "You really want me to...?"
"Yes."
She shifted the thicker branch to her right hand, but didn't do anything.
"Come on, Violet. My arm's getting tired." He shook his fingers a bit, then pushed his sleeve back up to his elbow, looking at her expectantly.
"I don't want to."
"Why?"
"I don't want to hurt you."
He smiled. "You won't."
"Okay..." She half-heartedly whacked his arm, and Drizzt laughed.
"Do it like you mean it, Vi."
She hit him a bit harder the second time, but Drizzt still wasn't satisfied. "It's not a punishment if I think you're just swatting a trilar," he teased.
Violet narrowed her eyes. She raised her arm high and hit him fast and hard.
"Much better." He shifted closer to her and rotated his arm back and forth for her inspection. "What do you see?"
She peered at his dark skin. "It looks a bit lighter in one spot, but it's already going away."
He nodded. "Exactly." The ranger took a step back and presented his arm again. "Now try the skinny branch. Strike as hard as you did this last time."
Violet hesitated again. "Is it going to hurt?"
He shrugged. "Let's find out."
That was as good as a yes. "I...umm...I believe you about the branches now."
Drizzt raised an eyebrow. "You haven't seen for yourself yet."
"I don't want to."
Ah. He knew that feeling. Could she, in some way, begin to understand things from his perspective? "Violet." Drizzt lowered his arm again. "Do you think I like having to discipline you and Zaknafein when you don't obey?"
She shrugged, eyes on the ground.
"I don't. But I do it anyway, when I think it's necessary. If you don't obey me, I can't keep you safe."
She didn't say anything.
How could he really make her understand? Drizzt scratched his head. He remembered Bruenor making an offhand comment about never really being able to reason with Cattie-brie until she was eight years old. Violet was eight now – would she understand an explanation? It wouldn't hurt to try. "Let's say you're the parent and I'm the child. You told me not to play with your weapons. It wasn't because you didn't want me to have fun, it was because you didn't want me to get hurt and need stitching up, or...or cut my fingers off." He was deliberately blunt. "But I disobeyed you, and I did it anyway. I'm lucky I wasn't injured, because the blades were too long and heavy for me." Drizzt paused and saw that he had her full attention. "You love me very much. Now, would it be kinder to just scold me, or to inflict a little pain so that the next time I'm tempted to play with your blades, I remember that lesson and don't do it again?"
She squinted up at him. Kel'nar didn't usually talk this much, and somehow this explanation was different than the usual lecture. "Are your scimitars really that dangerous?" she asked in a small voice.
The ranger realized that his daughter hadn't really seen him putting the weapons to use; at least not often. He nodded. "Look." He pulled Twinkle a few inches out of the scabbard and tapped his index finger lightly on the edge of the blade. He held the finger out to her, blood welling up from a fresh cut across it. A few crimson drops fell to the ground as Violet stared, open-mouthed.
"You barely touched it!"
"I know." Drizzt pressed his thumb against the gash and slid Twinkle back into its sheath.
"I always thought you were exaggerating how sharp they are."
"I'm not." He looked her right in the eye, gaze intent. "Do you understand why you are to leave my scimitars alone?"
"Yes." Her eyes were still wide, and her voice squeaked on the word.
"Good." He waited a few moments to let her new realization sink in.
"Now," he continued the role-reversal, "I've been foolishly and willfully disobedient, and you need me to remember not to play with your scimitars again. You don't like having to punish me, but you need this lesson to be memorable. You don't want to end up with a maimed child." Drizzt held out his bare arm.
Violet swallowed. "Um...how many...?"
He met her eyes. "I was going to give you three. I'll take them for you."
"I...um...okay." Violet shut her eyes and swung. She missed, but Drizzt grabbed the switch before she hit herself in the leg with it.
"No good. Eyes open. You have to aim."
Violet opened her eyes and giggled nervously. This felt so bizarre.
Drizzt watched her face and hoped it would be a memorable lesson. "Three," he reminded. "Hard, so I don't do it again."
Violet giggled again and shifted her weight, hesitating once more.
"Come on, don't make me wait, I want to get it over with."
She laughed at the uncharacteristic words, and he smiled too. Then she cracked the switch down hard, and it was a strange exercise in discipline not to evade the blow. She followed up with a second strike that felt rather like the sting of a wasp. Drizzt reminded himself which branch she was using and that his children always had the benefit of their doeskin breeches. She delivered her final blow, and Drizzt did not flinch, but he had to admit that she had a good arm, child though she was.
Violet looked up at him expectantly, panting.
"Oh – ow..." he said belatedly. He rubbed his arm, not entirely for her benefit.
She grinned.
Drizzt held his arm out to her again. "See the difference?"
Violet's eyes widened. There were three raised welts just below his elbow, long and thin. Two of the reddish-white lines crisscrossed. "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed.
He waved a hand dismissively and smiled. "I'm fine." He pulled his sleeve back down. "Do you understand now why mum made you bring a bigger switch?"
Mum. Violet let the branch fall from her fingers and hung her head, remembering. "I said mean things to mum."
Drizzt nodded. He put his hand on her shoulder. "It will be alright."
She looked up at him, sapphire eyes sparkling with moisture again. "But I said I wished she hadn't come back...and, and...I said she was really mean." Violet bit her lip.
Drizzt sighed. That explained why his wife had seemed more upset than expected. "And that hurt mum."
Violet covered her mouth with her hand, and a tear trickled down one cheek.
Drizzt rubbed her back. "You know Vi, mum was a child once too. I'm sure she understands." He looked at her scrunched-up face. "Certainly you need to apologize to her, but I know she'll forgive you."
Violet nodded, then turned and walked away from him suddenly, wending her way through the trees and ducking mossy branches.
He watched her go, her brown tunic and doeskin breeches eventually blending in with the surrounding forest until he just knew where she was by the bright white hair that was the same as his own. Eventually she stopped and sat down, and he didn't know if he should leave her be or follow. He'd watch over her at least; the woods were not always a safe place and his daughter certainly wasn't being watchful. This would not be the time to remind her of that. Violet was a mystery in some ways. There were times when he felt he could read her face like an open book, but this wasn't one of those times.
Drizzt waited a little while and then went to her, sitting down beside her without saying anything.
"Leave me alone." Violet shut her eyes tight.
"Is that what you really want?" Drizzt didn't look at her, but his tone was gentle.
After a moment she shook her head. "I just don't want you to see me cry again." Her voice cracked on the words.
"Go ahead and cry. I don't mind." He put his arm around her and drew her close.
Violet leaned against him for awhile, but she didn't cry again, just wiped away the few tears that had already escaped. Eventually she looked up. "Kel'nar?"
"Yes?"
"Um...never mind."
He lifted her chin with one slender finger. "I don't mind."
Violet met his gaze but didn't say anything further. If she ever said "never mind," Kel'nar's response was always "I don't mind." It was almost like some code between them – the play on words nearly always got her to finish what she had begun to say. Violet played the conversation out in her head. The problem was, this time she didn't know what Kel'nar would say. Perhaps she wouldn't let herself be so easily convinced.
Drizzt dropped his hand and let her look away. Evidently eye contact wasn't helping. He watched a gull glide effortless past above the treetops. "Do you want to tell me what else is bothering you?"
Violet picked at a loose piece of bark on the rough log. "It's not important."
"I think it is." He hoped his soft tone was as convincing as his words. Violet hadn't cried this much in a very long time, and he suspected it had to do with more than just her almost-punishment and the quarrel with Cattie-brie.
Violet shuffled her feet in the dirt, making a furrow with the toe of one soft boot. She spoke in a sudden rush of words. "Zak has practice scimitars and I don't. You practice with him everyday, but you don't let me try. You make me go away to play." Her voice broke. "You don't even let me watch!" She wouldn't look at him.
"Ah..." That explained things. Drizzt ran a gentle hand through her tangled white hair. Zaknafein certainly did better without his younger sister there scrutinizing his every move. "And you're feeling left out, d'anthe uss?"
She nodded miserably, as though expecting to be scolded for this admission.
"I'm sorry," Drizzt said quietly.
Violet looked up. "You...you are?"
He nodded, his expression solemn. Sometimes the ranger forgot that his young daughter was growing up too.
Violet looked suddenly hopeful. "Does that mean I can get practice scimitars too?" She held her breath.
Drizzt studied her face for a long moment. If he knew his daughter, she wouldn't forgot today's scimitar incident, nor would she repeat it. She was so eager to learn weapon skills, and what better time to start teaching her? At last he nodded. "Grandpa Bruenor could find some the right size for you, I'm sure."
Violet beamed. "Yes! Thank you Kel'nar!"
Drizzt smiled too, but only for a moment. "Zaknafein got his practice scimitars when he turned eight," he said. "You're already eight and a half. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you."
Impulsively, Violet hugged her father. "I forgive you! Can we get the scimitars today?"
Drizzt laughed. "Tomorrow," he promised, with a glance at the lengthening shadows. "Now let's go see if mum needs any help with supper." He looked at her sidelong. "Have you thought of what you might say to her?"
She blushed, but nodded.
"Good."
When they were almost to the treeline she slipped her small hand into his strong one, and Violet didn't know it, but her father closed his eyes for a moment and smiled.
D'anthe uss = "Dear one." (A term of endearment).
Trilar = mosquito. (Literally a "biter" in Drow).
A/N: In progress. I'm still editing the rest of the draft. All reviews appreciated. :)
